I have had quite an eventful childhood, though I didn't realize how different it was from other kids at the time. Seeing my mom only on the weekends was the norm for me, and as much I didn't like it, it was my normal. Living with my dad and two older brothers was fun, and I truly did enjoy it. There were some hiccups at times. There would be long periods of time where I didn't see my mother, but I didn't question it. When I did see my mom it was like a page out of a storybook. We would get ice cream, crack jokes, and watch silly cartoons. There were some events that weren't storybook material, though. When my mom would speak poorly of my father. When my mom would cry about being a bad, bad mother. When my mom would make impulsive decisions, like the time she decided to buy birds and they flew away a week later. I could see how this story could come across all over the place. One second it's great and one second there are tears, but this was my childhood. And that was my mother. It wasn't until beginning high school that I began to realize that my relationship with my mom was abnormal. I had met plenty of people whose parents were divorced and they would alternate houses every week, but not many that legally were to stay with only the father. There was one distinct experience with my mother when I realized that things were far from normal. I had gotten into her car after not seeing her for a couple of weeks. My two brothers, her, and I were going to our local ice cream shop where we were gonna laugh and catch up. Only five minutes in she asked what I had been up to recently. I had told her that I had just had lice and was finally free of the burden thanks to my stepmom, Amy, taking care of me. Suddenly the mood turned stale. Her once bubbly tone of voice turned cold, and she raised her voice, "How could you come into my car like this? Are you trying to make it so I can't work?" I was used to her overreacting but never raising her voice at me. My brothers went silent, and I defended my circumstance saying, "Mom, I'm completely fine now. I got rid of it days ago. Amy helped." She laughed at the sound of her ex-husband's wife's name. "Please! What are they doing in that house. Does she even know how to take care of you..." She went on and on and on making blatant stabs at Amy and myself for being so 'stupid' for exposing her to it. When I couldn't take it anymore I told her to take me home. After what felt like 30 min of arguing, she drove me home. I ran into the house crying and into my room. That was one of my first experience with one of my mom's bipolar episodes, and most definitely not the last. Since then my relationship with my mom has only gotten more difficult. While my experience with bipolar disorder has been rather untasteful, I know that it has shaped me as a person. As a musician, I am able to draw inspiration from the events and create meaningful pieces of music. I have learned a lot about mental health, and how it doesn't only affect the person struggling. It affects everyone around them. I have had my fair share of mental struggles and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety earlier this school year. I have learned a lot from myself in the experience and have become more empathetic to others experiencing similar emotions. I hope to continue to be triumph in battling my own demons and to make others fighting feel understood. Through my music, I want to create a relationship with my audience where they can turn on a song of mine and feel it was written for them. I hope in the future my relationship with my mother will get better, but that I won't let it negatively affect me.

My goal in life is to become a successful songwriter. Whether this means I am writing for other artists, or myself, I want my music to spread to the people that need it most. I write meaningful lyrics that I know many people can relate to, and will feel understood when hearing them. I am attending Belmont University in the fall as an Audio Engineering Major, and I hope to become an effective producer. I want to understand as many aspects of the music world as I can. Majoring in Audio Engineering will allow me to make my own music, and others as well. Being that I am going to a college in a business city, I know there will be many aspiring artists looking for someone to help them out, and that is where I will step in. Not only can I get a little cash from this, but my name will be on their piece of music, and I can become more wildly known based on how well it does. Obviously, fame is not what I am doing this for, but in order to succeed in the music industry, I have to be able to gain some kind of popularity. I also am planning to minor in Music Business, this way I won't be tricked into any devious contracts. The most important thing to me is my music, and how it affects others. Growing up my idol was Taylor Swift because she wrote songs that felt as they were written for me. I want to do the same for young people. I want them to be able to turn my music on and feel better about whatever circumstances they are experiencing. Being a musician requires not only talent but a level of charm. I know that Harry Styles might as well be crowned the king of charm. He is someone I have always looked up to because no matter the level of fame he achieves, he always stays loving and humble. Being that Harry is so famous, and has such an impressionable audience, he teaches those watching to treat people kindly. I want to spread music that will be therapeutic for the listeners, but I also want to use my platform to spread positive messages. Growing up I have always encouraged kindness and compassion, and to have a following would allow me to spread this to more people. People are forgetting the necessity for goodwill among crowds of people, and it shows itself in society's rivaling climate. Throughout my career, I will create music that plays as a shoulder to cry on, and also a role model. I will teach young people the importance of kindness to others and being empathetic to those around them. I want to take all of the necessary educational steps so that it will lead me to make beneficial steps for my audience's mental well-being.

I go to a high school that has over 4,000 students. We never felt unsafe on campus, because we had police and large gates that surrounded our school. We all joked about feeling like prisoners, behind bars. We all wore IDs and complained we were being treated like dogs, with collars and tags. People couldn't come on campus without a reasonable excuse, and we had to have our IDs on at all times or we were sent to the office to get one. We were encouraged not to open the school's side doors for anyone unless they had a badge. Most people didn't take this seriously. I mean if a student needs to get to class and forgot their ID, what's the harm in opening the door for one person? We were naive. In my freshman year, our school was put under a code read. People laughed it off and went to their designated spots expecting it to be some kind of drill. We all huddled behind our teachers' desk, nonchalantly. Then, the principal came over the loudspeaker in a panicked tone, "Please get to an area of safety. Lock all classroom doors. There is a possible shooter on campus. This is NOT a drill." Everyone seemed to go still. Smirks quickly turned to blank stares. Even the air conditioning seemed to have caught the message, and shut off, leaving us in complete silence. If someone shifted their body weight, somebody else would flinch. Phones buzzed and students shakily took out their phones. Messages were circulating, saying "What's going?", "Mom, there's a shooter on campus. I love you, ok?" It seemed to get worse as people began to spread false information. People said there was someone at the second building, and then downstairs, and then on our floor, and then the school across the street. Our teacher pleaded for us to put our phones away. Mine was shut off across the room. We sat in silence for a good 30 min, when we heard a scream outside. A teacher yelling, "GET OVER HERE! Please come here!" We heard footsteps running down the hallway, and doors slamming. The entire class looked at our teacher in hope that she could have some kind of explanation for what was going on. We just needed her to say that everything was okay. We didn't care if she was lying, because we just wanted to feel okay. We sat there for three hours until an officer came to our room and let us know that we were safe. We went back to our seats and I pulled out my phone and turned it on. I had 11 text messages and 3 missed phone calls. My brother had texted me frantically asking if I was safe. He was a senior at the time. My parents had texted me saying they hear about the situation and asking if I was okay. I told them I was fine and that I loved them. Looking back I realize that I definitely was not okay. I was terrified and had spent the last few hours imagining what I would do an armed individual broke the door. We were dismissed early from school, and I went home and my parents said that I seemed calm for having just experienced something like that. We had just heard the news that there hadn't even been someone on campus and that someone had just threatened another student. I felt relieved, and maybe that's what made me appear calm. In reality, I had just had a lot to think about. I cried that night in front of my parents when all the emotions hit me at once. That took place in November 2017, and just three months later the Parkland Shooting took place. Hearing the news was terrifying. The next year we came back to our schools having metal detectors and heavy-duty locks on doors that could only be unlocked from the inside. They locked all sider doors and got far more police officers on campus. I never heard anyone complain about IDs again and honestly people forgot them a lot less. I barely ever see anyone open doors for anyone, even if they are students. This entire experience shifted my view on safety precautions. I work at an after-school program for children now, and my entire perspective has changed on the experience. I can't imagine the fear the teachers must have felt. I have had to go through training on how to prepare for an experience like this one. The entire school has become fearful whenever an announcement is made because we worry it'll be another code red. We would never want to experience it again.

I grew up in South Carolina, and that is a very conservative kind of place. I didn't even know that the LGBTQ+ community existed until I was in middle school. Growing up artists, like Troye Sivan, Taylor Swift, Sam Smith, and Harry Styles really made a difference for the LGBTQ+ community. Swift and Styles promoting peace and acceptance towards them, and Sivan and Smith even coming out as being a part of the community. I also remember coming across a Hayley Kiyoko music video for "Girls Like Girls" following the relationship of two young best friends. The female lead's girl best friend was in a relationship with a guy but throughout the video u see their friendship become more romantic. For a lot of young people in the LGBTQ+ community, this made a connection for them. She used many Disney stars as a way to take a stab at them for their lack of representation. My personal experience with this video was initial denial, but it constantly sat in the back of my mind. I have often been able to use songwriting as a way to reach emotions and thoughts that I couldn't by just sitting and thinking. I found myself writing love songs that lacked any pronouns. I was writing about anyone, despite their gender. I didn't really make this connection until I saw other artists doing the same, and then eventually coming out. I remember listening to King Princess's "1950". She was basically saying that she hated attention from boys, but when it came from girls she was okay with it. Now I have always been attracted to boys, and everyone in my life knew this. What I didn't understand was why I was feeling a sort of connection to what she was saying. Eventually, I met someone from my school at a dance. She was wearing rainbow beaded necklaces with the letters "G-A-Y" on them. She caught me staring at it, and smiled, and said "Yea. I am." I wasn't sure exactly how to respond. I was both trying to avoid coming across as homophobic or saying "Same" at the same time. Ironic. A year later, I had been staying up night after night with the thought "Do I like girls, or do I just think I like girls?" I would try and force myself to write a song about a girl, but it just felt so inauthentic. Like I was making myself feel something that I didn't. I put it away for a while, coming to the conclusion that I was just a hormonal teen facing a basic self-identity crisis. The songs I wrote were the most authentic thing about me, and to feel as though I was faking what I was feeling was a big fear of mine. About a half a year later I made a realization. The whole idea around sexuality is something that shouldn't be forced. I shouldn't feel as though I have to label myself. I know that I have some sort of attraction to girls, whether that means I'm bisexual or pansexual or queer, I don't know. I don't need to know. I just know that I couldn't fall for any kind of person. The song, "Like Me", by Steve Lacy is one of my favorite things that I have found really explains how I fell. The line "I only feel energy, I see no gender" is something I often use to explain my sexuality. I want to be able to become an artist that allows for other people in my circumstance to feel understood. I enjoy writing and singing about these kinds of thoughts. I look forward to any other music I find that I feel a bond with.

I have always had an interest in the foster care system. Honestly, watching Hotel for Dogs as a kid or the Fosters as a young adult was what really caught my eye. I even got a job as a counselor at an afterschool program for children that I have had for the past few years because I knew I wanted to make a difference in the lives of young people. I know in the future that I want to be able to make enough money that I can donate to organizations that work to make foster children's lives easier. Things like the United States Children's Bureau, or even my own local organization SAFY of Charleston. I often spend time thinking about how lucky I am to have a wonderful home, many siblings, and two loving parents. I have a difficult relationship with my biological mother, and I have let my mind wonder what could have happened if my dad wasn't in the picture. Would my mom had been able to keep a job that would allow her to afford to take care of my brothers and me? Could I have been at risk of being put into the Foster Care System? I know that there are many kids out there that have had this experience. Some kids feel as though they are forgotten or unwanted. Older children are at higher risk of being kept in the system until they reach adulthood because young parents are more interested in adopting children that are at a very young age. I want to be able to make enough money that allows me to have a large, inviting home for those kids. I know that I want to start fostering children and eventually adopt. If I have children of my own, then I want to make sure they are aware of how lucky they are, and those that aren't. I want to make a difference, and I know that I can.

If money was not an issue, then I would have already been famous. I know this is a bold statement, but that's what this entire site is about right? Hear me out. In order to create music, I need to have high-quality software with nearly no limits at all. It took me a few years to even be able to afford this kind of equipment, which in turn made me lose a lot of time I could have been using to produce music. Time management is a huge thing when it comes to being a musician. You often hear about musicians staying up all night recording, or getting two hours of sleep because they had to drive out of town to make it to a gig. Being that I am a high school student, I have a lack of time. I spend most of my time at school and at work. I work because I need to afford musical equipment and be able to pay for gas. If money wasn't something I had to think about, then I wouldn't even have a job. I also would be taking multiple lessons a week for guitar, piano, and vocals. Now if we look back at my past and take all of the time I spent working, saving up for musical equipment, and the lack of lessons that I have, then I would be an even better musician with far more understanding of how to create music. Of course, some people could have all the money in the world, and have all the things that I desire, but the one thing that they could be missing is my passion. If I had all the time that I have lost because money is an issue, then I would be researching how to use producing equipment. I would be going far and wide performing at different restaurants and gigs. I would spend money on high-quality cameras to make for an appealing video or cover art. I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about my circumstance. If I didn't have the experience that I did have to work to make money, then I don't think I would be nearly as proud of my music. Any hardships I have faced can be brought back to money issues, and I wouldn't have the inspiration for my writing that I do now. While more money could have saved me a lot of time, I don't think I would go back and change anything if I had the option. I'm only 18 years old, so I have the rest of my life to make a name for myself. I look forward to seeing what I will do in the future.

I am passionate about STEM because of the technology aspect. In college, I will be majoring in Audio Engineering Technology. By taking the necessary courses to complete my major, I will become an expert in music technology. I will be able to set up for gigs that require multiple pieces of equipment and know exactly what each piece will do. Having this understanding will allow me to help other musicians and help myself. This gives me the opportunity to go into more than one field in the music industry. My long-term goal is to become a songwriter, so having this understanding of technology will make me a great candidate for future jobs. I can start as an audio engineering assistant working in a studio, making connections that I can use later on as a solo artist. I will also learn how to work with music software for recording music and digitally creating songs. Being that I am going to college full of aspiring musicians, I can assist many people while they are trying to make EPs and albums. Not only can I make money from this, but my name will be on all of the projects, and if any of these happen to become very popular, so will my abilities. My entire life I have thoroughly enjoyed making music. I have been a part of school choirs and musicals and participated in multiple talent shows. I have performed at many different restaurants with my own original music. I have even produced some of my own music that I posted on SoundCloud. I have always wanted a career in music. I want to focus on becoming a songwriter, but I know that I want to understand all aspects of the process. I want to be a part of making the music and the sound. Having a background in Audio Engineering Technology is what is going to help me make it in the music industry!

Growing up I had a mother with Bipolar Depression and undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, who I didn't get to see very often, being that I lived full time with my Dad. As I got older I saw the effects that she really had on me. In high school, I got diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression. I had been struggling to stay motivated, think of myself positively, and leaving my room. Throughout Quarantine, these symptoms worsened and I went to the doctor. There I was prescribed medication to help me improve my mental state. After taking it consistently for a couple of months, I began to feel a lot better. I found myself becoming proactive when it came to school, and in my personal life. I could never get myself to sit down and focus enough to read a book, but after a few months, I had been able to read an entire trilogy in a week! I was actively reaching out to friends and making plans. My parents were so happy to see me improving so much and so quickly. Throughout all of these difficulties and triumphs, I have found inspiration for my music. I am a songwriter and having this past has given me lots of things to write about. I also have been able to help other people in my life to become confident and stress-free with the techniques I have found. While I know that I am destined to experience more hardships in my lifetime, I believe that because I have taken control of my mental health now, I will be able to overcome those difficulties.

I have grown up with difficulty finding myself a solid woman role model, or so I thought. My mother wasn't around much and the girl I looked up to the most was Taylor Swift. When I was in the 2nd grade, my dad got remarried to a woman named Amy. I was consistently asked what it was like having a stepmom because children often pictured them as evil, thanks to Cinderella. I would always respond the same way, "She is definitely not evil. She's really cool." I guess growing up I didn't realize how much of a role model she is to me. I didn't appreciate her as much I wish I did. Amy is patient and understanding. Although I had a difficult relationship with my biological mother, she stepped in and became the mother figure I didn't have. She is realistic, but still supportive of my dreams. She's seen me cry and scream, and laugh and sing. She has been with me through everything and for that, I am extremely grateful. I have learned so much from my relationship with Amy. She taught me to have patience and not to be impulsive, and how to cope with my strong emotions. She always showed me that blood does not have to depict what you call your family. Those who stick with you and take care of you no matter what are what I consider family. Following college, I want to get a well-paying job and be able to give back to people like Amy. When I am married I hope to adopt children and show them that even though we are not blood-related, that I can still love them the same. I am eternally grateful for my relationship with Amy and look forward to seeing our bond grow.

There is something so raw about "Evergreen" by YEBBA that will never get old. Her vocals show such genuine passion and the instruments tie everything together. "Evergreen" to me is the feeling of youthful kind of love, that can be described as naive, vulnerable, and passionate. All of these songs, to me, describe a person who will do whatever they can to prove their love for this person, and all they want is for them to feel the same. Not only do I love the passion and message, but I think all of the lyricism is amazing.

A couple of weeks ago, I was accepted to Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. I am hoping to major in Songwriting and will hear back about it any day now. Being that I have been dreamt about being a singer/songwriter since I first learned to write, having the opportunity to go to a school that specializes in the skill would be insane. I live in South Carolina, and unfortunately, there are no colleges in-state that would provide the major I am looking for. Meaning that I have to look out of state. I am a sibling to four other children, two of them being in college already, and this grant would be a savior to my parents and me. Not only would this be helping me improve my songwriting technique, but it would open up an entirely new world for me in terms of internships, music venues, and music business. This is the most important thing to me and I want more than anything for it to work out. Through receiving this grant, I will be one step closer to pursuing my dreams.

When I was in fifth grade, lots of students interested in the arts were auditioning for the School of the Arts in my hometown. I worked with my music teacher and went to the audition feeling prepared. I left feeling mildly okay about the experience but was not sure what to make of it just yet. A few weeks went by and I heard back from the school and was told that I was not accepted into the school. I was devastated. Being so young, I had big dreams of being a singer/songwriter like Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat. While experiencing defeat like that so young so hard, it taught me from a young age that if I really wanted to pursue music then I had to work hard. I knew that if it's what I really wanted to then I wasn't going to give up. Shortly after I got a voice teacher and began writing some great songs. I recalled the setback as something I wasn't going to let define me. Throughout middle school, I made leads in all three musicals. When I got to high school, I managed to get into Senior Choir as a Junior. I took AP Music theory receiving an A by the end of the year. I still have big dreams for myself because I believe in my ability to bounce back and improve with each setback. Looking back at my audition, I feel as though I could have prepared better and I could have done more to impress the judges. In the end, I am glad I ended up at the middle school and high school that I did because I am not sure I would have the drive that I do now. I have learned from this experience that things happen for a reason, and I try to remain optimistic about these beliefs.

The major that I would love to pursue in college is Songwriting at Belmont University. The program includes such great opportunities that will line me up for success. My education in music has been a long journey and one that I have worked hard at. I participated in Theater and Choir all throughout middle school. Learning basic music theory skills that prepared me for my future in music in high school. I have been in choir all throughout high school and took AP Music Theory that helped me make it into the Senior Choir as a Junior. Choir and AP Music Theory has done wonders for me as a musician and helped me immensely as a writer and singer. In terms of my writing, I have taken Honors English and AP Lang, which have given me lots of help in terms of thinking like a better writer. All the classes I have taken have helped me improve and grow. I have accumulated so much knowledge that is necessary to pursue the career I want. I am so lucky to have such great opportunities in my schools that allow me to be the best student I can be.

My step-sister, Nina, is my best friend. Without her constantly cracking jokes and being such a great listener, my life would not be complete. We have both had difficult experiences with our biological parents, hers being her dad and mine being my mom. We have bonded over it since she was 3 and I was 5. Having someone who understands you so well is something I am so lucky to have. I can tell her anything without fear of judgement, and she can do the same with me. To say I love her and appreciate her is an understatement. I wouldn't be able to get through life without her because she is the person I go to when I am experiencing something difficult. I am so beyond lucky have my best friend turn into my sister. Girls dream of something like that coming true and it happened for me. She is the funniest person I know and also the best person I know. I can always count on her to be real with me and to give me great advice. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

My family got my dog from my mom's past coworker. We named him Fenway after my dad's love for the Boston Red Sox. We have had him for about 11 years and got him when he was 2. He is chill and kind and so loving, but he has one major fault. When he passes gas. It feels as though you have to gasp for air. If he is in the room with you during one of his episodes you have to evacuate the building or you will PERIL. It's bittersweet I suppose. He's the sweetest, smelliest dog to exist.

When I was in fifth grade, lots of students interested in the arts were auditioning for the School of the Arts in my hometown. I worked with my music teacher and went to the audition feeling prepared. I left feeling mildly okay about the experience but was not sure what to make of it just yet. A few weeks went by and I heard back from the school and was told that I was not accepted into the school. I was devastated. Being so young, I had big dreams of being a singer/songwriter like Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat. While experiencing defeat like that so young so hard, it taught me from a young age that if I really wanted to pursue music then I had to work hard. I knew that if it's what I really wanted to then I wasn't going to give up. Shortly after I got a voice teacher and began writing some great songs. I recalled the setback as something I wasn't going to let define me. Throughout middle school, I made leads in all three musicals. When I got to high school, I managed to get into Senior Choir as a Junior. I took AP Music theory receiving an A by the end of the year. I still have big dreams for myself because I believe in my ability to bounce back and improve with each setback. Looking back at my audition, I feel as though I could have prepared better and I could have done more to impress the judges. In the end, I am glad I ended up at the middle school and high school that I did, because I am not sure I would have the drive that I do now. I have learned from this experience that things happen for a reason, and I try to remain optimistic with these beliefs.

I often like to make posts about mental health, body image, confidence, and other topics similar, but when I wrote this I really wanted to encourage people to make a shift in their lives. I was going through a huge period of growth in my life, where I began to see things a little clearer. I wanted people to experience it with me because I know they are capable of it. The responses I received were so heartwarming and I was so glad to see so many people feeling connected to the message.

One thing I am incredibly good at is smiling. I can give a closed-lipped smile that suggests I’m quiet, but still an intriguing person. I could show off my pearly whites, though I’ve never been too fond of my teeth. What about a laughing smile? I’ve always been quite risible. While any of these would do, my best smile is the one I used when I wasn’t happy at all. “I’m not depressed. I’m just tired of living life like an impulsive liar. I wanna be the kind of girl I put on the face to be, but I’m actually terrified of what others think of me.” Those are the first few lyrics to a song I wrote called “Where Did All the Color Go?” Growing up, I had unfortunately developed of faking happiness to please others, and myself.“ Is breathing not hard for you? Air tastes like gasoline. Where did all the color go? Grass feels like straw, clouds look like smoke. Sunshine burns my fragile skin, my cheeks turn red, I don’t like it.” I wondered how actual confident people could walk through life so carelessly. Were they genuinely as self-secure as they appeared, or were they only faking it like I was? “How long do you think it’ll take to hold my breath ‘til all the color completely fades?” “Hold my hand, it feels like sandpaper and my mouth is dry from withered words. My libra shows when I can’t decide if how I'm living’s wrong or right.” Subconsciously, I knew that what I was doing wasn’t healthy for me, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I didn’t want to lead anyone to believe that I was anything, but the perfect person I portrayed. “But when I wake each day with a weight upon my chest, it’s ironic how breathing in toxic air’s the only way to fix it.” With all the time I spent working on my image, I never actually tried to develop real, internal change. I had looked into things like meditation and daily affirmations from a defensive standpoint. One morning I swallowed my pride, turned on 528hz, and began whispering mantras to myself. I did this for about a week and it was like the fog that had sat upon my life had lifted. I was able to smile without straining my face muscles. “The Law of Attraction is the only way I know how to fix it.” I started to actively use these practices in my daily life. “Manifesting satisfaction until I’m happily seeing action.” I saw positive changes in my life and felt less like a fraud because I was becoming the person that I had been pretending to be. “But even when I’m motivated color seems to fade from the world. Losing all my senses, losing sight of what I’m actually here for.” I am still working on becoming a truly confident and happy person, but now I know that things aren’t so black and white.