“Little squirt” was the nickname I was given on my first day of working as a certified nursing assistant. That memory of my resident is something I will never forget, and it confirmed that the healthcare field is where I wanted to be. Turns out she was a former nurse and when I had the time I would talk to her about my life and vice versa. She was a reason I chose nursing as my path. For the past 4 years, I have continued to works as a CNA where I have built relationships with different facility’s residents or patients. Through the hard times of COVID-19, I stayed working because they need us and the reward was worth the struggle. The little moments I could share and truly connect with them is special to me. Each story told was unique and the bright smiles from someone wanting to hear their life is rewarding on its own. I can only hope that the impact they had on me was mutual.

My happiness can boil down to three things: my family, learning, and laughing. Without those I would crumble. My family helps me through difficult things in my life and remind me why I choose this path I am taking. Learning has always made me feel powerful. And laughing uncontrollably on the floor with people I live near is an addiction. Something so simple, but is so rewarding. However, I know that happiness is driven from being thankful for the now and what you have. Society has created the idea that we need want something and once we get it we are satisfied. But, not happy. We can’t calculate what will make us happy. We should be doing things, but without the underlying purpose of creating happiness. Because I’ve learned that doing so often creates the opposite effect. It’s like having high expectations. So as I like to tell people to practice K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple stupid). I reflect on my day before bed and tell myself one good thing that happened.

If you asked my parents, I never really new patience growing up. And to be honest I’m still working on it. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 18. My anxiety makes me feel like I need to rush and that there are not enough hours in the day to do all the tasks at hand. To simply put it- my mind likes going 100 miles a minute. I was becoming really fatigued by the end of every day. I started medication for my anxiety. It helps, but it isn’t a miracle. I was told that I needed to put in effort too. So I did. I take a moment to reflect at night to see the changes I need to make and what I did good. I even took up yoga to connect my mind and body. Patience brings me peace with my anxiety. It’s a way I can take control of my mind when I feel off the rails.

Like many people, I use reading to escape from my reality or to take myself on an adventure without having to leave my spot. Life can become difficult and stressful for me. So when I get the chance to read, I use it as an opportunity to improve myself mentally. What was a game-changer for me was expanding to different types of genres that I normally never read. Last year, I became introduced to the world of self-help books. I have yet to find a book as empowering as "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. At the time I started reading this book I was struggling with my mental health. I started anxiety medications along with antidepressants because I felt that everything was out of my control. Now I look back and think about how life granted me a rare moment of serendipity. I realized from "Man's Search for Meaning" that I may not have control over life itself, but rather a control over the reaction I have on life. Or as Frankl described it, inner freedom. From then on, I started training my brain to be optimistic with every experience that comes my way. I have learned many things from Frankl's book. However, the most important to me is that happiness cannot be my primary focus or conquest, but rather something that can not be foreseen.

I first want to start off by saying that I am a perfectionist and criticize myself frequently. Over the years I've learned to be more laid back and know that as long as I tried my best I'll be okay. As most would say, perfection is overrated. What really matters to me is experiencing and learning the most I can. After starting college I became a little lost and depressed. I had this plan, but I kept doubting myself and worrying too much. During my freshman year, I had a college orientation class where we read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. Through his book, learned what is truly important in my life and I started training my brain to be more optimistic. So you asked me to tell you something valuable about myself; my optimism. I look at every experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. Practicing optimism has helped me overcome some really tough times since then. Optimism has also made me accept reality like when something doesn't work out and lets me fully move on to the next experience.

After my first year at attempting to grow produce, it's safe to say that I've become a plantaholic. My parents use to have a garden that I would occasionally help out with. I realized that I missed having fresh produce. So I decided to take on my own garden. Since it was my first year, I went small and only selected watermelon, tomatoes, and herbs. I had several types of herbs: parsley, rosemary, oregano, dill, sweet basil, and lemon thyme. I ended up learning the different ways to dry the herbs and started cooking with them. Making pizza became one of my favorites because of the herbs I added. However, in the middle of July, I noticed that my parsley had become infested with caterpillars. They kept coming back after I removed them. I almost gave up. I decided to move them inside in front of a window. Problem solved! The watermelon had been the most fun to work with. I was constantly looking at their growth. The best part was hearing the sound when cutting them open and being able to smell them after. The taste was phenomenal and nothing compared to store-bought. The only problem came when they went wild and one watermelon ended up growing in my neighbor's yard. I had tried so hard to prevent that, but my neighbors just laughed and told me it was fine. The tomatoes lasted until the end of july. They just started to die and I wasn't sure why. I also had a cherry tomatoe plant, but it died before I was able to get any produce. So I might need to revise my plans for next year. The tomatoes that I did get were amazing and used for every sandwich I made. Now with gardening as a hobby, it sprouted my new passion for cooking, especially when using my herbs. Everything tasted so much better. My plan for next year is to add cucumbers, strawberries, and more herbs to the list. I am very excited because I will have a bigger space to grow plants next year. I even inspired my nephew to want a garden!