I grew up in a Christian school, which was an interesting environment as a lesbian. I attempted to come out to one friend in eighth grade and was immediately outed to the entire school. I was immediately treated differently by everyone I knew and ostracized. This went on for weeks until one day, one of the highschool girls, who later came out as a lesbian, stood up to all of it. She grabbed my hand, looked at about 30 students (our school had about 80 people), and stood up at a table to tell everyone off. She spoke about how there was no one place to judge, and if anyone wanted to talk to me about it or make jokes about it, they would have to go through her. This may not seem like a huge gesture, but it was huge in the Baptist school I spent 15 years in. It may not have fixed every issue I had, but it did show me that no matter how small it was, I had a community. This is an experience I have taken with me through life, and it has made me want to be better in many ways. Throughout my high school years in this same high school, I watched so many more students go through this and made every effort I could to show them that they also had a community. There are so many other spaces where LGBTQIA+ people are made to feel like less, and this is part of the reason I try to stay involved. While it made my high school years, and even a lot of the last two years, incredibly difficult, I did not have it as bad as some people do. So many people are made to feel unsafe purely because of something that is far out of their control. These are the reasons I want to be involved. I want people to know that they always have a safe space within their community, to show them that no matter how anyone else feels about it, they are safe to be them. When I volunteer, I volunteer with at-risk youth because no one should ever have to feel unsafe in their own home. I hope to give them the community I wanted so badly at their age, and a safe space to share their thoughts and feelings. One gesture of someone, who I doubt even remembers it, changed the trajectory of my life. I never expected to be a part of something this much biger than me, but I am so thankful I am.

Shows and movies have always been a huge comfort to me, as I spend a lot of time in bed due to chronic illness. There is one show in particular that I've watched three times in less than a year, and will likely watch many more. Shameless (the U.S. version) is quite possibly the best show to exist. If you have never seen this masterpiece, it is 11 seasons of real, gritty, and hard life. The premise of it is that the Gallaghers are a family of six kids that lives in extreme poverty in the south side of Chicago, with an alcoholic dead-beat dad, and a mom who not often in the picture. It's a funny show, but even further than that it shows so many real issues in our world. It, at different times, speaks on women's rights, drug addiction, alcoholism, mental health, and LGBTQ+ rights. The show is a great mix of real-life issues, with a raunchy sense of humor, and complete stupidity at times. The show emnbodies the name, "Shameless" because they truly have no shame. The family says what they think, and do what they want, all the time. They have practically raised eachother, and because of this the kids form an extremely close bond with one another, to the point where they would go along with anything for their siblings, and often times banding against their father, Frank. None of them take issue with the poverty they live in, because they live their lives, and they live them well. One of my favorite aspects of it is that every single character, with expection to Frank, has an abundant amount of character development. After all you see them from children all the way into adulthood, with exception to the youngest who is only 11 by the end of the show. Even Frank, who doesn't have much character development, is shown having major emotions time and time again. Overall as I said, the show really is shameless. The crazy family goes through eleven years worth of crazy situations, social issues, and parental problems. They do what they need to do, and get by however they need to. No matter what the family sticks together, and are there for eachother through thick in thin. They may fight like any normal family, but they are there eachothers biggest supporters, even when it comes to the oldest finally moving away. They love eachother more than anything. Even if this gets read and immediately disgarded, if you took anything away from this, i truly hope that you immediately shut your computer, and started watching Shameless (U.S.), becuase if not you are missing out on the best show ever.

After being told I couldn't be a military fighter pilot, my goals for my future were blown up. I had my entire life planned out and suddenly I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I went through all of my senior year of high school having no idea what my plan was and being stressed out about it, to my first year of college, pretty much decided. I took that first statistics class and knew immediately. They say to do what you're good at, and that is exactly what I found. Math challenges me, and while many may dislike that, I have always enjoyed it. I like to feel like I'm learning, and not when things just come easy. I plan to get a Master's in Applied Mathematics, and while I am contemplating two different fields, that is what I lean toward. I am not sure what exactly I want to be in the field yet, but I do know that I want to make a change and that there are many ways to do that in mathematics. Whether it be the statistics on a life-changing surgery, or if I end up striving to help solve real-world problems, there are ways to be a change. That being said, getting a Master's is expensive, and one of my biggest flaws is that I refuse to take financial help from friends or family who want to help, namely my mom. Money has always been something that I think about with everything, and especially in college. Winning this scholarship would help me get further into my Associate's degree, and have less to pay off in the long run. While I was raised by a single mom, we have always been in too high a tax bracket for me to get financial aid, and while that sounds like a good thing, and I'm thankful for it, it is a struggle to be barely above that line. I am paying for college myself, and am hope to end up in the least amount of debt possible. Recently I have been volunteering as a church leader for middle school girls. I understand not everyone reading this is going to be a Christian, but that is not what this is about. Over the last few months, I have watched my girls grow as people. It is so fulfilling to help my girls through their everyday walks of life. Middle school is hard, and many of them deal with mental struggles, and I love watching them come out of their shells, and admit that they have to, and can talk to people. They teach me every week that it is okay to ask for help, even if that is just someone you see once a week that you've grown close to. I never thought I would learn new things from 11-year-old girls, but here I am, and I'm so thankful to be.

As a person who has had medical issues since the age of 12, there are a few things that have stuck with me along the way. Mainly being the community of people with the same issues, and they are there to back you when you need it most. Recently I have been diagnosed with issues I've had for years, issues I never realized were as common as they are. In a moment of panic one day, during a flare-up, I went into a Longhorn Steakhouse and approached the hostess and asked for a cup of salt as I felt like I was going to pass out. I expected to get a look, or questions. The hostess looked at me and said "POTS?" I noded, gripping the countertop, and without another word, she ran off. Two minutes later she came back with a cup of salt, smiled, and walked away without another word. All she knew is one of my issues. She could have never known that I suffer with chronic joint issues, or migraines, but none of that mattered. She saw that I had an issue that she shared with me, and did what she could to fix it. People like that, and that shared community mean everything when you live with chronic pain and issues. People who can look past everything else, and will help fix the issue at hand. On a daily basis, this is not something I face, but when it does happen, it means more than these people know. Some days it may just be my best friend, who has similar issues, physiclly supporting me, and holding me up, or letting me lean on her. Others it may be more severe where we may have to leave an asmusement park or acticity, because i can't bear to walk anymore. Nonetheless, it gives me a view of humanity that i never saw before. In this world where apethy to others is the common, it shows me that that is not all there is to people. There are others that are willing ad that want to help you when you need it, and that fact really opened up my eyes over the last year. Knowing what those experiences do for me, I strive, and hopefully always will, to be that kindness for otheres. Whether it be someone with a medical issue that I relate to, or a stranger in need of help that I could never understand, I try to help, and be there. Kindness is a trait that I believe that we should all have, and while I experienced it in finding a community in others with health issues, that kindness should be available for everybody. I could go on and on about how the horrors of disease has changed my life, and it definately has, but instead of dwelling on the bad, and the pain, I prefer to use my experiences to learn a greater lesson. While it is ufortunate that I, and many others, have to deal with flare ups and chronic pain, why not use that experience to learn something? Perhaps there are other things that could be taken away from what many go through, but what I choose to learn is that kindness is deserved everywhere and to everyone.