I. Love. Bass. Most of the time, if a song has a solid bassline, I immediately fall in love with it. This love must have seeped into my dreams one night, because the next morning, I woke up with this bassline stuck in my head. As soon as I registered what was going on, I recorded myself humming it and then put it into a transcribing program, resulting in what you hear now. This simple bassline is one of the first things I’ve ever transcribed, introducing me to a new love of mine: composition. Maybe one day I’ll turn it into a full song, making sure to amp the bass until it rumbles through my car speakers. Hope you enjoy it!

I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for years without even realizing it. Starting around middle school, I would feel numb or sad for no reason. As I grew older, these symptoms only worsened, shifting my mood between depressed and anxious without warning. Before I knew it, I barely recognized myself, morphing into a girl with no hope for the future. Eventually, I scheduled an appointment with an inspiring counselor named Coleen. After she shared some of her own challenges, I realized why we could establish such a trusting relationship: She learned to manage the same obstacles that I struggled with. Because of her personal journey to self-love, she illuminated a future in which my dark place of distrust was brightened with confidence and faith. Later on, I met Jamie--a life coach for teenagers. When I joined my first Zoom meeting, I was skeptical; if I could not have faith in myself, how could I possibly have faith in another woman? Jamie explained that self-love is “a total leap of faith,” but the end result is well worth the journey. After a few short weeks, her mentoring changed my life. Every day, I saw improvements in my self-image, even if it was only a tiny glimmer of progress. I bonded with the other girls through our shared desire to support each other, even when we couldn’t help ourselves. Eventually, I was able to escape from this suffocating depression, fostering hope and love within myself and others. These experiences have taught me the significance of self-love in a fulfilling life. If you cannot love yourself first and foremost, you cannot love others as deeply. You permanently bar yourself from enriching and lifelong connections. Looking back, I’m grateful for my experience with distrust, because it prevents me from ever returning to a place of hate. Self-care routines were how I cultivated self-love, stretching before bed or planning an entire day of pampering and relaxing. My friends could see noticeable improvement every time I did these. As odd as it sounds, I also paid special attention to how my mind feels. If my thoughts traveled slowly, I would take a break to go on a walk or drink a cold beverage. Most of the time, this foggy state of mind comes from an exhausted brain and body, signaling that I need to rest. Self-love is vital, no matter who you are. I will do everything in my power to spread this life-changing message with those who need it most, especially teenagers. Adolescence is undoubtedly the most turbulent period of people’s lives, but it’s also when people learn the most about themselves. It’s a tragedy that so many brilliant minds don’t get to see this turbulence through to the other side. As a proud member of Generation Z, it’s my goal to embolden my peers to embrace changes, not shy away. Confronting these obstacles is what fosters self-love and trust, showing the world a brilliant future of confidence, prosperity, and happiness.

Title: Where do I begin? Money...doesn’t matter anymore? How can that be? After answering so many essays about how I can turn music into a career, the “career” part isn’t that important now...that would normally mean making money out of something you’re passionate about...but without the money part, all that’s left is passion! It’s a dream come true. Where do I begin? What should I do now that I don’t have to worry about making a living…? Oh, I know! I can spend more time playing Vesuvius by Frank Ticheli! I’ve always loved the eerie destruction of it all, but I’ve been so caught up with schoolwork that I haven’t been able to absorb its atmosphere...The way the woodwinds’ sound melds into the lava flowing down the side of the volcano, then how the low brass mimics the explosions...It’s perfect. Definitely one of my favorite band pieces of all time. Maybe I’ll start up a jazz band; Up until now, I’ve just been too focused developing the skills I already have instead of learning something new. Jazz just looks like so much fun! I’d love to learn a new instrument for it...I’ve always been fascinated by the versatility of the trombone, or the unique timbre of the saxophone...the question is, which saxophone should I choose?! There’s so many options out there. There’s that part of Three Images by Joel Love that shows off all the saxophones’ beautiful sounds...What’s it called again…? That’s it--“Golden Hour!” Hearing an authentic saxophone octet play it was unlike anything I’ve heard before...When I closed my eyes, I could almost see a sunset shifting from vibrant reds and oranges into soft pinks before gently settling into the horizon. I’ll find my sister the best clarinet out there. That way, we can perform duets together whenever we want! We’ll bring our music to coffee shops with cozy audiences and gigantic venues with bold acoustics. We’ll have an entirely separate room in our house just for creating music--better yet, a separate wing! With all the free time in the world, I can mentor as many musicians as I want for as long as I want, now that lesson times aren’t a barrier. I’ll hold recitals for whoever wants to participate, no matter the age, background, instrument, or amount of experience. We’ll transform a simple room into a space of pure expression, with support, creativity, and energy bursting from the seams. We’ll have all the sheet music and recording equipment in the world at our fingertips! I can learn and relearn as many pieces as I want! It’s been so long since I’ve worked on “Doctor Gradus ad Parnassum” from The Children’s Corner, even though it’s one of my favorite pieces to play on the piano...same with Clair de Lune...and Rêverie...Even now, it puzzles me why I haven’t taken the time to really dig into my favorite pieces...Debussy’s style is just so melodic and free-flowing...If only I could meet him myself! We’d have so many interesting conversations about piano pedagogy and the Romantic era of music. We’d exchange intricate stories about life back then as well as life right now. I just need to finish learning French first! There are so many exciting ways I can spend my time that I’ve never been able to do before...I just can’t wait to get started!

Do the unexpected.

With each piece of clutter I was removing from our tiny garage, my heart beat a little faster. My sister had lent me her ponytail holder, and I had lost it without knowing the total repercussions of my actions. I sifted through my clothes, crept through the kitchen, and dumped the contents of my bathroom drawer onto the tile floor. It's nowhere to be found. I am nearly ready to resign, imagining myself delivering the news to my sister with deep melancholy in my voice. I can only imagine the regret, distrust, and sadness that would be plastered on her face. If only it were another ponytail holder that I had lost; my sister would've been mildly irritated at worst, wholly indifferent at best. However, this wasn't just any ponytail holder; it was the last ponytail holder my father had given her before he'd passed away. As young teenage girls, this event emotionally scarred us, and every little souvenir of our adventures from our framed photos of Christmas vacations to the tiniest Japanese candy became precious. I had temporarily lost one of those artifacts and was heartbroken for the missing memory. Still, although the image of my jolly, encouraging father was a powerful force pushing me forward, he was not the only source of strength in my heart; throughout my search, I never lost sight of the Lord and His kindness. The moment I lost that ponytail holder, not a second passed where I was not uttering a mental prayer and reasserting my trust in Jesus. I asked Him for guidance, pleading for some piece of knowledge that could help me in my search. I reasoned through the worst-case scenarios with Him, assuring myself that if I could not find the ponytail holder tonight, I would find it another night, and my sister would simply have to rely on her patience until then. This fragment of positivity was the result of many weeks of praying, hoping, and trusting in the Lord. Yet, just a few months ago, I would not (or could not) have shown this same optimism. After losing my dad, I was angry with Jesus. For a time, my relationship with Him was almost nonexistent, clouded with my deep-rooted feelings of grief, shame, and confusion. I didn’t understand the reason for my dad passing nor was I looking for it; in fact, I intentionally avoided speaking to Jesus for weeks on end. Still, when I finally opened my heart back up to Him, I began to see the tiny blessings in my life again. I acknowledged that the Lord accepted my father into Heaven according to His predetermined plan, allowing my dad to leave the earth when the time was just right. Jesus reminded me to place my anxieties and grievances on Him, and as I continued to pray, I gradually gained more comfort and closure. He assured me that my father was in Heaven by Jesus’s side. Ever since that life-changing period of my life, I have been willfully relying on Jesus for inner peace while cultivating my much-needed relationship with Him. Finally, I remember one place I haven't looked for the ponytail holder--under the couch cushions. I’m flooded with relief as I hand my sister the precious item before flopping into bed at midnight. Please bless this house with a restful night of sleep, Lord. In your name I pray, Amen.