My name is Chaniah Brown and I am a senior Political Science student at the illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University. I am an Aquarius and my favorite color is yellow. Navigating the intricate web of my personal history, mental illness has cast a profound shadow, leaving an indelible mark on both my journey and the collective narrative of my family. In the intricate tapestry of our lives, threads of anxiety and depression weave alongside a legacy of substance abuse and alcoholism, hindering familial unity and impeding our ability to expand horizons for future generations. Personally, anxiety and depression have been unwelcome companions throughout much of my life. Although I first was diagnosed at the age of sixteen I previously struggled with self-harm and substance abuse. The weight of these mental health challenges has shaped my experiences, influencing my relationships, educational pursuits, and overall well-being. The persistent struggle to manage these conditions has been a journey marked by peaks and valleys, a testament to resilience, yet also a reminder of the need for empathy and understanding in our collective narrative. I also realized that I am more than a diagnosis of fact sheet I am a person with a complex nature and deserving of unconditional love, support, and recognition. Equally impactful is the history of substance abuse and alcoholism within my family. This legacy, like a haunting specter, has cast its long shadow across generations, disrupting the potential for familial unity. The intergenerational cycle of addiction has eroded the foundations of trust and communication, hindering our ability to work cohesively towards common goals. My family members have stolen, lied, and hurt each other to support their substance abuse habits or during episodes of mania, delirium, or hallucinations. This lack of familial unity has limited our ability to create a better legacy for future generations. The absence of a strong support system has made it difficult to pass down values, traditions, and a sense of resilience in the face of adversity. Instead, we find ourselves grappling with the repercussions of the past, struggling to break free from the chains that bind us to a history of pain and instability. However, within this narrative of challenges lies the potential for transformation. Acknowledging the impact of mental illness and substance abuse on my family is the first step toward breaking the cycle. It requires a collective commitment to healing, understanding, and supporting one another on our respective journeys toward mental and emotional well-being. By seeking professional help, fostering open communication, and prioritizing mental health, we can begin to dismantle the barriers that have impeded familial unity. By doing so, we lay the foundation for a better familial legacy—one that emphasizes resilience, compassion, and the pursuit of shared aspirations. In conclusion, the intersection of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and alcoholism has intricately shaped both my narrative and the collective story of my family. The challenges posed by mental illness and addiction have hindered our ability to create a unified front, limiting our capacity to envision and work towards a better legacy for future generations. Yet, within the acknowledgment of these struggles lies the potential for transformation and the opportunity to rewrite our familial narrative with resilience, understanding, and a commitment to mental health and well-being.

Embarking upon the final leg of my academic journey as a senior Political Science student at the distinguished North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University (NC A&T), I am compelled to reflect on the profound impact this illustrious institution has had on my personal and intellectual growth. NC A&T stands as the unequivocal number 1 public Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU) in the United States, a beacon of excellence that has molded me into a scholar with a keen understanding of societal dynamics and a commitment to effecting positive change. Throughout my tenure, the academic landscape has not merely been a crucible for knowledge acquisition but a transformative crucible that has broadened my perspectives instilled a deep sense of purpose, and fueled my passion for community service. In contemplating the trajectory of my future contributions, I am particularly drawn to the pivotal role education plays in shaping the destinies of individuals, especially within historically marginalized communities. The African-American community, in particular, has historically faced systemic barriers to accessing quality education, making initiatives to address this disparity of paramount importance. Education is not merely a pathway to personal success; it is a formidable instrument for societal transformation, breaking the shackles of inequality and fostering a more inclusive and equitable society. The importance of representation in educational spaces cannot be overstated. HBCUs, with their rich legacy and commitment to fostering a supportive environment, play a crucial role in cultivating the talents and aspirations of African-American students. It is within these institutions that students often find mentors providing guidance and inspiration that transcends the conventional boundaries of academia. In light if this revelation, I conceive the idea of establishing a scholarship fund, specifically tailored for graduating seniors from my alma mater, Union County High School in Union, South Carolina. This envisioned initiative is not merely about providing financial assistance; it is a deliberate effort to dismantle barriers, open doors, and illuminate pathways to higher education for individuals who might otherwise face insurmountable obstacles. The scholarship fund aims to be a transformative force, a beacon of support that empowers the next generation of African-American scholars to pursue higher education with unwavering determination. By addressing the financial constraints that often impede access to quality education, the initiative seeks to catalyze a ripple effect of positive change, nurturing a cadre of individuals who, armed with knowledge and a sense of purpose, can contribute meaningfully to their communities and society at large. In fostering this educational legacy, my goal extends beyond the immediate beneficiaries of the scholarship fund. I envision a community enriched by a culture that values and prioritizes education, recognizing it as the cornerstone of progress and empowerment. Through mentorship programs, community outreach, and partnerships with educational institutions, the initiative strives to create an ecosystem where the pursuit of knowledge becomes a shared aspiration, transcending individual achievements to shape the collective destiny of the community. As I contemplate the intricate tapestry of my educational journey, I am acutely aware of the privilege and responsibility that come with the knowledge and experiences I have gained. The envisioned scholarship fund represents not just a philanthropic gesture but a commitment to the enduring power of education as a catalyst for positive change. In sowing the seeds of empowerment and breaking down barriers to educational access, I aspire to leave an indelible mark on the educational landscape, contributing to the ongoing narrative of progress and inclusivity. The legacy I seek to create is one where education is not a distant dream but an attainable reality for every aspiring scholar, regardless of their background or circumstance.

I know this moment will not last forever. The warmth shared between our bodies makes me feel alive. Your presence affirms my fears. My fear that someone loves me despite my flaws, mistakes, and the giant bag of shame tethered to my back for all the actions I’ve taken for better or worse. My therapist and I have weekly conversations about how to accept love from others. The first step is to recognize yourself, to connect with yourself, body and soul to the point where all three are indistinguishable apart. The second is to love yourself, and believe that loving yourself is not only an obligation that you have to yourself but a pleasure that you enjoy and find fulfillment in. The third step is to allow yourself to carry peace everywhere you go, whether in a group alone, having an unshakeable sense of self and peace causes you to trust yourself with picking people to be in your life. We determined that not trusting people requires too much energy and enables unhealthy habits like detachment and paranoia. Instead, allow people to show up as themselves and trust yourself to see them for who they are not who you want them to be. The fourth and final step is to allow people to see you when you aren't in your prime. These steps helped me to open myself to you and let you see me perfectly clear. However, these steps are of no help now, at 3:11 am, as I stare at your face, relaxed with your eyes closed. Your limbs stretched out among the sheets like the branches of a tree grounded in my bedroom. Your leaves sacrifice getting wet to shade me from the rain. The perfectly me-sized hole in your trunk opens to comfort me and pull me close when I cannot seem to stop thinking about all the reasons you would leave me. I lied before when I said my biggest fear is loving you, it's not. My biggest fear is losing you, watching you walk away from me is not a heartbreak I can face and survive. You’ve rooted yourself in my heart, a face forever engrained into my memory, an image that time nor space could ever erase.

My name is Chaniah Brown and I am an honor, junior, political science student at the illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University. I chose to pursue my education at an HBCU because I wanted a more personal relationship with my education. As a public school K-12 public school student, I did have teachers who looked like me. All, throughout middle school, I was a part of the gifted and talented program. For three years straight I was the only black person in my class. These circumstances made my Blackness and the expression of my Blackness more and more important to me. There was a moment in my English class when we read the book Monster by Walter Dean Myers. In this book, the main character, Steve, is tried for murder. This book heavily explores the black identity and its connection to the prison industrial complex and how society views black people, from everything to African American Vernacular English to black fashion. While discussing this subject one of my white classmates said, "Well if he doesn't want people to think he is a criminal, then he should speak better and pull up his pants." My naive classmate did not understand the concept of biased perceptions. In an attempt to combat the "Angry Black girl" stereotype, I politely and calmly explained that biased perceptions exist. Some people, regardless of the way a person is dressed and talks, will still see Black people as a threat even though they may not be threatening. I also went on to explain that regardless of what a person says or wears, they deserve respect because they are human and all humans deserve respect. There is power in dignity, so recognizing a person as who they are gives them the dignity that the world denies them. Although I was very proud of myself for speaking up and sharing my perspective of the situation, alienation sat in the pit of my stomach. I felt alone and invalidated even though I was completely correct in my expression the response and environment did not affirm my feelings. I felt alone in a crowded room. A room filled with people who could never understand and did not care to acknowledge or understand my feelings. This created a longing for a representative connection with my education. That ostracization was a feeling I never wanted to feel again, so when I learned about what HBCUs are and the purpose they serve in the fall semester of my junior year of high school I felt like my prayers had been answered. Finally, I had finally found spaces where people like me could be academically engaged but also understand the implications and importance of our education as a marginalized community. Social justice to me means the equitable distribution of justice in a society in terms of race, ethnicity, gender, socioeconomic status, and sexual orientation. Social justice is more than protesting and organizing, it is spreading the concept that all people regardless of their status should receive equitable resources, opportunities, and access to quality education. I am currently working at an internship with the Children's Defense fund as a Freedom School Servant Leader Student Intern. This internship is allowing me the opportunity to help marginalized students increase their literacy while learning about social justice issues such as climate change, racial injustice, and systemic injustices. This allows me to instill knowledge in the young leaders of tomorrow, and knowledge is something we hold inside, meaning it is a tool against the oppression these youth will face in the future, effectively creating lasting change.

Education can come in many shapes, forms, or opportunities. Education, for me, has been a battle. Although I was athletic, I was never good enough for any scouts; I couldn't receive private lessons to improve my abilities because my family could not pay for them. Needless to say, since I was younger, I knew 100% that academia was my way out. I know you are wondering, what is there to escape in my remote part of the world. I live with my mother and uncle, who both have underlying health issues. My mother developed childhood diabetes that resulted in her receiving both a donor kidney and pancreas. She will be on antirejection medicine for the rest of her life. My uncle also has developed diabetes in his adulthood, and he was born with cerebral palsy. I have made it my life's mission to take care of the people who love me. I cannot do this without my education. Education has always been an escape for me. Living with people who have illnesses, constant reminders appear every day of their demise. It may come in the pills they swallow, or the insulin shots, or the medical bills. Daily, I try to make dying flowers believe in life. The struggle that education and I share is typical among students and educators alike. We are both trying to spread knowledge and hope without letting the shackles of reality constrain us. My education has always been an experience I share with others. I have met amazing people because my education allowed me to explore settings outside of my reality. Fundamental changes have occurred in my personal life due to the extent of my education. From the summer of 2017 until the summer of 2019, I participated in the Duke Talent Identification Program (TIP) on the University of Georgia's campus. I took the ACT in the seventh grade and scored a 22. This score qualified me for the program, and I received financial aid assistance to attend. Education of all kinds was a long-standing principle at TIP. Not only did I learn the intricate worlds of U.S. foreign policy, modern medicine, and criminal law, I was encouraged to explore education outside of the traditional classroom. I learned to take agency in my life and create a better world. Education has created an avenue for me unlike any other. I have been able to experience college life at the age of fourteen. I have already begun building a strong network of future leaders. Education provides opportunity and creates a need for people like me, who are underrepresented in academic settings but have the knowledge to entice meaningful and rigorous scholarly conversation. Education has made all the difference in my life, and winning this scholarship will prove that.

In the fall semester of my freshman year of college, I received my first failing grade in my entire academic career. I received a fifty on an essay I wrote for my English 100 class. This completely shattered my self-image. My self-worth foundation was built upon my academic rigor; I was a consistent "A" student, an AP student, and won numerous literary excellence awards. This failure disputed my self-image and shattered my esteem as a student. I felt unintelligent and alone. I was mortified by the way this failure would change other people's perception of me. I had to reevaluate my approach to the course and the foundation of my self-esteem. I devised a plan; I would reach out to my professor and better understand my work errors and stop basing my self worth upon grades. I swallowed my pride and received tutoring through my university, North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University. This was extremely hard for me. I was encouraged to ask questions and be curious in my childhood, but not to ask for help. I was raised in a family where my mother never asked for help, consequently internalizing asking for help with weakness. No one wants to feel weak. It was offputting because I was not knowledgeable in this style of writing. It was sporadic for me not to know something or not be well-versed in various subjects in my academic career. Much to my surprise, my tutors were exceptionally encouraging, welcoming and explained the areas in which my writing could improve. I realized that failure is inevitable and needed for growth. There can be no success without failure. This event pushed me to have become a better student and person. I am most thankful for this moment because it changed the course of my life. I learned to be compassionate towards myself and give myself time to develop. I no longer view myself as just a student but as a complete person whose value exists outside of a grade or classroom. I have also embraced asking for help when I need it. Asking for help does not equate to weakness but rather bravery. There is an essential vulnerability required to ask for help, and I have fully embraced it with openness. I am exploring my identity, personality, and interests. Recently, I completed a painting. I would not have done this if not for this failure. Since this event, I began a new path of self-discovery and self-love. I have grown and have a better understanding of the world and myself.

Against the wishes of my mother, I got a tattoo on July 15, 2020. I got two simple words tattooed on my wrist, Love Yourz. Love Yourz is a song written and produced by the one and only Jermaine Cole. Before this, I had been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. During my lowest episode, I began to self-harm. I cut myself to feel alive, but I didn't understand that some feelings aren't meant to be felt. While I was cutting one night, Love Yourz came on. I started to really listen to the song. I began to understand that no human on Earth has an "easier" or "better" life than mine. Humans all go through struggles and hardships. This does not mean giving up or letting the hardships win. By self-harming, I was letting my depression win. I let my depression define me, but only I can define me. After listening to Love Yourz, I decided to throw away all of my razors and stop cutting myself. July 15, 2020, made 3 years clean. I decided to commemorate my decision and get a tattoo. Love Yourz will always be an important song and phrase in my life. Not only is this phrased permanently sketched in my skin, but it also reminds me every day to continue to fight. Depression is a mental illness, meaning it does not go away. Every day I wake up, and I decided to live despite my condition. I decide to thrive in a world determined to tear me down. I understand that the only way to live a fulfilling life is to show constant gratitude for the things and people that make life worth living. Love Yourz inspired me to live and thrive despite all the unfavorable things in my life. This song saved my life, the way only music can.