At the age of 15, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and a year later I was diagnosed with ADHD. Before these diagnoses, I was in a constant state of struggle searching for a reason why. I felt alone and often like there was something wrong with me. As soon as the doctor told me that there was a cause for everything I had been experiencing I immediately felt a sense of relief knowing that I was not alone like I had thought. I will always live with these challenges and I will never experience life without having these feelings every once in a while but over time I have learned how to cope with things so that I could decrease my chance of falling into my previous troubles. My main obstacles consisted of constantly worrying about what others thought of me which led to depressive episodes and eating disorders. I also had trouble focusing not only in class but on everything it felt like my mind was racing all of the time and I could not even have one thought without already thinking about 100 other things which also led to more anxiety and feelings of failure. After years of therapy and finding a medication that suits me a lot of these hardships slowly became more tolerable. I also learned how to have a better mindset and how to have hope and think positively even if I felt that everything was going wrong. I am still every day trying to find more ways to better my mental health so that I can overall better myself but I have come a long way. I went from having Cs, Ds, and Fs in all of my classes to having Bs, and As and I found a way to enjoy eating and not care about how others see me. Knowing how long I was suffering with my mental health without ever getting help encourages me to help those around me who have never reached out. Instead of letting my experiences ruin me, I want to use them to spread knowledge to others and let them know that they are not alone which is why I want to work in the medical field. I will always remember the doctor that finally diagnosed me and took all of the pressure off of my shoulders getting me the help that I so desperately needed and I want to be that for somebody. Mental health awareness will always be important to me no matter if I am thriving or suffering and knowing that I can show somebody that they are not alone and that there are ways to help makes my passion for working in the medical field much stronger.

As a child in school, my grades were never good. I was diagnosed with ADHD but I still always felt dumb or like there was something wrong with me when comparing my grades to other girls in my class. That is until I discovered my passion for writing. It all began when I wrote an essay for the D.A.R.E program in 5th grade. Little did I know this essay would soon change my whole perspective on school and turn my weaknesses into strengths. As a student who got Cs and Ds in a class with others who had all As and Bs, I was selected to read my essay in front of the whole school. Before this accomplishment I saw myself as a failure and finally realizing that I was actually good at something involving school changed everything for me. I began to write poetry, and little notes to the people that I love. I would even search for essay prompts online. As I started to write more I realized that the reason that I loved it so much was because it was a way to silence my mind. With my ADHD it felt like my mind was always racing with thoughts but being able to get everything out and put it all onto a paper felt like such a relief. Knowing that I was actually good at something that involved education gave me more hope that if I try harder and put my all into what I do I could actually be successful in my work. My grades started to improve as well as my everyday mindset. I turned my failures and flaws into something beautiful. There are many reasons why I want to further my education. My whole life I have always wanted to be a nurse. I want to be able to help others who have struggled in the same ways that I have. I no longer want to feel stupid or like I am less than those around me. I want to use my many passions like writing, nursing, and more not only to better myself but to better the lives of everyone that I may come in contact with in any possible way that I can whether that is through healthcare, just listening to what people have to say, or simply having a positive mindset every day. Writing will always have a special place in my heart because it played a part in who I am today and who I want to be in the future.

Growing up 1989 was my favorite album. I remember having a radio and the only CD I had was the album 1989 by Taylor Swift. I would play this CD on repeat every single day trying my best to relate the lyrics to my everyday life and emotions. This album is so important to me because I have grown up and changed so much but the songs and the lyrics have stayed the same helping me through so many different moments throughout my life. If my year had a soundtrack the song Welcome To New York would be the first on it. The song Welcome to New York symbolizes being welcomed into a new town but for me, it is more than that. This year I am a graduating senior of high school so when I hear this song I feel I am being welcomed in by the new world. Listening to the lyrics and hearing the beat of the music I am instantly overwhelmed with a sense of excitement and hope. My whole life this song has been played over and over again and though nothing has changed about the lyrics or the beat it has a completely whole new meaning to me. Another song that would most definitely be on my 2024 soundtrack is Wildest Dreams. As a little girl, I wanted to have a love like the ones that Taylor Swift has written about and finally, my wish came true. After finally finding the guy that I believed I would spend the rest of my life with I was informed that he would be moving 8 hours away for college. This crushed me but I knew that I had to stay strong because even though this was a sad moment for me it was a very happy moment for him. He was leaving to start his new world and find himself in a new environment and group of people. The song Wildest Dreams highlights love and loss. In the song Taylor Swift highlights core memories that she has had within this relationship and explains that nothing lasts forever but though that is true the memories forever will. She wants this love to remember the good things about her and the highlights of their time together. When the guy that I was dating was leaving I related to this feeling so much I knew that things would not stay the same forever and there would have the be changes but every little memory we had previously made together would always stick around. Though I was a sad mess when he left I did hope that he would remember me as the beautiful happy girl that he had fallen in love with. Every song that Taylor Swift has written can be connected to my life in some way but these two songs from her album 1989 have been the most significant to me this year.

My top three favorite Billie Eilish songs are 'What Was I Made For', 'TV', and 'Male Fantasy'. The reason that I love these songs so much are because of their deep meanings. Each of these songs became popular during hard times during my life which caused me to connect so much to Billie's music and the lyrics that she would sing. Her voice and the phase of the music gave me so much peace and made me feel calm in so many different stressful situations. I first heard the song 'What was I made For', at the Barbie movie with my mother and I immediately began to break into tears. I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions and this song in some way described everything that I was feeling in whole. As soon as I got home from the movie my mother and I both added this song to our everyday playlists. Looking back and hearing this song will always remind me of the exact moment watching the Barbie movie with my mother surrounded by so many other woman and children. The song 'TV' is probably the most meaningful song to me that Billie Eilish has written. In this song she writes about depression, eating disorders, and losing friendships and relationships. During a time that I felt so alone with myself and my emotions I would listen to this song on repeat listening to every single word and relating to them in my very own and unique way. As a sophomore and junior in highschool I went through a very mind battling relationship that drained me emotionally, mentally, and physically and the song 'Male Fantasy' got me through this. From the first few lyrics I connected instantly. It again mentions eat disorders, dealing with pornography, and feeling alone. Hearing these lyrics and knowing that I am not alone and that so many other girls go through the same thing that I was let me know that even though I felt so alone I was really and truly not. Billie Eilish is such a powerful woman using her music to express herself and her emotions. She writes songs for young women going through the same scenarios that she has and still is going through. Though it is so sad to know that so many women connect with these emotions it is also very warming to know that I am not alone.

I sit in a classroom full of other students while the teacher stands up in front of the room teaching but all I can hear is the student behind me breathing loudly, the student beside me tapping their pencil on their desk, and the clock ticking. My eyes are on the teacher but my head is somewhere else while thoughts fly through my mind. My heart races worrying about my safety as I sit in this classroom knowing that there is always a possibility that there could be a gun somewhere in the building. My hands begin to sweat as I think about all of the lives that have been taken or even influenced by the many school shootings in the past. My attention is then taken by the smell of food coming through the crack under the door and I then begin to wonder what I should have for dinner, spaghetti sounds good but the last time I had it I was sick, I hope I don't get sick again because I could spread it to the people I love like my mom, I miss my mom I wonder what she is doing right now, is she safe, I should text her and make sure she is safe and all of the sudden the bell rings and I have a pile of blank worksheets on my desk. This is what a normal day is like for me while in class and I know that it is the same for many others. My ADHD distracts me from gaining the knowledge that I deserve and I don't even realize how much it has affected me until I am presented with a test that most of my classmates pass so easily while I fail. My parents and my teachers saw me as lazy or uncaring until one day I decided to take matters into my own hands. After much research on the disorder and doctor's appointments, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. This diagnosis completely changed my life, I was soon put on medications to help me focus and put in therapy to help me find ways to cope with this disorder. I had finally gotten the help that I had been longing for for so long in my life and it began to show in my grades. I could finally focus on what the teacher was actually saying instead of working on the kid next to me making noise or thinking about dinner. After seeing how much change this made in my life I realized how important mental health truly was and how important it was to prioritize it. To do this I began getting the sleep that I needed as well as exercising more and eating good amounts and portions of foods which made an even bigger difference than the medication and the therapy did. From my experiences with mental health, I realized that instead of just letting it pull me down I have to take action and do what it takes to improve myself.

Ever since I was younger I have had an overwhelming passion to one day work in the healthcare field and the reasons that this desire exists have become clearer, I am a hypochondriac, I love Grey's Anatomy, and I am caring and empathetic. When I get a migraine I think I have a brain tumor and when my heart beats a little faster than usual I convince myself that I am having a heart attack and when I see a mole I worry that it is skin cancer. As a hypochondriac, I realized that through my constant Google searching of every symptom that I have ever experienced in my life, I was studying and I loved it. Through this research, I learned different symptoms, diagnoses, and cures for many common and even rare things. I got a text from my close friend one day that stated that her heart was racing and that she was sweating a lot more than usual. I immediately dropped everything that I was doing and picked up the phone without hesitation a million reasons that she was experiencing these symptoms flowed through my brain. After talking to my friend over the phone and learning more about what was going on I realized that she was experiencing a panic attack and that she was dealing with this alone with no one but myself around. I remembered everything that I had read about panic attacks like what causes them, what to do, and how to stop them. I told her to hug yourself tight, sip on water, and take deep breaths and reminded her that she was okay that there was nothing wrong with her and she was not dying or having a heart attack. After about twenty minutes my friend's pulse had fallen to a normal pace and she could finally catch her breath again. The feeling of helping someone in a time like this felt so amazing and I realized that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. It is very stereotypical for a girl who is obsessed with Grey's Anatomy to say that she wants to become a surgeon a doctor or even a nurse and yes I know that in real life the healthcare field is nothing like the show. I love drama-filled TV shows or movies but with this particular show, I did not only fall in love with the drama I fell in love with what they were doing. I got to see what it was like for someone to be able to help those in need through medicine and I got to see the hard work that it takes to get to that point I decided that I was willing to go through all of the trauma and the studying and the late nights and everything that it takes to get to the point that I want to be at. Finally, I am caring and empathetic. I was always told that these emotions were just "girl" emotions and that I was only feeling this way because I was "on my period". But deep down I knew that I was not feeling these emotions because I was just a girl or because I was on my period I was feeling these emotions because I was made to work in the healthcare field. Everyday women are characterized as emotional but I want to make this into a positive rather than a negative and show others how powerful being a woman with a lot of emotions truly is.

I was 15 when I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. As soon as I was presented with this diagnosis I felt a relief to know that my struggles were seen and heard and that there were ways to cope and help with these symptoms that I had experienced from a young age. I became intrigued with these diagnoses and I wanted to learn more so I started researching and studying these disorders deeply to understand why I so often felt the way I do. At 17, I joined HOSA for the first time because it has always been my passion to work in the medical field. I scrolled through all of the areas that I could compete in and as soon as I saw the mental health promotion I immediately knew that was what I wanted to do. My partner and I spent months putting our all into researching and studying several mental health disorders and we then made a social media account to reach others around our community and spread awareness. On our social media account, we would post certain ideas like quotes relating to mental illnesses, definitions, symptoms, causes, and prevention of specific disorders, and ways to cope. This account became a big hit around our school and it soon led our classmates to know that they are not alone and that there are ways to reach out or change their everyday lives to minimize the symptoms or struggles caused by their mental health. After months of spreading awareness around our community, my partner and I competed in state and won first place in our event. Standing on that stage and being awarded is a moment I will never forget. I never want to lose that feeling that I felt on the stage for the first time which is why I want to continue helping others with what I know and have experienced with mental health. My dream is to become a nurse practitioner and help the patients that need it the most on a day-to-day basis letting them know that they are not alone and that there are ways to cope and continue their everyday life.

I have sat here for hours staring at a blank page wondering, 'Why is it so hard for me to write about my anxiety when I have had it my whole life?', there is so much to say and so many ways to respond to this. At the age of 15, I was diagnosed with anxiety after years of constant worrying and overthinking. Part of me thought these symptoms that I was experiencing were normal and that I should suck it up and be strong but part of me also felt so alone in my emotions and made me think that I was crazy and that there was something deeply wrong with me. Most of my days were spent worrying about the way that I looked or worrying about how others feel about me which cost me so much pain on the inside that it started to show on the outside. I would come home from school biting my lips and the inside of my mouth so hard that I would bleed and I would bite my nails down until there was nothing left. I spent most of my nights wondering if anyone cared enough to notice that I was suffering. I lost so much sleep going over every conversation I had that day replaying it in my head repeatedly. My anxiety has not only affected myself but the people around me as well such as my friends and family. I found myself continuously ruining the relationships around me because I would overthink every little interaction and always felt that everyone around me hated me and wanted to leave me. I felt like a failure and a disappointment to my family. I began wondering if others would even care if I was never born or what would happen if I just died or completely fell off the face of the earth. After years of feeling this way, I realized that if I didn't get help it would just get worse and it was time for a change so I asked my mother if she could put me into therapy and get me on medications in hopes that my anxiety could be "cured". Years later after trying multiple coping mechanisms, therapists, and medications, I realized that there would never be something as simple as a cure for my anxiety but there was a way to control it. Though I have come a long way through therapy, life changes, and medications my anxiety is still a very big aspect of my day-to-day life and I believe that it always will be which is why college is so important to me. I want to do everything that I possibly can to make sure that I can be the best person that I can be in the future and that starts now. My goal in life is to become a nurse or a child psychiatrist so that I can spread my awareness to others around me and help those that are in need. I want to let others know that they are not alone and that anxiety can not control you or how your life will turn out.

Mental health has always been a big part of my life and in the beginning I saw this as a bad thing. I suffer with anxiety, depression, and ADHD which has affected not only myself but the people around me. My mental health has impacted relationships, goals, and many more factors of my everyday life. Last year I was presented an opportunity through the organization known as HOSA to research and promote mental health awareness to my community. Knowing that mental health takes a big part in society today I immediately took this opportunity and put my all into it. After months of hard work and research my partner and I were awarded first place in the state of Alabama for mental health promotions. After being at HOSA and seeing what all took place within the healthcare field I realized that health care is what I want to do in the future. I want to use my experience with mental health to help others struggling as well. In conclusion, even though my mental health disorders have brought me many disadvantages it has also brought me so many more opportunities and has taught me so much about what I want to do with my future.