In the United States there is an average of 132 suicides per day. This epidemic has
become “normal,” and has taken the lives of our sisters, brothers, mothers, uncles and friends as we as an American society see this number grow each year. Over the past two years I have personally been affected by this ongoing devastation. No one truly knows how someone is feeling during their individual struggle. Therefore, we can spread awareness once they have passed, in hopes that we can pave a resourceful path for others in the future.
In May of 2022 my mother’s college roommate, Sarah lost her son to suicide. Hayden Thorsen was 16 years old and had an incredible life and future playing hockey at one of the best high schools in Massachusetts. He wore #40 and was a gifted goalie. Hayden was a friend to all who knew him, never hesitating to put an arm around someone’s shoulder. Unfortunately, Hayden just became another number that we look at on the news and say “that is so awful, he was so young.” Instead of letting Hayden's legacy just be another statistic, the Thorsen family created a mental health initiative to show the world that we can be there for one another with a simple act of kindness. Sarah had previously worked with an advertising company and knew exactly how to prevent this initiative from falling into one that people overlook. Sarah and her husband, Rob, call it “Shoulder Check.”
Shoulder Check is a movement encouraging young people to commit to supporting one another through small acts that have a big impact. To show that ‘being there’ is as simple as a hand on a shoulder. A “Shoulder Check” is reaching out, checking in, and making contact on and off the field of play. Sarah and Rob brought Shoulder Check to colleges, high school teams, and even the National Hockey League. Even though I never had the privilege to meet Hayden, I
decided to bring Shoulder Check to my high school boys varsity hockey team in Canton Massachusetts.
Through rigorous coordinated planning between athletic director’s, coaches, and players we made sure that everyone knew what Shoulder Check is and how we were going to execute it. On February 14, 2024 the Canton Bulldogs and Bishop Feehan Shamrocks gathered at our home rink to bring the Shoulder Check vision to life. Both teams wore blue tape on their sticks and a sticker on their helmets. Before the start of the game each team participated in the Shoulder Check pledge while I shared this message: “Here at Canton High School, we are asking for everyone in the stands and on the ice to put their left hand on the shoulder of the person next to them to show and promote support for one another through whatever struggle someone may be facing, no matter how they may seem on the surface.”
Watching the players on the ice and their families putting their hands on someone's shoulder brought tears to my eyes as I realized we are all one community who show up and support one another. Strangers putting their hand on other strangers shoulders, creating an invisible continuous line that we would all be connected from just one simple act of kindness. Now I always remember to Reach Out, Check In, and Make Contact.