On March 23, 2019, I sat at my mom's side as she took her last breath. I believe it is important to live a healthy lifestyle for two reasons: to live longer with a good quality of life and to set an example for our children and future generations. When I look at my family tree, the generations before me were healthy. My great-great grandparents, great-grandparents, and most of my grandparents lived independently, well into their 90s. This pattern changed in my grandparent generation and in my direct lineage. My mom's dad died from alcoholism in his 50s when I was five. In 2019, my mom died of ALS at the age of 61. She had survived breast cancer just a few years before that. My greatest motivation is is to break what is now a family pattern of addiction and sickness leading to death, which I am next in line for if my lifestyle mimics those who lived before me. I do not have it all figured out, but I am a lifelong learner, and there are several ways that I maintain a healthy lifestyle. While diet and movement are obvious factors in maintaining health, mental/emotional, relational, and spiritual factors are just as important. Keep reading to learn more about these less attended-to factors. I am generally a calm person. When I feel myself moving out of this relative feeling of calm, I ask a series of questions for which I keep a checklist. These questions center around sleep, fluids, fresh food, exercise, physical touch, and time with animals. When any one of these is disrupted, my life is minimally impacted. If multiple of these are disrupted, or the pattern continues for more than 2-3 days, I am an emotional wreck. The American Psychological Association (2013) says that while stress can sometimes be a productive force in our lives, ongoing exposure to it is dangerous. Chronic stress leads to mental health issues and, eventually, physical disease. It is important to me to mitigate my stress. Between family, work, and going back to school, I am evaluating and re-evaluating what is important in my life, what I can let go of, and what I am neglecting that I enjoy so that I can get back to that. Part of this evaluation process, for me, means moderation. A year ago, I had been sedentary due to health and mental health issues. Before this lack of exercise and lack of motivation in my life, I had been doing high-intensity workouts for years. It seemed I had knowledge and experience with physical extremes: working out like an animal or being a couch potato. I wondered, "What is the happy medium?" So, I started walking. It was just a couple of blocks at first, and a few months later, I walked an average of 2 miles a day with a single 4-5 mile walk once a week. Walking has improved my physical health by supporting weight loss and enhancing my cardiovascular health, and I have also found it to be a profound contemplative/spiritual activity. I imagine myself living healthy and happy well into my 90s. It would be amazing to be a centenarian (live to 100). I want to break the pattern established by my grandfather and mother so that I can be an example for my daughter and her generation of what health and happiness look this world that doesn't reflect that. References: American Psychological Association. (2013, January 1). How stress affects your health. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/health

One of the best things I ever did for myself and my family was join a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). Through my CSA, I pay for my membership for the season and, in exchange, receive my weekly share of fruits and vegetables from a local farm. The produce from my CSA has provided my family with some of the best superfoods we have ever had. The first year I signed up for my farm share, I was scared of what I would receive. Many of the foods were unfamiliar to me, and I had no idea how to prepare them. Thankfully, the farm sent recipes and plenty of support to its consumers to tell them how to prepare and eat foods like kale, pattypan squash, quince, sorel, purple broccoli, and Romanesco cauliflower. I love superfoods because they are so interesting and healthy. They taste great! Some superfoods are heirloom, meaning these are the original plants before foods become hybridized and chosen for their uniformity and other factors to market them for sale in mainstream stores. The results are more colors, textures, and flavors that all benefit the body. Oftentimes, they are grown organically and are non-GMO. When I received purple broccoli from the CSA, it had little to no bugs compared to the green broccoli covered in bugs. No chemicals were sprayed on either broccoli. Superfoods aren't limited to fruits and vegetables, and I go beyond my CSA to find local sources of eggs, meat, and honey. Eggs grown locally on property in the country or in backyards in town have delicious rich, dark yolks. Animals grown nearby are raised in pastures. They are happy to graze and are never sent to the factory. The results are healthier and tastier food. I love to prepare food, so you can imagine me looking through my favorite cookbook or on Pinterest for the best ideas for preparing the foods that are in-season, any time of the year. One of my favorite and easiest ways of incorporating superfoods into my diet is with a fruit and vegetable smoothie every day. Smoothies are not only for fruits, so mine starts with raw zucchini and cauliflower. I promise you can not taste them, and zucchini gives smoothies a texture similar to banana without the banana flavor. From there, I add nut milk and frozen berries. As much as I love superfoods, my diet is not perfect. The benefit of a smoothie in the morning is I get multiple servings of fresh fruits and vegetables first thing in the morning. That way, if my diet falls apart later, I feel confident that I had the boost earlier in the day. A couple of ideas for food-reluctant people would be to add a vegetable or two to your smoothie in the morning. Hemp seeds, chia seeds, yogurt, and oats are some other additions to add superfood nutrients to your smoothies. I also suggest looking for eggs from a backyard or other local resource, and if you have the ability to pay or put in physical labor on a farm, sign up for a CSA. Farmers Market is another great place to set your eyes on and try some amazing superfoods.

Being patient is essential to me because it's one of the virtues of unconditional love. Patience is a universal language practiced with those we feel the closest to or with total strangers. As a universal language, it has the potential to impact individuals and societies. I admit that day-to-day events in life attempt to unseat me from my patience, like, on the road when cars go slow or the stoplight lasts too long. Personal benefits of patience include better mental health, being a good friend and neighbor, and a better chance of achieving our goals. As an antithesis of stress, patience leads to better overall health. As a mom to a teenager, patience has opened doors to trust and better communication. When I stopped insisting on being right, practiced silence, and listened more than I spoke, my child opened up to me in brand new ways. As hard as these changes have been to make, the trust I've gained has been priceless. As a future counselor, these practices will continue to earn the trust of those I'm working with and show them that I have unconditional positive regard for them, a hallmark of an effective therapist. I want people to be comfortable with me, and I want to set an example for the rest of the world to follow. When I practice patience, I learn so much about others, including those from other cultures, religions, and backgrounds. Society tends to value working harder and producing more, and I believe we are more unhealthy physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually than ever before. When we practice patience, it results in more healthy outcomes for ourselves and those around us.

My goal in life is two sides of the same coin: (1) to live my own best life and (2) to walk alongside others on their own journeys of healing and self-discovery towards living their own best lives. An unwanted (by one parent) baby, I was born to a single mom. She endured abuse early in my life and those first few years were marked by moving around a lot and instability. In the midst of that, my earliest memories are of spending time with a grandfather who was present and by the time I was in first grade, the man my mom married adopted me. Ephesians 1:5 in the Bible tells us that humanity was predestined for adoption. Through the filter of religion, this means that God has adopted us. From the standpoint of the experiences we have in this life on earth, I was predestined for adoption through a man who fell just as in love with me as he did with my mom. The rest of my childhood was marked simultaneously by painful experiences and memories of relationships with people who were stable and loved me, no matter what. In my adult life, I had more painful experiences and for the first time, began to recognize that grief, anxiety, and depression had been present in my life for just about as long as I could remember. At one point, I wished that I could just be removed from the pain because it felt so hopeless to ever get to the other side of it. Having come through some really hard times, I've grown to realize that the only way to the other side of the feelings that come with difficult experiences is to go through them. There is no magic wand or recipe that will take the feelings away, but there are ways to mitigate them. When I reached the other side, I realized I was stronger. When metal is heated and cooled, it becomes free of unwanted impurities and demonstrates greater strength and stability. I am like that metal. Through the inferno of hard times and the feelings that come with those experiences, I have come out the other side stronger and more stable. I also have the knowledge that when hard times come again, I will get through them because I have already gone through really hard things. My desire now is to walk alongside others who are feeling hopeless, trapped, and seeking a way out. Getting my Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling will put me on track to becoming a licensed counselor in my state. As the wife of a police officer, I'm keenly aware of the trauma that first responders experience and I'm personally aware of the secondary trauma that wives and kids experience as a result of the events our family members go through. I want to touch lives in my community in order to let people know that they matter and that while life is hard, there is someone there to help them get through it. I want to strengthen marriages and families, help people discover the tools they have to help them grow, and ultimately help them become the best version of themselves that they can be! In the midst of what seems like so much mental unhealth in our society, I have a beautiful vision that mental health will begin to grow as a light in the midst of dark times.

I received the most helpful financial advice: "live below your means." We live in a society that focuses on materials and keeping up with our neighbors. When we fixate on what others have and the messages that come from media rather than being satisfied with what we have, we create a recipe that leads to possibly not being able to cover necessities. Compounding that is our need for instant gratification-to have what I want right now. The ease of getting or adding a credit card or new line of debt contributes to additional debt. According to Experian, the average credit card debt in the United States was $5,525 (https://www.creditcards.com/statistics/credit-card-debt-statistics-1276/#sources). The average monthly car payment in 2021 was $677 across all types of car loans/leases and credit scores (https://www.lendingtree.com/auto/debt-statistics/). A couple of actions I take that help me live below my means include buying food in bulk on sale to preserve for meals at home that are a fraction of the cost of eating out and paying cash for used cell phones while having a "pay as you go" plan with my service provider. These are just a couple of actions I've taken in a much bigger picture of daily choices over a long time to live within my means to lower and eliminate debt. A couple of benefits of living below my means are setting an example for the next generation and giving. My kids need to live contrary to the world's expectations around materialism and acquisition. If I spend less to save more and keep it to myself, what is the point? Joyful giving goes hand in hand with simple living. In summary, I live below my means to lower and eliminate debt. I do this for myself and the next generation and give back.

My education has always supported my family. With undergraduate degrees in psychology and child development, I'm an adept communicator, always focused on prioritizing my marriage and the development of my child to be a happy, healthy family of well-adjusted people. The tables have turned, and now, my family is supporting me in going back to school. My family's support looks like them being my biggest cheerleaders. My higher education will allow me to not only support my family emotionally and developmentally, but also financially in the future. About a year ago, I knew that change was on the horizon. Sometimes, I get a sense of these things. I didn't know what was coming or what it would look like, but the revelation hit me. I called my daughter and asked her, " What do you think about mom going back to school to start counseling people?" She said, "DO IT!". She is interested in the social sciences so I am setting examples that it's never too late to be inspired and follow your dreams, that when we set a goal there are steps to get to the next point in our journey, and that by perservering we can continue on the path set before us. I'll complete my education when my daughter graduates high school. My income will allow my family to stay out of debt while putting our child through school as she pursues her own dreams. I'll also gain skills as a marriage and family therapist that will allow me to continue on the journey of a strong and joy-filled marriage, remain a parent that is emotionally present, and play a major role in walking alongside my immediate and extended family members through their own journeys of self-discovery and healing. Being a parent has been a huge part of shaping me into the person I am becoming. Higher education is the next logical step and with my counseling degree, I'll be able to get a license and certification that supports my family, the next generation, and plays apart in the transformation of lives and my community. As the wife of a police officer, I realize that "family" extends beyond the 4 walls of my house so I look forward to touching the lives impacted by stress, trauma, and mental challenges that come with the job and being married to a law enforcement officer. In summary, my higher education impacts me personally, my immediate family, as well as my extended family and the group of first responders around me. I'm excited to hone the skills I was born with and add to those the theories and methods that will come alongside others as they discover the best versions of themselves.

One personal finance lesson that I find important is living simply while giving joyfully. I used to teach personal finance classes and these two topics (living simply and giving joyfully) were often combined to be my favorite session to facilitate. One example of living simply is not having the newest and greatest cell phone released. Rather, shop for the one that's a couple of years old, pay cash, and use it for as long as you can on a prepaid cell phone plan. Also, rent a movie from the local movie box while bringing home popcorn and your favorite treats for a movie in the living room. This is fun for the family and so much more affordable than tickets and snacks at the movie theater. The week I taught this class, I would provide a gift code for the local movie box with a bag of microwave popcorn and a box of movie theater candy. This simple gift for participants was a welcome reward for tracking spending and beginning to save. Because my family lives simply, we can occasionally splurge on going to the movie theater or on a family vacation. Another benefit of living simply is giving joyfully. We have a handful of charitable contributions we give regularly and it makes us happy to support those who are on the front lines of helping those in need. It's important for each person to evaluate their spending to see where they can cut costs. We live in a materialistic society that pressures us to have more and keep up with others. Consumerism robs our joy. When we become satisfied with what we have and have less, we realize how much more we really have: time, money, the ability to give back, and so much more.

One of my favorite hobbies is spending time with my pets. Whether it’s napping, pouncing, clucking, purring, sunning, watching, eating, or grooming, these are just some of the activities that I do or like to watch my cats and chickens do. I like spending time with my pets because I get a great deal of joy from them. Pets reduce stress and provide other advantages to their owners. Pets have been found to reduce anxiety and depression, ease loneliness, and even improve cardiovascular health. When I pet my cat or hear it purr, I swear that I can feel my blood pressure lower. Cats are also a good lesson in gaining permission since they will only be pet on their terms. If you’re wondering what's so great about chickens, they are great conversationalists. Have you ever seen a chicken take a dust bath? It’s just about the cutest activity ever! In 2014, I had major surgery. I spent 11 days resting, mostly in bed recovering from that medical procedure. One of my cats didn’t leave my side. She laid close enough to touch me where I could hear and feel her purring. I’m aware that I healed quickly, in record time, according to my doctor. I attribute this at least in part to the time my cat stayed next to me to help me heal. I think that if our pets can help us heal from major trials in life, just imagine the impact they can have on the small day-to-day events in life. As a student applying for scholarships, pets can be a good business opportunity. I’m available to pet-sit, dog walk, and run pet-related errands for other pet owners. It’s incredible when you realize that you can turn one passion into a way to support yourself and your next step in life! I truly am a lover of all animals and I’m glad that I can turn that love into helping myself pay for school while potentially lowering stress, setting my own schedule, and helping out others in my neighborhood and community. In summary, there are many benefits to having a hobby that involves pets. Spending time with them brings so much delight, they have positive health benefits, and they can even provide a business opportunity for you to support yourself or put yourself through school. These are just a few of the reasons why pets are my favorite hobby.

It's the last week of school. I look at my schedule and realize, "I haven't attended one class since the first week of school! I haven't studied or submitted assignments and I'm going to fail! It's too late to withdraw!" This is a recurring dream and one that never becomes reality. Many strategies come in handy for studying and having an organized life. I have calendars, to-do lists, schedule time for myself, and prioritize what needs to be accomplished first. In this technological age, I still enjoy having a schedule book that allows me to write appointments, meetings, carpool, and more. Colored pens motivate me to write things down. I have a wall calendar that allows me to take notes, make a to-do list, and have a quick at-a-glance each day when it's less convenient to open my schedule book. Finally, when I need an additional nudge, I have my cell phone to ping an electronic reminder to me especially on busy days so I don't forget that haircut or lunch meeting. As someone who recently quit working outside the home in order to attend school online, it's important to me to program activities that help me balance exercise, self-care, and time outside the house. There are days when something important pops up unexpectedly or when I realize I put something off too long so it needs to be done right away, so prioritization is important. In conclusion, with good organizational skills, I can balance my studies and personal life in a way that facilitates peace and calm. Keeping a calendar, to-do lists, scheduling time for myself, and prioritizing tasks are just a handful of ways I stay organized for academic success and avoid the anxiety that comes in the form of nightmares like the one I shared.