When I lost my father in 2014 at the age of six, it was an incredibly traumatic event that caused a series of twists and turns throughout my life. I was unable to express myself or get any pent up emotions out. Losing my dad affected me because I was suddenly thrust into this world of grief, with very little help. Six year olds aren't supposed to have their dads die. Because of the circumstances of my loss, I had very little help on my grief journey for a while. Before he died, I used to watch the show 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' with my parents. I told them I wanted to ride horses and to my surprise, they signed me up for a riding camp in the DC area. The camp was set to start in June, yet a cold February day turned an excited, happy, sweet little girl into a silent, reserved, and solitary child. When June rolled around, I was still hesitant to talk about my loss, and wanted to simply stay in my room, read, and sleep. I didn't want to experience anything new, or do anything out of my comfort zone. My mom encouraged me to try the camp for a day and see how it felt. I decided to go, just to make my mom happy. I got to the stables, and was astounded by how much I felt I fit in in the equestrian community. I cried in the car on the way home because I didn't want to leave so badly. I realized the connection I felt with the animals as I rode. Horseback riding is not about control of the horse. It's about partnership to achieve the goal of the rider. It's about the connection between the horse and rider. Whether you ride western or english, do dressage, hunter/jumping, cross country, rodeos, racing, or any other form of riding, it's about the connection. And while riding, I felt a connection I had never experienced before in my life. It sort of "filled a gap" in my heart that was created when my dad passed away. Through the challenges of grief- anger, frustration, sadness, depression, guilt, confusion, lethargy, reflection, and so much more- I always find myself back at the barn and riding. During the pandemic, I had an incredibly difficult time with my mental health- as most teens did- but it was augmented by the loss I had already experienced with my dad, and it caused a lot of feelings that were similar to my grief from when I was younger. My mom would take me to the barn nearly every day so I could ride, and take my mind off of the challenges I was facing, as well as allowing me to enjoy something I was passionate about. In the future, I would love to become an equestrian athlete as well as an advocate for mental health. I want to open a barn or organization that aids people with mental health issues or similar issues where children, teens, adults, and seniors alike can come and ride. I found riding to be an incredible coping mechanism when my dad died, and I want to share that with others.