Life has never been easy and has not always been kind, but if there is one thing that I think is important for me to take away from my experiences, they have made me strong. Growing up, my mother was in and out of prison due to substance abuse issues, and my father was never present, leaving when I was pretty young; I was left in the laps of my grandparents. They worked hard, but they weren't ready to take on the challenge of raising me, nor could they really afford to; because of this, we have always had financial issues. While living paycheck-to-paycheck is a battle of its own, it was little compared to the life-long struggle of undiagnosed ADHD that I would deal with unknowingly until just this last year. Because of this, I grew up questioning why I was so weird, why I didn't fit in, why I didn't understand things, why I stood out; my diagnosis was a revelation I am eternally grateful for. I remember when I sat with my grandparents at a restaurant one night (a rare commodity for us), I told them that after I got out of high school, I wanted to go to University for an Engineering degree. This is incredibly admirable, but their reaction was what would sit with me for the rest of my life; they laughed. My would-be exciting news was met with laughter, and then the cruelty set in. "Why? That's not a place for a woman." It's almost as if every shred of ambition I had for my education and future had crumbled to dust. I wound up dropping out of high school at the end of my Sophomore year and spent most of my days doing nothing. I had so little care and motivation it began to eat away at me; I questioned how I could ever fathom doing something so ambitious for myself when it was not *for* me. I would continue to feel this way for years until the summer of 2018, when I went out and got my GED, thanks to a local Good Will program that educated and sponsored me into testing. I finally felt that sense of pride I had been aching for again. I worked a job I hated for about a year before I finally took my education back into my hands and said, "This is not where the story ends for me." I registered for summer classes with CVCC in 2019 and began working on my Associates in General Education. After this, I transferred to my choice 4-year University and started my degree in Computer Science. STEM has always been a fascinating field of study that has been my interest. As a first-generation college student from a low-income family, I have always struggled with my ambitions and frequently work with my thoughts and feelings about how equipped I am for this type of degree. I feel so out of my depth most days, but I remind myself constantly that I am and will be a woman many others can see as a source of pride. I want to be someone young girls can look to and see themselves. They should never let the thoughts of others rule their lives as I had. Be the change you want to see; be the woman you want to be. Don't let anyone stop you from achieving your goals. You are worth so much, and I want to show them that it's possible.

Math has never been easy for me growing up and I never knew why; it felt like almost everything I did was impossible. I didn't understand things the same way the other kids did, I didn't think as quickly, or act as fast-- I thought I was stupid. But now that I'm an adult, and I've put in the hard work, the time, and the effort to get myself to the point where I am now, I know what was wrong. I had gone all those years with an untreated and undiagnosed educational disability. But here I am, stronger than ever and making my way in a world that hasn't always been fair to me. Mathematics is so deeply ingrained into everything we do, see and love, it's everywhere. I have always been in-love with technology and the incredible advancements it can provide if you are sharp enough and ready to go for the risky, inventive approach. I have always aspired to apply myself in fields that others told me I was never equipped to operate in, Computer Science being one of them. I love numbers, and code-- the complexity of it all is like an art form to me. It's beautiful, and complicated, and sometimes it just doesn't make sense, but that's what I love about it; It reminds me of myself. I am complex, I am flawed, but I am me and people will love me for that at the end of the day, just like people love coding and programming, or solving a difficult equation. It takes time, patience and a lot of effort, but it is always worth it in the end.