The mental health challenges that I have faced have made me the human I am today. I have been influenced by mental health in many different ways throughout my life. As an adolescent, I self-medicated using alcohol, methamphetamine, and heroin. A lot of times in society we stigmatize drug abuse and mental health issues. They often go hand-in-hand. I looked back at situations that I am so fortunate to have made it out alive to be here today and I have often thought and wondered why I made the choices I had made. This is now clear to me. By 17 years old, I went to rehab. At 24 years old, today, I have been clean ever since. What I came to realize through many therapists, psychotherapy, immense struggles with PTSD and panic disorder, and depression was that I have had standing mental health issues since I was younger. I did not want to admit this for a long time to myself due to my preconceived idea that anybody struggling is weak. I never wanted to be perceived as weak due to having overcome so many obstacles in my life. I shifted this belief system two years ago when I believe my true healing journey began. I did not grow up in a healthy home, so on top of the substance abuse and mental health struggles I found myself in abusive relationships in my young adult life. I finally broke free from everything that was holding me back in 2022. I left everybody and everything I knew and moved two states away by myself. In hindsight, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever done in my life. Despite the financial and emotional struggles of a decision like this, I began a journey of healing through forging new relationships, a harder work ethic than I have ever had to have to survive, getting long-term therapy once I was finally in safety, going back to high school and getting my diploma, and being a first-generation college student in my family doing it all by myself! I am so proud of myself, and I could not have been where I am today without the help of the people I have met along this new journey and my cohort at college as well as my professors. I am studying chemical dependency and I will be a mental health counselor when I graduate. I never anticipated having the opportunity to give back to the community and I am so excited for what the future holds. I am very grateful for scholarships, such as this one that allow me a vulnerable space to share about my background. In the bigger scope of scholarships like this, I appreciate an environment to celebrate the growth that people who struggle with mental health go through to get into college . Thank you for getting to know about me and offering a shame free environment advocating for mental health.

I believe that creativity is the true breeding ground for happiness! Through every difficult time I have faced I have found myself doing different art projects to ease pain. I want to share a story that once got me in trouble at home but I now look back at it and smile thinking about how much creativity has always been a safe space for me. At age 12, I had just had a huge loss in my family and as a result, I felt pretty lost myself. I spent weeks every day that I got home from school, painting the walls in my room with hundreds of designs and words that correlated with how I was feeling. My dad was a single dad and came home one day from his extremely long workdays and knocked on my door. My heart sank because how do you hide paint on the walls when they are covering every inch of them? I opened my door, and he calmly asked “What happened in here?”. He wasn’t upset and didn’t make me paint over it. I was so relieved. My dad always encouraged my creative freedom. Fast forward to one of the darkest times in my life when I was 16 years old. I was on methamphetamine and heroin and was a runaway. There were times when I was homeless, and as you can imagine, there were moments when I had nearly lost hope. And on my 17th birthday, I was alone, scared, and still on hard drugs. I remember crying for what felt like hours and then I picked up a paintbrush and started painting, three different pictures. One was a hand reaching out to another hand, one was an alien made of cigarette ash, and another one was a phoenix. After spending all night working on those paintings, and I guess you could call the one made out of Ash “smudge art”, I felt at peace. As awful of a time I felt I was having art pulled me through a lot of difficult times. Three months after this I joined therapy and a rehabilitation center. Some of my fondest memories of recovery involved being able to express the darkest parts of myself in a beautiful way that didn’t harm me or anybody else around me. I am now age 23, moved away from where I grew up to start a family and enrolled in college! A lot of people joked that my house looks like a strange art exhibit and I couldn’t be happier at a compliment like that. I have stained the furniture, painted numerous canvases, and even take furniture from the side of the road, repaint it, and put it back on the road. I did paint pour over my coffee table and every time I look at it I feel peace. I am currently in school for human services and chemical dependency to help children who grew up similarly to me. I am as passionate about my degree program, as I am about spreading my love and passion of art. I am so grateful that the scope of scholarships goes past academics and sports, as I am not great at those. I have maintained a 3.8 GPA in college and I am well aware that what has gotten me through the long nights of studying is taking breaks to paint coffee, mugs, and coffee tins as well as anything else I see that isn’t full of art in the house. Thank you for taking the time to read about my creative mess of a brain and for this opportunity.

Hello, my name is Chloe. Mental health is a pivotal part of all of our lives, including my own. I have made it my life‘s mission to help those around me struggling with mental health and related issues. I believe mental health is important because I understand the impact that poor mental health can have on someone. I struggle with panic disorder and depression, stemming from my PTSD. I often look back at when I was younger, and not diagnosed or exhibiting physical and mental symptoms of these struggles. When I think back to this time, I think about how many things are, I took for granted in great mental health such as enjoying a walk without having festering thoughts of everything that can go wrong in the day or breathing in air without thinking about it consciously. There are so many more facets to the rabbit, holes gone down in poor mental health like regret and hopelessness not though I often feel I push through. I am in school getting a degree in chemical dependency. Often mental health and dependency run hand-in-hand. It’s an awful mix, but it is all too common. I grew up around both people who struggled with mental illness, as well as dependency problems. As I’m writing this, my mother is in the hospital in a coma due to dependency. It has made me reflect on my education, past, and life goals. It has been an unfortunate reminder of what happens when people do not take care of their mental health. I maintain my mental wellness in many ways even through the struggles I face with them. I do art all of the time. I paint, I draw, and I even find free furniture on the side of the road to repaint it and put it back on the road. I have two kittens that I rescued that have surprisingly helped immensely with my anxieties. I reach out to people for support which is something that I’ve always struggled doing. It turns out there are so many wonderful people in the world who want to help others. It has been a beautiful thing to connect with these people. I no longer wait for good things to happen. I create them. I value every minute I get to spend with those I care about, and I have been working on changing my mindset from when the next she was going to drop to how could I make today a better day. I have gone to therapy for a very long time now and continue to work on my mental wellness daily (even though quite honestly, I dread it many of those days). Mental health is a battle that cannot be fought alone. Thank you for creating a space for me to talk about. Some things so vulnerable to me and for creating opportunities for those of us who consciously work on something for ourselves and those around us that can feel shameful at times. I am grateful for this opportunity, and for your consideration.

Hello, my name is Chloe. I resonated with many things I read about Trevor. I was also born and raised in Southern California, and I also have struggled severely with mental health. Firstly, I want to honor him for a moment before getting to anything about myself. It is heartwarming to read about the things that he did for our community despite the struggles he was battling inside. He and so many others are taken far too soon from mental health struggles. I am a first-generation high school and college student in school for Human Services and chemical dependency. This degree has been a neat and emotional experience so far. Many of my classes surround mental health advocacy, and the emotional turmoil, our communities face, when they are struggling Deep down inside and do not realize that there are resources and community members who want to help. I have struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember and this was my push to join the degree program that I ended up enrolling in. I grew up around a lot of dependency problems and abuse. For a very long time, I blamed the circumstances I was struggling with. One of the most liberating things I have ever done for myself, or my education is getting help and connections to resources. The amount of people out there who have shown me kindness when I asked for help is astounding. There have been many times in my life when I felt hopeless and was depressed and ready to give up on my life. To be frank, there have been times when I have tried. I am diagnosed with PTSD, and as discouraging as the physical and mental effects of that can be the day today, I believe that one day with work and support. I will have the life that I imagine as my dream life. I would be dishonest if I said that my mental health is great currently. I still struggle with panic attacks from my childhood And past dependency problems and depression from the people that I lost along the way. Though these are all factors, I now see that they do not define me or the path to where I’m headed. My singular goal in life is to help other people. Whether they grew up like me in an abusive upbringing, or they have an amazing family at home, and they are struggling in some cases more silently because people don’t understand that mental health does not discriminate, or for the children and teenagers of this world, who need a reminder that it will be OK one day. I am educating myself For firstly myself, but secondly, to make an impact on our communities. I greatly appreciate you sharing Trever's story. I am grateful for the opportunity to share mine. Thank you for considering me and offering opportunities in this area that can feel very shameful; mental health.

Hello, my name is Chloe. What an awesome scholarship opportunity! I want to share a little bit about my background in sports and academics to offer further insight into why I would not consider myself eligible for scholarships in those realms. I participated in sports when I was very young. I was disappointed when I was not accepted onto high school sports teams. I had worked so hard and won several of awards when I was a preteen, but without consistent practice, and coaching, I did not meet the mark for high school. Academically, I also struggled a lot. It wasn’t until I went back to school as an adult that I finally got a great GPA. However, there are many things that I enjoy doing that I would say I excel at. Two of these things are art and reading. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the scholarship for reading tarot because it is a huge part of my life. I have a very eclectic taste whether be in my clothing, home decor, art, movie taste, or reading. One of my favorite facets of tarot is the artistry on each card. It is beautiful and each deck is so unique. As humorous as I feel saying this, I resonate most with “The Fool” card. We put a very negative connotation on the word fool, when, in truth, one foolish decision can lead us to a better path. As it pertains to the card's meaning, I resonate with the feeling of a new journey in so many chapters of my life that I have lived. I approach life as an adventure to be lived much like the card of the fool. I turn new stones for the betterment of my life regardless of the fear that many other people may have been doing so. I believe in experiencing life to the fullest, and that life is a vast opportunity for 1 million paths we can take and continue to fine-tune. I am an undergraduate student who would not be in school without having taken risks and chances continuously. I am so proud of what I have achieved thus far, and would not have obtained the amount of knowledge and life experiences I have, without being a fool a couple of times, and I’m OK with that. Thank you for a unique opportunity, for considering me, and for reading about my views and background.

The foster care system is a difficult topic to open up about, and I appreciate an opportunity to be able to do so through this scholarship. I grew up with a drug and alcohol-dependent mother, which had a pretty huge impact on my upbringing as a whole. I have two siblings. My older sister was put into the foster care system at the age of 14. She struggles with many mental disabilities, and the ailments that our mother was struggling with were not helpful to this. I remember having CPS at our house quite a bit during our upbringing. In hindsight, it was traumatic and defeating to be asked the same questions about safety and health. At the time, it was typical and my siblings and I were unaware that how we were growing up was dysfunctional. It was very hard when my sister was sent away to the foster care system. I knew she was struggling and didn’t have the resources that she needed to succeed. My younger brother was put into a group home by 15 years old, and as an adult has now opened up about how many traumas were associated with this placement. As for myself, I am now getting a degree in human services and chemical dependency. My educational path was something that felt daunting and impossible for many years. I am the first of my siblings to go back to high school and graduate. I struggle with feeling guilty; a sort of survivor guilt given how we grew up. I graduated high school five years later with honors, and now I am on the same path in college. I am doing very well and I want to eventually get a PhD so I can help others who grew up similarly to me and my siblings. The foster care system can feel like a never-ending void for so many children. Our most vulnerable population is our children so when you compile that with a child growing up in the system, they need all the help they can get. I plan to use my degree to give back to our community. I am so grateful for scholarships like this one because you don’t anticipate as a child, growing up in tough circumstances that there are people who will acknowledge and admire you for the adversity that you faced. It feels shameful as a child. I am grateful and hopeful for my future. I appreciate you taking the time to learn about me and my background, and being a safe space for me to talk about difficult subjects.

Hello, my name is Chloe and I have numerous family members that have served in the military, including my current partner. My great-grandfather served in World War II in the Air Force. He didn’t speak about it much as there were many different aspects to the military during the 30s and 40s. As a result of, fortunately, coming home safely, my family grew up with him and his wife having four children. My great-grandmother often spoke about when he was on deployment. She was so proud of him for serving our country and he was so proud of her for holding down the fort at home. I have never seen two people more in love than my great-grandparents. My uncle served in the Air Force as well and really enjoyed it. He ended up purchasing a prototype airplane after being honorably discharged. The unique part about this plane was that the wings folded up. This allowed the smaller airplane to fit in a garage. Unfortunately, this prototype ended up taking his life, but I know he died doing what he loves. Currently, I am in college, studying chemical dependency as my immediate family has many dependency problems. My partner was in the Navy and is exceptionally supportive of my educational path. Given my upbringing around dependency, and my partner's deployments, we both have struggled with PTSD. I want to build a future for myself and our future family and continue obtaining degrees to help everybody. I specifically want to work with individuals who have PTSD from any background. Post graduation, though this may sound like a very high goal, I am going to go into the FBI. I never saw myself going to college. For a long time, I was a high school dropout. When I went back to high school, I graduated with honors, and now in college, I am on the same path. Though I have faced a lot of adversity in my life, I want to give back and educate myself on how to help our communities who have struggled similarly. Some of the most pivotal individuals in my education path have been veterans I am surrounded by. I often seek advice from an individual at my school, who works in human services and chemical dependency. He is a veteran, and I resonate heavily with the depression, panic disorder, and PTSD, that he himself struggles with. I am so grateful for what veterans have done for our country and continue to do for our community. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the veterans in my life. Thank you for learning about my family, my partner, and my educational path. Most of all, thank you for serving our country and helping future graduates.

Firstly, I want to genuinely share my gratitude for a scholarship such as this one. I am an undergraduate in the field of human services and chemical dependency. My name is Chloe, and I grew up in a split household between my mother and father. What drew me into the scholarship is helping women as it pertains to my education as well as my upbringing with a mother figure. Growing up as a young woman, I did not have much guidance. The small milestones that turned out to be huge, such as learning about self-care, hygiene, and modesty were not instilled in me. I felt humiliated growing up. My mother was a bar back and frequently told me that it’s a man’s world. my mother would remind me that women’s goals come after a man’s goals. I was also told that when women are harassed in public, it is their own fault. I am 23 years old, and quite frankly, I am surprised I made it into college given how this upbringing affected me in my younger years. As an adult, I am a massive advocate for women’s rights, and women’s education, and I see the systematic issues with mindsets like the ones that I was brought up around. I like to think I’m well-rounded now after many years of therapy, rehabilitation at 17 years, old, and going back to school for my high school diploma. I decided when I got to college as a first-generation college student that I wanted to make a difference. I am currently working on my associate's degree. I want to eventually get a Ph.D. in human services and criminal justice. I grew up somewhat in the system and I see how many problems there are within. Once I graduate, I want to have a family one day. I was always petrified that I would perpetuate the same cycles that have been going down for generations in my family, but in the past couple of years, I have started to honor myself for the hard work I have done to break away from each individual cycle as it comes to my attention. Young women need love, guidance, and Grace, amongst so many other shows of love. It is a very hard world out there for any minority, and I plan to make a difference in every community that I can. Thank you very much for taking the time to read a little bit about my background, and why I am so humbled to be in college.

Recovery has meant many different meanings to me throughout time. There was a time when I was hopeless and addicted. Recovery meant surviving to the next day and maybe getting clean one day. When I went into treatment shortly before turning 18, recovery meant starting to build relationships again and learning trust. Post rehab, recovery was something that felt impossible; like a hill I could never get to the peak of. Surely, enough, I have remained clean and sober for six years now. The meaning has changed a lot for me since before starting this process. It now has a beautiful meaning to me, not a daunting one. Recovery means appreciating having learned healthy relationships, living life, not just being alive, it is working hard towards my goals and future, and most of all an unwavering dedication to every uncomfortable development that we must go through to be the best version of ourselves. As a college student, it has a much newer meaning to me, as I have gone into the degree of chemical dependency. I will be giving back to my community every day because I know that if I can do it, I can inspire people much like the young version of myself who felt alone and hopeless to do it as well. Thank you for hearing my story. Chloe B.

This is a great question that I am always finetuning the response to. I have PTSD. I grew up in poor circumstances, but chose as an adult to go back to school, and then be a first generation to go to college. Mental health has been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. What has changed is what I do with these struggles. I created a YouTube channel around mental health, and am going to school to learn more in-depth how I can help communities struggling with mental health crises. My beliefs are encompassed with learning to value kindness and empathy towards others once I understood how challenging navigating life and struggling with mental health can truly be. I have struggled with relationships in a unique way. This is not to say that I do not want healthy new relationships, but the amount of friendships I have had to say goodbye to for the sake of growth and safety is where this question hits close to home. I was in inpatient drug treatment by 17 and watched so many peers pass away, or seem to never heal. There is a sort of survivor guilt in being in a place in my life where I have a roof over my head and food in my refrigerator. There are so many small joys of life that I now get to experience sober, and mentally healing that so many people may never feel or experience. My career aspirations are embedded in my hope to change many lives. Due to how I grew up and the choices that I made, I have so many moments of imposter syndrome surprised that I am doing well for myself. I strive to show young people who believe they made their bed and must now lie in it that that is not the case. We are never too far gone, even when it feels this way. I want to work my way towards working in the FBI. I want to work in a unit that investigates adults abusing children and taking down sex trafficking. So many of our youth are feeling hopeless in the neverending loop of our family system. I believe I can make great change and advocate for our communities. My belief system about life and my drive to help others is something I cannot quite explain. I could say the obvious; that people who grew up without resources want to connect people with resources now that we have the capacity and will to help. It is just not that simple. I was sad, lonely, distraught, and anxious for the majority of my life. To be submitting this essay in my very own home with dinner in the oven is an opportunity that every single human is deserving of. I cannot help everyone trapped in the grips of mental health struggles and unhealthy family cycles. However, I am writing this to allow myself room to breathe, so I can work harder and be the person to my colleagues, our community, my future family, and that I need. This will enable me to continue on the path to recovery, and help others in turn recover. Thank you for considering me and reading my story. Chloe Bobnes

I grew up in Los Angeles, California. Moving away was a lingering thought I had considered, but in truth, never knew if I would have the gall to do it. As a minor, I struggled with many circumstances that did not feel were fair. As I have gotten older, this is not a thought that I subscribe to. I believe it is what we do with cruel circumstances, and who we become due to them that shapes us into a better, or a worse version of ourselves. I grew up with a mother who did not value education, morals, or her children for that matter. She was a criminal, a con artist, and a drug addict consistently choosing her ailments over all else. By 16, I was a runaway dealing drugs in Hollywood alongside some shady characters and entangled with gangs attempting to have a feeling of family. By 17, I had survived an overdose and was shortly after arrested and charged with five felonies. I could not believe what my life had come to. I decided to go to rehab and clean up my life. By 18, I graduated from my drug program early and used my supplying knowledge to start my first business that I still own and operate today. Two years ago, my younger brother was getting out of a Utah state rehabilitation program. At the time, I was 21. When he called me to tell me his release date, I offered an option to him that even to me, sounded perilous. I asked him if he would like to join me near Seattle, rather than returning to Los Angeles knowing this was a place we both struggled. He avidly agreed. I packed up my car mid-COVID and started driving. I have lived in Gig Harbor for two years, and honestly do not like it. I have experienced two home break-ins, my younger brother becoming (and remaining a missing person) and a town full of people who seem to live in a bubble of comfort. Despite feeling this way, I am proud I took a leap of faith away from all of my comforts, and the familiarity of “home”. I struggle with what feels at times, a debilitating repercussion of my past choices and upbringing; PTSD. Would I consider myself by society's standards okay? No. However, I spend every waking day practicing healthy habits. I am in therapy, and no longer recoil at the thought of asking for help. I have cultivated healthy relationships, and here I am in college! I have never stopped demanding better for myself, and never will. I am motivated, even when I lose sight of why. I plan to use my degree to start another business in my field of study and continue to break generational cycles. I am optimistic of what my future holds and the people I may be able to help who grew up similarly to me. I want to create a beautiful work environment for those I employ. I want to propel my career to places beyond what seems feasible. Along my path, one of the best feelings has been the feeling of frequently surprising myself at what I can achieve, even when I did not believe I could. As far as what I personally want, I am not completely sure. What I know with certainty that it will entail success, family, health, happiness, and a continued education.