I used to wish my APIDA (Asian, Pacific Islander, Desi American) culture was not a part of me; I was bullied for being darker, for having my mother massage oil into my hair, and for having "weird" food in my lunch box. A little more than a decade later, I can say that my APIDA culture has contributed to a major rise in my self-esteem. My Indian culture makes me unique, and the fact that I can live between two extremely different cultures is worthwhile. A lot of aspects of South Asian culture have shown up in Western culture--and while it hurts sometimes to see something I was bullied for being a popular trend now, I am proud to say that I was ahead of the curb and stayed close to my roots. I am proud to see my culture being represented in mainstream media, and it feels good to see people who look like me being recognized as beautiful. The shift in what my APIDA culture meant to me can also be exemplified by how much my fluency in the Gujarati language grew between the ages of 11 and 21. I learned that my APIDA culture was not holding me back, but instead pushing me into a future full of passion, integrity, and altruism. The one thing about South Asian culture that still does not quite agree with me is its relationship with mental health. This subject is glossed over and thought of as taboo or not real. As someone who has been invalidated throughout their mental health journey, I decided that if I was not seeing progress in this matter, I would be one of the people who made progress possible. I began studying psychology and human development, as well as pursuing a professional career in mental health. I try to bring mental health awareness to the APIDA community by openly talking about it at outreach events, as well as advocating for the needs of the APIDA community to other professionals (in fact, one way I am currently advocating for recognition of diversity is using the term APIDA instead of AAPI in this essay, as India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh are often forgotten or unjustified in the term "Asian"). My Indian culture, coupled with the Western culture of America, has allowed me to express myself two-fold. If I cannot find a way to express myself in English, I may have the words in Gujarati. If I am not feeling confident before going to a networking or social event, then I will incorporate Indian fashion under my blazer or jacket so that I am reminded of the Indian women before me who would be so proud of the position I have gotten myself to. I thank them for their sacrifices of withstanding oppression and double standards, and I wish to make them proud--which also pushes me to pave a new path in the mental health field and lead the APIDA community to feel empowered to take care of themselves and their minds so that they too can become their authentic and healthy selves. I want to help lead the next generation of young people into being able to say that they were never ashamed of their APIDA culture.

My dream version of myself is bold and comfortable with being uncomfortable. She is a representation that women of color, particularly South Asian women, are not confined to the stereotypes that our culture places on us; she is a symbol of success as defined by an individual instead of society. My dream future self has grown and gained wisdom and has helped the next generation grow into their true selves. She is happy, and confident, and is labeled as a change-maker.