Being able become the person I aspire to be brings me joy. Since I have been in college I have been working and being in school nonstop I kinda forgot who I was and what my goals were when I was try to get through my first two years done to transfer. Enjoying that I am a college student, while working a part time job, living home then when I transfer I go live on campus, taking step by step, day by day is what I enjoy. Realizing that I am doing the most and all I can do and much more and just enjoy my position while I’m getting better and gaining the success I aim to get. As people say “I will enjoy life when…” when really it is in the moment, I aspire my college life, working life, social life, and family life, it all interwinds with each other and that’s what makes it a whole and I enjoy it all.

When I first entered college, I knew my intentions and what I wanted to do but I was still lost of how of things worked once I graduated high school and I have not started school yet but I knew that I needed to get myself a job and start to work for my supplies and things like that. But when I started to go to school and take my major classes I got a better understanding of how some things are the way they are. In society everyone has a role they belong to and makes the best of it, and the way I have understood in my education is that not everything is made for everyone. Other wise we would live in world with too many leaders and have no one to lead, or too many followers but no one to lead. Which that is good other wise how someone stand out in their success if everyone is the same. Another is that certain things are made to have a discussion to look at different point views to understand one another, and in the end we are suppose to acknowledge that is it just a discussion that was made to make different solutions. Example, in the political and government world, there are numerous topics that can be discussed and easily start an argument. The point of having politics is to understand different theories and parties and look of what is the best solution and let the society vote, based on our government. Now there are some things that brought in the government that should not be in the government either, but also it is a thing that is suppose to protect and not be against us, otherwise what is the purpose of having laws and amendments? What happens when someone did a crime that was brutal, but there was so system to held them accountable? Not saying the system is perfect either, but the government tends to change based on the next generation because the government is there for the people, not themselves. Other wise who would the government lead? Themselves? That is impossible, that is like the blind leading the blind. Based on that, I have learned is that if we would want change we would need people to educate and acknowledge that there are always solutions and infact the government wants to change because society now is not the same as a century ago. The things I have learned so far is to discuss, comprise, acknowledge, and unite. Very important for society and even as a an individual to live by.

"Be at peace, not needing to relax or not needing to be happy all the time." It's different of feeling the need to feel a certain way would stress me out even more because I would feel to stop feeling a certain just to not get myself so worked up over something I cannot control. But being at peace and accepting things are the way they are whether it is a positive or negative thing its always good to have both. Without the ups and downs would not appreciate the things we love the way we do, or that we would not have something that would keep us going either. Just like everything else it is important and good that we have that balance, but it's important to remind yourself that to be at peace no matter what are the outcomes are. We can should feel those emotions, but once done remind to be at peace and move on.

Being in control of myself mentally and phsycially. Especially exercising is what truly makes me happiest because I see results within my own body and the feeling of almost being at my body goal is an amazing feeling. The fact I feel more comfortable of my body and mind more is something I never thought I would achieve, but lately that has been changing for me, and that is something that is a genuine happy, too. Because I feel the control I have for myself I feel the difference of my mood and attitude and not needing to overthink too much about certain things like I would do in the past. Moving different, genuine satisfaction, just a feeling like a puzzle of coming together after having that stress feeling of whether it will or not of the things you plan will fall through and come together.

When my cousin asked if I wanted to go get a snack and we both decided to go to a book store, and after the amount of work and studying I have been doing, it was much needed. It was the best outing I had in a long time, too. We went picked up food, played songs we both loved and jammed on the way to the Grove, just to go Barnes and Noble because she preferred that one. Walked around and enjoying the theatre, waterfountain, and the stores was a must.

The most inspiring book is actually a new one I just bought and it was "F**kit Be at Peace with Life Just As It Is." I cared so much of how I will look for others for school, work, and social life whereas I make decisions on more if I looked better if did something else rather than something that'll benefit me or something for my interest. And I have changed where I am finally able to put myself first on almost every situation, but I still have something that either holds me back or I do it for someone else's satisfaction where it won't affect anyone but me. Sometimes I do need to say forget it and do what I need or want to do, and it's hard when I am also worrying about how the other person would feel or think all the time when truthfully they probably don't even care that much or they won't even notice. Also I cannot let my school and work control my life, yes it is important to make good decisions in those criteria but I cannot let it control my lifestyle either. I am learning to balance everything out as I get older and each day I am realizing that sometimes I have to forget it and just be at peace within myself and life.

There are honestly a few educators that have made a positive impact in my life I would want to mention two of them. The first one was my 7th grade science teacher, he would always tell me that I was one of the students that is meant to lead, that i was a "leader" but I need to learn to speak up more. I never believed him and never knew what he meant until this year, it took me eight years to finally realize what he meant and that is because now I am part a junior council,I am leading it, and part of the internship and I am so active that as well. That has stuck by me since that year he kept telling me that and I refused to believe that this whole time because I am the type of person that hates the attention, I hate presenting, being the speaker, in front of the class. But now I am a presenter, speaker, and being way more vocal than before. Another teacher was similar was my high school English teacher for 11th grade. I had a hard time of presenting and writing papers. Even though I love doing debates, I had a hard time talking infornt of the class and people. I had everything thought out and written of how I'll say it, what evidence I'll be using, and other things like that. She told me since I am a talkative person I should not have a problem of writing papers nor talking infornt of others especially I would always talk in a group in class. So that would not make sense she would tell me that I think about it too much because of the amount of eyes that are on me. I know these are the most simplified advice that has been given to me, but it makes a huge impact on my decisions and still to this day. It has driven me and helped me pushed for the better in college because when I started my first job I stated college at the same time but I would remind myself of what I am capable of or when I had to speak in front of people I reminded myself people attended to that to hear what I have to say and that don't be intimidated by them. Sometimes simple is better especially for someone that always have complex life. This is what drove me to go to college, to become the lawyer I aspire to be and hopefully one day I make a positive impact on someones life the same way they did for me. Honestly that is truly inspiring because I could still go to college and have no driven, motivation to make something or someone of myself. It's more of you define college, college doesn't define you because it's really all about how you make it.

Being indpedent is where you get to be your own person and control your lifestyle and schedule. I've indpedent since I started college, finance and personal wise, because I am not the only child and I thought it would give my parents peace of mind that they don't need to help me with school finances and personal finances and other things; since I was used having that help and guidance it was a very hard thing for me. I got my first job the same day I started my first day of college and that was the worst and best thing for me because that job taught me that time is precious and time management is very important for me (personal, school, studying, and work-wise). After a few years now I have finally got the hang of it and realized being independent and being control is amazing but tough, because I have to take more classes to get ready to transfer I have to reduce my work hours and have to figure out my finances of what I can and can't for school. I needed help a lot with my transfer requirement classes and I would always freak out of what takes to take and what not to take, and my sister would help me each semester until I finally got the hang of what is important to take first then take the others later also to correlate with my work schedule as well. I still do want/need guidance for school and career wise because that is something that I still need to learn of how to achieve my best.

The pandemic had its negative and positives, the negative was overworking at first as a cashier. Even though I was in school I was working long hours that started to affect me where I developed an eating disorder and had physical pain from my back and feet; and most of my professors thought I did not have a job either so sometimes it was hard to complete somethings. The positives was that I was able to get my things together of becoming the person I am today. I am healthy, active, organized, and stiving for the better. Even though I know not everything is definite I learned that either way of the outcome I can make it work just with some adjustments that would not hurt. And I love that for me, it took handful for me to push myself when I was really doubting myself and my school. The pandemic also taught me once I leave one negative situation that was holding me back, so many more opportunities was behind that door. I just had to push myself and not anxious all the time.