Art therapy is not something I can say I chose, but instead, something that chose me. All throughout my life, I can recall how art and creativity have been guiding beacons of light during times of immense distress. In my youth, I experienced sexual trauma and persistent bouts of depression, which led to increasing levels of anxiety as an adult. A decline in my mental health created a pattern of self-destruction in my life that often spilled over into the lives of those around me. My artwork was often the only thing that gave me a positive self-concept. Being naturally artistic enabled me to easily cultivate my creativity and improve my talents through painting, dance, and writing. Without realizing it, self-expression guided me back to myself and began to lay the groundwork for what would become my future career. Entering adulthood meant completing my undergraduate degree, moving out of my childhood home, and starting a family. These life changes, though miraculous and wonderful, caused much contention within myself, as there often is when growth is required from an individual. I fell into postpartum depression and struggled to find a career that felt fulfilling. However, I knew that I wanted to serve the community in some way, so I became a teacher. While teaching, I began to witness the positive effects of creativity in children. I watched firsthand as children who struggled to manage difficult emotions picked up a crayon or a paintbrush and were instantly transformed into calm, almost placid, students. This increased my curiosity about how self-expression could improve the lives of entire families, schools, and communities. My decision to enter grad school was a decision based on everything I had learned about myself through my artwork and as a teacher. Self-expression created a door for me that has led me to a career that I can be proud of and one that I am confident will bring me fulfillment. Helping others in a way that my past self would have needed makes me feel as though I am living in the purpose God has put on my life. As I come towards the end of my grad school journey, I have begun to create goals for how I want to provide creative mental health services for others who have experienced depression and anxiety. My goal is to gain experience working with the women in my community who need help raising their families, adjusting to motherhood, and redefining their sense of self. Through creative expression, I hope to help others redefine their self-care habits as a means of both self-improvement and self-preservation. I want to plant the idea that self-expression is a means of becoming curious about life through a lens of grace and compassion instead of judgment. I also hope to start a nonprofit to partner with public schools to educate children about the importance of creativity, self-care, and somatic healing through self-expression. Being an art therapist is so much more than just painting nice pictures- it is a means to bring peace to our inner world by processing, understanding, and releasing the pain trapped inside us all.

Choosing to pursue a degree in mental health is not just an academic choice, but a deeply personal pursuit to better understand my own mind. This decision has been rooted in the lived experiences of growth and my desire to spread the message of artistic healing with my community. For many people, anxiety rules their lives, and depression shapes their view of the world around them. For me personally, this perspective shaped most of my teenage and young adult life. Anxiety and depression constantly showed up as physical tension and a heaviness that created a mental fog that I could not see my way out of. I was left feeling so disconnected from life and from myself that I felt zero joy or motivation. For so long, I coped in ways that were very unhealthy but seemed helpful at the time. I constantly looked for distractions to avoid processing my emotions when I should have been curious about them. After having children, I began learning emotional intelligence, or the ability to recognize, understand, and regulate the emotions of myself and others. I started looking at my emotions with curiosity instead of as factors that were limiting my potential. Instead of "I can not do this because I am anxious," I started asking, "What is this feeling trying to tell me about myself or protect me from?" The shift from self-criticism to self-awareness created space for suppressed emotions to come to light and allow new ones to take their place. Expressive arts therapy gave me a language when words failed me. Through painting, journaling, and other forms of creative exploration, I was able to gain a new perspective of myself and my lived experiences. On so many occasions, putting my emotions down on paper allowed me to externalize my emotions and bring calm to the chaos that surrounded my thoughts. Once they are down on paper, they are no longer overwhelming. In pursuing my master's degree to become an LPC with a concentration in Expressive Arts Therapy, I really began to incorporate the principles and theories of psychology into my everyday life. Instead of focusing on what was "wrong" with me, I began cultivating gratitude, self-care, and awareness, reevaluated my values, and how I want to display them in my life. Pursuing this degree would allow me to transform my personal healing journey into a professional pursuit. It would be my goal to teach others how to identify cognitive distortions and replace them with balanced, rational, and positive thoughts. As an LPC, I will help people to build healthy daily habits like consistent sleep, healthy diets, and mindfulness training. My entire life and all of my emotional experiences have not disqualified me from this career, but prepared me for it.