I have known I was transgender since I was five. The words seemed so natural to me, "Mom, I'm your son.". Of course, she denied that fact, as I was assigned female at birth and I did not yet have the words to describe the true meaning of my statement. I spent my childhood squirming in dresses, befriending boys, and playing with toy cars instead of dolls. It wasn't until my junior year of high school that I finally began to understand why I was so different from the other teenage girls in my grade. It was because I wasn't a girl at all. Luckily, I had a wonderful support system through my friends and teachers, and in that area of my life I was viewed as how I truly felt on the inside quite quickly. As for many other members of the community, this treatment did not extend everywhere, as my mother was decidedly against this decision. As my primary caretaker, she blocked my requests for gender affirming hormone therapy until the summer before my freshman year of college, and would later ask me to leave her home over a separate but related conflict. I was able to move in with my father for a time, and eventually move back in with my mother. However, our relationship remains fraught, and even with a job I must rely on her finances to fund my education. Winning this scholarship would be incredibly relieving, as it would remove the burden of wondering if my ability to pay for college will be revoked at any moment, and allow me to move further along the path of curating an entirely supportive community around myself. Despite my struggles, I am grateful to be a transgender man. I believe it has provided me with a more nuanced perspective on life than that of a cisgender man, as I have spent a decent portion of my life living as a woman. Therefore, I find it easy to be empathetic to the troubles of anyone I meet in life, regardless of gender. This perspective, along with the hardships I have endured with my mother, has influenced me to study within the field of psychology. After I finish my masters degree, I dream of having my own private practice in which I can guide my clients to live their most fulfilling lives in the face of their adversities. For transgender patients specifically, I will know firsthand the pain and isolation they are experiencing and I do not think there are currently enough therapists with the expertise to make them feel genuinely understood. Even with my own previous therapist, it seemed as though she lacked the proper words and advice to give me regarding my journey with gender, which was highly discouraging. It is clear that people in the transgender community face an uphill battle with mental health, especially with the current state of politics in America right now. I do not want to see members of my community prevented from achieving their goals because of this, and as a therapist I want to be a strong obstacle to that scenario. I want to be the therapist I wish I had, the therapist I could have turned to when I could not turn to my mother. With this scholarship, I will be one step closer to becoming that, and one step closer to empowering as many transgender people as my time will allow.

I have known I was transgender since I was five. The words seemed so natural to me, "Mom, I'm your son.". Of course, she denied that fact, as I was assigned female at birth and I did not yet have the words to describe the true meaning of my statement. I spent my childhood squirming in dresses, befriending boys, and playing with toy cars instead of dolls. It wasn't until my junior year of high school that I finally began to understand why I was so different from the other teenage girls in my grade. It was because I wasn't a girl at all. Luckily, I had a wonderful support system through my friends and teachers, and in that area of my life I was viewed as how I truly felt on the inside quite quickly. As for many other members of the community, this treatment did not extend everywhere, as my mother was decidedly against this decision. As my primary caretaker, she blocked my requests for gender affirming hormone therapy until the summer before my freshman year of college, and would later ask me to leave her home over a separate but related conflict. I was able to move in with my father for a time, and eventually move back in with my mother. However, our relationship remains fraught, and even with a job I must rely on her finances to fund my education. Winning this scholarship would be incredibly relieving, as it would remove the burden of wondering if my ability to pay for college will be revoked at any moment, and allow me to move further along the path of curating an entirely supportive community around myself. Despite my struggles, I am grateful to be a transgender man. I believe it has provided me with a more nuanced perspective on life than that of a cisgender man, as I have spent a decent portion of my life living as a woman. Therefore, I find it easy to be empathetic to the troubles of anyone I meet in life, regardless of gender. This perspective, along with the hardships I have endured with my mother, has influenced me to study within the field of psychology. After I finish my masters degree, I dream of having my own private practice in which I can guide my clients to live their most fulfilling lives in the face of their adversities. For transgender patients specifically, I will know firsthand the pain and isolation they are experiencing and I do not think there are currently enough therapists with the expertise to make them feel genuinely understood. Even with my own previous therapist, it seemed as though she lacked the proper words and advice to give me regarding my journey with gender, which was highly discouraging. It is clear that people in the transgender community face an uphill battle with mental health, especially with the current state of politics in America right now. I do not want to see members of my community prevented from achieving their goals because of this, and as a therapist I want to be a strong obstacle to that scenario. I want to be the therapist I wish I had, the therapist I could have turned to when I could not turn to my mother. With this scholarship, I will be one step closer to becoming that, and one step closer to empowering as many transgender people as my time will allow.

I have known I was transgender since I was five. The words seemed so natural to me, "Mom, I'm your son.". Of course, she denied that fact, as I was assigned female at birth and I did not yet have the words to describe the true meaning of my statement. I spent my childhood squirming in dresses, befriending boys, and playing with toy cars instead of dolls. It wasn't until my junior year of high school that I finally began to understand why I was so different from the other teenage girls in my grade. It was because I wasn't a girl at all. Luckily, I had a wonderful support system through my friends and teachers, and in that area of my life I was viewed as how I truly felt on the inside quite quickly. As for many other members of the community, this treatment did not extend everywhere, as my mother was decidedly against this decision. As my primary caretaker, she blocked my requests for gender affirming hormone therapy until the summer before my freshman year of college, and would later ask me to leave her home over a separate but related conflict. I was able to move in with my father for a time, and eventually move back in with my mother. However, our relationship remains fraught and even with my job I must rely on her financially. Winning this scholarship would be incredibly relieving, as it would lead me further down the path of removing that burden from my shoulders and curating a community around myself that is entirely supportive. Despite my struggles, I am grateful to be a transgender man. I believe it has provided me with a more nuanced perspective on life than that of a cisgender man, as I have spent a decent portion of my life living as a woman. Therefore, I find it easy to be empathetic to the troubles of anyone I meet in life, regardless of gender. This perspective, along with the hardships I have endured with my mother, has influenced me to study within the field of psychology. After I finish my masters degree, I dream of having my own private practice in which I can guide my clients to live their most fulfilling lives in the face of their adversities. For transgender patients specifically, I will know firsthand the pain and isolation they are experiencing. I do not think there are enough therapists currently with the expertise to make those in the transgender community feel genuinely understood. Even with my own previous therapist, it seemed as though she lacked the proper words and advice to give me regarding my journey with gender. That in itself was discouraging, because I believed that if someone who had been practicing psychology for years could not help me, no one could. It was only through interacting with others that fell outside of the gender binary that my opinion on this was changed. It is clear that people in the transgender community face an uphill battle with mental health, especially with the current state of politics in America right now. I do not want to see members of my community prevented from achieving their goals because of this, and I certainly do not want to see them meet the same fate as Cesar, who I am sure could have lived an impressive life. As a therapist, I want to be an obstacle to that fate, and a strong one at that. I want to be the therapist I wish I had, the therapist I could have turned to when I could not turn to my mother. With this scholarship, I will be one step closer to becoming that, and one step closer to empowering as many transgender people as my time will allow.

Climbing is a sanctuary within sports for those who do not fit in elsewhere. I am a transgender man. Consequently, in my sophomore year of high school I was forced to quit the sport I had been playing since I was five. I no longer belonged on the softball team, but I was both not strong enough and not respected enough to play with the pubescent boys on the baseball team. I felt belittled and hopeless, as I regretfully accepted that my time as an athlete was most likely over because most sports are separated by gender in a similar way. For a time, this remained true, and I did not participate in any sports besides solo weight lifting for the rest of high school. However, when I arrived at Umass Amherst I was informed of a free for students bouldering gym on campus, and encouraged by a friend to try it out. I fell in love with it immediately, planning my next visit before I even left my first one. I was originally drawn in by the problem solving aspect, the way that climbing relies heavily on technique and discovering the beta for the route instead of brute force. I was kept though, by the community. Seeing men and women working the same boulders, troubleshooting together, and congratulating each other was both rejuvenating and inspiring. I knew I wanted to become involved with this group of people from the very beginning, and now that I am, I can say that they are the most accepting athletes I have ever met. There's never a question about differences, instead there are questions about what we can learn from each other based off them. Unfortunately, the real world is much harsher than the bouldering gym. During my freshman year of college I was kicked out of my moms house. I was eventually allowed to return, but our relationship remains volatile. I have an understanding father who can provide me a place to stay if things become hostile again, but I rely on my mother for the majority of my financial support. Winning this scholarship would mean that I would be one step closer to lifting that burden off my shoulders, and not having to wonder if the funding for my education will be taken away at any moment. With this scholarship, I could work towards building a community like the climbing community in my personal life, one that supports differences instead of criticizing them. I plan to keep climbing for as long as my body will allow, and if I am chosen I promise to carry on the legacy of the climbers I have met as a kind, compassionate, and innovative athlete.