My most meaningful failure has been being told I couldn't join the military. After living in a car for most of my childhood with my mom, my grandpa took me in to raise me. He was my only and best father figure in my life, and he served over 20 years in the Air Force. When he passed away a few years ago, it became my goal to commission him into the Air Force through AFROTC after graduating. Right before my freshman year at Washington State University, I was obsessed with accomplishing this goal. I lost over 40 pounds in a few months to qualify for a scholarship through ROTC and was in the best shape of my life; I lived and breathed the Air Force lifestyle. I was at the top of my class and had some of the highest test scores in my flight, but in a month, I lost all hope of fulfilling this dream. I was actually born intersex and had to do some medical transitioning to fully align with being male, and with Trump's new policy, this disqualifies me from any military service, and I even had to drop ROTC. A few days later, my brother died in a fatal car crash as a result of a drunk driver. How do you deal with loss? How do you deal with everything you thought was certain being ripped from beneath your feet? And what do you do next? At this point, I am working full time, in school full time, I have a girlfriend of over 4 years I need to support, and I was dependent on ROTC to fund my schooling, so unfortunately there was no time to wallow over what could have been I simply had to figure out what was next. Before my brother's funeral, my siblings and I went to thank the entire EMS and firefighting crew for attempting to save my brother's life. I was overcome by respect and gratitude for the staff and had a moment of clarity that this might be the path I wanted to take. I felt something in the universe pulling me as if this was the plan all along. Now here I am saving money to apply for my EMT and hopefully next my paramedics license then eventually firefighting school. I am grateful to be a first-generation student getting my bachelor's degree despite the environment I grew up in. Most of all, I am grateful to wake up in the morning and still have choices and opportunities. I am so sorry for your loss, and I thank you for making something good with your hurt.