Nothing makes me feel more alive than music. For me, music is connection, healing, and joy. It has always been a source of inspiration, which is why I have dedicated my career to it. I aspire to become an audio engineer and producer, roles that allow me to combine technical skills with creativity. My choice to pursue music is both personal and professional. On a personal level, music is my so-called “happy place”, a way to recharge at the end of a hard day or celebrate good moments in life. I decided to study audio engineering after taking a sound class in high school, where I realized no other career could inspire the same level of passion. In college, I have been studying all aspects of audio engineering, including physics, technology, and programming. With these foundational skills, I strive to become a powerhouse in production. Beyond the classroom, I work in one of the school’s studios, where I mentor underclassmen and maintain equipment. In addition, I just started an internship at the RCA historical studio A, where Dolly Parton recorded “I Will Always Love You”. These experiences have prepared me to take my skills to the next level. I am currently applying for a study program in New York City, where I can immerse myself in one of the most vibrant music scenes in the world. One of my biggest role models as I pursue this career is Alicia Keys. Not only is she an incredible artist, but she is also a powerful activist for women’s rights. In 2018, she founded the nonprofit She Is the Music, which is dedicated to increasing the representation of women in the music industry. This semester, I am the only woman in three of my audio engineering classes, and I crave the solidarity and empowerment that She Is the Music represents. Artistically, I admire how Alicia Keys resists formulaic approaches; when I listen to her music, I hear the building blocks, the process, and the sacrifice it took to create something original. The industry today often prioritizes “who you know” over “what you do,” and breaking down stereotypes about women in audio is essential in changing that culture. I have applied for audio jobs where I wasn’t hired simply because I wasn’t seen as “one of the boys” they could share misogynistic jokes with at the console. I don’t want to be judged by my gender; I want to be represented by my work. When I think about how I want to be remembered, I honestly just want to be seen as human. A producer I once worked with told me that many high-profile clients simply want to be treated as people, not projects. That insight really stayed with me. I want my colleagues and collaborators to remember me as approachable, respectful, and creative. At the same time, I hope my work stands out as something new and surprising. At the end of the day, I want to live a meaningful life by pursuing my greatest passion: music.

In our society, there is a constant battle between productivity and fulfillment. Productivity is often associated with money, which can be beneficial as well as harmful. Money only provides a temporary mental sense of fulfillment, and that is why maintaining mental health is a constant struggle. To stabilize ourselves, we have to find a more permanent fulfillment by being productive in a way that is not centered around money. The motive and the process of baking has provided that permanent fulfillment for me. Baking is therapy and turns problems into a beautiful product that can be shared with the ones I love. The motive for baking is often spontaneous. It keeps me busy so I don't fall into bad habits, and it helps me cope with my problems, just like Jessie Muller sings: “ I can twist it into sugar, butter-covered pieces”. My motive can also depend on the tragedy or hardships that people in my community are going through. When my hairdresser Tiffany’s brother died it was very tragic. I am not the confrontational type to call or text, but what I did do was get up at 5 am to make three different kinds of scones. I cut them into hearts and sent them with my mother who was going to drop some things off later that day at her apartment. I did not hear from Tiffany for almost two months, but when I did the first thing she mentioned was the scones. Baking is a language that I use when I am at a loss for words. After I find my motive I move on to the actual process. Unlike cooking, baking is chemistry; it has rules and I find comfort in that. As long as I use the correct ingredients and follow the steps, everything turns out just fine. Of course, living in my house I do not always have the ingredients I need to bake. An example of one of those ingredients would be heavy cream, only Paula Deen would have heavy cream always available in her fridge. Sometimes I do go out and buy ingredients for recipes, but for the most part, I have to work with what I have. Instead of giving up on what I was trying to make, I persevere through and use substitutions with math and science. I see substitutions as an opportunity to experiment and grow rather than a disadvantage. Unlike my Science class at school, I don’t depend on any of this for a grade, it is about the experience. My growing knowledge of baking gives me a sense of purpose. Baking has become a true lifesaver for me. It has allowed me to communicate, find purpose, and grow cognitively. Not everyone has the will, the time, or the energy to bake and that is ok. However, you should find something that makes you feel productive and happy, preferably away from the internet. We all need a stabilizer, something to keep us afloat, mine is baking.

I didn't understand how important memories were until I watched my grandmother lose hers. My grandmother and I are 77 years apart in age, which can make it hard to communicate with one another. Nevertheless, there was always a solution to this predicament, the game of Scrabble. I would play Scrabble every day that I went to visit her, but as she developed Alzheimer's the game become more difficult. Over the summer of 2021, my family spent a good amount of our time in Michigan watching over her while my aunt was out of town. During this time I played many one-on-one games, and it took the utmost amount of patience to get through each one. The games were long, it took her more time to take her turn because of her fleeting short-term memory. I noticed her frustration, however, every time we met she wanted to play. I decided that if the game still made her happy then nothing else mattered. It didn't matter the game took so long, it didn't matter that we both cheated, and it didn't matter that she still beat me every time. It was how I expressed my love, by being patient through every turn. Over Thanksgiving break I made the heartbreaking realization that Scrabble would no longer be possible, her short-term memory was essentially gone. My grandmother is not dead, but I am already in the process of saying goodbye. The game of Scrabble will always have a special place in my heart because of her. This is only one example of a memory that has shaped me into the person I am today, a person who will always show kindness and love through patience, even when the recipient cannot return the favor.

The question, “what is the meaning of life“, is something many people in my generation struggle with. This struggle can be broken down to three issues facing Gen Z: lack of experience, climate change, and mental health. Right now Gen Z is between the ages of 9 and 24, meaning an overwhelming amount of us don't have the same life experiences as other generations. In this age group the psychology stage identity v role confusion comes into play, meaning that we are still figuring out how we fit into society. With this, asking us what the meaning of life is right now is likely going to change. The next issue is climate change, everyday natural disasters caused by climate change are becoming more common. With this knowledge Gen Z has a more grim look on the future because we know that this may affect our life in drastic deadly ways we cannot control. Which brings us to the final issue, mental health. Gen Z has the highest rates of anxiety and depression, which makes the question”what is the meaning of life” almost impossible to pathom. However at the end of the day, what I personally think the meaning of life is, is to experience change. Change can be negative and positive, without it our world would be boring and not worth living in. So although my generation faces many obstacles, we are creating the change that may help future generations. The struggle, the grasp, the motivation to keep going, that is the feeling that is most important.

One piece of art that inspires me is Black Star Family by Bisa Butler. The artwork of Bisa Butler was a recent discovery of mine, this last summer I took a trip to the Art Institute of Chicago with my art class and saw her work for the first time. After our tour of the Obama portraits, we were free to explore the museum on our own. The vibrant colors poking out behind the glass door of the Butler exhibit immediately drew me in. As soon as I opened the door I was shocked by the beauty and complexity of the first piece. I slowly made my way towards the back of the exhibit with a friend of mine and all of the sudden there it was, the Black Star Family portrait. There are several physical components to this piece that made it my favorite. The first was the background, the use of the two different fabrics with the same color created a unique 3-dimensional effect. The second was the gaze of the man on the right, the father figure. His face has movement but his eyes are still. The eyes stare at you in a deep way, almost like the eyes are staring into your soul. The third was the color, I remember talking with my friend specifically about how the black used for the shadowing was like the blackest black we had ever seen. But of course, the most beautiful thing about this piece was the meaning behind it. Butler uses fabrics and quilting techniques in her artwork to exhibit black culture in America. A quilt can have many different meanings, it's a form of communication. Complexity and culture is what makes life so beautiful and interesting, that is why this piece is so inspiring to me.

One of the biggest obstacles I have ever had to face was the effects of quarantine on my mental health. That first week when the school shut down due to Covid-19 I was in a state of shock, but at the same time, I had no intention of laying around. In the beginning, I was determined to be productive while in quarantine. In order to do this, I would keep myself busy; I would wake up early and ride my bike to all the parks around my Chicago neighborhood, admiring the sunrise while listening to some random podcast. In a way, it replicated my normal routine of taking the city bus in the morning, except this time the sight of empty sidewalks haunted me. Unfortunately, after the beginning months of the pandemic passed, I lost this routine; my goals had faded, and I became disoriented. Mornings, afternoons, and evenings were all swept together in a melting pot. When the next school year rolled around and I was determined to get my routine back to where it was before the pandemic, in preparation for going back to “real school”. I started a second job at a local coffee shop in March 2021 to earn more money while I was granted the freedom of online learning. This job re-trained me to wake up and leave the house at a reasonable time, multitask, and deal with difficult people. These were all skills that I could apply to full capacity in-person learning. As of now, my senior year, I have redefined what my day looks like after living in pandemic limbo for almost two years. Nothing will return to the way it once was, but as long as I have my routine nothing can stop me on my road to success.

The song that inspires me most is "We're Going To Be Friends" by the White Stripes. I play many songs on my guitar, and although I know how to play a soulful and complex “Black Hole Sun” by Sound Garden or a beautiful fast pace “ Blackbird” by The Beatles on the guitar, it is nothing compared to the steady pitter-patter of the song I love most. The vibrations of this song create a full sound, an aura that surrounds me like a hug, telling me everything is going to be ok. This is what has pushed me to keep putting effort into the people I collaborate with even if they didn't give me that same level of effort back, because I do not fixate on their thoughts about me. Altogether this is what grounds me, music allows me to cope and keep living my life. What I want to share with people is this powerfulness of music, but not necessarily by performing. When deciding on what I wanted my future to look like I was drawn to the world of sound engineering. I discovered this world during the pandemic when I took a sound engineering course virtually at my highschool. It showed me that in addition to creating music, I am also interested in the way things sound and why they sound that way. Sound engineering includes components of music, but not music alone. That's why I want to pursue it as a career, because it focuses on technical aspects while also still being creative. And if it doesn't work out, I’ll always have “We're Going To be Friends” by the white stripes to reassure me and send me on my way to discover other opportunities.