We threw off our backpacks and plopped down, ready to rest after the weeklong backpacking trip. My youth group was exhausted, and as we sat down in the aspen shade, we were thankful for the reprieve. Then, our leader introduced the Barnabas Project to us. With an emphasis on encouragement, he explained how giving genuine compliments to each other can help us flourish and find our passion in ministry. As eager as I was to be praised, I was selected to go last. When it was eventually my turn, my leader dove into how he had seen me grow, not just on the trip, but in the years he had known me. He compared me to the quiet leader of Jesus, easily the most impactful compliment I had ever received.
Until Kate went, completely transforming my perspective on what I needed to prioritize.
Her brother, Hunter, was excited to enter middle school because he wanted to forge a relationship: with me. At this, I started bawling. Hunter, a quiet kid with whom I had rarely interacted, desired a relationship with me, the goofy Christian sophomore.
Shortly after the backpacking trip, my youth group leader reached out to ask if I wanted to lead WyldLife, a Christian ministry for middle schoolers. I wanted to recreate Hunter’s and my connection with others, so I eagerly accepted the opportunity. After training, we had our first WyldLife meeting, called Club. For one hour a week, we bonded at the meetings, playing baby food roulette and learning about Jesus.
The leaders wanted to create an inclusive environment, but some kids continually interrupted us and excluded others. Despite our efforts to lead by example, some remained in the same patterns for the first semester. This was frustrating, as I felt like I wasn’t living up to my epiphany. I was disciplining these kids, not shepherding them, and no change was coming from it.
As we entered the second semester, our challenges continued. The more I pushed against their behavior, the more they pushed back, not concentrating on the lessons, and missing the more important point of WyldLife: Jesus. Instead of continuing my resistance, I decided to listen. One Club, two best friends had a falling out, with shoes thrown and insults hurled. I took one aside, and instead of scolding him for his actions, I sat down with him. He explained to me the series of events that had led up to their fight, and how, more than anything, he was afraid of losing a friend.
My approach to leadership changed after this conversation. As the WyldLife semester progressed, I continued attentively listening to grow my relationships with the kids. We began having real conversations, and the environment of peace and fun I desired for WyldLife began to manifest. Granted, we still had problems, but with my new perspective on leading, they became more remediable. I needed to listen, not command; serve, not control.
Service is a lifelong commitment. WyldLife taught me that leadership grows from empathy, listening, and genuine connection. At Notre Dame, I will use economics, politics, and philosophy to create meaningful solutions, uplift communities, and expand the impact of compassionate, thoughtful service, carrying forward the lessons I learned from Hunter.