The alarm clock goes off at 6:30am. I get out of bed and storm straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I enter my bedroom to put on my work clothes and shoes. I stumble downstairs and walk to the kitchen. My eyes are blurry because I am still tired and didn't get a good sleep the night before. I open the refrigerator so I can pull out the ingredients to make me breakfast. I inhale my breakfast because I don't have time to enjoy my meal. I look at my clock to see what time is it. 'Oh my goodness, I am running late.' I run out the door and to my car. I had to wait a few minutes for my car to heat up. Once my car is warm and toasty, I drive 20 minutes to my job and parked in an available parking spot. I get out of my car and lock it. I enter the building, clock in, and walk to my cubicle. I am in the same place for 8 hours with a 30 minute lunch break. At the end of the work day, I say, 'Goodnight and see you tomorrow.' I clock out, head out the door, and drive home. I only have a few hours to complete my errands. Its time to go to sleep, so I shower and do my beauty routine. I change into my pajamas, slip in my bed, and I am going to repeat the same routine tomorrow. And the next day, then the next week, then the next month, then the next couple of years. I will continue to do this routine until I retire or probably die. Periodically throughout the year, I will have mini-vacations and time off. Does this look like living the life of my dreams? Am I living the life that I deserve? No. The answer is no, but this is the life that we are forced to live. When I was a child, my parents would say to me that if you get a job that you love, you will never have to work a day in your life. I used to believe this illusion. That working a well-paying job will grant me happiness. I understand why they thought this way. In order to have freedom in this society, it requires financial security. Time is money. We exchange our time for money. The life of the average civilian. Happiness is not a goal-post, it is an emotion. Striving for happiness is an eternal journey because our daily lives can be depressing. What I aspire to have is more moments of happiness rather than anxiety and depression. So the life that I would love to live is stress free, sustainable, and environmentally friendly. I am in a constant state of relaxation and peace. I would reside in a cottage house where I can grow my own flowers, plants, fruits, and vegetable. My furniture, clothes, and appliances are made out of sustainable materials life natural fibers and stainless steel. I would have a library containing various types of books. The dream is have a calm and slow life, where I don't have to worry. I can enjoy my euphoric environment. The scenery of the blue sky with white clouds, and the smell of green grass with multi-color flowers. I witness animals in their natural habitat. The typical desired life is to become a billionaire to own 11 restate properties, 3 yachts, 1 jet plane, and a vacation island. But my dream life is simple.

Every Saturday when I was a child, I would go with my mother to Wegmans for groceries. Nobody loves grocery shopping with your parents. Always tagging along behind them like a lost puppy. But I was eager to go to the Wegmans. The second we entered Wegmans, I would pass the fresh produce and the toiletries aisle to enter the magazine aisle. I would only gravitate to the tween magazines, especially Tiger Beat and J-14. All of my favorite Disney and Nickelodeon stars were on the cover and included throughout the pages. Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, Keke Palmer, Zac Efron, etc. The list can go on. I would read the latest blind items and horoscopes. I would select who wore the outfit better. I also admired the inserted posters of my celebrity crushes. When my mom finished her shopping she would call me so that we could leave. I never asked her to buy them because it wasn't a necessity. Everything that I read would be engrained in my brain. When I read those magazines, it was like I was enchanted and entered an alternate world. Being an actor, a singer, an entertainer, and a CELEBRITY seemed so rewarding. I would always sing my favorite songs in my bedroom and perform like I was headlining a concert. I would wear my mom's wigs and heels and act like I am a Grammy award-winning singer who is a triple threat. This dream of mine started to fade as the years went by. I grew up in a low-income household, so my parents thought that it wasn't financially stable and reliable. I understood what they meant when I got older. The entertainment industry is harsh, exploitive, dangerous, and explicit. The difficult reality may have not affected every entertainer, but it is highly common. Memoirs, documentaries, and interviews of celebrities who expressed their concerns steered me away from this path. I put aside the beloved tween magazines and started to focus on my studies in high school. I still participated in theater arts in high school, but my top priority was my education. I was always a star student. I participated in multiple extracurricular activities and maintained a high GPA. The subject I was particularly great at was chemistry. My parents pushed me to pursue a STEM degree because the professions paid well. I thought that since I enjoyed my high school chemistry class I would make it my career. When I was a high school senior, I decided that I would be a pharmacist because their annual salary was over $130,000. My focus was to be financially stable because I grew up in a scarcity environment. I went to community college and then transferred to Rowan University. I struggled during my time at college, the courses were more challenging than I imagined. I was overwhelmed to the point where I wanted to drop out. I prevailed and graduated on the Dean's List. During my time at Rowan, I shifted the trajectory of my career path. At first, I wanted to do pharmacy, but then my advanced chemistry courses changed my mind. Inorganic, physical, and computational chemistry altered my goals. I took a gap year to dwell on my thoughts about my career path. By analyzing current events and universal concerns, I have chosen to become a research scientist in catalysis to combat the climate crisis. Natural disasters are happening more often because of environmental neglect. My primary focus is to live in a sustainable world. I still love the entertainment industry, but my focus changed.

I never had a choice if I was going to college or not. Ever since I was young it was engraved in me that I have to go to college and pursue a higher education. There were no ifs, and, and buts about it. That was it. I just had to go to college to get a well-paying job. At that time I didn’t have any authentic aspirations I wanted to achieve, I was only a young teenager. What was emphasized was that I had to major in something that would allow me to get paid well. So, stereotypically I chose STEM and the major was chemistry because I liked my high school chemistry class. I decided to become a pharmacist because their annual salary is estimated to be over $130,000. My ambition was driven by money and a simplistic generalization. I struggled heavily during the beginning of my college years. It got to a point where I failed a whole semester and was on academic probation. I was able to get out of that circumstance and obtain Dean’s List later on. I lacked passion during my undergraduate era because of the toxic scarcity mindset that I had. I wasn’t privileged enough to think about how I make an impact on today’s society, my decision was only for individualistic reasons. After graduation, I took a gap year because of how exhausted I was during that period. After dwelling on my thoughts and feelings and analyzing current events. I switched the trajectory of my focus. News websites and social media demonstrate the reality of the effects of climate change. Rising sea levels, peculiar hurricanes, droughts, heatwaves, wildfires, crop deprivation, etc. In today’s time, we collectively experience the side effects of climate change. There is not a clear-cut way to solve this problem, but a chemistry background could contribute to the solution. Environmentalists and scientists are working together to combat the climate crisis, and I want to be a part of it. I am enrolled in my master's program in Chemistry to become a research scientist specializing in catalysis to assist with the climate crisis. The petroleum industry and others alike contribute to the climate crisis, even if it is not intended. Greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide are released into the atmosphere because of their industrial practices and procedures. The excess amount of greenhouse gases disrupts the greenhouse effect causing the natural levels to go rampant. This causes natural disasters to appear. During the manufacturing of petroleum products, it is estimated that 80% of the time a catalyst is used. The reason why I want to specialize in catalysis is because it can lead to better practices within the industry. With catalysis, it can expand on carbon-reducing technology, for example, carbon capture. Carbon capture is where the excess carbon dioxide is sealed before it is released during the chemical process. It is not widely used because it is expensive and requires an extensive amount of energy. Researching potential catalysts that can reduce the usage of energy and be less expensive, can be life-changing. This is a perfect way to strive for sustainability and environmental friendliness. This world is experiencing tragedy after tragedy, and being in a field that focuses on its betterment is beneficial. To do this, I need higher education, which is costly. For me to be financially secure I have to work while attending university. It is difficult to focus on my studies and work simultaneously. There is not enough hours in a day to complete all of my tasks.

Imagine what it feels like to be cautious every menstrual period. The blood flow is hefty to the point where you must take off work and/or school. Imagine changing your menstrual pad every thirty minutes because of excessive leakage. Most women may think this is normal or 'It is just a part of life!' Heavy menstrual bleeding is one of the symptoms of uterine fibroids. I can relate to this personally because my mother had fibroids. Her menstrual bleeding was so horrendous that she had to get a hysterectomy. She would have to drive home from work every menstrual period because of the bleeding. She had to beg the gynecologist to give her a hysterectomy. Later on, the gynecologist stated that it saved her life and that the fibroids were contributing to her discomfort. My mother is not the only woman going through this, it is estimated that 40%-80% of women have uterine fibroids. Most may not know because they might not experience obvious symptoms, but the ones that do may have to get them surgically removed. Even though fibroids are common, they shouldn't be normalized because the symptoms can negatively impact women's daily lives. It can affect their daily routine, relationships, and even overall confidence. I believe that uterine fibroids are so common because there is a lack of research and awareness on this issue. I want to become a research scientist in cheminformatics to assist with this ongoing problem. Cheminformatics is a computational technique for experimenting with and analyzing chemical data to create potential drug candidates. It can also be used to predict, design, and synthesize chemical compounds. The most important aspect of cheminformatics is that it analyzes the biological activity of those chemical compounds. By theoretically synthesizing and analyzing these chemical compounds, they can become potential drug candidates. Experimenting with how those drug candidates operate throughout the body, they could potentially reduce or even heal the issue. Contraceptives (also known as birth control) are used to treat the symptoms of uterine fibroids. There is a stereotype that birth control is only used to stop pregnancies, which is not entirely true. Birth control is commonly used to regulate hormones. In this case with uterine fibroids, birth control is used to reduce the heavy menstrual bleeding and the probability of them forming. The problem of uterine fibroids isn't necessarily treated. One of my aspirations is to dedicate my research to altering the genetic makeup of daily contraceptives to directly heal uterine fibroids. By studying various alternative contraceptives, there can be a chance that it may work and solve the problems women regularly go through. There is not enough research about women's bodies in general. Approximately, less than 5% of the global Research & Development funding goes to women's health. It makes sense that the majority of the medicines that are catered to us aren't necessarily as effective. My primary goal is to change that narrative. There needs to be more women in the scientific research field. I want to obtain a master's in Chemistry so I can go on to become a research scientist. Finding a cure for uterine fibroids is one of my greatest passions. Just like my mother, I too experienced the hardships of uterine fibroids. I understand the pain they bring. I will eventually create a non-profit organization to spread awareness about uterine fibroids. Women with this issue usually suffer in silence, and I want to be the voice for people who don't. Thank you Lauren Newmark for creating this scholarship and spreading awareness. I am grateful for the work that you and others alike do.

Being vulnerable, depressed, and melancholy was seen as a weakness in many households. Numerous times, people have been told that their feelings never matter. 'You are too old to cry!", or 'Why are you super sensitive?' Imagine what this ideology does to an individual, it mentally damages him. Their statements were drilled into them, resulting in emotionally unstable individuals. They can get so depressed and anxious it can lead them to be suicidal. Therapy can work, but it can result in triggering flashbacks, and it is too expensive without health insurance. I believe the lack of trust and moral support causes people to have negative mental health. Depressed and anxious people always feel like they are the black sheep, nobody understands them. They are outcasted, and their needs aren't met. They don't trust other people because of their unstable environment. They need a collaborative community where they can express themselves freely without worrying about being judged. So when I was in college, I established a book club called "The Healing of Reading". So college students can have a comfortable place where they can share their interests and express their creativity. Positive expression is a great way to release stress and heartache, it is also another way to build a community. The Healing of Reading book club was so successful, that 200 people joined and it is still active after I graduated. I am so grateful for what I and others have accomplished in a short time. My admiration for literature transcended to the point where I changed my STEM degree to English. Most people don't appreciate liberal arts because of the stereotype that it is not profitable. Which I disagree with. I am obtaining my master's degree in library science and becoming a full-time librarian. I don't only want to make people love reading but also promote that libraries are a safe place to ask for assistance. Libraries have an infinite amount of resources that most people don't think they have access to. Libraries are the perfect way to build a collaborative society. Libraries are the best third space to attend because it is free. Libraries are the home way from home. As a librarian, I won't only focus on literature and research, but also on humanities as well. If I receive this scholarship, I will utilize the funding wisely to support activities that assist other's mental health.

I found it comical how simple I thought college was going to be. I was always a star student when I attended high school. I participated in numerous extracurricular activities and maintained a 4.0 GPA. I was an overachiever in high school, so I assumed I would be beyond proficient in college. I assumed wrong. I would like to say that my mental health declined significantly while I attended university. My lack of effort and the extreme sacrifices I made during college negatively impacted my mental health, which affected my academic performance and my personal life. I had just transferred to Rowan University during the Fall of 2020. Coursework was remote and I had become lazy. When I had decided to take my courses seriously, the worst thing happened. I was diagnosed with Covid-19 during that semester. I had pneumonia because of the coronavirus. I wasn’t capable of doing my finals during that time. I was significantly weak even after I left the hospital. I failed my first semester at Rowan University. I was on academic probation, this created great pain in my soul because I never failed at this scale. I went into a great depression causing me to have suicidal thoughts. This great failure taught me that I must take my education seriously. I may have taken this statement too literally. My only goal for the remainder of my time at Rowan was to only focus on college. I was on academic probation for the majority of my time at Rowan. Then I made the Dean’s List during my last semesters at Rowan. I have done everything to become a great scholar. It was mentally exhausting for me. The great sacrifice I made to achieve my success was my mental health. Having a school/life balance regulated my mental health. I thought that if I worked hard then I would be happy. I was still sad even after my grades improved. My anxiety heightened and panic attacks started. My mental health at that time destroyed my personal life, and I decided that I needed external help. The first thing that I did was download an app called Calm. It is one of the most popular meditation apps. I thought this app cease my overthinking. This did not help me, I was still having intense anxiety and depression. The next option was to go to a therapist. My issue wasn’t that I solely put effort into my college education, that is what is expected of me. The issue was my doubt and low self-esteem. Going to therapy made me realize my extreme actions toward my academic career stemmed from a lack of confidence. So my therapist suggested that I should have a thought log. If a particular event occurred and I had a negative thought, I would write it down in a journal, and then respond with a rational counterstatement. This method increased my confidence in myself improving my mental health. It took me a while to fully understand the importance of mental health. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is a statement my family lives by. I thought that neglecting my mental health would prepare me for the harsh realities of life. Making my mental health a priority induced peace in my heart. I took a gap year to focus on my mental health full-time. After many therapy sessions, my therapist and I decided that I was ready to go back to school. Obtaining a master’s degree is inevitably going to be overwhelming, but now I have made my mental health a top priority.

My answer is very unusual, but my favorite artist is Doja Cat. She has been doing music since 2014, but I discovered her when her song "Moo" became a viral hit online. I have been a fan of Doja Cat since the summer of 2018. The main reason why I adore her is that she is not afraid to express herself and importantly her aesthetic. She has the e-girl, cyberpunk, y2k, trendy girl vibe that I love. Doja Cat inspired me to be creative in my own individual way and try activities outside of my comfort zone.