Close your eyes and imagine a police officer. What do you see? If I had to guess I'm sure you're picturing a 6' relatively buff middle-aged white man. He might be bald, he's probably wearing some form of sunglasses. Maybe even a mustache perhaps. Well if you were picturing this, that is my dad. So no, police work is not what I ever wanted to do as a child. Why? Well close your eyes again and now picture a 5'4 very thin queer woman with quite the baby face. Also, picture this individual not even hitting 5' until her junior year of high school. Talk about a late bloomer. Anyway, that's me. To say I did not fit the image of a police officer would be an understatement. Instead, my childhood brain dreamed up all sorts of crazy careers. First I wanted to be a veterinarian who lived on a massive pasture with thousands of horses. And also Dalmatians (I was obsessed with 101 Dalmatians). Then when we had to put my first dog down I realized this was an important task of a veterinarian. Yeah, not for me. Next, I garnered an obsession with the show Cake Boss and had myself convinced I would be the next greatest cake decorator. Sure, if I had an ounce of artistic ability which, I did not. Also, do you know how expensive cake decorating classes are? Yeah, my parents shot that idea down pretty quickly. One time I wrote a whole essay about being a spaceship stewardess. What is that? You might ask. Put simply, it is a flight attendant for spaceships, granted that we begin commercial space travel and you might need flight attendants for this sort of thing. We don't, but the essay was quite funny, make sure to eat your peanuts before 0 gravity. All of these crazy ideas and by the time I graduated high school I still had no idea what I was going to do. I entered college as an undeclared major, hoping it would show me some kind of path. I got lucky, and it did. I declared sociology and criminology and learned about social inequalities and marginalized communities. I also saw that I was dead wrong about my idealized police officer. Sure, there are a lot of large white men in the police force. They have their place and they always will. However, another thing college taught me was the idea of representation. How having a member of your community break through traditional barriers can be inspiring. I also learned about the massive failures of the criminal justice system to service the LGBTQ+ community. Beyond my community, so many other marginalized groups suffer at the hands of an unequal system. I discovered so much throughout my college experience, and have dedicated myself to working in the criminal justice system despite never wanting it as a child. My dad never inspired me to follow in his footsteps. His personality, his physique, and his ideologies all pushed me further away from his life. But I realized, what if I as a little girl saw someone just like me as a cop, or a district attorney, or a detective, or even an FBI agent? I think my passion for this field would have sparked much sooner in my life. What if I could be that person for some other little girl thinking the same things I did? Maybe just maybe it is possible to change the world by being the very change you wish to see.

Growing up in a small town in Colorado, the word Gay was never said. It was a topic that was nearly similar to "Big Foot" or the "Boogie Man". Some sort of unnatural scary creature that nobody understood or god forbid ever came into contact with. I wouldn't call it hate though, nobody inherently hated the LGBTQ+ community. It was more similar to a misunderstanding. I compare it to the scene in the original Beauty and the Beast movie where the town is terrified of the "beast" and they decide to hunt him down without ever trying to understand him first. Fear of the unknown is a powerful beast within itself. A force that compels society to commit the most atrocious crimes against one another, not because they truly hate something, but because they fear it. Where does this stem from? When we consider the terrifying dare I say "gays" most of this fear stems from religion. The idea that, the most powerful emotion we human beings can muster: love, might be shared between two men, two women, or even worse... individuals beyond the gender binary. Well, this is a sin. Gay... bad, blah blah, that's what little me knew it's what I believed. At age 16, my brother was forcibly outed by a police officer. World. War. Three. In my house. I had never seen my parents so distraught. Of course, at the time I was too young to understand anything going on, but what this did was emphasize even further, gay=bad. My brother left. Moved out to California as far from the homophobia he could get once he graduated college. And it was off to high school for me. The perfect Christian (very straight) daughter my parents had dreamed of. A beacon of hope for my family, one less stain on their parentage. Right? Wrong. I remember the moment my self-respect, self-love, my self-everything was completely flipped upside down and shattered in one instant. A junior in my theater class. A girl? I dressed up every day I had that class hoping to impress her. I wanted to be like her? No... that wasn't quite it, was it? Well, that's what I convinced myself anyway, that I just REALLY wanted to be her friend. Right, and then I thought about her all the time, and lo and behold, it turns out I am gay. Me? Remember, the shining beacon of my family... and oh yeah the religion thing? None of that business jived quite right with this new self-discovery. For the next month, I was bombarded with a whole host of self-hating comments. I was in a constant state of cognitive dissonance, questioning why I felt the way I did but also never being able to shove the feelings down enough to ignore them. Hating myself for these feelings I didn't understand. Hating myself for disappointing my family. Hating life for being so hard. Why me? I have been so perfect, why must I be given a disease so terrible? I suppose it took me a long while to get past all of these ridiculous notions. All the internalized homophobia pounded into me since childhood. It took a community of chosen family to teach me how to love myself. To understand that being gay is something to be proud of and not something to fear or to hate. My community saved my life, truly, I don't know if I would be here today if it weren't for the people who taught me how to accept and open my mind to love.

In the United States,1 out of every 6 women have been victims of sexual assault. In the time it has taken me to write these two sentences, another person became a victim (RAINN). These statistics are likely inaccurate. For a number of reasons, many victims of sexual assault are never reported as such, making the numbers even more unbelievable. Among countless other reasons, the victims are my motivation for becoming a first responder. The goal is to work my way up to person's detective, to solve these kinds of crimes and deliver justice to the victims and their families. Despite my father being in law enforcement, following in his footsteps was never on my radar. When I got to Colorado State University, it wasn't until my Junior year that I really discovered my path. I took a class called Criminal Investigations, where in which multiple guest speakers were invited to discuss with us. Multiple detectives, officers, forensic scientists, morticians, and even victims came to share their experiences. It was these individuals that fostered my inspiration and fueled my drive to help people. I found myself constantly excited for the class, and eager to learn more about what my future career would look like. One day, a victim came in to share her story. This was the first time that anything we had learned really started to feel real. She explained the crimes committed against her and the impact this had on her life. As she gave her presentation, officers from Fort Collins Police Station started filing into the room. There was probably close to ten or twelve of them sitting in full uniform at a tiny college desk, taking time out of their day to hear this woman speak. It wasn't until the presentation was finished that we learned that these officers had assisted in her investigation and helped her through the traumatic experience. She shared that she had garnered personal relationships with many of the responders in the room, and how each of them significantly helped to make the worst day of her life a little bit better. Then, each of the officers spoke and I remember one of them tearing up as she explained that the victims are the reason they do this. When the victims are adequately served and taken care of, their job is complete. That was it. I knew then that this was what I was meant to do. As a woman, I believe my unique experiences will increase the diversity in my field and help me to connect personally with certain members of my community. This scholarship will significantly aid me in completing my degree so that I can take the next step toward accomplishing my goals, saving lives, and serving my community. Sources Cited RAINN. “Scope of the Problem: Statistics | RAINN.” Rainn.org, rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem.

For most of my time attending Colorado State University, I had little idea about what I wanted to pursue in life. I grew up in a law enforcement family in which my dad has been a police officer for as long as I can remember. It was always incredible to listen to his stories and his experience, and his influence is what sparked my interest in criminology. When I got to college, I had the idea that I would study criminology, however pursuing anything in law enforcement was always terrifying to me even though becoming a detective is what I really wanted to do. As a woman, I had a certain perception of what a police officer looked like, and I did not fit this perception. I got it into my head that I was too small, or too weak to pursue law enforcement, and that it would be impossible for me to ever become a detective. This mental block caused a lot of uncertainty and anxiety about what my future would look like. After taking a criminal investigations course at Colorado State University, I have finally been able to be confident in pursuing what I want more than anything to do. A woman working with Fort Collins Police Station was invited to speak to our class, and through her speech, she inspired me to make the decision that I would pursue law enforcement. Officer Bailey completely altered my preconceived notions of the "big buff male cop", and her experiences taught me that I am capable of anything I wish to pursue if I work hard enough for it. After her visit to our class, I have felt extremely confident in my future path and finally have something to work for as well as be excited for. Not only did she teach me that women can be police officers and help make the world a better place, but she also provided a shining example of what and who I want to be. It is obvious that the criminal justice system is incredibly flawed and does not have much diversity when it comes to law enforcement. I believe diversity in a system so important to the well-being of our society is crucial in working towards fixing many of the issues that it faces. As a society, we cannot expect any substantial change to occur unless we actively do something about the issues we perceive. I am extremely passionate about the empowerment of women and moving forward I want to show not only the world but also myself that I am capable of accomplishing anything. I wish to be the change that I want to see within law enforcement, and I also hope to inspire other women to pursue the field as well. The power to overcome stereotypes lies completely in our hands, we are responsible for overcoming what and who we are told to be. Thanks to Officer Bailey, I am confident in my ability to lead by example as just one of the many women to break through societal barriers and accomplish the impossible.