I have always been interested in the criminal mind and knowing how individuals' brains work and what causes them to do what they do. Growing up I would watch True Crime shows and would absorb every ounce of information. I received a bachelor's in Sociology with a concentration in criminal justice and criminology. During my time in school, I interned in the Larimer County Jail working with inmates and was able to speak with them about their experience. This was when I realized the huge impact of mental health and the lack of mental health support in our communities. This concern correlates with incarceration rates and the revolving door most of these individuals are continuously going through when handling the multiple different systems in our law and criminal justice system. My original career path was criminal justice. After college, I started working for child protective services and was a caseworker for six years. Throughout those 6 years, I saw a different side of the community that most are not exposed to and are not aware of. I have seen the current mental health and addiction crisis firsthand. I have walked into the homes of parents who have spiraled into the dark hole that is addiction and unaddressed mental health. I have seen the impact it has not only had on their relationships but their children's relationships and progress in the future. I have also seen how these individuals are seen in society. They are seen as individuals who are not to be trusted and cannot be helped. No one tries to get to know them or feels it would not be worth their time to assist in the crisis. A lot of people also do not know where to start with addressing the crisis and the specific needs of the individuals who are currently in crisis. I was able to work alongside my clients setting them up for treatment. Seeing my clients succeed and pull themselves out of the lonely and isolating life they once lived changed my perspective on individuals currently in mental health crisis. I was able to set clients up for resources and walk them through taking accountability for their past actions and mending relationships that were previously broken. I have seen clients reunited with their children and children stepping out of the cycles of abuse, addiction and mental health that has been passed down from generation to generation. The motivation to do more for my clients began to grow. For every successful reunification and client completing treatment, there were a dozen who didn’t make it and fell victim to their circumstances. Each stumble they faced became a personal challenge for me to address the barrier and bulldoze it on-site. It became harder and harder to ignore the fire igniting within, demanding me to act. I realized during my time with child protection the help needed to start with the parents. I firmly believe it is in most children’s best interest, if in a safe environment, to be with their family. Emphasis on the safe environment aspect. Creating safety for children goes beyond smoke detectors and a fridge full of food. The element of emotional safety is the hardest to measure, but incredibly vital in the makeup of the developing self. Parents engaged in substance misuse are often combating generational trauma that compounds and manifests itself as “bad parenting.” The reality is the substance abuse is merely a symptom of that trauma and is not addressed through white-knuckling sobriety to pass urine analysis requirements mandated by the state. Trauma, pain, and isolation, the key drivers in substance abuse that must be addressed through intensive counseling. Working in the child protective field through the COVID-19 pandemic brought a whole new set of challenges to the table. Not only were caseworkers expected to put their lives on the line, risking exposure from entering people’s homes at all hours of the day and night, but the families were majorly impacted. Parents who were once thriving lost employment and experienced a crisis they had never been exposed to before. The uncertainty of the future of the world caused intense, crippling anxiety. Children were isolated due to the lockdowns. They were no longer front and center in classrooms where teachers could observe and report abuse or neglect. They no longer had friends to rely on and giggle with. Our children were afraid and at times, alone. Caseworkers were overworked and exposed to potentially dangerous situations for our health along with our families. Many caseworkers decided the risk was not worth it and left the field entirely leaving those of us who had no other options to take on the extra weight. During the pandemic there was an influx in the need for mental health services. Those services were not available due to the intense need for mental health therapists and facilities in the community. Naturally, people returned to a tried-and-true coping mechanism- the substances. A shocking revelation, amongst many during the 2020 global pandemic, was observing major corporations, medical facilities, clothing stores, etc., get shut down without question. However, when it came to liquor stores being shut down, the amount of backlash and rage that outpoured in the community was so intense that liquor stores were deemed “essential” and nearly immediately reopened. Fear, trauma and uncertainty drive substance abuse and this was a small highlight of that. After experiencing the need for mental health services and the severity of the mental health crisis in the United States today I have changed my focus and career path to addictions counseling. Addiction and mental health go hand in hand for a lot of individuals. They will turn to substances when they do not have a strong support network or coping skills to manage the symptoms they are experiencing on a day-to-day basis. I would like my focus to be on the criminal justice system and prisons. There is a need for ongoing treatment for these individuals when incarcerated and when being released from the criminal justice system. Most of these people are in a generational cycle and a life of crime and drugs is all they know. Most of these people do not want to be where they are at, they do not want to be struggling the way they are, but they do not have the support to change. These individuals need to know someone cares and believes they can do better after they have heard time and time again, they are not loved. An experiment nicknamed “Rat Park”, by Dr Bruce Alexander, was of particular interest to me when first discovering it. To be brief, the experiment depicted rats who lived alone in a basic cage with two sources of water. One source was regular water and the other was infused with drugs. The rats became quickly addicted to the drugged water as one might suspect. In another cage, however, another set of rats had access to both sets of water as well, but these rats did not become addicted nor even consume the drug-infused water. The only difference between the cages was that one was an inviting environment, filled with rats, stimulating activities and other social pleasures. The experiment showed just how important having a supportive and stimulating community was to beating addiction. I want to be a part of someone’s successful, supportive and stimulating community. I want to specialize specifically in addictions and working with individuals who are currently in the criminal justice system. I feel those individuals are an extremely marginalized population that needs someone to listen and needs to be shown that someone cares. These people, much like the experiment, need others who truly care for them to beat their destructive habits. This would not only make our communities safer but also better the outcome for generations to come. Children thrive best in an environment where both parents are involved. Unfortunately, there are many times when mental health concerns interfere with the well-being of children and in turn impact future generations to come. It’s time for those of us in trusted positions to step up in support of our community’s best interest. And it is in everyone’s best interest to lower the rate of recidivism by treating the root cause. You cannot be expected to solve the world’s problems, if you’re too intimidated to look beneath the surface. Addiction is the surface issue; trauma is the root cause. I am committed to truly making a lasting impact on the individual lives of the people I will serve through trauma-informed care. Receiving this degree will make my passion a reality as I dig down and pull from the many mental images, I carry each day from my time in the field.