Mental health is a a vital part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Mental health is just as important as physical health. I have strived to maintain my mental health despite years of mental abuse from a former spouse. I did not realize that it was happening for decades until the bottom finally came out. Losing my mental health for a short time evidenced to me that one cannot simply pull one's self up by the boot straps during all situations. Self care in terms of getting proper sleep and eating well are essential. Additionally, knowing who to distance yourself from mental abusers is a challenge as describing mental abuse situations is challenging to explain to others. Additionally, it can be easy to sweep mental health under the rug so one can continue to serve others around them while forgoing their own needs. I did this on repeat for over two decades. This past summer, I realized what was happening and am rebuilding my life. I am currently a PhD student at Liberty University. Part of the reason why I took on the doctoral program was to enhance my knowledge base, participate in research that would better humanity, but also to distract from the mental abuse that was happening in my own situation. The abuser being gone is peaceful, moreover, their absence presents financial challenges that I am hoping this scholarship can help me achieve my PhD endeavor. I advocate for mental health in my community as I am an art educator of more than twenty years. Now that my circumstances have changed, I am hoping to receive rather than give as I am only five classes away from achieving my PhD. I have chapters two and three of my dissertation drafts complete. I am doing my best to keep life's road bumps from affecting my three children and I. I feel like it would be a wonderful example to be able to achieve my PhD as a form of encouragement to my own children, as well as my students. I have always striven to be a positive example for my students and family. I am active in my community artistically as well. I currently have my art on display at the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh, North Carolina. It is a painting of the Iredell County Fair and the exhibition is called the Creative Lives of Educators Exhibition. Prior to this showing, I also was able to exhibit my painting of my daughter at the Mint Museum in Charlotte, North Carolina. This painting holds special meaning to me as I originally snapped the picture when we climbed the top of Rocky Face mountain with her Cub Scout troop. This was a pivotal hike for her as at the onset of the hike she tripped and fell, hurting her arms. The bandages are evidenced in the painting. She was ready to quit and go home. Rather, I supported her feelings to leave if that was her desire, moreover, I encouraged her to continue the hike with her fellow scout mates. I knew that if she didn't participate, she would quit the scouts over all and allowing one rough moment to stop her from doing something she enjoys isn't a good note to end on. Her bandaids in the painting and subsequent field picture I snapped serve as encouragement to me to continue despite the unanticipated setbacks of late. Thank you for taking the time to read this essay. If you wish to see the images and other artworks I would love to have a discussion.

My brother Gary Bonnas is active in the Air Force. He is currently in Italy with his family at Aveano Air Base. He has been in the military for over a decade. As his big sister, I noticed when he was at Lackland Air Force Base in 2011 the military gave him direction I felt that he needed. I remember when he was at basic and he sent a picture of his socks neatly folded and his trunk in order, I was floored. Over the past decade I've noticed that he has increased in structure and mental fortitude and I'm grateful to see his growth. In the past decade he met his wife while he was stationed at Spangdahlem Air Force Base in Germany, and brought my niece Maddie in the world. He is currently expecting his second child in the next few months and I could't be happier for them. One thing that my little brother taught me is patience and maintaining a positive spirit when we were kids. He was always singing and joyful while we were growing up. Gary maintained this positive demeanor into adulthood and Maddie always looks to her daddy for a good laugh. I am appreciative of what he taught me. As a doctoral candidate, my family's influence, including my brother, affects my research philosophy on an axiological level. I am pleased that my brother's positivity and joy has influenced my epistemological standpoints as my research and dissertation topics allows me to help society through my hermeneutic phenomenological study for the betterment of my community in my field of education. Also, as a Buffalo Bills backing family, Gary's commitment to loving the team is an example of loyalty. Regardless of the differences in our career fields between my brother and I, it is obvious that all of humanity affects each other. I am appreciative of his service to our country and sacrifice of his time and energies. We are expecting him to have a deployment soon after his son is born. We are grateful that he will have the time to meet his son before he goes. He is a committed father to his wife and children and that is something to admire. When he returns to Aveano Air Force Base his son and daughter will have grown significantly. That is true sacrifice for one's country. This kind of sacrifice is to be honored, appreciated, and looked up to, and I am happy to call Technical Sergeant Gary Bonnas my brother.

Seeing as I am new to single-parenthood, I would say that co-parenting is the hardest part I have noticed thus far. Moreover, the financial aspect of trying to house, feed, transport my children and I is rough. That said, while there isn't much in the way of financial peace, there is at least finally emotional peace. Utilizing my mental bandwidth for only my children and I now, allows me to do so much more than I was capable of while in a marriage. While it is unfortunate that our home broke, I did my best to help my ex-husband mentally over the course of twenty three years, unsuccessfully, but I tried. Now, I am able to input into my doctoral studies and artistic pursuits on a professional level and I am grateful for the experience. My art work was recently chosen for display at the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh and hangs in the "Creative Lives of Educators" exhibit. As a member of the Guild of Charlotte Artists, I exhibited one of my oil paintings at the "Guilding the Mint" show in May of 2025 at the Mint Museum on North Tryon Street. My relationship with the Charlotte art scene has grown increasingly over the last few years and has been a steady source of inspiration, support, and connection. Art has always been a bridge for communication and sparks personal connection around me. Working with processes and materials, and pushing my myself artistically has allowed me to maintain my mental and physical health. I hope my work inspires others to stay the course and walk the path the Lord has set for us, even in times of adversity. As an educator, I have been a member of the North Carolina Association of Educators for over twenty years and continue to support my students in their efforts to strive for artistic and academic success and pursuits. My goal is to do the same for my children. My twins are about to make a high school decision in the next month or so and each have different needs for guidance. My youngest is still in elementary school and my goal for her, and the twins is to ensure that all three children are able to choose a college experience if that is what best suits them. I obtained my masters degree in 2008 and started my PhD journey in 2000 after reading Ruby M. Payne's (2019) book on poverty which I found eye opening. Her book explained so many of the choices made by my students and even members of my family over the years. Payne inspired my PhD journey which I am so close to the end of. With only five courses left it is a challenge to continue the doctoral degree now that I am down to only my income. But I must persist despite the challenges I am facing. I need to do this not only for myself, however, I also need to do this for my children. They need to see an example of strength and have at least one solid parent they can rely on in times of trouble. My children and my students are paramount to my rationale on continuing my educational and artistic pursuits.