Hope, a four-letter word with so much power, it could change the world. Without it, you may trip up and fall but with it you can conquer it all. The loss of my father was traumatic—an incident I would never forget throughout my life. Watching him battle a terminal illness was a great source of overwhelming grief and pain. I felt myself swimming in a sea of emotions I had never faced before. There is a culture of silence regarding mental health in the Black community. Issues of feelings, especially intensely sad and anxious feelings, are dismissed as crazy. This cultural background made it so difficult to talk about what I was going through, fearing judgment and not understanding.
For a long time, I thought I was being strong by handling my grief in silence. I believed I had to hide my feelings to have some respect for my father's memory; he would not view me as weak. I did not know I was only adding to my hurt. This was to affect my relationships with my family and friends. I would become withdrawn, irritable, and disconnected from people who loved me. It was like erecting a wall between me and the world that closed out the world as I isolated myself from suffering.
I came to realize that I could not keep on going this way—the inner turmoil was reflecting in every way in my life, in academics, my friendships, and my everyday life enjoyments. So, at this point, I decided to break the silence and reach out, cutting off the cultural taboo that had bound me in bonds for a long time. Reaching out for the first time was equally terrifying and liberating, though. I had to unlearn years of ingrained beliefs about mental health and allow myself to be vulnerable.
Therapy gave me a space to make sense of my grief and the messy feelings that came with it. It taught me that getting help was not a weakness but a bold step toward healing. This insight very much changed my perception of mental health—it made mental health a core issue, not some sideline issue. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and dealing with it is key to being able to live a fulfilled life.
Once my perspective changed, so did my relationships. That is, the more open I became about the issues that I was struggling with, the more open other people were to share their own stories with me. Mutual vulnerability in turn made my relationships with my family and friends stronger. I have also increased my advocacy for mental health within my community by shedding light on the stigma and encouraging others to seek help. I have shared my story so that a conversation on mental health could be normalized and people can realize that it is okay not to be okay and to ask for support.
Secondly, my experiences with mental health have also greatly influenced my career goals. I have wanted to become a doctor from a very young age due to my general interest in medicine and the urge to help people. However, my personal experience has taken this ambition a notch higher for me. Currently, I am particularly interested in reducing mental health disparities, especially in the Black community. I want to be a doctor who is capable of treating physical ailments but who understands and addresses the mental health needs of my patients.
In sum, my experience with mental health played a heavy hand in shaping my beliefs, relationships, and career aspirations. The end of my father's life due to stage four colon cancer was a catalyst that ultimately forced me to confront my mental health challenges. Overcoming the cultural stigma of being Black and dealing with mental health was a hard but necessary part of my healing process. This journey not only has taught me about the value of mental health but also inspired me to be a doctor advocating for this cause. Sharing my story and supporting others, I aspire to contribute to a future where mental health is openly discussed and made a priority, improving the well-being of everyone.
In sum, my experience with mental health played a heavy hand in shaping my beliefs, relationships, and career aspirations. My father's life with stage four colon cancer was a catalyst that ultimately forced me to confront my mental health challenges. Overcoming the cultural stigma of being Black and dealing with mental health was a hard but necessary part of my healing process. This journey not only has taught me about the value of mental health but also inspired me to be a doctor.