In April 2021, I started writing my pain on my body. Perfectly straight lines, strategically positioned because they had to be even. I thought the physical pain would ease the pain going on internally inside my head. I got to choose how many times, how deep, and where I wanted them. It gave me a sense of control when my life felt like it was slipping through my fingertips. It was the only way I knew how to cope.
Everyone deals with emotional pain in their unique way. For me, it was taking the razor blade and slicing my thighs until I could see the cut and blood. Each cut was worse than the one before. I thought, “It has to be deeper than the other one”. I was silently fighting this battle alone. For a while, it was the only way I thought I could cope with my overwhelming emotions of feeling invisible, angry, ashamed, and, worst of all, alone. Each time, I hit the restart button on my “I Am Sober' app on my phone, sitting there numb, unsure of what else I could do.
I started wearing pants to dance and cheer practice so no one could see what I was doing to my own body. I didn’t want to appear weak. Putting a smile on my face at each practice and every day at school, to go home and find the comfort of the razor blade. No, it wasn’t every night, but a few times every month. Hiding it from my mom was the worst. I wanted to tell her how badly I needed help, but I couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing her. She didn’t deserve that.
That was until February 9th, 2022. It was 11 at night. It was the worst I'd ever cut. Blood pouring down my legs, sitting there on my bed, shaking but frozen. I zoned out, tears streaming down my face, holding onto my blankie when my mom came in to say goodnight.
I never want to see that look on her face again. The fear, the panic, the immediate tears. I thought, “ What have I done?” She wasn’t supposed to know that's how I cope. She ran over and hugged me, and was at a loss for knowing what to do. She didn’t know whether to take me to the hospital; she just wanted to help me get better. From that moment, I knew that I could never do it again.
It wasn’t easy. For the first time in almost a year, according to my app, I hadn’t relapsed. Three hundred and twenty-five days. I was so close. It was New Year's. I was alone in my room. Many things happened to me during that week. An overpowering feeling of deep emotion took over. I couldn't breathe, silent tears streaming out of my eyes, going back and forth, wondering if I would do it or not. I chose instead to turn to my academics.
Still raised perfectly, the scars on my upper thighs serve as a reminder of the body's healing process. While each scar was healing, I was also healing. I started recognizing myself again. I started being able to resist the urge to act on the feeling that I needed to do it. The thought still crosses my mind in moments, but I’ve learned healthy coping mechanisms. They are not scars that will ever go away or that can be easily covered. They will remain forever, a reminder to myself and to all who notice that I have a story worth telling. Something I shouldn’t be ashamed of.
My battles with my mental health in my middle school and early high school years are one of the reasons I am so invested in becoming a nurse. A skilled nurse, especially one working with pediatrics or teens, must know what isn’t being said. Sometimes, what isn’t said reveals the most. There has to be a connection formed where the patient feels enough trust to let someone in and share their secrets. It took me a while to find that trust, but once I did, I was able to work on my mental health more positively. I want to be the nurse who sparks change in destigmatizing mental health and helps young adults find the support and strength they need.
While I may have experienced emotional and traumatic experiences, they don’t define who I am. Instead, they are a part of my beautiful, broken story of becoming who I’m meant to be. If my story can help at least one person, I will share it openly.