Growing up, Nicki Minaj was someone I found inspirational. She rose from nothing in an area of the music industry that was male-dominated for years, and was able to conquer. In an interview years ago, Minaj said to her fans "Stay in school. Don't ever be lazy, don't you ever complain about hard work. Work hard, it pays off." This quote has stayed with me years after she said it, as growing up listening to her and seeing how she's grown really set the precedence of what hard work can really do. This idea of "staying and school and doing your best" has essentially been said by many other people in so many different iterations, but coming from her with such sincerity and thinking about how she used to be made fun of for her crazy wigs and outfits but is now praised as the "Queen of Rap", has really shown me how much potential and growth anybody could achieve when they work for it.

After being told that I screwed up my senior year and wouldn't amount to anything, I raised my grades and graduated with a 4.0. After being told that I wasn't qualified enough to work anywhere, I picked up two after school jobs and still maintained my grades. After being told that I was only good enough for community college, I got accepted into the architecture program at Penn State University, a program that ranks 13th in the country. I have been driven my entire life to prove others wrong and more importantly, to prove my parents wrong. My parents were always the ones to tell me that I wasn't good enough for success, to be surprised at my accomplishments rather than proud of them. When I scored high on the SATs, they told me that they must have graded wrong or given me someone else's scores. When I told them that I got a badge for my Home Depot apron because a customer wrote a good review about me, my parents told me that they probably give those badges out to everyone and that it was nothing to be proud about. I've worked twice as hard all my life to convince my parents to be proud of something, yet nothing I've done has ever impressed them. Most recently, they have been tearing down my goal in life; to become a successful architect. Although I come from a family of architects, my grandfather, two uncles, and an aunt being architects in India, my parents told me that it was a meaningless career that makes no money. They have told me that I could be doing so much more with my life if I went to med school or law school. I am tired of them treating me like a dissapointment and I'm dedicated to proving them wrong. I am dedicated to graduating with honors from Penn State and starting my own architecture firm. I am dedicated to making a name for myself and an income that supports me and a family. I am dedicated to reaching a level of success where my accomplishments are undeniable. I am dedicated to my future.

I have stayed up countless nights because I was crying too hard to fall asleep. My parents never believed in my mental health issues and they never felt like they were the main cause of them. From a young age, my parents used fear and aggression to teach discipline. If you were caught acting up, as kids do, you were subject to endure a belt whooping. This was my normal. Unfortunately, unlike how the physical pain hurts temporarily, the emotional pain is still there. My parents would often insult and embarrass me to teach me lessons. I have been told that I am worthless, that I am a disappointment, and I even vividly remember my dad telling my mom, that they should have stopped having kids before me. Their insults and degradation of my character have damaged me to the point where I would put up a front at school, and take my frustrations out on my classmates. I quickly became the bully at school and nobody liked me. It took me years to realize that I was projecting my personal issues onto others and that I didn't know what a healthy relationship not only between a parent and child looked like, but also between friends. I recall that my mother would work in the elementary school I went to and report anything I did wrong to my father so that I could be disciplined when I got home. Once, when a whole group of students was talking in the hallway, she picked me out of the crowd and yelled at me so that the other students would be afraid of her yelling at them too for talking when they weren't supposed to. While she was busy setting an example, I was busy fighting back tears of embarrassment. While I am legally now an adult and have come to realize that my childhood experiences are not normal, I find my parents inescapable. When my brother introduced my parents to his girlfriend at the time, now wife, they made racist remarks to her face and made her feel extremely bad about herself. Upon realizing that she was raised by her uncle and aunt as her parents abandoned her, my father told her that she will never have a real family. I have slowly begun to realize that while my parents have stopped physically disciplining my siblings and me, as they are too old to, they have transitioned into mental manipulation. By acting like the victim when they are clearly in the wrong, my parents have been able to flip situations and turn them around to the point where you feel guilty for standing up for yourself. Two hours before my senior graduation, my parents asked what we were going to do for dinner. I had insisted for weeks that I wanted to do a cookout at home as I didn't want to tell them the real reason I didn't want to eat out with them. Finally, after they yelled at me for making life difficult for them by asking to grill food at home, I came clean and said that I don't like going out to dinner with them as they are always rude to the wait staff, and they always start an argument which ends in yelling in a public place. As a child, I had to endure this embarrassment but now as an adult, I feel as though I have more freedom to avoid situations that make me uncomfortable. Immediately after being honest, my parents said that I was inconsiderate and that I didn't care about their feelings. They told me that I am no longer a part of the family if I am so embarrassed by them. My father then threw his and my mother's graduation tickets at me and told me he wasn't going. While my friends were taking graduation pictures and walking across the stage, I had a mental breakdown in my room and missed my senior graduation. Although I have never been officially diagnosed with depression, as my parents don't believe in mental health issues, I can say with confidence that I have it. There have been too many times where I've considered suicide and other ways to leave my parents. Currently, I spend every day alone in my room as I refuse to interact with anyone else. I have even changed my sleep schedule so that I am asleep during the day and awake all night so that I can go days without talking to anyone. Knowing how much my quality of life could improve if I was away from my parents, I worked hard to graduate with a 4.0 and earn admission to Penn State University. Not only is their architecture program something I am very excited to be a part of, but it is also located 11 hours away from my parents. Unfortunately, out-of-state costs are the only thing keeping me from attending this school, as my only other option is to attend a local Georgia college and commute from home. Therefore, I am trying as hard as possible to make it out of my parents' house and start a family of my own as I have come to realize that family is something that is chosen, not inherited. While I am grateful that my parents immigrated to give me a better life and more opportunities, I can never forget the way they have made me feel for years. They would always demand that I thank them for giving me basic necessities such as food and shelter when that is inherently a responsibility of a parent. Although I can never forgive them, I'll always have love for my parents but I am also a strong believer that if someone is harmful to you or your mental health, no matter who it is, they don't deserve to be a part of your life. Therefore, I have worked extremely hard and will continue to work hard in order to put my mental health first.