July 2019 to October 2019 contained some of the most darkest days of my life, to include feelings of anger, fear, rejection, abandonment that resulted in my admission of isolation, self-harm, personal feelings of failure, helplessness and major depression. Others around me couldn't understand why I fell so deep in a hole and couldn't pull myself out as they saw me as the most outgoing, charismatic, optimistic, fun-loving person they've ever been around. That all changed for me in the blink of an eye after a split decision I made to ride in an ATV that nearly took my life. That summer night I was ejected from an ATV, airlifted to a nearby hospital and spent 30 days in excruciating pain. Before this night I had everything going for me, 2 months pre-graduation to obtain my Bachelor's degree, 1 week away from volunteering at a week-long mountain-based camp designed especially for disabled persons, to include children and wounded vets. Months away from spending a week on a cruise to celebrate my honeymoon to my husband and all of that swept away. The greatest disappointment was feeling how my body had failed me or was failing me, to not have the ability to even take care of my own physical needs and constantly needing assistance to groom myself. It was mortifying, dehumanizing and left me feeling completely exposed, shattered and grieving in major depression. I was too prideful to allow antidepressant medication to accompany the many forms of drugs that were supporting my physical needs. As if it was too much for me to take care of my psychological and emotional state when my physical body was healing. Lastly, the neck support collar that absorbed any ounce of freedom my body had was instructed to be worn for over 3 months straight, 24 hours a day and switched out for showers. The accumulation of these symptoms warped my once positive optimistic soul and now moved in a sense of failure, helplessness, anger which in turn led to self-harming habits. It was then I knew I had to seek help, that it was ok for me to ask and beg and plead for help, where I knew that I would not make it alone if I did not do so. Never understanding before how emotional and physical pain could be so disastrous, I was experiencing it from the front lines. I now had to practice what I preached to so many kids, veterans, moms and the like that I would empower, mentor and encourage during my volunteer days within equine therapy. I felt ashamed at first that I couldn't live up to the very words that I spoke so easily to those that followed me. It was that moment that I decided to let that anger shift from internally blaming myself to becoming that empowering voice again. I started blogging and reaching out to peers, friends and family, got online and finished the degree, volunteered my time again from the comfort of my couch with the neck brace still on my neck. Interviewed for an internship, again, with the neck brace still on my neck and it was then that I started to regain my spirit, my fight to live and my desire to not let these physical and emotional pains consume my soul. Now when I share my story with others it comes from such a deep place where it is recognized by those that are currently feeling its pains. My empowerment for others has a different voice now as it advocates for true empathy and allows others to genuinely see how autonomy after pain can be attained. Fast forward to today, I've gathered all I have learned about myself, my experience, those that touched my life during my healing to advocate for mental health. I have also combined this passion for advocating for mental health with my passion for horses and have since completed two certifications that allow me to practice teaching others about horse/human connections as a resource in healing physical, emotional and mental health. When I have a participant within my program that has experienced trauma/PTSD, depression, anxiety or any physical injury I am able to empathize with them on a very different level than before my accident. I am able to work with teenagers who aren't able to express yet their emotions and feelings and connect them with a horse to provide an experiential way of doing so. It is my continued desire and passion to advocate for those that are so deeply engulfed in depression, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness by providing a rich and authentic experience to find even a silver of change; meaning and love. Thank you! -Bri

My Dakota girl is my accountability partner as she sits on the couch every morning tail wagging and ears up when I wake up. She is depending on me to spend every morning cuddling and enjoying each other's company. She keeps me accountable for the times that I might lose my patience and she can sense it and will run outside and put her little head through the doggie door to see if I've cooled down, which then reminds me to do just that - cool down. She is the unconditional love I feel when I was healing from my rollover ATV accident and in excruciating pain, curling up next to me and not letting me out of her site. She never required me to pet her when I was healing, never required me to do anything than just breathe as she was breathing and forever nonverbally expressing her love for me. That recovery brought the darkest days of my life when everyone in the house would either leave for school or work and it was just Dakota and I watching countless hours of tv and silently sobbing the depression away. Her unconditional nonverbal love brought a little lighter to those dark days when she would use her nose to nuzzle up my broken arm so I could gently place it on her head. Sometimes when I felt that I had no one else I had my dog, when everyone had other responsibilities and weren't physically home, Dakota was. She has reminded me of the meaning of friendship and loyalty and forgiveness. When I don't want to play or pet her or maybe don't have time to do our morning cuddle routine, she forgives me and waits patiently until I do. She reminds me that it's ok to not be ok, to heal and ask for help and to not always have the answers or the right tone of voice when doing so. She is the truest love of my life in fur baby category, and I honestly would've taken such a longer time to heal from my accident if it hadn't been for her. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to relive those beautiful moments Dakota has taught me! -Bri

What an exciting scholarship to apply for!! My story is a full-circle story and one I'm excited to share with you. My name is Bri, and I am currently completing my master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling in order for me to obtain a license and become and Equine Therapist. However, let me share with you how it all started! In 2012 I was going through a very rough divorce and found myself to be a single mom of 2 small children. I was scared, depressed and worried that without a college degree I would not be able to provide for my children. I also wanted to get back into the community by volunteering and relieving some of the stress I was under. So, I googled, "how to volunteer with horses and the community," and came up with a wonderful non-profit organization Horses Help! I fell in love with their various therapeutic riding and groundwork programs that allowed a multitude of populations heal from physical, mental and emotional diagnosis'. After completing over 200 volunteer hours, I finally knew what I wanted to be when I grew up! While continuing my volunteering in the community with Horses Help, I further added to my skillsets of marketing and program development as well as becoming a community spokesperson for Horses Help. I went back to school and fast forward to today, I have completed over 500 volunteer hours with Horses Help, to include a practicum requirement. While volunteering I was exposed to many roles in which a nonprofit is required to maintain its 501c status. From billing/budgeting, event coordination, grant requirements, leadership in the community, workshop/promotional event advocation and also, it's limitations and considerations proposed by the board of directors. The amount of exposure that I have had the pleasure to be involved in has shed light on specific set of skills and passions that I have continued to pursue. Some of these passions include program design for our mental health equine assisted psychotherapy lessons, mentoring of current and new equine specialists, internship program development and the clinical structure of intake/assessment and implementation of goals within our programs. Volunteering with Horses Help has not only gained me a resource of knowledge and skillsets it has broadened and exposed the possibilities in partnering with horses when assisting populations looking to heal. Watching participants reach their program goals within each lesson has provided so much joy and continued to enhance my passion to create more and more lessons. Volunteering has also taught me about working with a diverse population of people from different ages, ethnicities, cultures and genders. It has taught me the importance of inclusion, the importance to dream and to advocate for others who feel that they their dreams are destroyed. The foundation that one little google search has created for me, will continue to be the driving force to provide the same opportunity for future volunteer peers. It is my passion to share what my full-circle story has done for me and how it can help connect those passionate about horses and mental health as well.

Being awarded this $1,000 scholarship would allow me to lessen the financial burden that my master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling has impacted me. I would apply that money to the tuition expenses I am required to pay of $4200 every 10 weeks. By applying this money towards the early repayment of my student loan it would reduce my daily interest accruement and allow me some breathing room. Other ideas I have for this money is to apply it to my household bills and take some time off from my part time job that does not offer me PTO or sick time and spend time with on a special project I am working on to research the benefits of equine therapy. I am currently working with an equine therapist to research the therapeutic outcomes of program development and treatments implemented for youth and adults suffering from mental illnesses. The scholarship money would help support some time off in order for me to further that research! Thank you! Bri

I suffered major depression and PTSD after being involved in a roll over ATV accident that almost took my life. I was completing my bachelor’s degree at the time and was very devastated in taking a 3 month break due to the pain I was dealing with. Because my course of study was psychology I was inspired to learn through my healing and reflect on ability to now empathize with my future clients. I now know what it is like to suffer with severe depression, anxiety and PTSD which has allowed me to understand and recognize triggers, work on different variations of communication needed with these population and has allowed me to have a deeper passion altogether. I am currently pursuing my master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling in order to advocate for health and wellness through cognitive and somatic processing by means of equine experiential therapy. The influence of volunteering at Horses Help has turned into a full-time career, and after I receive my license to practice as a therapist it is my goal to become and Equine Therapist offering experiential therapy to adolescents and adults suffering from depression, anxiety, and PTSD. When I accepted this position, I cried tears of joy because it was a 10-year plan in the making and made me realize that everything (even my traumatic event) happens for a reason. I am a stronger and more passionate person with a wider skillset that is ready to let her enthusiasm and determination make a difference in the lives of many suffering from anxiety, PTSD and depression.

“Childhood trauma does not come in one single package,” by Asa Don Brown. Probably one of the strongest quotes I have read while completing my master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. The adolescent population has a strong pull on my heart strings and is the primary focus of my career aspirations in providing therapeutic interventions to assist in their healing. I have had the amazing privilege of working under the wings of an Equine Therapist whose treatment theory is to provide experiential therapy sessions to children that have suffered from grave PTSD, anxiety and depression. Watching her design these programs and interventions that are not only age appropriate but support the disorder criteria and symptomologies these children have faced has inspired me to create my career aspirations to align with hers. Not only do I have this rare opportunity I am also on staff at Horses Help which is a nonprofit organization that provides equine assisted learning and psychotherapy models that serve all ages and populations of people in our community. My responsibility at Horses Help as the mental health coordinator, is to be a resource for the many residential treatment facilities, foster care homes and veteran's programs. By networking and providing continued education workshops for caregivers and industry providers it is my mission to advocate for the many resources individuals and families have to protect themselves from abuse, heal from trauma, cope with loss and build life skills. Weekly it is my design to reach out to these contacts and assess their need for resources and provide my contact information for their clients and then to act as a resource to answer questions about the many programs Horses Help provides. When I become an Equine Therapist, I will continue my advocation efforts by providing onsite educational opportunities, wellness and healing classes, as well as provide structured mobile equine therapy. The experienced that I have gained working with sex-trafficked youth, youth that have been abused and youth experiencing severe levels of PTSD, trauma, anxiety and depression, allows me to design an equine therapy program designed primarily for these populations. The other component that broadens my abilities to understand the impact of trauma on children's lives is the studies I completed in my bachelor's program through Child & Adolescent Psychology with a focus of Trauma Informed Care. Applying this knowledge to my career aspirations will enhance the ways I can become creative in not only advocating for children that have suffered abuse, but it will also help me design programs to assist them and their families to heal from that abuse and vicarious trauma. As a whole I believe that once you have a passion for children and mental health and then incorporate that passion by partnering with horses the possibilities are endless. My desire to work with this population by partnering with horses also supports the child's developmental and cognitive ability to participate in their healing as it allows the child to form a bond with something other than a human to explore ways in which to process their trauma.

Over the course of my life, I have experienced a great deal of loss from the tragic death of my sister, uncle and each one of my grandparents. All affected me differently but the one that affected me the most were the ones in which I was not able to say goodbye, or one’s that I felt had so much more life to live and were cut short of their opportunity to do so. My sister died when I was 18 years old of a tragic accident in which she suffocated by ingestion. She was only 20 years old and mentally handicapped. Her life was snuffed out because of a horrible accident and because I was so young, I did not know how to process this. I went into a depression and felt I had no one to talk to because it was the late 90’s and mental health was not on the forefront of services provided to teenagers. Over the years I was able to heal on my own from that trauma and lived a well-balanced life. Fast forward to 2019 when I suffered major depression and PTSD after being involved in a roll over ATV accident that almost took my life. I was completing my bachelor’s degree at the time and was very devastated that I had to take a 3 month break due to the pain and major PTSD I was dealing with. Because my course of study was psychology, I was inspired to learn through my healing and reflect on my ability to empathize on another level with the populations I wished to serve. I now know what it is like to suffer with severe depression, anxiety and PTSD through many events throughout my life. These instances have allowed me to understand and recognize triggers, work on different variations of communication needed and have a deeper passion to advocate altogether. After completing my bachelor's degree, I knew I wanted to pursue my master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling because it was my goal now to become and advocate for health and wellness through cognitive and somatic processing. I have also incorporated my love for horses as well as the influence of the many volunteer hours completed at Horses Help to explore career aspirations within the therapy industry. After I receive my therapist license, it is my goal to become and Equine Therapist, offering experiential therapy to adolescents and adults suffering from depression, anxiety, and PTSD. In the meantime, I have worked on completing the many volunteer hours, certifications and degrees to allow me to accept a full-time position with Horses Help, a non-profit therapeutic riding center that is designed to service all populations looking for equine therapy and learning programs. When I accepted this position, I cried tears of joy because it was a 10-year plan in the making, a real full-circle moment in my life that made me realize that everything (even my traumatic event) happens for a reason. I am a stronger and more passionate person with a wider skillset that is ready to let her enthusiasm and determination make a difference in the lives of many suffering from anxiety, PTSD, and depression. My experiences have also strengthened my internal drive towards healing and have inspired my family and my children to never give up on your passions and to always do what is needed to stay healthy!

Three years ago, I laid in a hospital bed after being thrown from an ATV and asked myself how I was going to complete my career goals and finish my degree while I was in so much pain. My nerves were shot! I needed many surgeries to fix the nerve damage sustained from the extreme whiplash I endured, and I had to put my education on hold. I was devastated! Three months into healing and I was spiraling into severe depression. The pain I endured and the neck brace I wore for 3 months were a constant reminder that I had a long road to recovery. It was a daily battle of being bed ridden and house bound for 5 months before I was able to return back to school. I then finished my bachelor's degree and completed all levels of volunteering and certifications in order to accept my position at Horses Help as the Mental Health Coordinator. So many emotions flooded my mind, from excitement to anxiety, but I had to be kind with myself as I was suffering from major PTSD from the events of my accident. My tenacity and persistence kept me from too many days of severe depression and focused me on the importance of obtaining mental health and physical therapy. I'm a firm believer that the balance of mind and body is so correlated to living a healthy life and it's because of that belief that I was able to heal. Now working at Horses Help I am able to empathize with the veteran populations and the adolescent children suffering from severe anxiety and depression. I understand the triggers and what it takes to just listen to their needs. Because of my insight I am able to also share skillsets with my peers who also provide services to these populations. The value that I bring to the team at Horses Help allows my Executive Director to coordinate community events to share my story and align the insight with the many programs our organization provides. To be that light in the community where there is so much uncertainty for healing is not only a passion of mine but part of what I lean on for healing. I am now holding a position on staff that leads the other Equine Specialists on my team through the intensity of working with a population that have various diagnosis. My leadership within this team supports the programs we create and sheds light on the difference between equine therapy and equine learning lessons. It is my responsibility to resource and research program criteria by creating alliances with licensed therapists who can then provide their expertise. I believe it is my passion for the clients I serve and the peers I work with and for that forces me to maintain a healthy balance of my mental, emotional and physical health. The drive that I have pushes me to pursue counseling services, medical treatment and community connection in order to keep my mental health on the forefront of priority.