When I was in 7th grade I was told looking at women for to long was considered a sin and any thoughts along those lines would wound me up in the depths of the 7th ring. I never understood what they meant, not untill I developed my first feelings for a bright and optimistic young blonde. I knew I was meant to surpress these feelings and I wasn't allowed to have that little light in my chest whenever her name was mentioned. That's why I took up the habit of writing, instead of talking to the demons in the closet why not have the pages do the talking for me. I would pour my heart out to that little pink notebook. I almost felt bad for it, for how my thoughts would consume the page and how convinced I was that I was on my way to meet the fire in death. Eventually I outgrew that crush but I couldn't escape the tight feeling I got in my chest whenever the words, "Gay" came out of someones mouth. It almost felt like an insult; It was so odd to hear those words when I couldn't tell whether to pick up the blue or pink paper. So, I did the only thing I could do which was to write. I would write untill my hand got tired, it just felt so natural and I felt good doing it. Even if the words that appeared on the page weren't exactly worded the way I had said in my head. When I got to freshman year of high school, I couldn't deny this part of myself and I started to seek help from others. This is where I would eventually meet my current girlfriend. She showed me that the parts of myself that I tried so hard to hide away were the parts of the rose that never got shown. I needed to accept and embrace my identity so I could fully bloom. It wasn't easy at first, of course I had nights when I cried in my room and thought, "Why can't I be normal?" No matter what I kept telling myself I knew this was apart of how I grew. Now I'm a senior in high school and I have fully appreciated my identity and I don't keep it hidden anymore. I finally faced those demons, but I learned they weren't nasty or mean but they were kind and gentle. With this fully discovered part of myself I finally felt free enough to write with expression. I now write short stories and poems about acceptance. Not only that but I even find time to start exploring my favorite genre, fantasy, that's what I write most now. I'm grateful to everyone who has encouraged me and stayed with me through everything. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that everything will be okay and you will learn to love yourself for who you are. That it will take time but you will get there. I am always proud to say I'm apart of the LGBTQ+ community and most of all I'm proud of how my thoughts on a small piece of paper have turned into beautiful stories.