My favorite piece in my Portfolio is called "Deny" and it means a lot to me because it represents feelings and emotions that are shared among groups of marginalized people. Being a colored woman, it is hard to have my voice heard and have it be as respected as the voice of white people, because of this, I tend to be afraid to share my thoughts and keep them hidden, as I am used to them being shut out, or undervalued. This is just one aspect of what it feels like to be part of a community where you are the minority. No matter the level of skill or study, it is likely that a white man will have more importance and relevance compared to a colored individual. "Deny" is ultimately an attempt to encapsulate that feeling; Being undervalued, unheard, left in the dark, and occasionally have your efforts and victories seen as mercy, with white individuals using the fact that you're colored to play the part of being a savior that allowed your success to occur. It is hard to accept this reality, but it is something that most marginalized peoples understand to be set in place, something that will likely linger for years to come. Although this piece is something that I relate to it is not just for me, but all the people who have felt themselves in this position of having to duck their head in the face of society's perceived inferiority of them. This piece was made while I was a highschooler and studying AP American History, a class that showed me how long this pattern has been ongoing for and the lasting impacts but also large strives that have been made to improve these conditions. "Deny" isn't intended to be entirely negative, the picture can be interpreted in two completely different ways. It was important to me while making it that it could be adjusted to different contexts. While it does represent adversity, it can also represent hope for the future, hope for change, hope for improvement. I considered it of upmost importance to me for this piece to have this double meaning, depending on what the viewer was feeling. A goal in my art is always to not just remind the viewer of oppression, but to remind that there is hope and that with enough effort we are on an upwards trajectory to a better society where we will hopefully no longer have to worry about the system that has suppressed for so long.

I'm a first generation Mexican-American from New Jersey and because of my parent's demonstration of hard work, I am the ambitious, determined person I am today. Growing up, I saw my mom go to work at McDonald's in the early morning, followed by my dad who would work two blue collar jobs and wouldn't come home until my bed time. I often cried as a young child because I barely got to see my parents due to their long shifts, shifts that were required in order to keep us afloat. Since neither of my parents were legally in the country, they weren't able to acquire higher paying jobs, and typically got underpaid, minimum wage if they were lucky. My family never made it known how little resources we had. I was given most of the things I wanted, even if it was cheap art supplies that my grandmother bought me while we took our weekly trip to the dollar store. During the summer, my mom wasn't able to get me a babysitter, so her manager would allow her to bring me into the employee break room and the employees there gave me whatever I requested, which I found entertaining as a tot. Since I was a child, I told my parents that I would grow up and work hard in order to get them out of their situation. Despite not knowing English when I entered school, I quickly learned the language and became a translator for my parents when needed at that young age. I want to attend college to chase after the dreams that my parents weren't able to. I want to show my family that all the overnights they worked for minimum wage were worth it in the end because it has instilled values in me that will persist for the rest of my life. As a child, my family noticed that I had an innate talent for the arts, particularly the visual arts as I was able to draw and paint at an advanced level that is not typical for children that age. My parents always wanted me to have what they considered a noble occupation. I was often pushed in the direction of medical fields and because of that I found myself experiencing congitive dissonance. In the end I remembered what my grandparents told me, and that was to use my talent and passion to my advantage and to pursue a career I truly love and enjoy because if I am doing something I love, I won't work a single day in my life. In the end, I chose to pursue my passion, I chose to pursue my bachelor's in fine arts. The tuition for arts schools are known to be on the higher end, but I know with the zeal that my parent's raised me with, I will be able to do anything that I put my mind to. My mom went from a fast food worker to owner of her own business! All because of her persistent effort. Due to my academic and artistic merit, I have already been able to knock off a lot of that financial burden of my back as I have already recieved some scholarships on behalf of the school I'm attending. I am majoring in animation and game arts in the hope to be able to break into that field of work. Once I get working in the field, I want to demonstrate my culture through my art so that children like me can see themselves represented in media and know that they are not alone.

All my life, I figured that others had the same issues to stay concentrated and motivated. I put great importance into my studies and always have from a young age. It wasn't until later in my life that I found out that I have ADHD. Some people consider ADHD a simple quirk that makes you a little hyper and silly, but to me it has been something I've struggled with for years. Concentrating and motivating myself to do my work has always been a hard task, but especially as my high school career comes to an end, I find it increasingly trivial to even open my laptop to finish an assignment that easily takes 5 minutes for the average person. Though due to my failing neurotransmitters, a task that should take 5 to 10 minutes, ends up taking me 2 hours. The main thing that motivates me to continue working hard is my class rank, since I am in the top 10. The trouble that comes with this though is that oftentimes I feel depressed or under the weather because I know that I am willingly avoiding my work, and that not pushing myself to do more makes my GPA drop. Having to work so hard for something that is of such great importance to me diminishes my mental health and can upset me for days at a time, where I just come home from work after school and just lay in bed until I fall asleep. The dread that builds inside me watching the deadline get closer and closer is another main motivator. The adrenaline that runs through me when the deadline is less than 24 hours away chips away at my mental health but there are not much other ways that I can get myself to do the necessary work to maintain proper grades. When I see the grade that I get back on an assignment that took me 6 hours in one night, my mind can't help but ruminate on the fact that if I had spent more time on it I could've done better and even boosted my GPA. All my life I have always been a top student, so I can't stand the idea that I might not be one of the best. In my mind, I am either the best or I am nothing. Though my ADHD doesn't just affect me academically, it has also had adverse effects in my personal life. Keeping up with my friends, or even just replying to my boyfriend, is something that flies over my head. I don't want my loved ones to think I am ignoring them, but I just cannot concentrate on the task at hand. When I open my phone to respond to messages, I usually forget or get distracted by something else which makes me go down a rabbit hole until I am snapped back into reality by upsetting messages from people that I love. For the most part, my friends are understanding concerning my condition so I am rather lucky, but I cannot avoid the guilt that comes with not always being readily available for them as much as they are for me. As of late, I have been making strides to prioritize my mental health. I have been more active; I want to make sure I get a bit of fresh air to clear my head. If a task seems to be too much, I just put it aside until I truly feel ready to concentrate on it. Prioritizing my mental health is more important than a grade or number rank.

My favorite piece of art that I have created was a self-portrait that I drew when I was in my sophomore year of high school, "Head in the Clouds". Although I don't consider it to be the most technically impressive out of all my high school works it is my favorite because of what it represents and emotionally symbolizes. This self-portrait features me in a dreamy, cloudy environment with koi fish swimming around me. I chose to draw myself in that way because I was experiencing a very difficult part of my life identity wise. I was experiencing a lot of distress concerning my identity and who I was, in part because of the pandemic. After being in lockdown for almost 2 years I felt like my social growth was stunted and I'm sure I am not alone in that experience. The person that I was before total quarantine and after were two completely different people and I struggled to understand if this was normal or if it was a result of other factors and if I was truer to myself before or after. The way I expressed myself, my interests, and my physical appearance were drastically changed, and I was even told by my peers that they found it hard to recognize me. Even without quarantine, I believe that this is just a normal part of growing up and discovering yourself as you traverse your high school years. Trying new things and experimenting with how you look and what you choose to spend your time doing evolves with you as you grow into who you truly are. I later learned in my AP Psychology class that this is called identity v. role confusion. This art piece holds a lot of meaning and details that I purposefully added in order to express this feeling. For one, the black shirt is completely plain because it is supposed to represent how I felt like an empty slate. I could write something down on that slate today and erase it tomorrow, it was supposed to represent how malleable and unclear I felt concerning my identity and self-expression. The background is grey and cloudy in order to stress a dream-like environment. Through that year I often found myself daydreaming or stuck in my head, I didn't feel like I was truly 100% there as I was preoccupied with my worries. A lot of my memories from that time felt more like dreams than they did real life. As for the glasses, I don't have a prescription for glasses, my vision is perfect. I decided to keep the glasses on for the drawing in order to represent how I felt like I was in disguise instead of being true to myself. My self-expression felt more like a costume than it felt like I was truly me and I decided that keeping the glasses for the drawing would accurately express the feeling of having an unclear identity. Finally, the fish, the most captivating aspect of this drawing. The fish were supposed to add to the dream-like feeling of this stage of my life. Similarly to the clouds, it was an attempt to illustrate how distracted I was because of my doubts and indecisions about who I was and who I wanted to be. They are swirling in a cyclical motion around my head as representations of how repetitive my concerns and intrusive thoughts were, like the fish, they were constantly in motion which caused my intense feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. My feelings of insecurity inspired that art piece I am most secure in today.

Growing up, I was never able to play video games myself because my parents didn't like the idea of me spending hours afterschool playing video games instead of concentrating on my schoolwork. So instead of being able to play video games myself I would watch youtubers like PewDiePie, Markiplier, among other youtubers of the mid 2010s. Being unable to play the games myself, I'd watch every single video and educate myself by doing my own research on the games. I quickly fell in love with the video game community and made various friends that shared my interests. Whether it was mobile games, indie role-playing games, or platformers, I spent much of my time watching content creators' playthroughs. That was until I got my own laptop, in which I could purchase and finally download and play a lot of the games I watched others enjoy for years! As an artist, I always found beauty in the production process of games. I looked up to many artists that worked on games that I adored. The hard work, dedication, and trials and tribulations of even designing one character or one environment was astounding to me. As a result, I've bought a lot of artbooks on the subject. The artistic labor that is put into designing the visuals of a game was inspiring to me. Many of these games took years to produce simply because of all the work that needs to be put into the visual elements and how those elements interact with code. Ensuring that there is little to no errors between that crossover is a long and arduous journey that I found to be of high interest to me. Through my high school career, I was oftentimes confused on what I wanted to study in university. I didn't like the instability of many of the available careers that there are in art, and the majority of the more stable ones weren't of interest to me. I wanted to work in a field of art where my art would be seen and appreciated. Through my love of videogames, I ultimately decided that I wanted to be a videogame artist and study animation and game art. Unlike a lot of popular media, I believe that videogames are one of the more diverse ones in terms of the type of representation that is seen. An important aspect of my own art is focusing on underrepresented groups, and to see that video game companies are putting an importance of making sure that their games have representation for their players and fans to see themselves in assures me that I'm going into a good field. Videogames, aside from their representation, have other benefits. Many of the games that I adore tell a story that teaches something to their audience, videogames don't simply have to be cotton candy for the brain, they can be much more than that and communicate important messages to their large audiences, just as other forms of entertainment do, and videogames deserve just as much recognition for it. Before going to bed I enjoy destressing by playing a videogame and it reminds me how lucky I am to be able to study to go into a field concerning something that I enjoy so much.

Although many will say that it's basic, my favorite K-Pop group is BTS. When I first heard about them, I was approximately 10 years old, I thought it was absurd how teenage girls were swooning over some pretty boys when they couldn't even speak the language that they were singing in. Though in just over a year I understood why they were receiving so much attention from not only fans but from the media, although I don't speak Korean, most of their songs speak stronger to me than the majority of English songs that I've listened to in recent years. The first song I truly listened to by BTS was "DNA" and since then I've been in love with their art. Their music has helped me through many stages of my life. Heartbreaks, sleepless nights of studying for exams, inspiration for my own artwork, and simply just for entertainment, BTS's songs are an outlet for me. Their songs help me be at ease and aid me in concentrating when times are especially difficult. When quarantine first began in 2020, BTS quickly rose to be my top artist on Spotify as I struggled with the hardships of being confined to my home without being able to see my friends and extended family. I found comfort not only in the music that BTS put out, but their individual personalities as well as I found them to be inspirational and motivating, with many of them starting from nothing, it is impressive to see the influence that they have now! It is easy to say that BTS is musically talented, it is clear as day that their talent is exceptional and that they deserve the praise that they receive for their singing and dancing skills, but this group is more than just their talent. BTS truly cares for their fans, and it's shown through their performances. Although they are arguably the biggest K-Pop group in the world, they still tear up and show intense gratitude at the applause of a stadium. Many Western artists don't show that same sentiment and become desensitized to the attention of large crowds, though BTS demonstrates that they still care and feel the adoration from their millions of fans across the world. The affection that they have for their devoted ARMY and each other is something that is rarely seen in Western media. It is not difficult for a variety of K-Pop groups and artists to impact individuals, but it's a much larger feat to impact global culture, especially as BTS has done. Through their popularity, BTS has generated interest in Korean culture, especially their fashion, cuisine, and media. Being interested in Korean media has allowed me to venture into other aspects of the culture, especially as a fashion lover, I frequently grab outfit inspiration from Korean street fashion. This is the case for a lot of other individuals around the world as well. In addition to that, the popularity of BTS has paved the way for K-Pop to be more widely accepted by the Western world. Before BTS blew up, it was uncommon to see someone casually listening to K-Pop, or to hear it in public. The only Korean song that I heard growing up was Gangnam Style but now with BTS at the top of music charts, it is normal to hear K-Pop playing in Dollar General simply because it's normalized now to enjoy Korean entertainment. The change and impact that BTS has had over global culture is as clear as day and I am proud to call myself an ARMY.

My hope with my art has always been to make others feel seen and heard. Most of my art has concentrated on underrepresented and/or marginalized groups. As a queer person of color, I find joy in knowing that others can see themselves in my work, oftentimes it can be isolating to see so many people around you, yet the majority looking or identifying so differently from what you see in the mirror every day. Growing up, I never truly felt like I fit in because of my identity, not only because of my ethnic identity of being a Hispanic Native-American, but because of my sexual orientation and gender identity as well. Not seeing that representation growing up made me feel strange compared to my other peers. There were many times that I desired to look like the other kids, to erase myself of my identity in order to fit into the norm. Especially growing up in a mostly white dominated town, it was difficult to not feel rejected and to avoid prejudice. Now, I personally find peace in providing art and media that allows other people to see that not only is their background and identity valid but that their issues are acknowledged and that they are not alone in their experiences. When I think about my future relationship with my artwork, I envision myself creating more intricate works about this experience. My plan is to pursue a degree in game art/animation and through this I hope to contribute more diversity to popular media through my art. I believe that children and young people consume a lot of media, animation and/or videogames and that it's important to ensure that they grow up seeing their culture, identity, ethnicity, etc. represented through these artforms. As a child I enjoyed watching various cartoons, animated films, and playing a wide array of videos games but growing up, it was rare to see a character that I felt was similar to me. My hope is to break into this industry to design and bring life to characters that I feel aren't being demonstrated enough in the media. I hope to make the children that feel like they don't belong feel less alone through demonstrations in the content that they consume. Aside from this more commercial art, I hope to continue making traditional art and to further improve and hone my skills in various mediums. I think it's just as important to maintain my relationship with traditional art as it is to reach my career goal of working on big studio video games and series. Ultimately, whether it is digital or traditional, I hope to continue producing artwork that demonstrates the underrepresented experience of marginalized groups to make the individuals belonging to those groups feel less alone, heard, and even feel a sense of pride and comfort in their identity.

When I was younger, I hated speaking my first language. The children in my preschool classroom made me feel lesser than them because my English skills were not on par with theirs and I often hung out with kids like me, kids who also spoke Spanish. Although in my early educational career I loathed my biliteracy, I have learned to love it over time as it is part of me and my identity. The once children and now young adults in my classroom now covet my language skills as my Spanish fluency has helped me become fluent in Italian, which I have passed the Stamp test in along with Spanish, and also Portuguese which I am attempting to get certified in as soon as possible! Spanish was the steppingstone for me becoming a polyglot and I wouldn't trade those skills for anything, as a benefit from this is being able to fully enjoy and immerse myself in diverse cultures that would be harder to participate in if I wasn't familiar with their tongue. Knowing multiple languages stand out in various applications whether it be for jobs or universities; being a multilingual individual is not common and it portrays the individual to be well-rounded as not many have the discipline to hone the skills it takes to know more than one language. After I graduate from high school I plan to pursue art in university. Many of my art pieces concentrate on identity and self-expression which I think goes in line with my multilingual identity. I think it's important to appreciate oneself and not be ashamed for not being like the others. Through my art I try to convey that trying to fit society's pressure to fit this mold of what the "correct" American individual is, is the worst thing that you could do to yourself. My art reminds me of when I was a kid and wanted to erase the Spanish language from my brain, managing two languages made it so that it was harder for me to have English adhere in my brain. I wanted to be like the other children, and my mother tongue made me feel like I was odd, and didn't belong, as the phrases emitted from my young peer's mouths made me feel isolated. Although it was a challenge for me to initially learn English, I think that Spanish eventually helped me evolve my English; My knowledge on Greek and Latin roots was advanced as a result from Spanish's romance background and now I find myself in advanced English classrooms such as honors programs and Advanced Placement. Not being a cookie cutter American English speaker made me the proficient multilingual and student I am today and although there was obstacles and barriers, the perilous journey was worth it in the end.

Ever since I was young, the biggest influence on my life had been my grandmother. I have always been fond of the arts from a young age and was able to hold various art tools from the age of three, my parents were easily enthused by this but once I started going to school and they noticed that I was good at STEM subjects, they started to push me more in that direction. The only person who still truly encouraged my interest in art was my grandmother. We would go to craft stores together and she would pay for my sketchbooks, notebooks, crayons, and other assorted items. Even though my grandmother's English wasn't good, she still went out of her way to do this for me. Since then, I have constantly grown and perfected my skills with my grandmother in mind, I want her to be proud of where I am now and I want her to know how much her support has helped me to pursue a career I am truly passionate about. As much as I want to make my parents proud by pursuing a career in science, I know that that's not the path for me. I want to use my artwork to change the world, even if it's one person at a time. When I graduate, I plan to use my artistic skills to help underrepresented people, I want to be able to evoke feelings from my work. I want others to know what it's like to be a minority and what these feelings are like visually when it is so difficult to express what it's like through words. When I submitted my AP art portfolio this year, my theme was on marginalized and underrepresented people, and I want to continue doing that throughout my career, especially since I am a BIPOC. I want to go into the animation industry and do fine arts, I want to continue doing the art I do but in different mediums. Something that makes my artistic gift or skill different is what I use my skill for, I am inspired by how people express themselves, along with emotions and complicated feelings that are hard to express through words; I show these moments through my art and techniques as well as I can and I wish to continue creating similar pieces. I even want to expand my reach to not just people of color, but people who struggle with their identity and those who identify uniquely concerning gender and sexuality.