Growing up, one of my biggest fears was developing a form of cancer or having a family member do so. I would hear stories from those who have been impacted by cancer and could only feel an incredible amount of sympathy for them. I could not imagine what it would be like dealing with such a development; then, my fear became a reality. On the morning of June 21, 2025, I woke up to hear my parents talking downstairs. I went down, they regarded me, had a silent aside, and then nodded their heads. My dad walked into their room and my mom pulled me into the living room to sit down. The following words made me go completely blank: "Your grandfather died." I had absolutely nod words at first. In my life, I have my Grandpa Randy, who is my dad's biological father and my step-grandpa, Walter. It was Grandpa Randy who passed away, the first major death in my life since I was 2. Growing up, I did not get to talk to him as much as I wanted, so it was not until high school where we reconnected on Facebook. Here are some fun facts about him: Clifford Randall "Randy" Masoner loves the band, Kiss, as well as other rock musicians, animals, cartoons, and being silly. These were all things I ended up loving before knowing he had the same affinity, traits shared with my dad. Eight days, I believe, before his passing, he went to the hospital because he and his family suspected he had become diabetic. While that may have also been an issue, ultimately, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It had already reached a highly aggressive stage; death was guaranteed and not far. The original plan was to visit him before his passing, but he passed before my parents had revealed this plan to me or my two older brothers. I could not fathom him passing away right after I graduated high school and was preparing for my freshman year of college. We spent a week in Durant, frequently visiting my Great Grandma Norma's house, which is his mom and my dad's grandma. The whole trip was already incredibly hard, but the Celebration of Life Ceremony was nearly impossible to sit through. It sent chills down my spine when I heard the celebrant say, "Please rise for the Family of Randy Masoner." That single sentence has echoed in my mind for so long, and even writing this essay has my face and throat feeling tight. To see my dad, who I had never seen cry, turning into that little boy who loves his dad just destroyed me. After the week-long trip was over, I could not let the topic of pancreatic cancer go. It has an incredibly low survival rate of thirteen in one hundred. Some figures who have passed away due to pancreatic cancer are Steve Jobs, Aretha Franklin, Alex Trebek, and D'Angelo. It is a vicious disease that is nearly incurable if caught too late. "Too late" can mean within a few months of detection. I found myself constantly stressing over my loved ones' health, tearing up at the mere mention of my mom or dad. As an artist, I felt an intense urge to create art in his memory, so I made two pieces, titled "The Masoner Smile", and "Take a picture; it'll last longer." I gifted the first piece to Great Grandma Norma, and the other two my family, specifically my father, for Christmas. These pieces can be found on my Instagram @codenameloarky for those reading who are curious.

As a realist, I find that the best medium for me is color pencils. I love observing colors and playing around with color theory. My art is usually more vibrant than its inspiration because I love to layer color. I do this to bring a certain lively touch to my work. I have been told that I have quite the good eye for color. Using color pencils has enhanced the lives of myself and others by creating a sense of relation. I like to create the effect of actually being there with the subject matter. Many have told me that my art feels personal, which is something I take great pride in. It lets me know that I am fulfilling my intentions: draw in the audience. One of the most examples of this took place later last year. On June 21, 2025, My grandfather passed away from pancreatic cancer. Being the first major death I have had since becoming sentient, I did not know how to process it. This was especially difficult because I did not have the relationship that I wanted with him. He wanted to be present during my childhood, but certain circumstances prevented that from happening. I was hurt that the only grandparent that was active in my life was my grandma, but I was young and did not understand why he was not present. However, he watched from afar and I had no idea. He had always been there. In my high school years, I was fortunate enough to connect with him on Facebook. I would be so happy whenever he would comment. It let me know he cared. He got to see many of my milestones: prom, graduation, scholarships, performances, and more. He passed away almost exactly a month after I graduated. Ever since then, I have not been the same. I found myself to be much more sensitive and worrisome for others' well-being. My first day of college was emotionally difficult because I kept thinking of one of the last things he commented under one of my posts: "I believe you are going to be a very successful young lady." Ever since, this is something I am extremely committed to fulfilling. Being an artist, I decided to express my feelings the way I do best and create a piece in his memory. I used pictures of him and stories from others to create a persona of him that would resonate with those who knew him. I used to color pencils to layer colors and add a vibrant mood and tone. Two pieces were created. One is called, "Take a picture; it'll last longer." In this piece, I used candid pictures of him at different ages in his life to collage a group selfie. The purpose of this piece is to amalgamate a piece that lets any audience know what he was like. The second one is called, "The Masoner Smile". This piece is a portrait of him that I drew of him smiling. I got my smile from my dad, who got it from him. One of my professors kept saying she felt like she knew him personally. I gifted these pieces to all who knew him as a Christmas present. They can come to my social media if they ever want to see them. By using color theory, I brought back some of the light that was extinguished upon his death. I poured so much love into the pieces, which are included in this submission, and my family felt it through the colors. Thus, why I am so passionate about my art medium.

In my high school years, I was a member of the theatre department. I had a strong presence as an actress, vocalist, president, mentor, and friend. I am notorious for the complete and utter hard work I put into my respective roles. I am a firm believer in working hard for the things that you want. However, not all members had that mindset. In December 2023, I landed the role of Lucy van Pelt in the musical "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." This was a role I was extremely excited for. I had an understudy who primarily played the roles of Linus's Blanket and Woodstock, then, for the understudy show, we switched. Initially, she wanted me to give her my role as the main Lucy for reasons she would not say to my face. She believed she was better and that her being a senior should have completely trumped my audition. I played Lucy for 3 out of the 4 shows that we did, but one day, I woke up and saw the most hurtful post. The understudy was the daughter of a member of the board. This student was known to be difficult to work with, as well as her parents. Her family came to every show and loaded up on pictures. One morning in December, I opened up Facebook to see that the school posted about our performance, only I was not at all included. The same post was on Instagram, on the high school's page. The only photo of me was my headshot, along with everyone else's. I was not even shown as Linus's Blanket or Woodstock for the one show we switched. Her family intentionally had the school make the post because I would not forfeit the role to the understudy. Being the sensitive person I am, I cried out of anger and called my parents. Our theatre teacher was immediately contacted. All posts made about our department by the department were to come from our social media person and be approved. The teacher had no idea they went behind all of our backs just to take credit away from my performances. When we brought this issue to the administration, they refused to take down the post. It was seriously devastating to be targeted by officials like this over a role in a musical. I responded by making my own posts that included everyone who worked on the show. I even tagged the school. My father and some friends even joined in to help me in passive-aggresively call out the school. I responded this way because it had not been the first time the school prioritized popularity and power over genuine student effort. It was a bad habit that I feared would continue to grow if I did not address it. Even though it was one of many instances of favoritism, it definitely knocked the school down a few notches. The intentions in my post were subtle, but people understood what I was trying to do. It made the school look bad. The post was not taken down, but posts including me were made as compensation. Though I have not forgiven the school for such immaturity, I took this as inspiration to not let higher powers treat me badly. I have become more vocal about issues regarding that system since then, and even now that I am a college freshman, I help my friends do the same. Students from my small town and school district have faced injustices like this time after time, but I stress the importance of standing up for yourself and others. It builds self-respect and courage that I see growing weaker against authority. Change can not be made or encouraged unless a problem is addressed. Having grown more outspoken, I would certainly react the same way if faced with a similar circumstance, from tears to a resolution. Issues like this are things that prevent students from getting the exposure that would benefit them in the real world. I do not like seeing people who work hard to achieve their goals get undermined simply because they are not popular. Such a concept is something you would see in a sitcom, not a public school. It is experiences like this that healthily push me out of my comfort zone. Having to stand on my own two feet against the school's administration over a social media post may seem trivial to others, but it helped me get over my hesitance to stand up for what is right. This is something I continue to practice as the world seems to be growing in conflict, but this kind of pressure is what brings resolution to conflict.

Throughout my life, one hobby that I can confidently say has never faltered is art, whether it be creating, viewing, or researching. I have had many moments in my life where I needed to think about my identity, and art was there every step of the way. At the end of every day, I am an artist. Having art by my side has always felt personal, like I could turn to it as a friend. I am primarily a traditional realist, but I enjoy experimenting with various mediums, exploring other art styles, and creating complex pieces with meaning. This enables me to create a variety of pieces in case I get bored or run low on ideas. When I create art, it is like a force has compelled me to project my ideas. It is a primal sensation. The link I have provided is a portfolio of works I have done for my AP Art Portfolio. I decided my theme would be my disposition analogized with the elements of nature. This series provides a visual representation of the emotions, struggles, and soft moments that I generally experience on a day-to-day basis. One thing that I believe is special about the works is the resonance that was created amongst my audience. One of the goals of the portfolio was to make art that people can relate to. I based a lot of the pieces on personal struggles that many people may be wary to speak up about. The more public I made my art, the more people opened up about their own experiences and how my representation captures them. I was also pleased to hear that my pieces were interpreted in ways that, albeit different from my intention, also resonate with the audience. It is thoroughly fulfilling to hear that my pieces brought comfort to those with similar struggles, but I do not want to stop there. There is a quote that I often think about regarding my work: "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable," Cesar A. Cruz. I know there are a lot of different insecurities that go unheard in this cruel world, which is why I am willing to step outside of my comfort zone and make such representative art. Some people can not express their struggles or understand the struggles of others. By creating these portraits and scenarios, I am providing a visual of the struggles of myself and others. Like Kim Beneschott, I also love to offer my time and support to those in need, because I know how it feels to need it. Art is my go-to when someone needs a pick-me-up or a simple "I hear you." Acknowledgement can do so much for someone who needs it, and I want to be the one to acknowledge. With this scholarship, I would use it to help me in my journey of pursuing a Studio Art major and broadening my artistic horizons. I want to make a big impact in the art world as a vessel for those struggling in silence. As mentioned before, the link below is a portfolio of the aforementioned struggles, emotions, and soft moments I experience on a day-to-day basis. https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1Qu-8SwDxHjiIA-3MCizp1rAW_Bau05n_a9yjU862coA/edit?slide=id.p#slide=id.p

It can be hard to feel confident in a world full of discriminating and shallow standards. I have my fair share of on-and-off insecurities because they will inevitably be pointed out. That does not mean I should let them dictate my life. One way I cope is by knowing that I am alone, and I create art to let others know it, too. I am a realist who likes to incorporate nature into my work. It creates metaphors that describe me. For example, my piece, "Prickly Pair of Pickers", uses cacti as a metaphor for the struggles of eczema and compulsive skin-picking. This is a trait I am very insecure about because it makes me feel ugly, and that is expressed through the visuals of the piece. Others who have seen the piece felt comfortable enough to open up. They felt seen. I have always wanted to create such representative art and to know that I did inspire me to do it even more. I want my art to become a helping voice to those who may be too shy to speak up. I want people to feel comforted, heard, understood, and confident. Social media is already more influential on insecure, young, and impressionable minds than necessary. What people do not realize is that the arts are just as influential. In my opinion, there is more heart and authenticity, too. The arts are a beautiful thing, so I will utilize my ability to make my impact as loud as I can.

As an artist, you could throw a candy wrapper at me and I would take inspiration from it. As someone with a very spontaneous imagination, the real world has so many elements that creation can be pulled from. One of my favorite things to incorporate into my art is nature. I find the similarities between behaviors in myself and nature to be very interesting. There is something so raw and real about the real world that captures my interest. For example, I like to incorporate the beauties and struggles of nature to represent myself as a (sur)realist. There is so much symbolism in nature that is overlooked, which is why I use such specific occurrences to create art. We take a lot of things in everyday life for granted, and art is one way I like to acknowledge those things. I try to see the beauty in as much as I can. By creating art, I am leaving pieces of myself for the rest of the world to, hopefully, acknowledge.

My first picture frame was the refrigerator. I have loved drawing since I was a toddler. Little did I know that art would be my biggest pride. From silly little drawings of stick figures to detailed pieces about myself, my passion for art has never burned. How can one stick to art so avidly, though? It is simple. Channels such as Nick Jr., Playhouse Disney, and PBS Kids introduced me to the many components of this unique planet during my childhood. Of everything, art stood out to me the most. I remember sticking around for commercial breaks just to see the ones about art. Something about the complexity drew me in. I suppose my young mind recognized the stillness while also leaving the scene up to my imagination. Interpretation was the first step I took in finding myself. My art style has changed a lot over the years due to the influence of others. I would frequently be torn between either sticking to my style or learning the styles that I would see trending. Fun fact, I went through that wannabe anime artist phase too. I would confuse influence for inspiration, but once I realized that, I broke away from that mindset. I do not have to recreate others' works because I am not them. I am me, and that was inspiration enough. I find myself often moved by symbolism, metaphor, and juxtaposition. The art I create now frequently finds ambiguity in ordinary things. One of my favorite things to include in my art is nature. I use it to create pieces with messages about myself, but I want my art to be relatable. I have chosen art because I find great comfort in pieces that I can resonate with. I have created pieces that people have resonated with, but I am not notorious for that. The art community has brought me so much comfort, and I want to give back to it. I am challenging myself to use my "discomfort" zone to bring comfort to others. Art can speak volumes for many, and if I could be that vessel then I would wear the label with pride. I was told that if you want the message to be out there, you have to put it out there. I admire that mindset because it is an incentive that change comes with hard work, and with hard work comes reward. Like Mcristle Ross, I am passionate about art. The road to success is long, but I am willing to walk it every step of the way.

My favorite art piece that I have created is called, "Prickly Pair of Pickers". Compulsive skin-picking is a burden that takes up too much of my life. I struggle with eczema and anxiety, and when both are high, it results in me picking at my eczema, blemishes, and hair. This leaves red spots, scabs, scars, and irritation. It makes me feel ugly, yet my ability to resist is poor. "Prickly Pair of Pickers" juxtaposes the feeling of skin-picking with the sensation of touching a cactus. It is no secret that most cacti have spines that will prick you if you touch them. The spines in this case would be my skin. The scabby texture of untreated eczema on my skin is the prickles. The physical sensation of picking at my skin is like trying to peel a cactus. It is an unpleasant feeling, but the pain is unfortunately my coping mechanism. When I made the piece, I wanted to create something that represented what I go through nearly every day and speak for others who silently suffer the same thing. Skin-picking tends to be a silent struggle because it is classified as self-harm, something many may feel ashamed to take accountability for. I am no exception, but creating this piece made it easier to open up about the issue. I executed the piece so well that many people have told me they resonated with it. I feel honored knowing that I have culminated such a relatable piece.

In a world that is dominated by STEM, it may feel like there is no room for the arts. If I had a dollar for how many times I have been told that the arts are not a worthy field of study, I could probably go out to eat. Now, that may not seem like a lot, but it is still hurtful to hear. I do not take comfort in STEM. There is very little that I can retreat to without feeling out of place, but the arts have always been there for me. I can confidently say that I want the arts to be in my life forever. Why? I have an even better question: How much heart and soul is there in an AI-generated drawing, song, or story? That is my why. With art comes love, passion, ardency, and determination. The work that comes with perfecting your craft is much more praiseworthy than the newest high-tech advancement. There is very little appeal to relying on a computer to generate art when I can just do it myself, exactly how I want it. To think the arts may be driven out by artificial intelligence is scary, but it only takes one person to keep them alive. I would not mind being that one person. Evidence of the love of art is found everywhere. It is an old love. In my 18 years of living, I have seen two reasons for making art. People will either make art for money or because they truly love it. I will speak for myself when I say it is not about the money. While making a profit from art would be appreciated, I ultimately create art because I love to create and express. I have a deep relationship with art that did not stem from wanting money. Art is my favorite vessel for expression. As long as I keep yearning to express myself, art will never truly die. Like I said, it only takes one person. I have always wanted to create art that is better than my last piece. For as long as I live, I will keep creating. Artificial intelligence can not match the authenticity that is human passion.

Growing up, I did not feel like I had a solid role model. I have always felt like the "black sheep" of my family. Living in Alabama has taught me one thing: if you consider yourself educated, you will probably be viewed as a joke. I have had my fair share of arguments because when you are "educated", you are: sensitive, unprepared, a snowflake, woke, or you stay online too much. They say social media is a bad influence on the youth, but without it, I would probably be a part of the stereotype that Southern people are ignorant. It was social media that introduced me to some of my favorite artists. Two artists that I admire are Kailee Finn and Camila Salinas who were both introduced to me through TikTok. Kailee is popular for her works that battle African American stereotypes in a way that may make some audiences uncomfortable. By creating that tension, it adds a whole new level of depth to her work. Her pieces are like protests. Being someone who has always wanted to create such moving art, I admire her ability to portray issues in such a unique way. Camila Salinas is an artist who is popular for her insanely realistic self-portraits. She creates pieces about herself with meanings that are a unique balance of overt, yet vague. Her level of difficulty is something I truly admire. When I first heard about AP Art portfolios, it was she who jumped out at me first. Even as a graduating high school senior, I still resort back to her content for advice and inspiration. I have always been the "art kid", no matter where I am. Being a Southerner who is interested in art and speaking out about issues of the world is unfortunately a triple whammy. I can not live my life worrying about what my region will think of me, though. I find that art is the best way to get my messages across. To establish my place as an artist, people have to get to know who I am, first. My art is different because I can create realistic pieces that challenge my ability to use materials. In my senior year, I submitted my AP Art portfolio. I made it a point to not play it safe. I wanted to push the limits of what I knew how to do. My theme focuses on my disposition if it was juxtaposed with elements of nature. I wanted my portfolio to stand out. Being such a complex person, art provides a visual as to how I view myself. I created pieces that represented me, but I had no idea that they would resonate with others. People from social media related to my art. The feeling was euphoric, but my artistic journey will not stop there. If my voice can be seen and heard through art, then I will be so much more than "soft" or a "snowflake". When I graduate, I intend to keep making art that represents topics such as myself, my communities, and worldwide issues. Like Christian Myles Pratt, I constantly work to perfect my craft and include as much detail as possible. It is so admirable how art can move others, so with this scholarship, I will push myself to be even better than I already am. My ability will be pushed to its absolute fullest.

I started experiencing struggles with mental health at a young age, but could not recognize it due to a lack of knowledge on the topic. I come from Alabama, where mental health is not the most popular or serious topic. I struggle with anxiety, compulsive skin-picking, sensory issues, and depressive thoughts. I know that I am not alone, but because I am located in a more conservative area, it can feel like it. During the COVID-19 quarantine of 2020, I was only a 14-year-old in 8th grade when my mental health began to silently slip. I did not have a phone and communication was quite limited for me. I was essentially left alone with my thoughts. Being the "art kid" I was, I decided to try it as a coping mechanism. I will admit, that the pieces were not always correlative with my emotions, but it was a way to deal with my bad thoughts. It was helpful, but only to a certain degree. I still felt unsatiated. It did not take long to figure out the cause: my level of difficulty. Being so hard on myself, my coping mechanism started to fall flat because I had unintentionally developed a new thing to be upset about. Going into high school, I was enrolled in an art class with a teacher who, in my opinion, was quite unengaged. My mental health had improved, but my level of difficulty did not. The students were not being pushed to their fullest potential. I had a semester to grow, but I did not. My art did not remotely move me, and quite frankly, really cringy, but I wanted to give my coping mechanism another chance. I had to take matters into my own hands. I started a series where I would characterize mental health issues in collage-like drawings but ultimately decided to scrap them because they were not MY issues. I was creating work that I did not relate to. Maybe conceptual art was a no-go for me. I picked such a sensitive subject, yet I was not doing it justice. When my sophomore year came, I resorted back to doing art as a hobby. I did not even bother signing up for the class. Little did I know, the new art teacher was exactly what freshman me needed. I was persuaded to join his class my junior year, and it was like a fire was lit under my seat. My junior year was your typical art assignment, but he made it a point to introduce us to different options. For the two semesters, I took Visual Arts II and Visual Arts III consecutively. In that year, he took my art from mediocre to something I could be proud of, for once. For my senior year, I finally got to take AP Art. Seeing others' portfolios on TikTok, I kept this class in the back of my mind until I could take it. He made me realize that level of difficulty was never the problem. My ability to make it meaningful was the issue all along. For my theme, I juxtaposed nature in a way that represented me. My complexities are related to naturally familiar elements of nature. To my surprise, people on social media would tell me that they relate. Knowing that I am finally able to resonate with my art is so fulfilling. I stuck to my passion and it blossomed. Now, I can confidently say art is my vessel. Perfecting your craft takes practice, but it reflects the fight you put up. With time, your craft will be your forte.

For me, art has always been everything. Growing up, I was always the "art kid" or the kid people paired up with when an assignment involved drawing or creating. There is something invigorating about knowing you have the power to create. I am a realist currently taking AP Art at my high school. I am using my skills to create a visual portfolio that adequately expresses my feelings and disposition. I am essentially copying my imagination onto paper. In terms of inspiring others, I am already doing that. Being a senior who is the friend and mentor to many of my peers, specifically those interested in art, it always touches my heart to see them try new things and mediums per my suggestions. I encourage people to go out of their comfort zone with art because I believe expression comes in many forms. It makes me proud to see my peers take my advice and work and use it to encourage themselves. I intend to use my artwork to speak to people who share the same struggles as I do, whether it be insecurity about looks or mental insecurity. I want people to know that what they feel is not limited to them. Art is a powerful tool that can be used to connect people and create familiarity. It is a practice that has been done many times, and it never gets old. I want my art to expand beyond the bounds of my city, county, and state. With that being said, art is not limited to drawing on paper. I have also always been the "dramatic" kid. What's better for the dramatic kid than theatre? I am currently the president of my high school's theatre department. Being the oldest member by age and years active, I strive to help others find themselves through theatre. There are many areas of theatre that people leave unexplored because they are overshadowed by the idea that theatre kids are weird. So what? I encourage others to look past that. Getting to express yourself through performance and technical arts opens people to views they have never considered before. Anything can be theatre. Anything can be art. I use my influence to spread the power of theatre to as many as I can. I have recruited quite a few people. With the knowledge of my mentors, I have taught others that you can take a scene, song, or setting and interpret it in so many ways. And if you can't find a way to put it, then you can always create your own. That is the beauty of the arts. It all ties back to creation, expression, and meaning. Even after my schooling, I know I have the power to continue the spread of self-expression through art. Once others acknowledge the power behind that, maybe the world can be a better place; maybe people can even find a way to express themselves better, whether it be through a picture, song, script, story, or poem.