I've spent a large majority of my life dealing with mental health challenges, both with and without support. I still am learning how to manage and navigate my depression and anxiety, but I've learned in the past three or so years that mental illness has no place running my life. My mind may not be my best friend, but it doesn't get to control me, and it doesn't get to define me either.
These realizations were a long time coming, but they did help me re-evaluate what I wanted to do with my life. They helped me realize how much I love to help people, as well as how little I've learned about myself throughout my childhood. By deciding to study and hopefully go into a career as a psychologist, I'll be able to be the support that I didn't have for others. I want to be able to show someone that just because they're not "normal" by societal standards, they're perfect as they are, something I wish I had been told by professionals when I was young.
Since formatting this goal, I've been able to explore who I am as a person and what I want in life. I've been able to learn that I am allowed to be vulnerable and I am allowed to trust others, and that has opened me up to new relationships and new experiences. I've improved my relationship with my parents, I've experienced (succeeded and failed) romantic relationships, and I've allowed myself to grow and heal through advocating for myself. That being said, I haven't completely changed because I am still learning. At the same time, that's the beauty of growing up in a sense. I've spent a long time struggling, now I get to heal.
My experiences with my mental illnesses aren't necessarily always positive though, silver lining notwithstanding. I've been hospitalized, I've changed medication a multitude of times, and I haven't always been heard by the people I care about. I'm a naturally anxious person; I have a tendency to overthink and second guess myself. I'm still learning how to talk about my needs and I'm still learning how to let a situation go as it will. My mind likes to make itself my enemy at times. But that's normal I'd imagine. It just means that the journey isn't over yet. So far it hasn't negatively effected any important relationships, but it can be difficult for both myself and the people I care about to handle sometimes, and that's okay.
Mental health issues run in my family, which makes my experience with them more normalized than some others. That being said, the commonality of mental health challenges makes me more passionate about doing my part to help people and advocate for improvement in mental health support throughout my journey of learning to manage my own. People who have mental illnesses, disorders, and/or challenges are still people. We're just as "normal" as everyone else, in the way that there is no real normal. Everyone is different and deals with their own struggles in life. That's the beauty of life: there's nuance and individualism in everything and everyone. So while I may have struggled, I've also grown and improved as a person. I'm not letting my issues control me, I'm going to live my life how I want to.