I grew up attending small private Christian schools, both of which were diverse, with no more than 20 students per grade level. In my sophomore year, I started attending Hazelwood Central, a public school ranging from 300-400+ students per grade level, online. While Hazelwood Central was more diverse in the past, over the years it has evolved into a predominately African-American student body. After learning virtually during my sophomore year, going into my junior year in person was quite a shock. Being in a building that big was very different from my previous learning environments. However, I finally got the “high school experience”. I went to the football games, joined clubs and sports, and attempted to fit in, and I succeeded. It took me most of the year, but I finally found the people that I connected with. After being in public school for a year I felt a bit more confident in myself. I had made friends and also learned how to focus on myself when needed and accomplish my own goals, no longer afraid of being alone.
Having been a student-athlete, taken two AP classes, and maintained my position in the top 10% of my class, I felt successful and presumed that I was ahead of most of my peers. Then I was accepted into the Washington University Summer Academy program. For five weeks, I studied at a Top 20 school surrounded by people that did not look like me. I knew that WashU had a majority White and Asian student body. Still, when I walked into orientation to see that I was not only the only black girl but the only black person in my program, it became very discouraging. Knowing that black women are rarely seen or invited into prominent spaces such as this, it felt like a blessing that I was even accepted, but also very strange. I started to second guess myself and ask if I belonged. My classmates talked about their 30+ ACT scores and the 4’s and 5’s that they received on their AP tests, and the imposter syndrome began to kick in. Did I deserve to be here? Did they choose me because of my academic excellence or just to have a bit of diversity? While everyone in my program was so kind, there were recurrent times when I would ostracize myself because I believed that their kindness was just an act.
I ended up having a gratifying experience but only after I affirmed to myself that I belonged and began to regain confidence in my ability to succeed no matter the challenge. The experience not only allowed me to see what life would be like once I entered college but also allowed me to realize two things: the importance of simply believing in myself and learning to acknowledge my strengths as well as work on my weaknesses. This experience only furthered my passion to empower my community by one day starting a mental health initiative for young African-American men. I would like to provide them with the tools that they need to live a better quality of life such as group therapy sessions, media resources, and access to therapists and other mental health professionals that can assist them, all free of charge. To accomplish this, I intend to graduate high school with summa cum laude honors and go on to earn my bachelor’s of psychology at an HBCU. I also intend to minor in African - American studies or have a concentration in mental health. After this, I will go on to obtain my doctorate, hopefully, free of charge.