Professionally, I use my bachelor's degree to take up space as a bisexual, first-generation college graduate woman in cybersecurity - I create and publish educational content for a global SaaS company. Personally, I'm a survivor. I'm persistent. I'm ambitious. I'm dedicated. For me, taking up space is an act of empowerment both internally and externally. Externally, I take up space by representing the voice of queer, first-generation women in tech in rooms where that voice is rarely represented. I work for a global company that values LGBTQ+ culture and am involved in an employee resource group for LGBTQ+ individuals. The group focuses on workplace advocacy for people in the community and provides space for allies to communicate with community members. Internally, I take up space by validating and empowering myself to use the voice I hold despite what I have had to overcome. In 2020 I left an abusive relationship. One month later my coworker violently assaulted me. This was my rock bottom - I had no one to turn to and nowhere to go. My career was my survival. It kept me going. Then, I lost my job due to the pandemic. Although I had nothing left, I persevered because I wanted to be in a position where I could prioritize my mental health. I enrolled in a nonprofit therapy program for survivors of sexual assault where I was able to work through my trauma and gained the confidence to completely transform my life again. I sold all of my belongings, packed my clothes and my dog into my car and moved to Georgia, where I currently reside. I became sober. I started regularly attending the gym. I landed my dream job. I got my own apartment for the first time. I came out as queer to my friends and certain family members - this opened so many doors for me to hold space in rooms that I knew I was mentioned in but never held the power to stand in. I created a completely new life for myself. Today, I am 2.5 years into criminal trials against my rapist. Although my past still remains a part of my daily life and adds an underlying tone of unpredictability to my mental health, my perseverance remains strong. My voice remains strong. My love for advocacy remains strong. I hope that by pursuing my professional goals I will be in a position to fund a nonprofit that focuses on advocacy and community building to guide survivors through the criminal justice system. Additionally, when my court case comes to a close I plan to continue therapy and involve myself in groups where I can act as counsel for LGBTQ+ persons that have experienced an assault during times of major life transitions. Until then, I'm doing whatever it takes to make my dreams happen (again), and that starts here with this scholarship. Thank you.

The most important life lessons I've learned is that material objects mean nothing, and a growth mindset means everything. In 2020 I left an abusive relationship. One month later my coworker drugged me and violently assaulted me when we went out for drinks with friends. Three months after that I lost my job due to the pandemic. This was my rock bottom - I had no one to turn to and nowhere to go. When I left my ex-boyfriend I lost all of my friends. My family lived in Oregon, and I was going no contact with them as a form of forced respect for my boundaries. Then, when my coworker sexually assaulted me I lost my belongings; I was assaulted in my home and all of my belongings were taken as evidence in the criminal case that resulted from the attack. My career was my survival. It kept me going. Then, I lost my job due to the pandemic. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, I reached out to The Blue Bench, a nonprofit therapy program for victims of sexual assault. I had no funds for my care, but I knew I needed something, and they took me in. They changed my life. My involvement in that program caused me to finally be in a position where I could prioritize my mental health. I was diagnosed with anxiety, clinical recurrent depression, and PTSD. I was able to work through it all and gained the confidence to completely transform my life again. I sold all of my few reamining belongings, packed my clothes and my dog into my car and hit the road. We lived in my car for a couple of weeks while we moved to Georgia, where I currently reside. Losing everything that I had, my sense of purpose, and my family was the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of it I sought help for my mental health. I became sober. I started regularly attending the gym. I landed my dream job. I got my own apartment for the first time since I left home and started couch surfing at 17 years old. I created a completely new life for myself. As it stands today, I am two and a half years into criminal trials against my rapist. Although my past still remains a part of my daily life and adds an underlying tone of unpredictability to my mental health, I am so much better off. The Blue Bench saved me. Dr. Lepera saved me. I've taken to blogging and advocating for mental health in my free time outside of the office. I participate in conversations within my community about mental health and work to provide resources to those who need them. Ideally, when my court case comes to a close I would like to work with an advocacy center for sexual assault victims as well as write a book about my experience in the criminal justice system as a survivor. I hope that by pursuing my professional goals of law school and cybersecurity that I will be in a position to fund a nonprofit that focuses on advocacy and community building for persons that experience assault and are in the court system as a result. Until then, I'm doing whatever it takes to make my dreams happen (again), and that starts here with this scholarship. Thank you.

Recovery means actioning your authentic self. In 2020 I left an abusive relationship. One month later my coworker drugged me and violently assaulted me when we went out for drinks with friends. This was my rock bottom - I had no one to turn to and nowhere to go, so I turned to alcohol. I was able to somewhat keep my drinking in check because I didn't want it to affect my career - my career was my survival. It kept me going. Then, I lost my job due to the pandemic. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, I dove deeper into my abuse of alcohol. I knew I needed help so I reached out to The Blue Bench, a nonprofit therapy program for victims of sexual assault. I had no funds for my care, but I knew I needed something, and they took me in. They changed my life. As it stands today, I am 2.5 into criminal trials against my rapist and no longer in an abusive relationship with alcohol. For me, my recovery meant I could live authentically again. Now I am able to pursue my professional goals of law school and cybersecurity in the hopes that one day I will be in a position to fund a nonprofit that focuses on advocacy and community building for persons that experience assault and are in the court system as a result.

Generosity means showing up for your community authentically and consciously. Recently I've struggled with feeling like support from my friends and family has been inherently egoic - they show up for me in a way that they would want someone to show up for themselves; not with a conscious effort to learn my individual wants and needs when it comes to healing. The human experience is based on projection, meaning that the way we perceive and interact with the external world is a direct reflection of what's going on in our internal world. Given that, if we don't feel our best internally we can bring an egoic version of ourselves to the external world and harm the people we interact with in the process. To me, generosity means doing the work to become your most authentic self so you can recognize your patterns, break them, reform them, and project your lived experience authentically to the community around you. By doing this we'll be able to show up more authentically for our friends in a way that's good for them - not a way that fuels your egoic needs.

In 2020 I left an abusive relationship. One month later my coworker drugged me and violently assaulted me when we went out for drinks with friends. Three months after that I lost my job due to the pandemic. This was my rock bottom - I had no one to turn to and nowhere to go. When I left my ex-boyfriend I lost all of my friends. My family lived in Oregon, and I was going no contact with them as a form of forced respect for my boundaries. Then, when my coworker sexually assaulted me I lost my belongings; I was assaulted in my home and all of my belongings were taken as evidence in the criminal case that resulted from the attack. My career was my survival. It kept me going. Then, I lost my job due to the pandemic. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, I reached out to The Blue Bench, a nonprofit therapy program for victims of sexual assault. I had no funds for my care, but I knew I needed something, and they took me in. They changed my life. My involvement in that program caused me to finally be in a position where I could prioritize my mental health. I was diagnosed with anxiety, clinical recurrent depression, and PTSD. I was able to work through it all and gained the confidence to completely transform my life again. I sold all of my belongings, packed my clothes and my dog into my car and hit the road. We lived in my car for a couple of weeks while we moved to Georgia, where I currently reside. On the drive, I indulged in a book by Dr. Nicole Lepera, titled "How to Do the Work". I journaled daily as I read the book and poured myself into fixing my mental health. I became sober. I started regularly attending the gym. I landed my dream job. I got my own apartment for the first time since I left home and started couch surfing at 17 years old. I created a completely new life for myself. As it stands today, I am two and a half years into criminal trials against my rapist. My abusive ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend are key witnesses in the case. This is cause for huge triggers in my journey to heal from depression and PTSD. Although my past still remains a part of my daily life and adds an underlying tone of unpredicatablity to my mental health, I am so much better off. The Blue Bench saved me. Dr. Lepera saved me. I've taken to blogging and advocating for mental health in my free time outside of the office. I participate in conversations within my community about mental health and work to provide resources to those who need them. Ideally, when my court case comes to a close I would like to work with an advocacy center for sexual assault victims as well as write a book about my experience in the criminal justice system as a survivor. I hope that by pursuing my professional goals of law school and cybersecurity that I will be in a position to fund a nonprofit that focuses on advocacy and community building for persons that experience assault and are in the court system as a result. Ideally I'd like the book to work intandem with the work of Dr. Lepera and hope to start a program that focuses on intertwining the lived experience of survivors with mental health advocacy to ease the process of taking abusers to court. Until then, I'm doing whatever it takes to make my dreams happen (again), and that starts here with this scholarship. Thank you.