When I was younger I used to get sick a lot. My mom was too protective of me and my older sisters took the roles of being the athletics in the family. I always thought my dad favored them over me because of that. I wished to be able to make my parents proud but sports were never me. I tried gymnastics which I enjoyed, but when my dad pushed me to be more competitive; I wanted to have fun so I quit. I then took dance which was more in the artistic side and I enjoyed that a lot as well and I still do to this day. Unfortunately, I could see it never lived up to sports my parents value, so I quit that too. During this whole time, I did art. The only thing keeping me from pulling my hair out as I tried different programs was my art. Painting and drawing and even sculptures with clay all helped me relieve the stress of wanting to be someone I wasn’t. I saw my mom being amazed with what I created and she would even brag about some of my paintings and clay figurines to my family; which she never did when I tried a sport. My dad didn’t seem to care but every now and then he showed interest. I was happy something I made and did turned out to give them a reaction I always wanted. My dad even speculated about how the art gene must’ve carried to me since my great uncle, whom I’ve never met, had illustrated for books in Mexico. That’s something that’s always happened when I showed them my art. They bring up a story the painting reminds them of. The connection people can make to art just like that, is amazing and I appreciate how they’re able to draw a lot from just looking at a painting or a drawing. Trying to find meaning even if there isn’t one. I want people to feel when they see my art. I want them to put their guard down and just let them be themselves. I struggled being myself and once I indulged into my art further, I feel like I found myself and if my art can do the same to others as it did for me then I want to continue. Unfortunately, my family doesn’t have a lot of money. My art supplies were first purchased at a garage sale and how lucky I was I found quality paint. Down the line, all my art supplies have been purchased through second hand or the cheapest I could find in the store. My paint brushes sometimes loose a hair because they’re the cheapest ones I could find, they add texture to the painting but really inconvenient when you don’t want that to happen. I’m also going to school and every little thing will be a huge help for literally anything.

When I was in middle school I began to realize who I was and what I wanted, but it also came with the worries of how I would get there. Having immigrant parents and wanting to help them live a better life through what I’m good at has been a dream I’ve had since I realized I could possibly achieve it. Unfortunately, among all the obstacles I have and will have, money has been the biggest one by far. Having to quit multiple interest to prevent financial stress on my family was never an easy option. Once I thought I was free to talk to my parents about such a risky career, another financial issue came up that prevented me from wanting to do what I want most. Especially when my grandpa and grandma got sick recently with COVID-19 and it was up to my mom and dad to send money to them to help, it was then that I took it upon myself to try my best to release them from the financial belt that has been squeezing them since I could remember. I want to be able to help my family by doing what I do best and the only method I know I can truly help with : my artistic capability. Besides the financial concerns, between cheap paints and canvases I was able to earn some money by selling them to friends and family to help out and even then it helped me grow much more as an artist. This revealed my passion for art once more; an interest I had quit due to the lack of money. This has opened an opportunity to be able to continue to help and help myself with what I truly want to pursue in life. I’ve applied to University of Texas at Arlington in hopes of making it to their art program and continue to grow my artistic capabilities to achieve my goal of releasing my family from a financial hole. And as I see my niece, who currently lives with us, admire me as an artist; I also want to open this new opportunity to help her and show her that there’s more to art than meets the eye. That she can pursue her dream and not have to worry about money. Because when I once thought my art could get me nowhere it ended up being a depressing world but the realization brought back the colors I so desired to see again with the opportunity to help those around me with an ability I thought had left. With the money I receive from this scholarship I hope to expand my capabilities by using it for my tuition and to acquire the tools I need to be in that program. I want to focus on my work and continue to grow instead of when will my next meal be or if I could even afford a book my class asks for. I hope with all my heart that when I’m a mother I can encourage them to pursue and stretch their arm out for the dream they want without worrying about money or if they can even afford to take a risk. I want to be the one to take the risk and show that even with a financial struggle I can still continue to be who I am and achieve the dream I want to by continuing my career in art and helping my family.