"Kindness in Action" A moment of kindness that immediately comes to mind is asking my best friend to the final dance of the year. My friend Jackson is a grade above me, so in his senior year, I was a junior, and I put a sign together inviting him to Accolade, the most anticipated dance at our high school. Now, simply asking a friend to a dance may not seem like all that important of a moment, but it's special because Jackson always had a hard time socially. Academically, he is quite gifted, but he didn't have a "best friend" until 10th grade, when we first met working at the same summer job. Admittedly at first, I thought he was a fine person, but as we begun spending more time together, I realize that it's truly a shame no one really gave him a chance. Having autism surely didn't help his case, but I actually don't believe that was the main reason he had a hard time making friends. Jackson is a very passionate person, and could talk for hours about academics, video games, or ethical dilemmas. I truly think that this frightens people away, who don't want anything meaningful from their connections. In my 9th grade year, Jackson ended up asking me to Accolade, which I was so excited for. I bought a huge dress, got my makeup done professionally, and had pictures taken. So, paying the thought forward by being the person to ask Jackson to his final dance cemented our friendship as something truly important. "Boldly, Unapologetically Me" If I had a dollar for every time an adult asked me "you'll change your style in college, right?", I would have enough money to buy a new Lolita dress every month. For reference, these dresses cost no less than $100, and sometimes up to $500. As all of my friends and family know, I have always been interested in hyperfeminine fashion, specifically from Japan, since I was a child. Growing up around pop-culture naturally brought me to San Diego Comic Con yearly, dressed in homemade Studio Ghibli dresses. I feel more like myself when I am wearing long fake eyelashes, impractically frilly heels, and a pinafore dress and matching petticoat, than when I am in pajamas on a weekend. In fact some people are shocked to learn that makeup is very time consuming, but brings me so much joy that I literally couldn't care less. From those descriptions, you may believe that I love standing out and getting attention, and you would absolutely be correct. Contrary to popular belief about alternative people, I adore when people come up to me with questions, compliments, and even concerns. In fact, I receive more praise than criticism, and I believe this is because everyone secretly wants to express themselves uniquely. All of that was to segue into the topic of my Informative Speech on Japanese fashion. I was told by multiple judges that the speech was not relatable or relevant, as a justification for my low scores. However, I never let this stop me. Getting into an over-the-top dress to deliver a 10 minute speech on the importance of fashion is much more important than winning with an overused topic. Even if my judges would never wear a petticoat or a frilly blouse, I hope that my courage to be unapologetically myself taught them the value of expression, no mater how extreme.

What a lot of people are shocked to learn about me is that up until 10th grade, I was homeschooled by my mother and grandmother. My education consisted of sitting in my bed on my computer, doing repetitive math lessons on Khan Academy and IXL, watching Horrible Histories, and falling behind in English because it was so unbelievably boring. Now as a senior, English is my strongest subject, and I realize that I "fell behind" in middle school because the content was far too easy. I started going to a public high school in 10th grade for a few reasons (mainly for being with the mountain bike team, which I would go onto becoming the captain of), such as the IB program and the presence of multiple friends I had made around town. I was deeply afraid of being far behind my peers, since as I already mentioned, online school lessons did nothing to satisfy my need for challenging academics. Sitting in my counselor's office on the very first day of school, I worried when AP World History was put on my schedule, since I didn't believe myself to be equipped for a college level class. I had mentioned that I liked history, but this all sounded like too much to me. So, on the very first day of class, I kept my head down, participated only when necessary, and avoided eye contact with the teacher, Coach Brogan Poll. In all honesty, Coach Poll is still intimidating to me, even as at 18 in my senior year. He has a large, broad presence and is not afraid to tell misbehaving students off. After a while, I really did start to enjoy AP World History. The content was surprisingly not difficult, and I found myself understanding the material entirely and even helping other students. I was beginning to become more confident and sharing the unique "hacks" I was taught as a homeschooler. I was finishing tests faster than everyone else because my hand did not cramp up writing on paper, I received the "unicorn" (AKA the complexity) point on a DBQ practice, and even had my work used as an example for the other students. Coach Poll changed my life forever when I learned what he told my mom at the very first parent teacher conference. Despite being a polite and hardworking student, I was afraid of what my teachers would say about me, simply because I had no idea how any of this worked. However, according to my mother, Coach Poll told her that I was his favorite student, and that I set the standard. Hearing this made me happy beyond words, and from then on, I began purposely participating in class more often to keep impressing him. I led group projects, presented slideshows on my own, and answered when everyone else was too nervous. That class helped me realize how much I love school when it is challenging. I credit a lot of my academic confidence to the pride that Coach Poll had in me when I was just 15 years old. Now as a senior, taking the most advanced history class offered at my high school, I still strive to surpass his expectations. I am unsure if I would have become the challenge-seeking student I am now if it hadn't been for my first AP class, where I was regarded as the standard by Coach Poll. Outside of class, I love talking to Coach Poll about politics and unique historical dilemmas, because he sees me as an intellectual equal, not just as a student.

I began participating in my high school's Speech and Debate team in junior year, a decision which at the time, filled me with anxiety. Originally, I had no interest in the team at all, because performance of any kind made me want to shut down. Whether it was presenting a project, participating in a sports competition, or even ordering food, I always worried too much about all that could go wrong. However at the time, there was a boy I had a crush on, and he was part of the team. He invited me to do Public Forum with him, insisting that we would make a great team. I agreed, since the idea of having a partner alleviated much of my stress. I trusted him to make all of the preparations, such as writing our case, logging into Tabroom, and memorizing possible rebuttals. I felt that everything would be fine. Even though he was also a beginner, doing it with him made the entire ordeal feel safe. However, my world came crashing down when exactly one week from the tournament, this boy told me that he wouldn't be able to attend the tournament anymore. This terrified me! I was in the system without a partner, without a case, and without any knowledge of how Tabroom worked. So, that same day, I went to eat lunch in Mrs Currie's classroom to get away from my friends, who were guaranteed to ask me why I was on the verge of tears. Mrs Currie was the Speech and Debate coach, as well as my IB US History teacher, so I had a lot of trust in her. I confided in her about my stress, since my partner quit the team (I wouldn't end up knowing this specific detail until months later), barely giving me a week to prepare. Mrs Currie did not panic, instead, she brought one of her most qualified team members to the room, asking if he would be my partner instead. His name is Jack, and he had been doing Public Forum since middle school. Every day that week leading up to the tournament, we stayed in the library for hours after school to plan the case, practice Cross Examination, and teach me the niches of Speech and Debate. While the whole situation was stressful, it taught me some very important skills about working well under pressure. With Jack's assistance, I ended up writing both the Aff and Neg cases, memorizing the opening speech, and going on to win 3rd place. While there were multiple times where I forgot what to say, accidentally agreed with my opponent's rebuttals, or took too long to begin speaking, I look back on my first tournament experience positively. One of the most important skills that I learned from writing my first case was synthesizing evidence and information. The topic was on niche African politics, and I realized that there is an infinite amount of information yet to learn. I applied this lesson to my first time participating in Informative Speaking, which ended up being my favorite event. For my informative speech, I ended up speaking about a topic I am already very passionate about: Japanese fashion. I pushed myself to make this speech both intricate and relatable for the judges. I ended up winning 1st place twice with this speech. If possible, I would love to continue speaking and debating in college, because participating in tournaments has made me a better researcher, gotten me through my performance anxiety, and introduced me to incredible life long friends.

The movie that has had the greatest impact on my life is Kamikaze Girls. Kamikaze Girls is a groundbreaking Japanese film from 2004 directed by Tetsuya Nakashima, which follows the uneventful life of Momoko, a teenage girl who wears Lolita on a daily basis to feel proximity to the aristocratic life she dreams of. Despite the confidence that Momoko has to dress exactly how she pleases, it’s clear that she is an outsider, though not explicitly ostracized for her fashion sense; she does appear to be quite lonely. However, this changes when she meets Ichigo, a young delinquent and enjoyer of punk fashion. Despite their opposite personalities, the girls develop an extremely deep friendship, built on the foundation of fashion expression. The film still resonates with viewers to this day due to the seldom explored subject matter of fashion’s impact on society. This film has impacted me greatly because for my entire life, I have had an interest in Japanese fashion. Now, I like to blend motifs from all sorts of feminine fashions, most notably Lolita, the style that is based on Victorian gowns and French Rococo. Dressing in hyperfeminine fashion styles is when I feel most like myself, and I really love that in Kamikaze Girls, it is treated as entirely normal for young women to like dressing in bonnets and big dresses. While, similar to Momoko, I have never been treated differently for my style, I have always felt as if I can never fit into any pre-established friend groups. Despite the challenges I had making friends in my first year of high school, I didn't let that stop me. Momoko, despite never having a friend before Ichigo came into her life, was visually and unapologetically herself for years. That is why fashion matters to me so much, because it's about intentional self-expression in a world that constantly pressures everyone to blend in. I feel that everyone has an obligation to watch Kamikaze Girls, or at least another somewhat-underground film about fashion. Not everyone has the capacity or even the desire to dress extreme like Momoko, or even me, but films like these teach their viewers patience and empathy. After watching the film, people often realize that despite never wanting to dress up in a petticoat or frilly blouse, they deeply relate to Momoko and Ichigo, simply because they are young people exploring identity in a world that encourages sameness over happiness.