I am currently a grad student at Loyola Marymount University, seeking my Masters in Film production. I dream of being a film director, an autuer. I truly believe that I have a unique voice that stands out in the filmmaking industry. No one can tell a story that I can because of who I am, where I come from, and all the adversity I have been up against. I want to make a difference when it comes to media by showing other brown girls and boys they too can achieve big dreams, just like me. I am a single mother to an 8 year old girl. I have struggled to make ends meet pretty much my whole adult life. I had her young, barely reaching adulthood when I did. I dropped out of my undergrad program when I was pregnant with her, and despite the many ways I could think of how my life would be currently if I made different choices, I love the life that I have, and would not change it for anything. It took me five years to go back to school and finish my Bachelors. Even still, feeling like an old person against a bunch of teens who just left their parent's home for the first time, I am proud that I went back and finished what I started. Juggling work and school was no joke, but I'd do anything to provide my daughter with a better start off point that I ever had. Now, when I first went off to school, I told myself I should be practical in what I get my degree in. I was an English major, so I thought being an English teacher would be the best route for me. After taking an education course, however, I quickly changed my mind. After my five year break, I decided if I was going to go back to school, I would go for something that I really cared about. I decided to double major in English and Communications with a film minor. Film and creative writing have always been my biggest passions. With my communications major, I had to take an intro to video production course and I truly fell in love with the whole process. It was that semester where I decided I should take my gargantuan dream of working in film seriously. I took every video production class my school offered, joined the film production club, and would regularly check in with my professor about any upcoming projects that I could work on for the experience. It was then when I decided that the best course of action was to apply to grad school for filmmaking. To me, it truly felt like a long shot-- I never thought little 'ol me could ever do something so big. To my surprise, I got into the 5th best film school in the country, and even now that I'm taking classes at my school, it all feels so surreal. I actually had to take a year off due to financial reasons. I wanted such a big move to be played smart, and so I worked hard all year to save up money where I wouldn't regret the decision of moving all the way from Syracuse, NY to Los Angeles. My biggest hope is that when I am done with my program, my daughter is one of those brown girls that knows she can achieve anything she wants to, just like her mom.

Growing up, I was always praised for how bright I was. I understood new topics in class right away, I got good grades, and was the type of kid that would ask for "extra" work because I would finish mine so quickly. Elementary school was a breeze. However, the older I got, the harder it was to keep up with my school work. Sure, in 5th grade I could lose focus and still have enough context to know what our lesson was about, but in middle school that started to stop working. By high school, I had to tell myself repeatedly to focus or I would be completely lost. And for my undergrad, I struggled so much that I ended up taking a five year break from school altogether. I felt like a failure; like I wasn't actually as smart as I thought I was anymore. Depression and anxiety did not help either. Why am I so stupid? Why doesn't my brain work the way I want it to? All these negative thoughts about myself ate away at my self-esteem and I thought I would never be able to finish my degree. It wasn't until I was 25 that I was diagnosed with ADHD and finally had the tools and direction to set myself up in a better position for college. Understanding my diagnosis helped with knowing where I struggled in school more than I can describe. It felt like I finally had the right key to unlock the part of my brain where I was falling short. Being intelligent could only get me so far, but paying attention on my mental health took me to a whole new level that I did not think I would ever be able to reach. It has taken a lot longer than I ever wanted to get where I am today, but I wouldn't change a thing even in hindsight. This journey I have been on as far as my academics has been challenging, but still so rewarding, and I would not have been able to go on this journey had I not sought out mental health professional help. Taking that time to focus on my mental health help me realize that my brain is not broken; there is not something inherently wrong with me because I have mental health issues. I took the time to work on myself, and that is the best gift I could ever have. Now, that I am 28 and at a great spot in my life, I am pursuing my Masters at Loyola Marymount University. I never would have thought it possible, even just a few years ago. I continue to work on myself everyday, and provide myself with the self love that I need.

My dream is to inspire others and have a positive impact on my community as a Latina through my love of film. There are few who get to represent a community when you are a person of color, and I desire to be one of them.

Back in 2015, I found out I was pregnant. I was a sophomore in college and despite being young, I was ecstatic. I knew I would have to put my education on the backseat, at least for a little while as I adjusted to being a new mom. Well, I had my first born, my daughter in 2016. And only a few short months later I found out I was pregnant again and had my son in 2017. My son was born prematurely by almost 4 months, so I was a mom of two under 1 years old. When I think about this time of my life, it’s hard to believe that I actually did that. My children’s father was never really present in their lives, but before my son turned 1 he and I had split up officially. I was officially a single mom and doing everything on my own. Around the same time, I had gotten a better job and finally felt like I would possibly be able to go back to school to finish my degree while supporting my family. Unfortunately, life has the capability of altering your plans in shattering ways. My son nearly died in 2018. He was dead, but they were able to bring him back to life at the hospital. Having no oxygen though for 45 minutes had left him with an anoxic brain injury and our lives had never been the same. I felt like my life was over and I was only 22. All of a sudden, I had to learn how to be a nurse and not just a mom. My daughter, only 2 at the time, not understanding why her little brother can’t play with her anymore was probably the hardest truth for me to swallow. The life I envisioned for my children and I was never going to be what I had wanted and I had to learn how to accept it. I spent many nights crying in the hospital. Anytime my son had a fever or wasn’t feeling well, he had to go to make sure he would be OK. Whenever we weren’t in the hospital, we were always home. My son having no mobility and me always doing everything alone, we really had no way of getting out much. Eventually, we got in-home nurses approved by our insurance and it allowed me to get a job. Once I started working, I was able to get an apartment with plenty of room for us. Things were starting to look up for us. My son passed away in 2020 after succumbing to his injury. Words can’t explain how you feel when you lose a child. It was explosive. I had previously felt like my life was over, and overcoming that in order to be there for my daughter was so difficult. And so despite wanting to do nothing at all, I made myself go back to school and got myself a better job. Now, I’m in my final semester and I have plans of going to graduate school, pursuing my dreams in filmmaking. Motherhood has been such a gift for me and even through all of my hardships, my children have kept me sane and stable. Without the love I have for my little ones, I don’t think I would be as driven as I am. And so everything I do, I will forever do for those two.