I want to start off by saying that I will not be mentioning what my addiction is, as it is very embarrassing and too much information that nobody wants to hear about, but I can imagine you might piece it together on your own. That being said, this addiction I have is something I've been dealing with for over a decade, ever since I was a kid. I was curious about it but didn't fully grasp what it was about it that made me interested in it. But while I was confused, I was already on the pathway to a life of synapse skewing and degeneracy. I kept going to it, more and more as the years progressed, new avenues being explored that at the time, I knew there was something wrong about it, but it was too exciting and adventurous, but I knew better to keep it too myself. I wish I hadn't and actually talked with my parents about. It got to a point I couldn't get myself to go more than a week without my source. Over the course of all this, I had begun to lose interest in passions, general demotivation, began to seclude myself more, got angrier of the loved ones around me, and it made me more paranoid and afraid of people being my friends, although my personality also had an impact on that. Overall, it impacted my ADHD in an awful way as well, even though I didn't know I had ADHD until recently. I began to realize I had a problem, but I didn't take the proper precautions and route, and sadly, because of my naivety and selfishness, it led me to do some awful things. I say it led me, but I should've known better in the first place. After realizing that this, I had joined a community of people who had this same, "thing," so I could relate to them, but celebrated it more than anything. So did I as well, I felt like doing so would help me come to terms with it, but it didn't, and I partially blame myself for that. After hurting others and myself, I finally had enough and began taking steps to get away from this addiction. But that was two years ago, my progress has only improved slightly. Over these last two years, I've talked with friends about this who could relate. I've tried abstaining from it, but I always let myself down and continue to go back to it. The longest I've gone without it was almost 3 months but failed in the last week. I cannot truly say it's been really tough, as I've been on and off trying, and I feel like I haven't tried enough. Maybe it's my apathy, or the addiction trying to get me to not let it go, but that's how I feel. But I am getting there, I'm getting there eventually, that's what everyone around me tells me. My relationship with my family has gotten much better since I've tried harder, and I feel more confident in connecting with people in person. But the most insane thing to come out of the actual addiction is me making long lasting friends, and finding a new interest that I probably never would've gotten if I hadn't had this addiction. It's really weird, I hate this addiction, but it has unironically given me good things in return. It's too late to go back and change things, but if I keep working, I can improve my life to move away from this to live my life healthier and sweeter.