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Honestly, the biggest challenge I have ever faced is probably developing a relationship with my dad. He was so young when I was born: he was raising me while still raising himself. He also wasn't around much during my childhood because he was an over the road trucker. Dad and I have always been a lot alike. When I was younger, I was 'Daddy's little princess.' But, as I got older and started to form my own opinions, our relationship began to crumble. My mom and dad decided they were getting divorced. That's when our relationship took a hurting. I found out that he cheated on my mom: then I lost a lot of respect for him. I distanced myself from him until we'd talk only once every few months. I was always so angry with him. But, he wasn't helpful either. He didn't know how to handle my attitude, which caused him to not care about a relationship. I spent endless nights crying myself to sleep, wondering why my dad hates me. One day my mom tells me that my dad thinks he has a brain tumor, later we found out he has multiple sclerosis. I was so sick to my stomach. All I could think was if he dies I will have to live my life never having the chance to develop a relationship with him. I was done being so hostile and depressed all of the time. I missed my dad. So, I decided to call him up and confront him about everything. I went into the attic in my garage and talked to him for two hours. After I got off of the call with Dad, I felt a little better. I just told him everything that he has done and said to me within the last four years that has hurt me. Our conversation was the first step to a long journey ahead. Soon I started going to his house more, even moved in with him for a couple of years. When I moved in with my dad, we were able to hang out and talk more. Now, we're better than we've ever been. There was a lot of work involved in our relationship to get to where it is now. This coming of age challenge has taught me many things. I have learned that communication is key to all relationships. When I explain to people why I'm not happy, they can fix it a lot quicker than if I make them guess. I learned was how precious time is. I can't go through my life running from my problems because they'll only get worse and never go away. My time with the people I love is limited: I never know when the last time I'll see them will be. I learned that I needn't be afraid of confrontation, tell people how much they mean to me, and be happy, not angry.

I was eight years old when I got in my dad’s pickup. I didn’t question why my mom was in a different vehicle; I was just excited to finally see my dad for the first time in a couple of weeks. He was gone often in my childhood, working over as a long-haul trucker. I didn’t realize anything was wrong; I was too occupied rambling off all the exciting things that had happened since the last time I saw him. Soon into the conversation, I felt my innocence slip from my grasp. All I could think was why was this happening? I knew what divorce meant, but wasn’t sure what was going to happen to my family. Their divorce would make me and my parents realize how important family is, expand my opportunities, and most importantly, teach me about real life. I spent the summer after third grade learning how important family actually is. After the divorce, my dad moved in with his now wife, Ashley. My mom later met and later married, Larry. There was a big adjustment to be made. I now had two new people telling me what to do. I unquestionably didn’t want to listen to two people that I believed were trying to fill the roles of my mom and dad. I had a hard time accepting the fact that Larry and Ashley weren’t going anywhere. However, when I eventually accepted reality, I realized they could be a blessing. They brought me more love and support me. Along with new grandparents, siblings, aunts, and uncles. Now I can’t imagine my life any other way. My life became filled with so many amazing people that might not be family by blood, but they are my family. I couldn’t imagine spending any Christmas or birthday without my new family members. My dad used to never be around when I was a kid because of his job, but, a couple of years after he met Ashley, he realized that he doesn’t want to miss anything else in his kids’ lives. He realized that family and happiness were more important than money. So, he decided to get a new job, one where he’d be home every night. He also started to do more things with us, and I started to see him in my life more. I am so thankful for the divorce because of my new family and I was given the opportunity to get closer to my dad. Having divorced parents came with many opportunities as well. Especially, when they lived in different towns. I lived with my mom for the majority of my life in Sherman. But, I decided to make a hard decision about what is better for me and move to my dad’s house in Medway. I knew that moving would be much better for me and full of opportunities. I was able to take better classes. Including, Registered Medical Assistant program at NPT Region Three. I also got the opportunity to work as a lifeguard and at McDonald’s. Family is important to me, so one of my favorite parts of moving to Medway is the fact that I had the opportunity to meet some cousins on my dad’s side that I have grown very close to. My parents fought often at home which was very distracting, so there were times when I had a hard time doing my homework. If they had stayed together, the fighting would’ve gotten worse, and I most likely wouldn’t have been a good student like I am today. I will forever be grateful for their divorce for these reasons. The divorce also brought me knowledge of what life is really like. I was young and ignorant when they divorced. This caused me to be angry for a long time which quickly consumed my life. I would get angry and avoid talking about how I felt. I was deeply angry because I knew details of their divorce that a kid my age shouldn’t have known. I figured out that my dad was having an affair with Ashley. But, I blamed my dad for making me grow up too quickly. I blamed him for carelessly cheating and I blamed Ashley for stealing my dad. I had so much to say to both of them but I was so full of anger that I found communicating hard. I took baby steps to learn to communicate with him. After a while, I started to develop a strong relationship with him. I learned my communication skills from my mom. I believe that I learned how relationships, of all kinds, work. I’m grateful that my parents remarried because I went from only knowing what a toxic relationship looks like to being taught what a thriving and healthy relationship was like. Divorce taught me many things about life and relationships. I was sixteen years old when I got into my dad’s pickup. I still didn’t question the fact I was in a separate vehicle than my mom but this time was normal. Once again, I was rambling off about the things that have happened in my life since the last time I’ve seen him. This time things were different, the last time I saw my dad was that morning before school and this ride wasn’t going to be a ride that would change my life. This ride was a happy ride home to see our blended family. I looked over at my dad and thought how far we have come. I finally have a relationship with him and have actually learned how to communicate, especially with Ashley. I thought back to when I was eight years old and got into his pick-up to hear horrible news. I thought about how “horrible news” has brought a wonderful new family. I have realized how important family is, gained knowledge, and been given countless opportunities. I find my situation quite ironic because the once worst news of my life turned into the best news.

When I was in middle school I was fairly insecure about my weight. Even though I wasn't "fat" I wanted to lose weight. I repeatedly would go on diets, set goals, make New Year's resolutions based on losing weight. I failed time after time. Eventually, I just stopped and learned to love myself. I have learned to find myself beautiful. After years of struggling with insecurities and self-image issues, I am now so confident. The reason this is important to me is that I have little sisters, cousins, and even friends who look up to me. I don't want them to be insecure or to go through the same struggles that I did. So, I make sure that people know how confident and secure I am with myself in hope that they can learn from me. From making these changes I have also seen changes among the females around me. This may not seem like a major failure to some people and some may not see the relevance. But, the reason that I believe this is a failure is because of the many nights I would cry myself to sleep because I hated the way I looked. I never want any young girl to feel that way because everybody is beautiful. I think being bigger has made me a better person because I am now a strong, secure, loving advocate and role model. I take great joy in knowing that I am teaching my sister to love herself even when society and media are trying to poison her mind to think otherwise.

In 2017, my boyfriend had planned to end his life. His mental health was low, he was doing poorly in school, and he had no plans or goals with his life. I helped get him the help he needed and then get on the right path in life. He is now healthy, happy, and is going to attend college for plumbing. I greatly impacted his life because I physically stopped him from taking his life.