My experience with mental health is one that has not always been sunshine and rainbows. Growing up, I was a very anxious child due to the adverse experiences I underwent. As I reached my teenage years, I had very severe and undiagnosed depression and began self-harming. In both of my households, mental health was not recognized as important and was never taken seriously. While I was a generally sad and depressed person, I typically had great academic performance, was involved in extracurricular activities, and had many friends, which made me a low concern. That’s probably how my issues went undiagnosed until I entered college. However, by the time I entered college, I had already attempted suicide once and that only provoked one counseling session in which, my parents determined I was fine and didn’t need to spend any more time or money on counseling. As I started my undergraduate degree, I finally felt as though I had a place I didn’t have to pretend anymore and my struggles with mental health took over. I spent days, even weeks, holed up in my dorm room, skipping classes, skipping meals, and taking very poor care of myself. I sought out help and began seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist regularly for my mental health issues. Unfortunately, things got worse for me before they got better. I continued to struggle with taking care of myself and my academics suffered immensely. At this point, I felt hopeless, worthless, and like I was a burden to those around me. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t “just feel better” like my family said I should and like I so desperately wanted. I attempted suicide a second time and ended up in the hospital, which then led to voluntary institutionalization. Once I was released, my mother stayed with me for a few weeks to make sure I was going to be okay and not pose a risk to myself anymore. Things eventually got better, but it took years and a college transfer. Eventually, the medication and therapy combination was a right fit and I started to get better. I started to feel like myself again, I made friends, I had hope for my future again, and my academics drastically improved. I wish I could tell you I was never suicidal and never self-harmed again after that, but that wouldn’t be the truth. While things did get better and stay better, there were many relapses and setbacks in the year or two after I transferred universities. I struggled with PTSD, depression, and anxiety for a long time. However, once I found a therapist and medication combination that made me feel stronger, healthier, and safe, I was able to develop healthy coping mechanisms—which led to the end of self-harming and suicidal ideations. This experience with my own mental health is one that changed my goals, career path, outlook on life, and understanding of the world. I realized that having struggles with mental health does not make someone weak, but rather strong for enduring such pain and choosing to fight anyway, regardless of the length or outcome of their battle. I never had anyone who spoke up to protect me, so as an adult and a professional, I will be that person who speaks up and provides a safe place for those children to work through their struggles and traumatic experiences without judgment.

My experience with mental health is one that has not always been sunshine and rainbows. Growing up, I was a very anxious child due to the adverse experiences I underwent. As I reached my teenage years, I had very severe and undiagnosed depression and began self-harming. In both of my households, mental health was not recognized as important and was never taken seriously. While I was a generally sad and depressed person, I typically had great academic performance, was involved in extracurricular activities, and had many friends, which made me a low concern. That’s probably how my issues went undiagnosed until I entered college. However, by the time I entered college, I had already attempted suicide once and that only provoked one counseling session in which, my parents determined I was fine and didn’t need to spend any more time or money on counseling. As I started my undergraduate degree, I finally felt as though I had a place I didn’t have to pretend anymore and my struggles with mental health took over. I spent days, even weeks, holed up in my dorm room, skipping classes, skipping meals, and taking very poor care of myself. I sought out help and began seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist regularly for my mental health issues. Unfortunately, things got worse for me before they got better. I continued to struggle with taking care of myself and my academics suffered immensely. At this point, I felt hopeless, worthless, and like I was a burden to those around me. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t “just feel better” like my family said I should and like I so desperately wanted. I attempted suicide a second time and ended up in the hospital, which then led to voluntary institutionalization. Those few days I spent there were three of the most difficult days of my life. I felt like I was no longer myself, but rather a shell of the person I had been. In addition, I felt dehumanized, caged, and even more hopeless than I had ever hoped. Once I was released, my mother stayed with me for a few weeks to make sure I was going to be okay and not pose a risk to myself anymore. Things eventually got better, but it took years and a college transfer. Eventually, the medication and therapy combination was a right fit and I started to get better. I started to feel like myself again, I made friends, I had hope for my future again, and my academics drastically improved. I wish I could tell you I was never suicidal and never self-harmed again after that, but that wouldn’t be the truth. While things did get better and stay better, there were many relapses and setbacks in the year or two after I transferred universities. I struggled with PTSD, depression, and anxiety for a long time. However, once I found a therapist and medication combination that made me feel stronger, healthier, and safe, I was able to develop healthy coping mechanisms—which led to the end of self-harming and suicidal ideations. This helped me to see that healing from trauma and overcoming my struggles with mental health were possible. This made me realize that others around me were also struggling with battles I didn't know about and that a counselor who has been through it themselves can be a strong, healing tool to help those still fighting their battles with mental health. My outlook on life, the world, and mental health were completely reformed by my experiences. I remember my initial thoughts surrounding the world and life being that it was meaningless and that the world was a cruel, unfair place with mostly careless, selfish people. I thought that mental health was “all in our heads” and was something people made up to make others feel bad for them. However, as I worked through my own struggles and found supportive people to help me through my healing process, that view drastically changed. I began to see the world as a place with possibilities and kind, selfless people. I saw that each life can make a substantial impact, even it is only substantial to one person. I now see the world as a complex place with infinite possibilities and people who are all wounded in some way. I see mental health as one of the most important parts of our health and counseling/therapy as the tool needed to guide many of people on their journeys of healing and personal growth. I hope to help change the negative stigma around mental health and help people understand that mental health is a real concern that is crucial to a healthy, balanced, and fulfilling life. This experience with my own mental health is one that changed my goals, career path, outlook on life, and understanding of the world. I realized that having struggles with mental health does not make someone weak, but rather strong for enduring such pain and choosing to fight anyway, regardless of the length or outcome of their battle. My personal battle with mental health was triggered by a battle with childhood abuse and adversities. This led me down the path of working with children or in helping professions. While I always enjoyed the work I was doing, I never felt like it was quite the right fit. Finally, I decided to return to school to pursue a degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I realized my career purpose was to be that voice and safe place for children who do not have one. I want to be that person who would speak up to protect a child, regardless of the difficulties or chains it may rattle. I never had anyone who spoke up to protect me, so as an adult and a professional, I will be that person who speaks up and provides a safe place for those children to work through their struggles and traumatic experiences without judgment. I will be that one person who will consistently believe in them with unconditional positivity, regardless of their struggles. I aim to be a counselor that people feel they can rely on in times of turmoil, who is worth recommending, and whom they feel comfortable entrusting the care of their loved ones with. With the current mental health crisis, I have chosen this career path to add value to the field, to help those who struggle with battles that nobody knows about, to help shape our future world, and to do my part in ending the shortage. Unfortunately, the current mental health crisis of a shortage of qualified mental health professionals is one that stretches across the country. While that is already such a difficult crisis, many of the professionals we do have are either burned out or overworked, which makes it difficult for them to provide the best mental health assistance and care possible. Additionally, these counselors who are currently practicing as mental health clinicians have such long waitlists that people who do need immediate mental health care are unable to get the help they need for months, even years, which can result in higher suicide rates and more untreated mental health struggles. With my master's degree in clinical mental health, I plan to add to the field of counseling by learning as much information, experiencing as many different counseling styles, and gaining as much experience as possible. Additionally, I plan to be a safe, empathetic, and knowledgeable counselor that people feel comfortable and confident in choosing when searching for help. I believe that my own struggles with mental health will allow me to be a better and more experienced counselor as I can relate to parts of their struggles and offer a safe place to work through those struggles. Whether it is working with children, adults, or older adults, I hope to help people heal the pain they have encountered that prevents them from chasing their dreams and living up to their potential. I also hope to educate those around me in addition to my clients on the stigmas surrounding mental health and seeking help in hopes to someday create a new vision and perspective of mental health and seeking help. Lastly, I hope to provide quality care to those I encounter as my clients and become a licensed counselor so that more people are able to get the help that they need. My hope is to contribute to the community, field of counseling, country, and world by helping one client, one family, and one community at a time. If awarded, the funds from this scholarship would be used to help fund my master's degree, additional specifications and certifications necessary to provide high-quality therapeutic experiences, and to allow me to focus on gaining the necessary skills and knowledge needed to be the best counselor I can be, rather than having to focus on how to make ends meet to fund my education.

My experience with mental health is one that has not always been sunshine and rainbows. Growing up, I was a very anxious child due to the adverse experiences I underwent. As I reached my teenage years, I had very severe and undiagnosed depression and began self-harming. In both of my households, mental health was not recognized as important and was never taken seriously. While I was a generally sad and depressed person, I typically had great academic performance, was involved in extracurricular activities, and had many friends, which made me a low concern. That’s probably how my issues went undiagnosed until I entered college. However, by the time I entered college, I had already attempted suicide once and that only provoked one counseling session in which, my parents determined I was fine and didn’t need to spend any more time or money on counseling. As I started my undergraduate degree, I finally felt as though I had a place I didn’t have to pretend anymore and my struggles with mental health took over. I spent days, even weeks, holed up in my dorm room, skipping classes, skipping meals, and taking very poor care of myself. I sought out help and began seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist regularly for my mental health issues. Unfortunately, things got worse for me before they got better. I continued to struggle with taking care of myself and my academics suffered immensely. At this point, I felt hopeless, worthless, and like I was a burden to those around me. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t “just feel better” like my family said I should and like I so desperately wanted. I attempted suicide a second time and ended up in the hospital, which then led to voluntary institutionalization. Those few days I spent there were three of the most difficult days of my life. I felt like I was no longer myself, but rather a shell of the person I had been. In addition, I felt dehumanized, caged, and even more hopeless than I had ever hoped. Once I was released, my mother stayed with me for a few weeks to make sure I was going to be okay and not pose a risk to myself anymore. Things eventually got better, but it took years and a college transfer. Eventually, the medication and therapy combination was a right fit and I started to get better. I started to feel like myself again, I made friends, I had hope for my future again, and my academics drastically improved. I wish I could tell you I was never suicidal and never self-harmed again after that, but that wouldn’t be the truth. While things did get better and stay better, there were many relapses and setbacks in the year or two after I transferred universities. I struggled with PTSD, depression, and anxiety for a long time. However, once I found a therapist and medication combination that made me feel stronger, healthier, and safe, I was able to develop healthy coping mechanisms—which led to the end of self-harming and suicidal ideations. My outlook on life, the world, and mental health were completely reformed by my experiences.. I now see the world as a complex place with infinite possibilities and people who are all wounded in some way. I see mental health as one of the most important parts of our health and counseling/therapy as the tool needed to guide many of people on their journeys of healing and personal growth.

My experience with mental health is one that has not always been sunshine and rainbows. Growing up, I was a very anxious child due to the adverse experiences I underwent. As I reached my teenage years, I had very severe and undiagnosed depression and began self-harming. In both of my households, mental health was not recognized as important and was never taken seriously. While I was a generally sad and depressed person, I typically had great academic performance, was involved in extracurricular activities, and had many friends, which made me a low concern. That’s probably how my issues went undiagnosed until I entered college. However, by the time I entered college, I had already attempted suicide once and that only provoked one counseling session in which, my parents determined I was fine and didn’t need to spend any more time or money on counseling. As I started my undergraduate degree, I finally felt as though I had a place I didn’t have to pretend anymore and my struggles with mental health took over. I spent days, even weeks, holed up in my dorm room, skipping classes, skipping meals, and taking very poor care of myself. I sought out help and began seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist regularly for my mental health issues. Unfortunately, things got worse for me before they got better. I continued to struggle with taking care of myself and my academics suffered immensely. At this point, I felt hopeless, worthless, and like I was a burden to those around me. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t “just feel better” like my family said I should and like I so desperately wanted. I attempted suicide a second time and ended up in the hospital, which then led to voluntary institutionalization. Those few days I spent there were three of the most difficult days of my life. I felt like I was no longer myself, but rather a shell of the person I had been. In addition, I felt dehumanized, caged, and even more hopeless than I had ever hoped. Once I was released, my mother stayed with me for a few weeks to make sure I was going to be okay and not pose a risk to myself anymore. Things eventually got better, but it took years and a college transfer. Eventually, the medication and therapy combination was a right fit and I started to get better. I started to feel like myself again, I made friends, I had hope for my future again, and my academics drastically improved. I wish I could tell you I was never suicidal and never self-harmed again after that, but that wouldn’t be the truth. While things did get better and stay better, there were many relapses and setbacks in the year or two after I transferred universities. I struggled with PTSD, depression, and anxiety for a long time. However, once I found a therapist and medication combination that made me feel stronger, healthier, and safe, I was able to develop healthy coping mechanisms—which led to the end of self-harming and suicidal ideations. My outlook on life, the world, and mental health were completely reformed by my experiences. I remember my initial thoughts surrounding the world and life being that it was meaningless and that the world was a cruel, unfair place with mostly careless, selfish people. I thought that mental health was “all in our heads” and was something people made up to make others feel bad for them. However, as I worked through my own struggles and found supportive people to help me through my healing process, that view drastically changed. I began to see the world as a place with possibilities and kind, selfless people. I saw that each life can make a substantial impact, even it is only substantial to one person. I now see the world as a complex place with infinite possibilities and people who are all wounded in some way. I see mental health as one of the most important parts of our health and counseling/therapy as the tool needed to guide many of people on their journeys of healing and personal growth. This experience with my own mental health is one that changed my goals, career path, outlook on life, and understanding of the world. I realized that having struggles with mental health does not make someone weak, but rather strong for enduring such pain and choosing to fight anyway, regardless of the length or outcome of their battle. My personal battle with mental health was triggered by a battle with childhood abuse and adversities. This led me down the path of working with children or in helping professions. While I always enjoyed the work I was doing, I never felt like it was quite the right fit. Finally, I decided to return to school to pursue a degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I realized my career purpose was to be that voice and safe place for children who do not have one. I want to be that person who would speak up to protect a child, regardless of the difficulties or chains it may rattle. I never had anyone who spoke up to protect me, so as an adult and a professional, I will be that person who speaks up and provides a safe place for those children to work through their struggles and traumatic experiences without judgment. I will be that one person who will consistently believe in them with unconditional positivity, regardless of their struggles.