“Chlo-Bo, is this you?”
Lucy’s mom points to a picture on her laptop.
My heart beats faster.
I move closer to the screen, nervously anticipating what I might see.
Please don’t be the Party City ad…please don’t be the Party City ad…PLEASE don’t be the Party City ad!
Sure enough, a tiny depiction of Frozen’s Anna - green dress, intricate red braid, snowman friend and all - is staring back at me.
It’s the Party City ad.
And it’s definitely me.
Lucy and her mom erupt in laughter as my cheeks flush a shade of red akin to a cooked lobster.
When I was younger, my first priorities were my Barbies, my goldendoodle, Norman, and acting (which, yes, every once in a while led to a gig posing in a princess dress). Over time, however, these interests were overshadowed by the thing that mattered most to me: academic perfection.
In elementary and middle school, I made it my mission to get a 100 on every spelling test, win the annual Geography Bee, and master my multiplication tables. The lighthearted playfulness that had fueled my childhood creative pursuits was replaced by an insatiable drive to be a serious student. By the time I got to high school, I clung harder to that image, spending my summers memorizing the first five chapters of my textbooks.
Admittedly, a grade under a 100, a less than perfect evaluation, and yes, even a “cute” image of me as a Disney snow princess felt like a threat to my perfectionism.
By junior year, it became apparent the flawless report cards and honor society inductions did not leave me fulfilled.
One day, while staring at a familiar quote on my English teacher’s whiteboard - True or False: If you try your best you will succeed - I had something of an epiphany. For years, my life was organized around that simple principle – try hard and succeed – but, I wondered if I had been taking it too far. I realized that directing all of my efforts towards being infallible made me terrified to take risks. I wondered if I needed to loosen my grip…if I needed to, in the words of that other Disney snow princess, “Let It Go.”
I began looking outward rather than inward, redirecting my focus to my community.
I started teaching swim lessons to kids who face mental and physical challenges. In the pool, wearing my one-piece Speedo, with my hair in a wet messy bun, I didn’t think once about my image. The kids didn’t care what my class rank was and neither did I. I was in the moment – laughing, cheering them on, and feeling so grateful that I could make a difference. Expanding my focus to serving others provided balance and gave my life more dimension.
I began volunteering as a docent at a nearby science museum to further my knowledge in engineering and was selected to help at my local hospital. I help transport people in wheelchairs to their rooms and deliver flowers to patients. I was also granted the opportunity to serve as the head of my Environmental Club project in which we are working to collect 500 pounds of plastic throughout our community as a part of a national organization’s (TREX) challenge.
These relationships and opportunities created the new rubric for my life, one where my external impact matters more than my personal accomplishments.
Ultimately, the themes surrounding my life can be applied to anyone, anywhere. It doesn't matter what generation you are. Everyone has anxiety, everyone has goals, and everyone is passionate about their own desires.
I personally aspire to become an engineer.
I admire the endless opportunities for creativity, ability to make a positive impact on the world, and potential for mastering problem solving skills through engineering. To me, the field would facilitate my power to make a difference and leave a lasting impact on society. I would love to use my own unique ideas to build things that can solve real-world problems. Namely, I hope to develop sustainable energy solutions, design efficient transportation systems, and create innovative medical devices.
I do not think previous generations sought to destroy the Earth. I think they wanted to create a society where everyone could thrive. While the negative effects cannot be ignored, I think I can apply their positive mindset to my future. While I hope to contribute to the efforts reducing climate change, but I want to prioritize creating an efficient society conducive to success at the same time.
We need to be mindful of the impacts of our technological advancements, but no one can go through a day in society with a phone, car, or article of clothing while complaining about climate change. The production of every good contributes to this mess, but we depend on it.
Now we know. Now we can make changes.
I want to create technological advancements that are mindful of the environment, but I am not accusatory of previous generations who may not have understood the magnitude of their actions.
Today, I embrace the complexities and contradictions of who I am. I can celebrate both the Anna and AP Scholar versions of me as equal contributors to the person I’ve become. I have begun my efforts to leave a lasting impact within my community. I was granted the opportunity to serve as the head of my Environmental Club project in which we are working to collect 500 pounds of plastic throughout our community as a part of a national organization’s (TREX) challenge. I appreciate the efforts of previous generations, and I hope to "edit" them, so society can thrive with the Earth in mind.