Every life is worth living and hope is possible, even in traumatic experiences. Children are our future generation, I believe it is my calling to help them grow into the leaders and role models they will be as adults. However, many children face challenges growing up, especially while facing trauma. Through experiences I have had professionally and personally, I believe I can be that counselor that helps children become functional adults. Overall, we all need to pay close attention to our own mental health because it affects every aspect of life, but it is especially important to support children's well-being as they grow. All my life,I have worked with children from volunteering at my local church to working at the Boys and Girls Club to the local school district and area daycares. I have experience with all ages of children. Pursuing a career with children, I often found myself making art with them and watching them express themselves. Certain times we would also have heart to heart talks about life, and I would encourage them. For instance, I saw the power of art to assist in mental health was as an art teacher. I had a fifth-grade girl in my class in deep despair. She had become withdrawn and depressed and was behind in her work. I encouraged her by saying I really enjoyed her art, and I was willing to spend time with her before school to help her catch up. Over the next weeks, she expressed her feelings in her drawings and paintings, and her mood began to lift as she smiled and laughed, something she had not done in quite a while. This instance gave me hope that I can help children, and she has not been the only one. Two years ago, my brother took his own life leaving a wife and several children in the aftermath. While grieving for my brother, I invested my time in helping his children heal. My heart ached for them, and I spent extra time with them making art and keeping memories of their father alive. Throughout time I have noticed growth in their ablility to express themselves more freely and talk more openly about their dad. Giving everyone my utmost respect, no matter their age, is important and values their minds. Working together for the betterment of their lives we can heal from trauma and overcomed grief resulting in a clearer path to a fulfilling life. Even in the depths of depression, creativity can come in the form of artistic expression like creating music, writing, and dance. These activities enlighten others because even in depression, their creativity can thrive. In pursuing their interests, they can find things in life more meaningful. During counseling, my client and I will discuss the things that burden emotionally, and the things they cannot express, they will do through art. My desire to be a counselor not only comes from wanting to help children sort out their emotions, but also being so inspired by the counselor I had. I found an effective counselor who helped me get to the root of my struggles and value myself and those around me better. She gave me options to encourage and comfort myself. I wish that my brother had been able to have such a relationship with his therapist, perhaps we would be celebrating my career path together. As a counselor I would like help children navigate and thrive in their healing from depression and trauma. As a counselor, i hope to help children know how valuable they are not only to others but also to themselves.

My dream job is to be a clinical mental health counselor or a doctor who works with children that has suffered trauma, whether it’s working with kids who witnessed a school shooting, had a parent die from suicide, suffered from child abuse, or going through a parent’s divorce. Qualities I believe are important for this career is patience, empathy, wisdom, listening skills, experience, and initiation. I would like to be that counselor or doctor the children can talk to knowing I care. I will listen and I will help them. First, I would like the room to be comfortable, filled with items they can fidget with or attractive items that may strike a conversation and stimulating toys they can play with to unlock their thought processes. In my willingness, I would allow them to play their own way and interact if invited, or if I see a need or if they have a question. In giving the children attention, I would make sure it is at at their own pace. In the room maybe the caregiver who I may also work with building stronger bonds between them. Sometime children are very upset and need someone to listen, and not to hear someone say you are okay, stop crying. But to be patient and empathetic and say something, I understand you are upset right now, how can we make this better? If they are grieving and want that deceased person back, I would talk about that person. What did you like about that person? How did you have fun? Sharing memories is almost like having the person with us again. In doing this I am teaching the child how to self-regulate, using experience and wisdom from research and personal experience. In being intuitive, I know when to step in and help someone when needed. In working with the child, I would like them to walk away feeling better about themselves and their situation. And when things get difficult to be able on their own remember what do, since we talked about it. In the child’s eyes and those surrounding that individual to also see improvement in relationships. After being a Clinical Mental Health Counselor for a while, I would then like to open my own Therapeutic Arts Center. The arts center would include play therapy, art therapy, music therapy and dance therapy specific for traumatized children. And if I feel like challenging myself further, I would then like to go back to school for my doctorate and oversee other counselors and therapists and travel to other states that have suffered trauma like school shootings or natural disasters or even foreign countries that suffer religious conflict and persecution also guiding people through that sort of trauma. With my dream career I would like to help my local community first, then my country and finally the world.

Through various tragedies and loss in my family I have learned effective ways to help children in the midst of their grief and trauma. I would like to use art and play therapy to help children build resilience and healing through from loss. Mental health seems to have been a frequent obstacle in my family. Life just seemed hard for my mom at every turn. My dad always seemed disappointed in us and himself. I grew up feeling like I wasn’t "good enough." Classes seemed hard for me and making new friends was difficult. My brother also struggled with mental illness and attempted suicide multiple times. Everyone had their private struggles. As a result of these unfortunate incidents in my family, I became increasingly interested in mental health. As a child, I felt the one thing I did well was drawing, so in college, I studied art. As I subsequently worked for the local school district, Boys and Girls club, and local daycares, I was able to help some of these high-risk kids in ways I wish I would have been helped as a child myself. As my love for kids grew from my teens to my adulthood, I often used art while working with children. Throughout the years, I have learned that play and art therapy helps children communicate and heal more efficiently. Earning a Masters in Clinical Mental Health and working with kids who suffer from trauma and grieving would allow me to help children with a variety of therapies such as art and play therapy. Children often enjoy communicating through both of these expressive activities which can enhance other therapies such as Trauma Focused Cognitive Therapy. Unfortunately, I do have first hand experience helping children heal through the medium of art. My brother and I both struggled with suicidal tendancies, and sadly, he was successful in a final attempt, leaving behind a wife and four young children. I devoted my time to help those kids recover and remember their father. We did activities he often had done with them, and we created art about him too. The kids and I enjoyed our time together as we seemed to be helping each other heal. While processing my grief over my brother, my counselor encouraged me to continue to help my family get through this. She helped me get to the root of my challenges and to value myself and those around me better. She gave me options to encourage and comfort my hurting self. As a professional Counselor, I would like to open a center of arts for traumatized children and create a space for healing and play. Holding me back from any successful suicidal attempts was the hopeful knowledge that I could help children like myself heal from the things that challenged their growth. Art has helped me empower so many children--I have lost count. I now see how much it means to know that I have lived to help many children, and I would like to help many more when I become a Clinical Mental Health Counselor.

I am the proud wife of Veteran Michael Hilson. In our 22 years together, we have been through three mobilizations including two deployments while raising two children. Now that our children are almost adults, I am pursuing my Master’s at the University of Wisconsin-Superior. It is my current aspiration to be a Clinical Mental Health Counselor for children struggling with trauma and grief. We all want to make a difference in our community. When my husband was nineteen, he enlisted in the Wisconsin Army National Guard following in his grandfather’s, aunt’s, and mother’s footsteps. He began as a communication specialist, then became a logistics specialist, and completed his career as a human resources specialist until he retired after 24 years as a First Sergeant. He served a year in Kuwait and a year in Iraq. Our son wants to follow in his footsteps and enlist in the Wisconsin Army National Guard to be a helicopter mechanic. He is also interested in being an engineer like his great-grandfather was in World War II. During WWII, he built bridges that made pathways for soldiers to reach their destinations, saving many lives. Even though my grandfather was injured he made a significant difference. Likewise, I have a dream of my own in desiring to make a difference in the lives of traumatized children where the need is great but often overlooked. Once I attend graduate school, I would like to obtain my professional goals in studying play therapy for children and adolescents. I hope to do a practicum and internship at the Family and Child Center in La Crosse, WI. After I graduate, I would like to work at a clinic, center, or hospital. Eventually, I plan on opening my practice, like a Center of the Arts just for Trauma victims where we can offer therapies that include art, dance, music, and play. Children are often treated for many things except trauma, but through languages of the arts and play therapy children speak more freely in a world they understand. With proper direction, they can receive healing from post-traumatic thinking. I look forward to engaging in play and art therapies with youngsters and being a part of a community of therapists that benefit these children. It is a family tradition to serve our community, and we may do it in a variety of ways. My husband, my grandfather, and in-laws served in the military, and my son desires to join in that tradition. I want to serve our community’s children who suffer from trauma and grief by being their counselor and engaging in art and play therapies.

Pursuing a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling came after my brother’s suicide because I wanted to help children like his who were grieving from a trauma. Through all this grief, I think not only of his children but also of the many hurting children and adults who have experienced childhood trauma. This scholarship funding will help me pay for tuition, fees, and books that will prepare me to build up these children holistically and compassionately. As I am doing my best to emotionally support my nieces and nephews, I have been researching methods for helping children suffering from parental suicide. With my brother’s children, we share memories and create art projects about him that remind them of their dad. The degree I am pursuing will help me more effectively work with grieving and traumatized children therapeutically, so they can see that life is worth living. Among the work I have done with children, I have found that art is one of the best therapies as it gives children an opportunity to express themselves and their feelings. As an art teacher, I had students sculpt the busts of someone special to them and draw what makes them happy. Art is a great tool for healing as it opens up individuals' imaginations. Art also releases negative emotions and replaces them with holistic and constructive ways to process difficult things. The artistic process intersects the different aspects of healing that can affect our whole being: physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional. In the act of creating art, the mind makes an abstract thought into a physical artifact by sculpture, painting, or drawing. When we are engaged in creating art, the physical movement of the body releases energy into our creation. Art uplifts the soul, like a desired destination place or even a state of being. The passion poured into the creative process engages our spirit and redeems our suffering, making something beautiful and expressive which leads to a holistic healing experience. Pursuing this Master's degree will give me the tools, theories, and methods necessary to be a more effective counselor, allowing me to give back to my community. While I am grateful for my husband’s military benefits, this education will require several thousand dollars to pay for tuition, fees, books, and other related expenses. Increasingly, with this new knowledge, I will help others become healthier mentally by teaching them ways to rethink life using their whole being. Holistic counseling opens past traumas, allowing children and adults to process their short- and long-term goals for healing and exercise solutions. In the counseling discussion, we think more clearly and find relief in problem-solving while working towards a more positive outlook. As we consider resolutions for healing a wounded spirit, we invigorate reasons to live and find something worth fighting for. I have worked with kids and created art for most of my life, so going to Graduate School for Clinical Mental Health Counseling will be a significant movement forward to use this background effectively as I follow my calling. Many people in this world are hurting, and more resources and support are needed, especially children whose trauma is often overlooked. If children are treated when they are young, then we likely prevent additional suicides and make a big difference in the lives of individuals mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I appreciate you considering me for this scholarship as it will not only change my life but also those who are in my future counseling chair rebuilding their lives.

Depression has taught me a lot. Death of loved ones, chronic pain, self-esteem, and illness have provoked my depression. My brother's death has made a lasting impression on me because it changed me for the better. I have changed my career from childcare to clinical mental health counselor. Depression and loss have helped me to develop a greater sensitivity to other's emotions, and I desire to help them grow through their pain, as I have, and to celebrate their lives--even while they are under construction. My mental health, and the tragic loss of my brother to suicide, have given my family and me significant challenges to overcome. Primary to my concerns were my brother's elementary-aged children who needed some way to process their father's passing constructively. Spending extra time with them, sharing memories while we played and making art projects about him began the healing process. As a counselor, I want to help children who struggle with depression and trauma along with their other relationships. Josh's death inspired me to go back to school this spring to pursue my Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the University of Wisconsin-Superior. Having worked with children all my life in a variety of settings--Boys & Girls Club, in the classroom, and as a Daycare Teacher--I want to help children on another level. Using play and art therapy with my students and my nieces and nephews, I know that this approach can greatly benefit those processing loss and emotional trauma. My mental health journey began as a teenager. I contemplated suicide, but as I considered what kind of role model, I would be to the children with whom I volunteered at church, I stopped before completing the act. The healing process was not smooth, but it was upward, and I found an effective counselor who helped me get to the root of my problems and value myself and those around me better. She gave me options to encourage myself and comfort my hurting self. I wish that my brother had been able to have such a relationship with his therapist, perhaps we would be celebrating my career path together. As a counselor, I would like to help children navigate and thrive in their healing from depression and trauma. This summer I attended a CAMS (Collaborative Assessment & Management of Suicidality) workshop. We discussed how to talk to suicidal people. During the conference, it was mentioned reasons why choosing death is an option, reasons that choosing life is an option by creating a safe place for them to think. We are being empathetic, caring and understanding; therefore, removing the stigma of suicide. The problem with the mental health industry is there are not enough professionals. Family doctors end up prescribing mental health medicine because psychiatrists are booked up. It occurs to me that if patients like my own brother had more medical options to help him make his life more meaningful, it could have made a difference. It is hard to imagine from a child’s perspective what it feels like to lose a parent to suicide and even question how much they matter to others. Showing my brother’s kids that they matter and that their dad loved them has been a positive and effective healing experience. Professionally, I would like to help children find a reason to live and cope with their trauma and grief. Then they achieve a goal of healing that allows them to move forward as functional and purposeful adults able to enjoy life and all it has to offer.

My experience with my mother-in-law’s cancer did make a significant impact on my education and career goals. I was planning on graduating with a bachelor’s in art education and I graduated with a bachelor’s in art. I also had to turn down an apprenticeship, by putting my family first. I saw how grief affected my family especially my husband and my daughter in losing a mother and a nana. My mother-in-law’s death left me feeling like I had big shoes to fill, especially in helping children. My mother-in-law’s cancer caused me as a college student to make sacrifices for my family. First, I was invited to do an art apprenticeship for a mural in California with a well-known artist. My husband was struggling managing the with our young kids and his mother’s diagnosis, so he told me to turn it down. I always thought it would have opened even more doors for me and my art if I had taken it. But I understand family comes first. A year later my mother-in-law passed away from uterine cancer and my husband was overwhelmed with grief, and I was having problems at school, so I had to graduate with a major in art instead of art education. Beyond grieving for my mother-in-law, I found in my grieving for another loved one, my dear brother from suicide, many years later, my calling to go back to school for a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I have watched how children grieve. My daughter lost her nana, her best friend and she was devastated, my niece lost a couple of grandparents and nearly took her own life, my nephew lost his father and turned to anger by destroying property, then my other niece became obsessed with her father, my brother, and every picture there was of him. I would like to help children specifically those who are suffering from grief and trauma to find fulfillment in their life again. With art and play therapy I would like to help kids heal. Even as young as babies and toddlers work with attachment with their caregivers and attuning together. When children lose a caregiver, they must learn from new bonds with other caregivers. It is interesting how grief can change a person’s outlook on life. My mother-in-law left big shoes to fill. She was a foster mom to so many children and adopted a handful of them plus had three naturally, because she had a big heart. In doing this she helped a lot of children with her life and cancer short-circuited her life. Now I want to pick up her mantel and continue to help children in need like she did, but in a more professional way being a Clinical Mental Health Counselor.

A strong work ethic requires focus and determination to complete daily things and by doing them successfully. While focusing on the work that needs to be done efficiently, with determination I make my goal my top priority. Daily, these five traits support my activities, relationships, and my professional aspirations such as being a mother, daycare teacher, wife and friend. Through health problems, everyday struggles and the grief of loved ones passing I have been resilient. I accomplish being unselfish by putting other's needs before my own and gladly serving them with my whole heart. I am focused and determined to excel in my abilities day by day and become the person I am meant to be. My resilience makes my work ethic possible by keeping me determined. I gain resilience in healthy ways by having positive friends and, a supportive spouse, even while doing art and listening to music. In my resilience when recovering from my brother's death from suicide, I found my calling. I am striving to get my master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling for children by doing art and play therapy. Children often respond well. by doing art and play therapy. There is such a need for children's counselors. I desire to help children out of darkness and into the light of a healthy mindset. My goal will be that every person will find a new identity and perspective. by doing things they love they find helpful ways to express themselves and find positive aspects to enjoy life. Relationships make resilience possible, the community aspect of my life is very strong, and it requires clear communication skills. As an art teacher, I had a fifth-grade girl who treasured the one-on-one time she received. I saw great improvements in her effort. As an art teacher, I was part of the community that helped troubled youth. Even with my brother's kids, I give each child positive attention, we do art, play together, and share memories of him. As a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, I plan to help kids like this recover from their traumas. I desire to use communication skills professionally in leadership to help others, towards wholeness. By doing this I take the focus off myself and make their needs a priority in appropriate ways. While leading by a good example, I am making a difference. by building others up, that through understanding they can be resilient. As a leader to establish healthy confidence in children so that when they grow older, they can do anything they set their minds to. I become an effective Mental Health Counselor because I have built a foundation for myself and use this as a platform to support my daycare children, family, and future clients. In my future career, I will be a strong leader, by guiding my client to a more positive outlook on life. My clients, communicating with me their concerns and dreams will contribute to a healing outlook on life. As a counselor, I would be resilient by not taking their pain as my own but focusing on how I can help them. Unselfishly I will be attuned to their needs and figuring the best resolution. In determination, my client and I will come up with the best result for treatment. With much effort, I will gain an understanding of their perspectives leading to children feeling better about their traumatic experiences.

As an art teacher, I had a fifth-grade girl in my class in deep despair. She was getting behind. I encouraged her by saying I enjoyed her art, and that I was willing to spend time with her before school to help her catch up. When children are down and feel invisible being noticed in a positive light is a big deal. I want to be that encourager for everyone else that struggles. Suicide is the 8th leading cause of death for ages 5 to 11 and suicide rates began to rise during Covid according to the Child Welfare League of America. CDC reports since COVID-19 there has been a 2% to 8% increase in suicides among young people. During Covid social interaction was limited and resources were lacking. I desire to help children who struggle with trauma and suicidal thinking. Traumatized children need compassion, creativity, and affirming therapeutic approaches to their healing. Children who suffer from more than one trauma are more likely to be suicidal. Throughout my life, I had my share of trauma and watched my family go through traumas too. When I was one year old a gun went off a foot away, because someone was being reckless with a firearm. With the hearing loss, my social life was awkward. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 18 to 24. When I was eighteen, I was bullied in high school and accused of being someone I despised. It was so awful; I almost took my own life. It was the thought of helping children that kept me alive. During the year 2021 during a high rate of suicide, my brother took his own life. He left behind kids who called him “Dad”. The youngest daughter was one, the youngest son was seven, and an eleven-year-old daughter. The youngest daughter cried inconsolably for days since one of her main caregivers was gone. The youngest son became very angry and began to damage property. The oldest daughter became obsessed with her dad and all his pictures. I give each positive attention, we do art, play together, and share memories of him. I want to be a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, to help kids like this recover from their traumas. In the great loss of my brother, I want to be there for his kids. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, one in seven children suffer from trauma every year by witnessing an event that is scary, dangerous, violent, or life-threatening before the age of eighteen. The shock children experience triggers a reaction that is not only instantaneous but can also be replayed in flashbacks. Examples of traumas that affect children are childhood sexual or physical abuse, witnessing domestic violence, bullying, community or school violence, natural disasters, loss of a loved one, neglect or serious illness or accident. There are so many young children under the age of three that go undiagnosed and untreated for mental illness. Doctors turn to medication for the answers, neglecting the fact there are other aspects whether it's relational, emotional, situational, or circumstantial. Most of them are never treated for trauma unless it is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which some childhood traumas do not fall under this category. Trauma can cause mental illness. Many healthcare providers often assume that infants do not have mental illness implies authors Lillas and Turnbill in their book Infant/Child Mental Health when it has been proven that 16% of infants do states the American Academy of Pediatrics. Mental illness shows itself when a baby or young child is delayed, has anger issues, loss of appetite or socially doesn’t interact normally by responding to usual cues. Automatically Healthcare providers assume something other than mental illness. For example, if there is a language delay, the child needs speech therapy or if the child is having problems concentrating, diagnose them with Attention Deficit Hyper-Active Disorder instead of treating them for trauma. Trauma is when the stress level of an individual is highly activated and develops stress responses that never go back to a balanced normal and haunt them in a variety of different ways for the rest of their life without proper therapy. Proper therapy, early intervention treatment and nurturing life experiences increase resiliency for children who have experienced trauma. In Trauma Focused Cognitive Therapy a child goes through changing the thought process of the trauma to make it less upsetting. Dyadic therapy is recommended for children ages three and under. When a relationship between an infant/toddler and caregiver is struggling, it may be the caregiver suffered a childhood trauma when younger that was attributed to a mental illness. If the infant/toddler has suffered from a trauma and needs extra reassurance from the caregiver. According to my research Trauma Focused Cognitive Therapy and Dyadic therapy are the most effective with working with children, but things like art therapy and play therapy are included in these treatments as well. Throughout my experiences, I have been a firm believer in cognitive therapy. It surely has helped me through my depression and my grieving process to think differently about life, but I really enjoy art therapy because I can express myself without words. Painting and creating life-size artwork of my brother helped me get through the pain. In doing art with my brother’s kids, I have seen how it helps us. We share memories. Art is a tool of communication. As an art teacher, working at the Boys and Girls Club and multiple daycares, I watched as kids lighten up doing art. What motivates me the most about the brain and early childhood experience can influence healthy brain maturity. And traumas can also affect brain development. This is one of the reasons, I advocate for proper therapy to protect brain development and improve quality of life. As I prepare to be a Clinical Mental Health Counselor. I have researched reading books about childhood trauma and attended a Suicide Prevention Summit. In my research on how trauma affects brain development, I found some interesting facts about what happens to the brain after trauma and how the brain heals after therapy. While I was reading Your Life After Trauma by Rosenthal, I came to realize the limbic brain can heal itself with proper therapy. I also attended a CAMS (Collaborative Assessment & Management of Suicidality) workshop. We discussed how to talk to suicidal people. During the conference it was mentioned through CAMS discussed reasons why choosing death is an option, and reasons why choosing life is an option. In doing this we create a safe place for them to think. We are being empathetic, caring and understanding; therefore, removing the stigma of suicide. Having faith is important also to believe you will obtain that hope to choose life. Through my research, I have written essays and practiced art therapy with children and for myself. I am interested in Dyadic Therapy with infants and young children. This can make a huge difference for mothers and infant/young children struggling with mental illness or childhood trauma. Dyadic Therapy is when a parent/caregiver and infant/young child go through treatment together and cover all forms of interactions including the necessities of the parent’s and infant/ young child’s health. The goal of the treatment is to bring understanding in creating a harmonious relationship between them and make sure all their needs are being met. My one-year-old niece who lost her daddy to suicide. He was her favorite adult and now he’s gone. Since then, I’ve seen more bonding and nurturing with her stepparent than with her mother. I think dyadic therapy could help my niece bond with her mother. I had my own traumatic experience as a one-year-old when the gunshot near my ear left me feeling odd with others. My parents knew I was different but were too afraid to get help for me. I believe dyadic therapy could make a big difference for traumatized young ones and their caretaker. I look forward to receiving formal training in for Clinical Mental Health Counseling program to learn additional strategies and effective therapies. I am a creative person who has patience, virtue, understanding artistic, and problem-solving abilities. There is a need for children’s counselors, especially for ages three and under. If these children under three do not receive the proper treatment the effects from the trauma could last a lifetime. These young ones often don’t get the treatment they need, since there are not enough members in the field with the expertise. Children often respond well to doing art and playing out their emotions and experiences. In doing art together the fifth-grade girl treasured the one-on-one time she received. We laughed and talked, and I saw a great improvement in her effort in her art. As an art teacher, I was part of the community that helped a troubled youth. After all, like the African Proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a child.” In providing a safe, healthy environment for children, they are given the security, they need to develop and flourish, and to be able to realize their hopes and dreams. Helping children through trauma, assisted me in wanting to be a clinical mental health counselor. In helping a child heal from trauma(s) we can prevent suicide.

Chronic pain has taught me to reexamine my life and shaped my values and attitudes by how I view pain, emotions, and relationships. For years I have struggled with chronic pain, I believe I displayed tenacity in the determination to seek help from medical professionals. It was a long painful journey, but eventually, I received answers and relief with counseling, medication, and surgeries. In Spring of 2017 my legs hurt so badly I could hardly walk, and I didn’t know why. Only sitting would temporarily alleviate it. I crawled upstairs even used a walker at times the pain was so intense. I was in my mid-thirties, too young to have this pain. But that wasn’t the end I had pain and numbness in my arms and hands. I had COVID three times and had problems breathing and sustaining my energy. These ailments challenged me to be persistent in getting better. I was an art teacher at the time and had to quit my job because the pain in my legs hurt so badly, that I was on the brink of tears. When doctors examined me they said I had chronic pain. That wasn’t good enough I wanted to get better. While I was getting an MRI being checked for MS. They found a nodule on my thyroid after an ultrasound confirmed I had Hashimoto Thyroiditis. After Covid, I had to quit my job in daycare because I couldn’t keep up with my workload and my bosses disagreed with how many days I was asking off for appointments. It was challenging but all the talks, appointments and struggles with personal relationships and even employers, but I don’t remember a time I have been more persistent in my life. I had to go to pulmonary rehab to build my endurance to be able to function normally. I have been questioned by family and friends for going to the doctor so often for help and have been told it all in my head. Since I have experienced chronic pain, I have realized my emotional mindset can increase my pain, so I have learned to re-focus my attention on more positive things. A physical therapist counseled me on how to control my thoughts so my anxiety would not intensify my pain. I also had a professional counselor give me suggestions on activities to distract me from my pain by doing things I love like doing art. She also encouraged me to exercise and take baby steps in getting housework done. The Rheumatologist put me on Hydroxychloroquine. It helped me walk and took my pain away. Physical and Occupational therapy weren’t successful in lessening the pain and numbness in my hands. I had carpal tunnel surgery in both hands that took all the numbness away and most of the pain. With surgery, medication, and lots of therapy I had no more problem symptoms. Trusting my intuition, increased my value of life. While having faith in Health Care Providers, their wisdom has become mine. In having a new outlook on pain control, pain is no longer a hurdle I cannot handle. The human body is amazing when I recovered and built up my exercise endurance, I felt so much better. Because of better mental health pain doesn’t feel so bad. With my exercise endurance, I have been able to work in childcare again. I currently have learned how to control my brain, so I feel better emotionally and physically. Now I can appreciate others' struggles and aspirations also assisting them on their outlook on life as a counselor.

On top of Olo’upena waterfalls on the island of Molokai Hawaii lies a palace for Barbie in the jungle, the most wondrous place of all. The location is so high and remote only helicopters, boats and hikers can reach it. Although it can be viewed from the cliffs in the air or in a boat in the water. To enter from the water there is a single stairway on each side that will take you to the towers’ entrances. The helicopter landing is on top of the towers and the entrance is from the top. There are two towers so high and mighty, as stone cylinders they stand with a horizontal skywalk that connects them. Below the skywalk is the rushing waterfall. The towers and skywalk are full of bright big windows with cathedral curves on the tops. In the skywalk is the dining room with a long table and chairs. On one side of the skywalk is a glass-walled kitchen with glass cabinets complete with a marble refrigerator, wood stove, and a breakfast nook by a huge window overlooking the mountains and the waterfall. On the other end of the skywalk is a greenhouse. In the greenhouse, there are tropical flowers and fruits, complete with many kinds of vegetables. The greenhouse even includes a butterfly house. One tower holds a beautiful ballroom. The ballroom has tall windows with long fuchsia curtains. Accented indigo carpet that sparkles and opal floors. The ceiling is raw turquoise stone. On the top floor of the ballroom is the master suite. The bath has its outdoor jacuzzi under a private waterfall in front of a rock wall, where bathing takes place. The bathroom would have a golden toilet covered in geometric white designs. The rock wall will continue in the bathroom and will gradually become more golden. There will be a large mirror over the standing sink. In the bedroom is a skylight to see all the stars at night. Complete with a walk-in closet that holds the most beautiful gowns covered in gems and sparkles in the deepest richest colors and high heels in every color. The bedroom would have deep purple satin sheets, a royal purple bedspread with silver butterflies on it with a furry white carpet. The dresser would be metallic purple with silver handles. The walls would be opal brick. The floors would be grey wood. There would be a cozy fireplace at the foot of the bed next to a patio door with a small deck lookout. The second tower has a luxurious library. In the library are also instruments of any kind and books of every subject imagined. The library is all white marble with carvings of stone, to honor heroes of the past. A mural of heaven is painted on the ceiling. In the library would be a living room with a white leather couch and comfy recliner chairs. The bookshelves would be rustic walnut with sliding ladders to reach all the books. The floor has wooden frames with white marble tile in the center. Up above the library is an artist studio, filled with canvases of every size and paints of every kind. There is a throne there for models to pose, and miscellaneous items for backdrops. Barbie has her own stylish metallic purple helicopter; a stone boathouse completed with a motorboat. Treehouses are at various locations surrounding the palace for photograph lookouts. Her house is open to guests only. Barbie enjoys solace to entice her creativity, but annually holds a Gala to show off her art and as a fundraiser to preserve her jungle.

When I went to Walt Disney World my favorite place was the museum about Walt Disney and his first drawings of Mickey Mouse. It was then I began to admire the resilience of Walt Disney. As an artist myself, it can be difficult to captivate others in your world of art. Even with several setbacks Walt Disney, came back stronger every time and Mickey Mouse was a prime example of that. Walt Disney’s most admirable traits were his ability to persevere, be determined, be a risk-taker and remain optimistic. Overall, my favorite thing about Disney is that everywhere you look at all of Disney's creations, his resilience is evident, Walt Disney never gave up on anything. I hope to be as resilient as he was both as a leader and an artist. There are many memorable examples of Disney’s perseverance in his personal and professional life. He did not have enthusiastic support from his family for his artistic career goals, and he even chose a career that made him feel a bit uncomfortable, particularly in front of the camera. Being an artist has put me in uncomfortable situations, but I grew every time I had to persevere through them. Disney not only persevered, but he was determined: he faced resistance from one city to the development of Disneyland but continued to search for an even larger plot on which to his project. When he built his dream park, he established a center of art education by combining a music school and an art school to create the California Institute of Art. Through his many films and iconic characters as well as this educational legacy, he demonstrated the powerful union of art and music together. I have big dreams of my own, like a Therapeutic Arts Center. His dreams have been an inspiration for mine-combining various arts to uplift other people. Even at the Happiest Place on Earth, the opening day did not run smoothly. In this fun place where parents could take their kids, opening day was 101 degrees, and the Park experienced a plumber strike (forcing Disney to choose toilets over water fountains). These persistent challenges did not deter him from moving forward but fueled his continued innovation. Likewise, I have faced big and small hurdles in pursuing my art, but by persevering, I have been able to successfully share my art with hundreds of people in my local region and even more online. Not only was Disney determined as an entrepreneur but as a pioneering artist who took risks. One of my favorite films is Fantasia which blends music and animation and used Disney's innovative stereo technology. Music is a paintbrush for art in that music creates moods that result in art. Likewise, I have created innovative artistic pieces and have used art therapy with children when they have experienced trauma. I believe Disney's sense of optimism helped him get up from difficult times. The creation of Cinderella came after a strike from his employees. Once the employees unified, the beautiful illustration of Cinderella was formed. This kindly reminds me how some trials don’t last forever and how beautiful things can come from them. When I think of Walt Disney, I think of a resilient individual and leader, and I want to be like him in this way. His failures were stepping stones for success. Even new obstacles did not stop him from trying new ideas. These trials and successes inspire me as an artist to have the power to overcome and never stop taking risks with new ideas. Even unusual ideas can become inspirational to people.

When my brother died by his own hand, I was between jobs and considering further education on the graduate level. As a direct result of his passing, I made the decision to pursue a degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. My decision was solidified by seeing the suffering of our mother and my brother's children and wishing I had the tools to help them effectively work through their grief and find hope. When I was first grieving the loss of my brother to suicide, I had a lot of feelings to sort out. My brother and I thought a lot alike; we understood each other quite well. I began to worry about my own mental illness. I sought medical help shortly after his death because it was such a shock to me. Once I knew I had effective tools in place to help me manage my own mental health, I started helping others. I spent extra time with my brother’s children and with my mother who were all taking his death hard like I was. Sharing good memories and listening to their grief and suffering and helping them understand that they were not at fault for his death, helped them accept his death better and nurture more constructive relationships and communication. Another piece of advice I can give is something that seemed to work for me after I had found a measure of healing: helping others is the ultimate way to help yourself. I found that when I assisted others in feeling better, I felt better too. When losing someone to suicide, it can be easy to give into your own feelings of regret, guilt, and self-pity, but one of the biggest victories you can experience is when you take that energy and invest it in those around you. All my life I worked with children. I helped a first grader who lost his dad to get along with his peers. I spent time with a fifth grader find joy in art again when she was in deep despair. It was my brother’s death and doing art with my niece and nephew and listening to my mother vent that helped me decide to be a counselor. Realizing that they would benefit from effective counseling. As a result, I especially want to focus my career on counseling children through trauma. After a premature death like suicide and recovering from such an incident, the advice I must give is spend time with your loved ones, explore avenues of creativity to release your feelings in a safe environment. I am writing a journal to my brother after his death. I’m asking questions, exploring my feelings, sharing nice stories I have of my brother for his children to read someday. Since they are so young, they may not remember him very well. I created a lot of art to memorialize my brother. I speak positively of him, and not put him down. Speaking down about mental illness is not an option. Suicide is a result of mental illness. We need to encourage others to get help and help them release their emotions creatively. Grief like this can change you, I tried to make sure to make the most of his death for the better. I enrolled in pursuing my Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program so I can help others professionally. I am thankful for this opportunity, but saddened it had to go this way. Especially since the person I wish I could have helped the most is gone.

During my son’s early childhood, he became known as Professor Ben because of his matter of-fact way of explaining ideas in history and science. As an adolescent, Ben moved on to disassembling bikes and go-carts, to in his teen years fixing cars and driving a manual transmission. In my family, Ben is not the only one who shares a passion for how things work, my daughter programs computers and is studying cyber-security. As their mother, I am fascinated by how the brain works-- efficiently storing all our emotions and traumas. As my son Ben modeled for me, I want to know how things work--especially the emotions and the cognitive processes of children. Currently, as a daycare teacher and a parent, I have been interested in how the brain works on an emotional level, how grief impacts those who have lost loved ones, and how they process these feelings. It was the untimely death of my brother that rewrote the pages of my life story. I feel called to help children comprehend and heal from such great losses. After earning a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, I plan to counsel families, children and adolescents by combining specialized theories and human compassion to help them navigate those emotions and traumas so they can make more constructive choices. During counseling sessions, we will discuss their lives as we try to help them see their circumstances through a new perspective. We will build healthier relationships as we sort out their pain and find healing from it. While counseling children, I will be able to assist them in creating a stronger and more hopeful future. Ultimately, I believe I will be able to impact the world by assisting people as they learn to appreciate the challenges in their lives and develop better decision making. As they heal from their past, they face a more positive future contributing to a more functional society overall. In the aftermath of my brother’s death, I met with counselors who encouraged me to express myself through my art and thereby comprehend my feelings better. Then, while looking out for the betterment of my family’s emotions, I found further healing by helping others, especially my brother’s children. What has become clear to me is that my fascination with brain science, and how it works, combines effectively with the healing nature of artistic expression. While I found the full scope of STEAM subjects interesting in my bachelor’s studies, I have gravitated to the emotional health of our minds particularly. The human brain is always generating new ways to improve our world, but it is also victim to our griefs and traumas. In art instruction with school children, I have found that as they creatively express themselves, they begin to heal their minds and emotions. STEAM subjects work well in concert with each other and show us how we can accomplish a lot by using our brains to heal from past wounds and present pain. My son may have found his comfort in finishing the go-cart my brother started, inspiring and furthering his engineering interests. My daughter may be tapping into her heroic nature by studying cybersecurity, and I plan on building a constructive future for myself and others as I earn my Master’s in Counseling. The study of subjects in STEAM has been good to us--the possibilities are endless. The unity of many minds can work together for the good of humanity by understanding themselves and others better.

Throughout my life, I have experienced difficult emotional circumstances, but they have taught me a great deal. When I was a teenager, my self-worth felt so low I almost took my own life, but one thought pulled me out of the darkness. I remembered all the times I had volunteered and worked with young children that looked up to me. If I took my own life, what kind of role model would I be? As I struggled with self-worth in my youth and depression as a young adult, I began to see how important it was to have a strong support network and solid counseling therapy to build my strength and resilience. In adulthood, chronic joint pain brought with it another round of depression, but it was alleviated with medicine, exercise, and counseling. My brother's suicide introduced me to a different kind of grief that I'd never experienced before. I experienced firsthand the serious disruptions mental illness and suicide can bring into a family. I returned to my counselor for help. The most important lesson I have learned in my recovery from mental illness is to look for ways to help others instead of ways that others can help me. By taking my focus off my pain and giving myself a stronger sense of purpose, I found that my emotional health strengthened as well. As a counselor, I believe that I can offer the same kind of effective support to children who need to find a way to navigate the pain and handle life's difficulties with courage and self-worth. My experiences with improving my mental health have helped me form goals, solidify healthy relationships, and transform my understanding of the world. As a counselor, I want to help others focus on the positive things in their lives. I want them to remember the good qualities about themselves. And since I understand many wounds are not necessarily addressed through positive thinking, I wish to pursue additional creative and therapeutic approaches. I believe that when we are depressed, we are in a creative space. Tapping into that creative space can truly generate healing through expressive art. We will discuss what they want from life and how they can apply concrete steps to become the person they want to be and develop their resilience. I truly believe that counseling in a spiritually friendly environment would allow me to help my clients connect with their valuable spiritual side as a part of their holistic healing process. I know that my journey has deepened my spiritual faith which has connected me with a deeper source of healing. I look forward to attending graduate school for my master’s and learning additional effective ways to help a variety of people through counseling. A couple of examples of how my knowledge of mental health adhered to helping others includes an instance of a fifth-grade girl and a first-grade boy. As an art teacher, I worked with a young girl several years ago who was at a low point in her life about to give up, I encouraged her to express herself through art and spent extra time with her. The transformation that took place was amazing as she communicated her feelings through her art projects. She went from being withdrawn and unmotivated to someone who delighted in the play of art and expression. As time went on, she smiled and laughed as we worked together. Additionally, as a Youth Program Specialist for my local Boys & Girls Club, I worked with a little first-grader who had just lost his father and had behavioral issues, especially in getting along with others. I spent a lot of one-to-one time with him talking about his dad and how the boy was handling his father’s death. I negotiated how he and the other kids could get along together and helped them understand and play with one another more cooperatively. His relationship with his peers became more harmonious with each recreational opportunity. As I continued to focus my energy outwardly, my relationships not only improved professionally but personally as well, particularly with my own immediate family. I found it easier to talk to my husband and children and not worry about my insecurities as much. We began to see one another differently and work past misperceptions and have honest conversations about what we were each experiencing. I looked for creative ways to solve conflicts and to seek their input, so our solutions were collaborative. Much of this growth was due to the support of good counselors who helped me work on myself and my relationship with my family members. And in addition to solid counseling, I also find that exercising and walking with my family are important parts of our relationship. I find my mind can think more clearly and logically after a walk and many of those negative feelings are put into perspective and their impact on me is much less. There are ways my perspective of the world has changed since my bouts with mental illness. Besides being more positive and thankful, I have become less materialistic and more into appreciating those around me and my surroundings. Such as basic things like the sunshine on my shoulders I enjoy so much. Besides being outside with the kids I work with in daycare, I often take on adventures biking and walking my dogs. Having a heart to heart conversations with people warm my heart. The conversations are often encouraging like I use to have with my brother. The best thing I learned is to take in every moment and appreciate it the best you can and not waste the depression but be creative during it. There is always a way to treasure life and it usually starts with being grateful and making the effort to help those around me in that way I am improving myself. All these lessons from the past and new things yet to come will help me to become the counselor this world needs me to be.

Throughout my life, I have experienced difficult emotional circumstances, but they have taught me a great deal. As I struggled with self-worth in my youth and depression as a young adult, I began to see how important it was to have a strong support network and solid counseling therapy to build my strength and resilience. As a counselor, I believe that I can offer the same kind of effective support to children who may find a way to avoid some of the pain I experienced or learn how to handle life's difficulties with courage and self-worth. While I was growing up my parents were hard on me, I befriended kids who made me feel superior to them when with everyone else I felt inferior, and I often struggled with my self-worth. At one time my self-worth felt so low I almost took my own life, but one thought pulled me out of the darkness. I remembered all the times I had volunteered and worked with young children that looked up to me. If I took my own life, what kind of role model would I be? In adulthood, my depression came about with struggles with chronic pain, but my depression was elevated with medicine, exercise and counseling. Until my brother took his own life, then I felt despair. I returned to my counselor for help. She encouraged me to reach out and help my family get through the grief. My favorite part was doing art therapy with my brother’s kids to help them process their grief. I also encouraged my parents to talk to their family members about my brother’s death. I too, helped them share the news. The most important lesson I have learned in my recovery from mental illness is to look for ways to help others instead of ways on how others can help you. My niece and nephew are not the only ones I have done art therapy with, nor the only children I have helped through a difficult time. As an art teacher, I worked with a young girl several years ago who was at a low point in her life about to give up, I encouraged her to express herself through art and spent extra time with her. The transformation that took place was amazing as she communicated her feelings through her art projects. She went from being withdrawn and unmotivated to someone who delighted in the play of art and expression. As time went on, she smiled and laughed as we worked together. Additionally, as a Youth Program Specialist for my local Boys & Girls Club, I worked with a little first-grader who had just lost his father and had behavioral issues, especially in getting along with others. I spent a lot of one-to-one time with him talking about his dad and how the boy was handling his father’s death. I negotiated how he and the other kids could get along together and helped them understand and play with one another more cooperatively. His relationship with his peers became more harmonious with each recreational opportunity. As I continued to focus my energy outwardly, my relationships not only improved professionally but personally as well, particularly with my own immediate family. I found it easier to talk to my husband and children and not worry about my insecurities as much. We began to see one another differently and work past misperceptions and have honest conversations about what we were each experiencing. I looked for creative ways to solve conflicts and to seek their input, so our solutions were collaborative. Much of this growth was due to the support of good counselors who helped me work on myself and my relationship with my family members. And in addition to solid counseling, exercising and walking with my family is an important part of our relationship. I find my mind can think more clearly and logically after a walk and many of those negative feeling is put into perspective and their impact on me is much less. Throughout my life, I have learned many lessons from my experiences with mental health that benefit me in my pursuit of being a counselor. As a counselor, I want to help others focus on the positive things in their lives. I want them to remember the good qualities about themselves. And since I understand many wounds are not necessarily addressed through positive thinking, I wish to pursue additional creative approaches. I believe that when we are depressed, we are in a creative space. Tapping into that creative space can truly generate healing through expressive art. We will discuss what they want from life and how they can apply concrete steps to become the person they want to be and develop their resilience. I truly believe that counseling in a faith-based environment would allow me to help my clients connect with their valuable spiritual side as a part of their holistic healing process. I know that my journey has deepened my spiritual faith which has connected me with a deeper source of healing. I look forward to attending graduate school for my master’s and learning additional effective ways to help a variety of people through counseling!