Where many young kids focus on sports, my extracurriculars started in pageantry from infancy, followed by over twenty-two years in dance. Pageantry is glitz, glamour, and beauty. Dance requires discipline, technique, and dedication. Outside of school and sleep, my juvenile developmental years were spent immersed in a competitive dance environment. Dance molded me. I was the kid who would take the kitchen floor at a family dinner party and dance like no one was watching, though everyone was! I had a fiery personality, sass, self-confidence, and I would always show off my newest dance moves. I entertained and demanded a crowd, but they never knew it was all a façade. For me, what came out of pageants and dance was lowered self-esteem and poor body image. I was an adolescent struggling with my mental health in silence. I battled with extreme anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. My upbringing bared heavily when it came to my mental health and attributed to some of the challenges I have gone through. I did my best to keep everything bottled inside. Little did my exterior show; that I had internal struggles. I was the person my friends went to when they needed feedback or support. They came to me for advice and trusted my secrecy. By around eighth grade, and certainly four years later by twelfth, I knew that psychology was a major that piqued my interest. I wanted to study the mind. Ultimately, I wanted to be someone to help guide and support others as they navigate through life and their struggles. I knew if I was struggling, I likely wasn’t alone. Dance, an instrumental part of my life, was at the same time toxic and harmful to my mental and physical health. In a competitive environment, my teachers wanted one thing; to win. I strived for perfection and settled for nothing less. I spent endless hours doing routines and turn sequences over and over until I could not physically go on any longer. Those around me knew I was highly self-critical and lacked self-confidence, but no one knew the depths of my struggles. I kept up a façade of having “it all together,” which helped combat my fear of being pulled out of dance if people knew I needed help. Thus, I kept my struggles and deep pain hidden. I share this piece of my upbringing because it led me to a positive life pivot. My competitive dance days were behind me, but dance was still a real passion of mine. I decided to minor in Dance. I wanted to explore mental health and dance further. My struggles and upbringing left me eager to learn about the correlation between self-criticism and perfectionism in dancers. My curiosity resulted in reading research studies. In my undergraduate studies as a Psychology major with a dance minor, I wrote an extensive research paper, “Self-Criticism in Perfectionistic Dancers.” In quick summary, I learned how high levels of self-criticism could lead to numerous risks that are physically and mentally damaging to dancers; some significant risks include depression, eating disorders, anxiety, suicidality, and substance abuse. I was so engulfed in the topic that I exceeded the paper’s guideline of a minimum of five references by over fifty. My dance professor, whose course this paper was for, has a doctorate in Clinical Psychology. Her positive feedback deemed my paper graduate-level writing; one of my prouder scholarly accomplishments. In High School, I started nannying a child on the spectrum and found a love for applied behavior analysis. This was the start of narrowing in on my broad elementary interest in psychology. With dance as a minor, Psychology was to be my college major! I was enjoying my undergraduate studies in Psychology, and I landed what I thought was my dream job working as a behavior technician at Center for Autism and Related Disorders. Less than two years in, I had moved into a trainer role and received Therapist of the Year. This solidified my career path; I wanted to help guide and support others. At this point in my life, advancing my education was an absolute. With much encouragement from my clinical supervisors and the parents of families I worked with, I was at a crossroads. Which route was I going to go? Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) or Counseling Psychology. Given my recent experience, I thought it made the most sense to move forward with ABA. Having made my choice, I began the ABA Master’s program at California State University, Northridge (CSUN). Simultaneously, I was excelling and moving up rather quickly at my job. Given my strive for perfection, I thought I had to be in the right field. After all, my supervisors and those around me said I was great at it! Their kind words and support were the confidence boost I thought I needed, but my internal struggles remained. I was working full-time, taking on positions above me, and still feeling unsure if this was the right fit. After finishing my first year of graduate school, I realized something did not feel right. Even though my role as an assistant supervisor was doing behavioral therapy, training therapists, and creating lessons for my clients, this exaggerated the opportunity to work closely with my clients’ families. In listening to families talk about their struggles, I found we were not only talking about the clients but also the family dynamic and how they were doing. In these conversations, my passion grew tremendously for Marriage and Family Therapy. Given my scope, I could only provide behavioral direction and encouragement. This had me yearning for more. I realized how these families often needed a person to talk to, who would listen to them without judgment and remind them that they are not in this on their own. A person to say, “I hear you; I see you; you are not alone.” After running numerous Team meetings with the behavior technicians, the clients, and the families, my love for psychotherapy hit a new high. At the end of 2019, my mental health took a hit. After years of going untreated, my anxiety, depression, and eating disorder became too much to manage on my own. Having spent much time on myself, I can say I owe a great deal of my life to treatment and therapy. My story and past mental health struggles make me who I am today and play a significant role in why I want to be a therapist. Seeing a therapist, going through various treatment programs, learning more about myself, and hearing the personal stories of others over the years have instilled in me immense compassion for others and emphasized the importance of the therapeutic relationship. Fall of 2021, I made a significant life change. I decided I would not return to finish my last year in my MS ABA program at CSUN. ABA will always have a special place in my heart, but I knew I wanted to pursue psychotherapy and get my Master's in Counseling Psychology (MFT). That is where my true passion lies. I became an ambassador for Project HEAL soon after. Project HEAL is committed to aiding people in their deserved opportunity to recover and in their right to quality mental health care- regardless of age, race, gender identity, financial means, and more. As an ambassador, I hope to spread awareness regarding eating disorders and the barriers preventing many people from receiving life-saving treatment. In the past three years of self-reflection, I have been deeply evaluating my future professional goals. Apart from getting my license, I aspire to work in a treatment program. The prevalence of co-occurring disorders often seen in treatment programs would make this a great place to start working with clients. My background in going through treatment programs can also be a great asset when working in that environment. It might seem like a high-stress atmosphere but having been on the other end has me confident that I can handle and excel in it. Then after gaining more experience with various clients, I’d like to transition to full-time private practice. I’d like my areas of practice to include eating disorders, attachment, anxiety and mood regulation, trauma, and family and relationship issues. Nevertheless, I know things can shift as I learn more throughout school and gain more professional experience. Many of my past therapists are the people who I both look up to and aspire to be. In my past year of the Master of Clinical Psychology program at Pepperdine, I have learned so much about the current mental health crisis. Throughout my lifetime and time in treatment, my values have strengthened immensely. I value human connection, compassion, and empathy above all else. I am so excited to finally jump in on the practitioner side. I want to be a therapist who nurtures and challenges her clients– a trusted therapist who is supportive and validating. The therapeutic relationship is the most intimate relationship between two people. I want to support and guide people in their process to get their needs met and uncover happiness in their lives. Even though I am but one person, I hope to make a difference in as many lives as I can and continue to spread awareness of the crisis and lack of mental health care support and resources.