My mother has helped me so much become the student I am today. I live in Missouri, but my closest family, aside from my mother, are in California. We have basically been on our own since I was born, and have gone through really difficult situations where we did not have any resources or help. No matter what we went through, my mom always wanted me to do well in school and be involved in our community. She has always supported me in school, and motivates me to keep straight-A grades. She helps me study and is always proud to brag to our family about my accomplishments. Having this experience growing up came in stark contrast to my experience tutoring at the local middle school last year. I have always had an easy time with learning and school work. Being able to help students who were struggling academically was so incredibly rewarding, because I could see the connections being made and know that my actions were making a difference in these students’ lives, especially when they did not have the same family support I did. She is also a large part of why I am going out-of-state for college. There is a university in my hometown that would be way more affordable, but it does not have what I want to study (historic preservation). Rather than trying to convince me to stay somewhere I would not be happy, because it would be easier, she has fully supported me moving to Virginia. It will be a huge financial burden, but she knows how passionate I am about history and preservation. She knows that moving is what is best for me and my future career. Beyond just academic support, my mom has also provided a ton of emotional support throughout my life. When I came out as bisexual, my mom immediately accepted it and wanted to help make my life safer. When I experienced homophobia from fellow students, my mom helped me go to my teacher to solve the issue. My mom has also become more understanding of the LGBTQ+ community and the politics around it. She stays up-to-date on legislation in Missouri that affects students. She has also encouraged me to speak out about issues in my community. I know that she will always have my back and that my safety will always be her priority. My mom has always had high expectations for me, but she also knows what I am capable of and has helped me achieve things that I didn't know were possible. She has shaped everything about who I am as a person. I know that even when I am halfway across the country, she will always be there for me when I need her. I know that I will be there because of her.

My love of history is inherently tied to my own family. I’m incredibly lucky to still be able to have conversations with my Great-Grandma Bea, who will turn 95 this August. Through her, I’ve learned so much about what life was like in the 1930s and 1940s in a tiny Missouri town of only 500 people. To me, history is all the more real and important in my everyday life, because I’m still able to have these conversations with people that lived through it. Talking to her has helped me realize the importance of trying to save similar stories from going unremembered and is a major part of why I am dedicating my life to preserving history. I began volunteering at the Adair County Historical Society when I was 16, making me the youngest volunteer by about five decades. This past year, I’ve transcribed a memoir handwritten by a local veterinarian and studied the in-take records from the County Infirmary. Through these sources, I’ve gotten to learn so much about life in my hometown 50 to 100 years ago. These were people and things that had an important place in my community, but no one remembers them. I am currently transcribing the diary of 2nd Lt. Artemas Stewart, a Union soldier who enlisted in 1862 at 16. I’ve learned that he fought at the Battle of Gettysburg and died at the Battle of Petersburg when he was 18. Although I haven’t gotten very far in the journal, I can tell that he was just like any other teenage boy. He wrote about an actress he thought was pretty and complained about how bored he was waiting to travel. Knowing that he was younger than I am now and preparing to go to war, feels almost absurd; like it shouldn’t be possible. I knew before that teenagers were soldiers, but actually holding the papers that he wrote on 160 years ago, made it feel real. My love of history is why I’m moving to Fredericksburg, VA. I have gotten to hear and read so many stories that could have so easily been forgotten. Because of this, I want to work in an archive and preserve records and stories. The University of Mary Washington (UMW) has the oldest undergraduate historic preservation major in the country, and it was built on the site of the Battle of Fredericksburg. Additionally, there are off-campus opportunities to intern at the James Monroe Museum, the Smithsonian Museums, various Civil War battlefields, and the homes of some of our nation’s Founding Fathers. No other college gives me that same access to history and the opportunity to really study it. UMW also gives me the chance to continue doing community service. My childhood is a large part of why I participate in community service and believe in helping others whenever possible. As someone raised by a single mother, I’ve experienced the good that local organizations and volunteers have done to help families and kids. As a student at UMW, I want to join the Center for Community Engagement, which provides constant opportunities to volunteer at schools and low-income communities in-and-around Fredericksburg. This includes tutoring and delivering blankets, hygiene packages, and food to schools. With these efforts, I can play my part in helping students succeed. One day, hopefully when a descendant or a small-town historical society archivist finds records of me, they’ll know that I dedicated my life to helping people and preserving their memories. Nothing could bring me greater joy than to know that I made a difference in either of those fields.

It is a miracle that I have been able to accomplish as much as I have for as long as I have. I have been a straight-A student since fourth grade, and am currently taking four weighted classes. Under it all, I am an absolute mess. However, I am working on improving my life by understanding my diagnoses and working towards changing my behavior. In the last six months, I’ve been diagnosed with autism, ADHD, anxiety, and depression, though I have had symptoms of each for years. Being diagnosed with these during probably the hardest semester of my life is honestly a funny experience, because a lot of the things I’ve gone through suddenly make sense. Earlier this year I started having panic attacks at school. It took experiencing several attacks, before I realized that they were caused by overstimulation, specifically competing noises. These reactions were actually what prompted my doctor to screen for autism and ADHD. Having a formal diagnosis and researching more of the symptoms and effects of AuDHD has helped me find ways to cope. I’ve started using fidgets and calm strips to help with stress and overstimulation. While I’ve learned healthy skills as a result of my diagnosis, there are also the issues that arose earlier in my life. Going undiagnosed with autism and ADHD for my entire life has taught me to be very self-sufficient, but in an unhealthy way. A lot of my high-achieving behavior originates in my perfectionism, specifically portraying a perfect image. Most people see a well-put together individual, but that is not the case. I don’t like asking for help because I’m used to being the perfect child. If I don’t understand something, it’s because I did it wrong. I can’t let myself be noticed for a negative reason. That’s why I always turn in my work on time and get upset when someone, especially an adult, points out an error I’ve made, even if it’s harmless or constructive. While these are behaviors that I still have, and they have sort of helped me throughout school, they are incredibly unhealthy. I honestly wonder if I would be having such a hard time right now, if I hadn’t put so much pressure on myself to be perfect earlier in school. I’m slowly trying to unteach myself all of the negative habits I’ve let build up over the years. The largest issues that I often deal with are absolute last-minute procrastination on assignments, and self-doubt and isolation whenever I don’t immediately understand something. I’ve taken my first steps at correcting these habits. I finally took my first mental health day. I knew that I would be too overwhelmed at school and would worry nonstop about a slew of upcoming projects; so, I spent an entire day just sitting at home, watching Doctor Who, and working on a couple of essays. I let myself break my self-made rule about having to attend every single class, and it felt great. It showed me that it’s okay to stop for a bit and “miss out” on things for the sake of my mental health. I know that I’m still going to struggle with my negative habits for years to come. But, I think that overtime I will get better at setting limits and goals for myself that I can actually accomplish. My university also has several resources, including free on-campus counseling for students, that I can take advantage of to help me adapt to life in another state. By attending counseling sessions and continuing educating myself, I believe that I can eventually fix my current habits.