I always thought that the princess would get saved by the prince. That's how every story went. All the movies and books were filled with heterosexual romance. When I was younger I had a best friend and for the sake of this story we will name her Sarah. She was creative and fun, always making school a joy to return to. Both Sarah and I grow up in the same church, a religion that was completely against homosexuality. I was always terrified of girls kissing girls and guys marrying guys. It seemed so wrong in my sheltered brain I genuinely would get scared. When I would hug Sarah after school that fear made its way into every fiber of my being. I wasn't scared of her per se, I was scared of how I felt about her. Looking back I think Sarah was my first queer crush. I didn't know it then but my sexuality wouldn't always be so scary. I think the reason I was so fearful was not because it was unnatural to feel attraction to the same sex but because I was taught that it was evil and a sin. I've always been such a perfectionist. Getting diagnosed with OCD made my obsession for perfection make a whole lot more sense. This anxiety that I was sinning simply by existing in my queerness was overwhelming to say the least. I felt dirty and guilty. I prayed to a god that hated me for being queer to change me. And it wasn't just god that I was worried about. My family and many of my friends are not accepting of the LGBTQ+ community. An example of the prejudice that I observed was when I was talking to my father. He said that he would love me always but would be sorry if I "choose" to be a lesbian. As you can probably imagine I felt deflated to say the least. Not only could I see that his understanding of homosexuality was way off, I also felt unwanted because I couldn't change the way I was born. I can't change my family but I could change my religion. I made a choice that was extremely difficult and painful to make by leaving my religion. It was an act of self love because I knew it was keeping me from truly accepting myself. I and the rest of the queer community will always have difficulties that we sadly have to deal with. But luckily I've been able to realize that being queer is one of my favorite things about myself. I most closely identify with the term pansexual and discovering this big part of myself really opened up a whole new world of community and acceptance. I don't have to be saved by a prince. I don't even have to be saved by a princess. Allowing myself to be queer saved me. I can now give myself space to explore attraction without the shame that so much of our society is burdening us with. I can create a beautiful relationship with another magical princess or maybe a majestic non binary human. Either way I have been impacted by being queer. But I truly wouldn't want to be any other way.