On my 12th birthday I went to Abuelitas house, she came to American in the 1960's with my Abuleo and 2 daughters one of them being my mother. As you can expect black women even light-skin ones, were treated horribly during this time and racism was at an all time high. My Abuelita was shown that "white was better" mostly in terms in beauty. She permed her hair, avoided the sun, and changed her Panamanian accent while working as a nurse. Years later I'm celebrating my birthday at her house and she gives me lighting cream for my skin, "your such a soft and smart girl you just need some help, trust me they treat you much better." My mother automatically got mad at my Abuelita. From the moment I was born half of my family already saw me as unworthy because of my darker skin. It was hard to feel proud or show an outfit to your family members when all they say is "it looks nice but it would be so much better if- and its always about something you cant control. For awhile I felt like I couldn't live up to expectations, I had low self esteem, and rocks in my stomach every time I had to visit my Abuelo's house. That was until I meet my dads side, they were all dark-skin and black, but they were all proud of who they were, and very energetic too. Along with the "success" my moms side kept talking about, my dads side all had great jobs. Some were clinical psychologist, others were travel managers, aerospace engineers, and served there community is so many ways over there life. My father always told me its not how I look its how I am and I wanted to be a person who could do anything they wanted to no matter what I looked like. It made me so driven to try and break all of the words my Abeulita has said to me over the years or the comparisons she would make about me to my cousins and be free or me. So if I had to tell someone how to break there situation of color-ism from peers, family members, or there community I would tell them to find a strong support system. Ones that really believe in them. Also realize that your nature features or unique to you, There are people that would wish to look like your or have the traits as you to celebrate diversity. Lastly you have to stand up, if you see someone being colorist even if its someone you love call them out and address the behavior. It was hard telling my Abeulita that she had a bad philosophy but we have a better relationship now because of it.