I've always known I wanted to contribute back to society, but just never knew how. Sitting at a desk bores me nor can I control the tap-tap tapping of my finger. My mind has always craved challenges, wanting to learn as much as I can, particularly in the sciences. I remember sitting in my freshman year biology class, surprisingly not falling asleep to my teacher's long lecture because the material fascinated me. It was the first indicator of wanting to pursue the medical field. Nurses have always existed in my family. My grandfather worked with medicine. My grandma helps deliver babies and my aunt is an emergency room nurse. It was always something I was surrounded by, but never had put much consideration into for much of my youth. I knew that if I were to pursue the medical field, I would want to become a doctor. It seemed amazing- I could help people, save lives even, and continue challenging my mind. The costs had always deemed it unattainable in my mind though. No one in my family has pursued anything beyond nursing, primarily due to financial concerns. Before me, my entire family has immigrated from Yalta (a city that lies upon the Ukraine and Russia border) and establishing themselves in America had already costed a great sum. So for this reason, I never wanted to burden my family more. Anatomy class rekindled my love for the sciences. The dissections especially were my favorite. I would watch around as my classmates grew uneasy or uninterested in the subject, never understanding how they didn't find it as intriguing as I do. I would come home and tell my mom about what we did in class, raving on and on. I found myself quoting biological processes or remembering new names of body parts I never once did at the dinner table. She became the main supporter of pursuing healthcare despite the costs. Medicine is my biggest concern. I fear for reliance or addictions on medications as my great-grandmother once had before overdosing. I know that when I pursue healthcare, I want to approach as much I could with a holistic approach. If I were able to help others, without fostering a reliance on painkillers or other medicines, I would feel good about myself. To be clear, I'm not opposed to modern medicine. I just want to strive for better solutions. I see how my parents complain each morning about needing to take hand-fulls of pills to regulate their bodies. There must be better approaches though? Lastly, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to read my writing. I'm still finding myself in a lot of ways and I know that I have grown up very fortunately, never enduring traumatic experiences as others may have. But I know I want to help others, even if it is just one person. Any scholarship makes a significant impact in my pursuit of education which is essential for anything in the medical industry. I would love to make a positive impact in the healthcare field and amongst still figuring out many of life's mysteries, I am sure that this is one thing that I want to do.

No one deserves to feel an outcast, that there is something "wrong" with them because their brain may function differently than others. While in recent years there has been an increase in the importance placed on emotional and physical well being, not everyone has that support system or accessibility to reach out to a professional. I wish to pursue a career path in psychiatry so I can become that supporting figure to anyone who seeks help, to help them understand their thought process, but to also prevent more from falling victim to substance abuse by prescribed medications. There needs to be a greater emphasize in society that it is ok to seek help. Going to a psychiatrist shouldn't automatically mean that there is something "broken" or that the patient is just "dramatic", a common misconception to those foreign to the neurosciences and behavioral studies. Pursuing psychiatry is a very daunting task though. On average, this career path requires 12 years of schooling which discourages many students interested. But I know I'm up for the task, despite how expensive schooling may be. New Jersey fortunately has a variety of colleges within the vicinity who have excellent psychology and psychiatry programs. Desirably, I wish to pursue a bachelor's in psychology at either Rutger's University- New Brunswick or Wagner College in Staten Island before applying to medical school. For the longest time, I was conflicted over which career path to choose, torn between psychology or engineering. When I become part of my high school's Intergenerational Program, an opportunity provided to students in AP Psychology, is when it become clear to me I wanted to choose the first option. The Intergenerational Program focuses on closing the gaps between younger and older generations. So as a way to combat this drift, high school students would be partnered with a senior citizen at the local retirement home for 3 months. I was partnered with an elderly woman, Suzanne, kind and caring, but a declining mental state as result of Alzheimer's disease. Seeing the after affects was so disheartening, but it intrigued me in the aspect of wanting to be there for her as support. It's cruel that the mind can degenerate in such a way, forgetting so much of one's life, but this made me think of the many other challenges of the brain. This urge to help Suzanne and others made me know what I want to do in life. Through my education, I want to help people.

Many often have the misconception that an overdose can only be caused by a "hardcore" drug, but sometimes even the over-the-counter medications are killers. I remember when I was 10, sitting at a restaurant with my mom when she received the devastating call from her mom that my great grandmother, Nadiya, had overdosed on her prescription. No one knew how often she was taking pills, in fact, it was very hard to even communicate with her the dangers of taking too many at once. My family are immigrants from Russia and while most learned to adjust to America, Nadiya's stubborn nature combined with her developing dementia created the impossible task of her learning about American healthcare when they once came from a very poor area in Europe. Soon after, my grandfather, Mark, developed a similar love for cigarettes to relieve the stress of work and aging. We all told him he needed to quit, over and over again, but he never did. After witnessing the death of Nadiya, he still chose the risk. His lungs couldn't handle the repeated exposure to smoke and unfortunately he developed lung cancer. While my family supported him through the many rounds of chemotherapy, the damage was too severe to reverse. Years of suffering he endured, yet so easily avoidable. I think in many ways, the death of my grandfather changed something in me. As I mourn the lose of my grandpa who I was very close to, I still always wonder why he would get into such a dangerous pass time? Unlike Nadiya, my grandfather was fully aware of the risks of smoking, being a doctor himself, yet still proceeded until irreversible damage. My aunt believes it was an outlet for his stress like many smokers do, but such a hobby shouldn't be normalized in society. Substances that can cause such damage, destroying families and killing lives shouldn't be so easily available. Yet it is. If our society won't take the initiative to rid the accessibility of drugs, then I want to contribute to the world by doing what I can to stop more from becoming involved. All ages, young to old, deserve the education to know the dangers of doing so to their health and if they still feel that it remains an easy reliever for their emotions, then I want to be a person who is there to comfort their feelings and lead them astray from using substances. A career in psychiatry would allow me to provide that safe space to communicate stress to while also monitoring over-the-counter drugs my patients may be using. I can be there for those who damage their health because of stress like my grandfather. And I can help educate those who do not understand the full consequences of their prescriptions like my great-grandmother. Even if I'm able to help a few souls to protect their health before its too late, then I would feel accomplished with my life.