As a child, I reveled in the thrill of roller coasters. The adrenaline-filled climb to the peak, the suspenseful pause at the summit, and the exhilarating drop that followed. However, the journey through my mental health has been a roller coaster of a different kind, one devoid of the joy and excitement, replaced by fear and despair. In my high school junior year, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I likened the feeling to a never-ending plunge down a roller coaster, the depths of despair seeming bottomless. As I grappled with my inner turmoil, I simultaneously tackled an academically rigorous curriculum and numerous extracurricular activities. I was in a constant battle with myself, prioritizing academic excellence over my deteriorating mental health. My school community was rocked by two suicide attempts within a fortnight, one of which occurred right next to me. This shocking reality check, combined with my own struggles, made it abundantly clear that the issue extended beyond me. I was far from alone in my mental health struggles; many of my peers were silently grappling with their own. This revelation was a profound turning point. It transformed my personal struggle into a broader context, infusing my experience with a newfound purpose. Despite initial resistance from the school administration, I was determined to address this pressing issue. Driven by personal experience and a desire to alleviate the suffering of others, I proposed the creation of a mental health initiative. The administration eventually conceded, and we began with a school-wide mental health survey. The survey results were startling, revealing the extent of the mental health crisis among the student body. The majority reported symptoms of anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, primarily linked to academic stress. This data underscored the urgency of addressing mental health and helped convince the administration that this was not a problem to be ignored. Inspired by these findings, I collaborated with the administration to establish Hope Squad- a peer support team dedicated to suicide prevention. We received training to identify at-risk students, offering friendship and ensuring they received the necessary help from adults. This initiative has been an incredibly rewarding journey. It has allowed me to transform personal struggles into a positive and impactful cause. It has strengthened my relationships with peers and school staff and solidified my career aspirations in psychology- which I will be studying at Columbia University next fall. I've seen firsthand that even in the face of despair, there is always potential for change, growth, and healing. This realization has not only transformed my worldview but has also given me the drive to make a tangible difference in the lives of those fighting similar battles. My mental health journey, much like a roller coaster ride, has been filled with numerous ups and downs. Despite the ongoing struggle, I now understand that every descent can lead to a climb, and every climb brings us closer to the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you.” As I gazed out at the prairie during my drive back from the airport, these lyrics reverberated in my mind. Singing and dancing alongside my mother and 35,000 others had produced memories I’d cherish forever, memories I deemed a fair trade for sore legs and a hoarse voice. It wasn’t until entering my home to a horror movie scene that made me question this trade. As both my voice and legs failed me, I joined my incapacitated father on the ground, his blood permeating the nostalgia of Coldplay. The color red illuminated the path of my father’s suffering, from the spot the car hit him to the stairs leading into my house. The disfigured image did more than just replace the memories of singing and dancing. These images stained my mind red like the towels around his face and the clothes on my body. Questions flooded my mind, but no answers came, only the echoes of my mother’s screams as tragedy welcomed us home. I watched the sun go down and rise the following morning through the same hospital window, with the coming of daylight summoning me to live the life I knew before. Each grade received, hour worked, and position held now seemed insignificant, as the tribulations of my second life consumed every space in my mind. I cared for my father, day after day- I changed his bandages, pureed his food, and injected his medications. The stagnation of my father’s health and my seemingly ineffective care left a sour taste in my mouth: this was not what I imagined life would be like as a healthcare professional. I felt like what I was doing didn’t matter. Then one day, as I was pulling the empty syringe from his lips, I felt the familiar calluses of a hand latch onto my fingers. I turned to face my father, who readjusted his grip so that our hands were intertwined. The sour taste turned salty as tears found refuge in my mouth. My father was still unable to form words, but his hands said more than words ever could. I realized then that everything I’d done as a caretaker was worth it. The song came back to me- I was the light, my father’s guide, and I helped ignite his bones- giving him strength and hope. Through my personal journey as my father's caretaker, I discovered the true essence of healthcare. It surpasses the confines of a classroom, revealing a demanding world that can be both soul-crushing and monotonous. Yet, amidst the uncertainty, I witnessed the power to impact lives. It forced me to confront the reality that every patient I encounter will be someone's loved one, deserving nothing less than my utmost dedication. I aim to incorporate these values into my practice, and I believe that by doing so, I can contribute to a more compassionate, patient-focused healthcare environment. Witnessing resilience and hope emerge from a seemingly hopeless situation revealed that the white coat embodies more than a professional choice- it signifies my calling. The lyrics replay in my head yet again: I’ll always be guided by my life experiences, family, and love for others. It will ignite my bones, motivating my will and spirit. I may not always succeed, but I will always try.

Special Training and Riding Skills. Posted above the red barn gate, the familiar letters of STARS welcomed me. From the early age of eight, countless summer evenings left me with sand in my boots and kisses from the golden sun of rural South Dakota. With a lead rope in one hand and apple treats in the other, I guided horses and disabled riders around the outdoor arena, watching as pure excitement and radiant smiles grew on the faces of each participant. But most importantly, each therapy session left me with an abundance of passion and an overwhelming sense of pride, weaving an increasingly strong tapestry of understanding and companionship. Accompanied by other volunteers, I walked alongside a myriad of participants and their chosen horses, engaging in conversation to gain a deeper understanding of each rider’s lifestyle and capabilities. In order to cater to the diverse intellectual and physical abilities of each individual, I worked to personalize and enrich their experiences according to their specific needs. To my surprise, one participant, Katie, not only developed an attachment to my closest childhood friend, Traveller, but also to me. After our first ride together, Katie made it a weekly habit to request me as her leader and Traveller as her beloved equine companion. Our time in the arena went beyond the usual circles; we incorporated barrels and poles into our routine, creating a fantasy world of rodeo-inspired adventures. Built on a foundation of trust and hours of meaningful conversation, our bond transcended any personal differences. It was no longer merely about leading: it was a true friendship. Spending time with Katie helped me uncover the beauty of encouraging spontaneity and cherishing life’s simplest pleasures. Horse therapy serves as a testament to the power of inclusivity and compassion, inspiring me to push my own limits and parallel the blossoming of confidence and independence seen within each rider. As a STARS volunteer, I learned that true strength lies in appreciating the unique experiences of each individual while embracing the opportunity to learn from one another. Each person carries within them a remarkable story, and it is through empathy, acceptance, and an open mind that we can create a world where every voice is not only heard but treasured. As I transition from a small town girl to a college-bound young woman, it feels like a natural progression to carry the invaluable lessons from my childhood with me to my campus community. My commitment lies in fostering an environment where the strengths and contributions of every individual are celebrated, where every voice resonates with significance and is empowered to flourish. I look forward to utilizing the experiences gained through STARS to make a meaningful and lasting impact on my college community by championing inclusivity, empathy, and the power of volunteering. I will inspire others to embrace their own perspectives and actively contribute to the lives of those around them, shaping a community of change agents who celebrate diversity and strive to make the world a better place.

Mr. Ganci, with his endless flow of wisdom and ever-present smile, once posed a simple question to our AP Literature class, "How many of you have ever used the phrase 'I can't wait'?" Predictably, every hand in the room shot up. His tone was not one of judgment, but of curiosity; he was inviting us to introspect, to question our own habits and perceptions. With his teaching style not being confined to the realms of literature, he used every opportunity, much like this one, to instill life lessons and provoke deep thinking in his students. In my relentless pursuit of academic success, I had inadvertently created a life that revolved almost exclusively around schoolwork and extracurricular activities. This obsession, fueled by the phrase "I can't wait," was a constant reminder of my eagerness for graduation, acceptance letters, and an imagined future career. In this race against time, I had lost sight of the present and neglected to nourish other aspects of my life, such as friendships, hobbies, and self-care. Recognizing this imbalance was a pivotal moment for me. I realized that life isn't just a race towards success, but rather a journey to be savored at each step. I began to allocate time for self-care, spending quality time with friends and family, and rediscovering hobbies that brought me joy. This shift towards a more balanced life gave me a newfound sense of contentment and happiness, far beyond the confines of academic excellence. It was Mr. Ganci who helped me see the importance of balance in life. He taught me that success is not just about grades or professional achievements; rather, it's about personal growth, nurturing relationships, enjoying the process and not just the end result. It's about understanding that while it's crucial to plan for the future, it's equally important to cherish the present. Although it may sound cliche, these words remain truthful- Mr. Ganci was not just a teacher, he was a mentor, a guiding light in the tumultuous journey of high school. He recognized the pressures we faced and saw us not just as students, but as individuals, each with unique dreams, ambitions, and fears. His question that day was not just about a common phrase, but a reflection of a larger concern. "I can't wait" gradually lost its power over me as I learned to value the journey over the destination. So, to answer Mr. Ganci's question, "Why CAN'T you wait?": I now understand that I can, and I should. And as I do, I'll discover that life, in its entirety, is a beautiful journey worth savoring. Thank you, Mr. Ganci, for changing the way I approach life. Your wisdom and guidance have made me a better person, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Growing up, I always idolized my older brother. He was everything I wanted to be- confident, charismatic, and undeniably talented. But there was a darkness that clung to him, a battle he was constantly fighting... a battle with drug addiction. My once comfortable, gentle home became a battleground, leaving me too nervous to enter in fear of what I might find. The canvas of my life has been shaped by various influences, but none more so than the movie "Beautiful Boy". This cinematic endeavor, raw and unfiltered, painted a vivid, albeit harrowing, portrait of struggle with drug addiction. A portrait that was all too familiar. As I witnessed the struggle of the characters on the screen, I found myself transported back to those days of fear, confusion, and desperate hope as a girl who grew up in the shadow of an addict. My brother’s struggles with addiction left me in a whirlpool of emotions- confusion, anger, and disappointment. I never understood his choices, and over time, my love for my brother was replaced by resentment. He was no longer my hero but the villain. This wave of negativity was my constant companion until I encountered "Beautiful Boy". This was not merely a film to me, but a mirror reflecting my own experiences. It depicted the life of Nic Sheff, a young man battling methamphetamine addiction, and his father, David Sheff, who never gave up on him. The film's empathetic lens revealed Nic not as a villain but as a tragically flawed individual, helplessly succumbing to the merciless manipulation of addiction. Through Nic's character, I saw a reflection of my brother. I saw the same struggle, the same pain, and the same desperate desire to escape the clutches of addiction. The film unmasked the complex reality of drug addiction, and its monstrous ability to seize and shatter even the most resilient souls. It showed me that my brother was in fact not a villain but a victim. The film stirred in me a sense of empathy I had long forgotten. It reminded me of the brother I once admired, the one hidden beneath the shroud of addiction. It made me realize that he was still there, fighting an invisible battle. Suddenly, my anger and resentment seemed misplaced. I was not angry at my brother, but at the circumstances that had ensnared him. "Beautiful Boy" has not only shifted my perspective but has also inspired me to reach out to my brother, to truly understand his struggles, and most importantly, to stand by him. Our bond is slowly healing, and though the path ahead is fraught with challenges, we’re marching ahead, together. In essence, it has been more than a movie- it has been a catalyst for change, a glimpse of understanding, and a lesson in empathy. It has made me realize that people trapped in the throes of addiction are not villains; they are merely humans wrestling with their demons, desperate for compassion and support. By doing so, this film has irrevocably altered the narrative of my life, transforming my relationship with my brother for the better.

"Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don't struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality." - Pema Chödrön I remember the day my childhood home was sold. It was the house where I took my first steps, said my first words, and spent countless hours playing in the backyard. Over the years, the house was constantly changing- rooms were painted different colors, furniture was replaced, and even the garden was remodeled. Yet, in my mind, it was a constant, a fixed point in my life. But one day, my parents announced we were moving. I was devastated. It felt like a rug had been pulled out from under me. As humans, our natural instinct is to seek permanence, to cling to the familiar. We build homes, establish routines, and create enduring relationships, all in an attempt to carve out pockets of permanence in an ever-changing world. This need for stability, for something to hold onto, is deeply ingrained in our psyche. Chödrön challenges this notion, urging us to not only accept but embrace the impermanence that permeates our lives. The sale of my childhood home, a place I thought of as a permanent fixture, was a stark reminder of the transient nature of all things- the fact that nothing, not even the most familiar and comforting aspects of our lives, are immune to change. In the heart of impermanence, we find the essence of existence. It resonates with the teachings of many ancient philosophies, where it stands as a cornerstone of understanding life as we know it. To fully grasp the depth of Chödrön's assertion, one must first understand the concept of impermanence. It encapsulates the idea that everything is in constant flux, never fixed or permanent. Life, in its essence, is a dance of change, a symphony of shifting scenes and fleeting moments. This is a truth that can be seen everywhere, from the changing seasons to the growth and decay of living organisms. But what does impermanence have to do with harmony? Harmony is generally understood as a state of balance, a symmetrical arrangement of parts working together in unity. At first glance, it seems contradictory to link something as chaotic and unpredictable as change with the order and stability of harmony. However, Chödrön invites us to look deeper, to see the harmony that lies within the chaos, the symmetry within the flux. Impermanence, in Chödrön's view, is not an obstacle to harmony but its very principle. It is the force that drives the dance of existence, the rhythm that guides the symphony of life. When we resist this force, we go against the natural flow of things; we create tension and discord, disrupting the harmonious balance of existence. By struggling against change, we lose our place in the dance, our voice in the symphony. Impermanence compels us to live in the present, to appreciate the evanescent beauty of each moment. It reminds us that each breath is a gift, that each day is a new canvas to paint upon. It encourages us to live fully and passionately, to savor the sweetness of existence without clinging to any moment. When we embrace impermanence, we align ourselves with its rhythm, letting go of our fears and anxieties about the future and freeing ourselves to live in the here and now. We become part of the dance, an instrument in the orchestra. We find our place in the grand scheme of things, and in doing so, we find harmony. This is the profound wisdom that Chödrön offers us. By embracing change, not as an enemy but as an ally, we can find a deeper, more authentic harmony, a harmony that resonates with the fundamental nature of existence. It is an invitation to live not in fear of change but in celebration of it, to find not discord but harmony in the dance of impermanence.