When you find yourself feeling exhausted, talentless, and miserable, what gets you going again? Are you driven to work exponentially harder to compensate for your shortcomings, hoping to overcome the slump by sheer work ethic? Or do you give yourself a complete break, which is refreshing at first but when prolonged only compounds the lack of productivity?
This is a dilemma I find myself in often. As a young musician, it is easy to constantly compare myself to others and feel that the only solution is to double my efforts. However, burnout is a high risk for aspiring artists, and I know I can only push myself so far before collapsing. On the other hand, when I take things easy and give myself plenty of relaxation time, I feel like I should be using the gifts I have for something beautiful, not just sitting around.
So I feel guilty when I do work and guilty when I don't. Add looming college auditions, self-imposed perfectionist standards, and a pandemic, and it's a recipe for disaster.
One afternoon a few weeks ago, I was particularly feeling the effects of all three. Even though I have been playing violin for fourteen years, I was in one of those moods where it seemed like it was pointless. I wasn't sure why I did it anymore, why I should spend so much time on something that I thought had limited visible results.
In addition to my practicing schedule, I teach about twenty violin and piano students. That afternoon, I had an introductory lesson with a six-year-old boy whose mother informed me he had high-functioning autism. I had never worked with a special needs student before, but I did as much research as I could, made the studio very clean and organized, and prepared a number of resources, having no idea what to expect.
I smiled, was as cheerful and patient as possible, and gave the boy his very own piano book to take home. Everything went very well, but after half an hour of pretending to be happier than I was, I didn't exactly have more energy, and my mood continued downhill.
A few hours later I checked my email. There was a message from the mother of the student which read, "I just wanted to let you know that he has been working on his book ever since we got home. Thanks so much for everything."
I was floored.
All day, I had been stressing about my future. Would I make it? What school would I get into? How hard would I have to work for scholarships? Was practicing violin worth it if I couldn't end up a professional? Was I a good musician if I didn't get paid?
But this little boy had just started playing piano that afternoon, and I realized his instant, inherent love of music put my worrying and negativity to shame. Did it really matter if I never played in Carnegie Hall? Accolades from a crowd of sophisticated concert-goers may add to my perceived value as a player, but the joy I had given him in a thirty-minute piano lesson in my basement was priceless. In a way, he was already a better musician than me, because he did it for the right reasons: not for ambition, praise, or money, but rather for the sake of discovery.
In ten seconds, that text message turned my whole day around and taught me a lesson I have not forgotten. There will always be hundreds (or thousands) of musicians better than me, but that is irrelevant because I DO have something of value to share. I find working with children, especially those with special needs or other difficult situations, extremely rewarding, because I can see it change their lives in ways I can never predict. I don't teach just because I have to make money, or because I "can't make it" as a performer. I teach because I find true value and beauty in every single human being I meet. I teach because the grin of a seven-year-old who is showing her daddy how she can play Three Blind Mice is the best paycheck there is. I teach because music was never meant exclusively for the most talented: throughout history, it was meant to be shared.
Over the next several years, things won't be perfect and I know I'll be in many more ruts. But my love for creating moments of joy for others motivated me beyond my doubts. I'll still work hard, but with less guilt, because really, what I think of my own playing doesn't matter. what matters is that others are moved to laughter and tears by what I do for them.