How do you thrive when you are living far longer than you thought you would? Let me explain, for most of my teenage years I spent my time either in the band room or at home alone in the dark. That time was particularly difficult, young, suicidal, and unsure of how to get help I dealt with most of my issues internally. At age 13 I attempted to take my own life and was unsuccessful. In my later teenage years I was sure I would not make it to age 18 and that no one would care if I was gone. I hated myself and kept myself so busy between AP classes, band commitments, and a job so I would not have to feel anything. With no time to process my emotions my walls started to crumble and my friends started to show concern. By 16 I restarted my journal and started to look for people with similar experiences online, which made me realise that I needed professional medical attention. After begging my mother, I got a therapist and started attending sessions on a regular basis. This was the best thing that I could have done for myself at that point as doing school, band, and/or work every day of the week was unsustainable. I had almost completely destroyed myself even at that young of an age. Then I quit my dishwashing job. I had to in order to fufill my duties to my fellow students as their percussion leader. I was the first line of communication between my students and the teacher. Our teacher's wife went into labor the day of our first competition that year adn I signle handedly was able to pack our instruments and the color guard's flags without adult help because of the time i had dedicated to my team. It was then I knew how I wanted to actually exist in the world, helpful and whole. Nowadays I attend school, work, and volunteer. I have learned how to balance these things in order to achieve success and fufillment while remaining mentally stable. My mental health still impacts me every day of the week, but I find a way to get up and attend class. When my depression tries to hold me down and tell me I am worthless I do my best to get up again and again. I know that my mental illness will never leave and I have a lot of work to do in order to graduate, so I will manage my mind in a way to continue forward.

My mental health has always been an issue in my life. I realized at a young age that I had to look out for myself because those who were meant to care for me could not. When I was a preteen I attempted suicide and since then I have tried to be kind to everyone around me. I try to not take the sunshine for granted because I almost lost the ability to ever feel it on my skin. I have never taken mental health for granted again. At twenty, I am working towards an ethnomusicology degree in a city with a huge queer community. I spend an hour in therapy every week to sort through my life both past and current. I care for my friends and they care for me in ways I never thought possible. It is worth my time and effort to let them in although it is a difficulty for me. Independence is built with the support of others and I am learning to accept that. My journey of mental wellness is ongoing and will continue for the rest of my life.

When I was twelve my identity had reached my conscious mind. I did not understand the feelings and desires I had so I called myself awful things in my journals. I was already struggling with untreated clinical depression so this was just another angle for my thoughts to attack me from. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. At thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. At fourteen, I fully came out to anyone outside of my family. I had spent the last few years using sleep away camp as the place to express myself and use my pronouns, instead of the ones I was assigned at birth. Some people respected me and others reacted incredibly negatively. At the beginning of high school I was the only openly transgender person in my marching band. When I graduated I was one of, at the very least, six and the band was queer safe in general. However, the journey there was filled with people openly sharing their opinions of the trans community directly to my face. I dealt with teachers who just refused to acknowledge any other pronouns than the ones that I “must” fit. I had no role models, no one who genuinely cared about the emotional labor I gave everyone surrounding my identity. My band director changed junior year and while I appreciated the respect he wanted to give me, I had to teach it to him. I was the one who was always addressed when a gender divide issue arose. Regardless of people respecting me, there were always mistakes. I always knew that I was simply surviving cisgender heterosexual adults until I could leave that behind. At twenty, I am working towards an ethnomusicology degree in a city with a huge queer community. I want to study abroad and find queer musicians to either collaborate with or appreciate. I will support those that I can and broadcast their music if given the opportunity and permission. I hope to work with these people past the end of my degree while watching their success grow. At the same time I hope to be an activist for queer people everywhere. I have it fairly easy here, even with how difficult it has been. The end goal of my education is to have a positive impact on the universe, because one drop still causes ripples.

My struggle with clinical depression began in early childhood. I realized the adults who were meant to care for me left that responsibility in my hands. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. At thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I’m still here, and since then I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. Every day I take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline; I feed myself, bathe regularly and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. While these steps seem easy to most, depression and executive dysfunction often interrupt my ability to care for myself. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness. My life may not look conventionally ideal, but I do what works best for me, and aim as high as I can. My illness makes it hard to socialize and leave my home without becoming mentally drained, so I’ve found workarounds to spend time with the people I care about and still be able to attend class regularly. I’ve structured my life around realistic goals for myself, including the knowledge that recharging is necessary. Currently, my academic career is about getting my Bachelor's degree in ethnomusicology: the study of the intersection between music and culture. Between working part time, attending classes, and some needed financial support, I try my best to grow from that suicidal person I spent half a decade healing. And it hasn’t been without reward. I have a better idea of my identity, desires, and what brings joy into living. I am at a point where I can be kind to people even on the worst days. My studies are deeply fascinating and drive me to attend class. My life feels like it is mostly my own these days, and even when it gets difficult, I have a burning desire to live.

Billie's Tips and Resources: - Compliments - Try to genuinely compliment people on their choices and compliment yourself once a day. - Journaling - Most can agree processing emotions externally with yourself is necessary for personal growth. - Therapy - Having a professional recognize your progress and aid you in forward motion is an incredible feeling. - Yoga: Finding the poses that release the most tension in your body and enjoy the relief. - Meditation: By allowing my thoughts to flow out of me until there are none I am able to refocus my energy and ideas. - Nature: Take time to appreciate nature, attempt to make the spaces around you more beautiful. Delayed gratification is good for us all.

I love nature because it takes care of us. When we tend to a garden the flowers bring us joy and any food is an added bonus. When we need time to think most will think of a spot with some amount of the natural environment involved. I love to sit and listen to the birds when I can, either out of my window or walking around campus. They have so many different calls and all of the sounds are intriguing. There is always something new in the soundscape as various species migrate in and out of my city. Another thing is photographing flowers. I will always take pictures of flowers on the ground, on bushes, and on trees because they are so beautiful. Overall, I love nature and attempt to appreciate it in ways that will not damage anything around me.

My struggle with clinical depression began in early childhood. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. I was struggling with gender identity at a school that made it clear those things were not to be discussed. I had no examples of someone who was transgender and bisexual. I told myself it was wrong to love more than one person at a time. Ultimately at thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I’m still here, and since then I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. Every day I take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline; I feed myself, take my daily antidepressant, and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness. I have learned to cut and dye my own hair so I can always look the way I want to. I had top surgery and have gotten many piercings to achieve this goal as well. I am nonbinary, polyamorous, and queer which shows on the surface of my person because I am proud to be myself. I fought myself to live and I will not back down in the face of hate and oppression. My life may not look conventionally ideal, but I do what works best for me, and aim as high as I can. My illness makes it hard to socialize and leave my home without becoming mentally drained, so I’ve found workarounds to spend time with the people I care about and still be able to attend class regularly. In fact, one of the activities my friends and I do together is share a nice nap after a busy day. I’ve structured my life around realistic goals for myself and my partners; we’re looking forward to a three bedroom condo, which split between the three of us should be affordable. Right now my academic career is about getting my Bachelor's degree in ethnomusicology: the study of the intersection between music and culture. Between working part time, attending classes, and some needed financial support, I try my best to grow from that suicidal person I spent half a decade healing. This has been supported by medication, therapy, and fostering my queerness. I am allowed to be myself and I understand the way I love and who I love which I did not at a younger age. My work hasn’t been without reward. My current partners are rocks in my life, showing me unconditional love for the first time, and giving me hope for the future. My studies are deeply fascinating and drive me to attend class. My life feels like it is mostly my own these days, and even when it gets difficult, I have a burning desire to live.

My struggle with clinical depression began in early childhood. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. At thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I’m still here, and since then I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. Every day I take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline; I feed myself, take my daily antidepressant, and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness. My life may not look conventionally ideal, but I do what works best for me, and aim as high as I can. My illness makes it hard to socialize and leave my home without becoming mentally drained, so I’ve structured my life around realistic goals for myself and my partner; we’re looking forward to a three bedroom condo, which we can afford with a housemate. Right now my academic career is about getting my Bachelor's degree in ethnomusicology: the study of the intersection between music and culture. Between working part time, attending classes, and some needed financial support, I try my best to grow from that suicidal person I spent half a decade healing and spend time with friends. And it hasn’t been without reward. My current partners are rocks in my life, showing me unconditional love for the first time, and giving me hope for the future. My studies are deeply fascinating and it pushes me to attend class. My life feels like it is mostly my own these days, and even when it gets difficult, I have a burning desire to live.

My struggle with clinical depression began in early childhood. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. At thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I’m still here, and since then I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. Every day I take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline; I feed myself, take my daily antidepressant, and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness. My life may not look conventionally ideal, but I do what works best for me, and aim as high as I can. My illness makes it hard to socialize and leave my home without becoming mentally drained, so I’ve found workarounds to spend time with the people I care about and still be able to attend class regularly. In fact, one of the activities my friends and I regularly do together is share a nice nap after a busy day. I’ve structured my life around realistic goals for myself and my partner; we’re looking forward to a three bedroom condo, which we can afford with a housemate. Right now my academic career is about getting my Bachelor's degree in ethnomusicology: the study of the intersection between music and culture. Between working part time, attending classes, and some needed financial support, I try my best to grow from that suicidal person I spent half a decade healing. And it hasn’t been without reward. My current partners are rocks in my life, showing me unconditional love for the first time, and giving me hope for the future. My studies are deeply fascinating and drive me to attend class. My life feels like it is mostly my own these days, and even when it gets difficult, I have a burning desire to live.

The most practical solution for aiding the general population's mental health is free and accessible healthcare. There truly is no way around it, if people cannot attend to their physical health and go to therapy for an affordable price nothing will change. If medication continues to be the price that it is, people will stop being able to purchase it. Free medical care heavily subsidized by tax dollars is the only true solution to our collective suffering.

My struggle with clinical depression began in early childhood. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. At thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I’m still here, and since then I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. Every day I take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline; I feed myself, take my daily antidepressant, and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness. My life may not look conventionally ideal, but I do what works best for me, and aim as high as I can. My illness makes it hard to socialize and leave my home without becoming mentally drained, so I’ve found workarounds to spend time with the people I care about and still be able to attend class regularly. In fact, one of the activities my friends and I regularly do together is share a nice nap after a busy day. I’ve structured my life around realistic goals for myself and my partner; we’re looking forward to a three bedroom condo, which we can afford with a housemate. Right now my academic career is about getting my Bachelor's degree in ethnomusicology: the study of the intersection between music and culture. Between working part time, attending classes, and some needed financial support, I try my best to grow from that suicidal person I spent half a decade healing. And it hasn’t been without reward. My current partners are rocks in my life, showing me unconditional love for the first time, and giving me hope for the future. My studies are deeply fascinating and drive me to attend class. My life feels like it is mostly my own these days, and even when it gets difficult, I have a burning desire to live.

The way I present myself on a day to day basis is how I stay true to myself. I am nonbinary, polyamorous, and queer which shows on the surface of my person. Even before I open my mouth my dyed hair and many piercings mark me as an outcast. My hair has been countless different colors and I have 12 piercings on my person. I dress in mostly black or grey and always wear my punk battle vest which is covered in patches and pins. I raised 3300 dollars to get chest surgery and be able to present as my gender on a day to day basis and wear a pronoun pin so no one has to ask. My physical presentation is incredibly important as it denotes me as a safe space to my community. While being myself alienates me from most of society it shows those who matter that I am safe. That is more important to me than being socially acceptable.

I love my never ending tenacity to endure my own mind because my struggle with clinical depression began in early childhood. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. At thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I’m still here, and since then I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. Every day I take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline; I feed myself, take my daily antidepressant, and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness. My desire to live is still strenuous but I work everyday to help myself and those around me. I have built myself a life I want to live by enrolling to a university I love and studying what brings glee into my life: music. By being tenacious I have pushed myself to live until now and I will not be giving up anytime in the near future.

Every day we can do a small thing to change the world in a positive way. The things I do day to day vary but often include picking up trash. I have pulled over to catch a tumbleweed, pulled weeds at my therapists office, and cleared drains of slush and ice. This does not come without downfalls as I have to take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline: feed myself, take my daily antidepressant, and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness which is why I help by picking up the random wrappers in my path. Besides the tasks I can complete I enjoy listening to people. Often strangers at the bus stop will approach me and I will allow them to express what they need to within reason. When someone asks for the time I respond. I encourage kindness amongst my friends. The tiniest actions can have the largest impact.

My life may not look conventionally ideal, but I do what works best for me, and aim as high as I can. My illness makes it hard to socialize and leave my home without becoming mentally drained, so I’ve found workarounds to spend time with the people I care about and still be able to attend class regularly. In fact, one of the activities my friends and I regularly do together is share a nice nap after a busy day. I’ve structured my life around realistic goals for myself and my partner; we’re looking forward to a three bedroom condo, which we can afford with a housemate. Right now my academic career is about getting my Bachelor's degree in ethnomusicology: the study of the intersection between music and culture. Between working part time, attending classes, and some needed financial support, I try my best to grow from that suicidal person I spent half a decade healing. And it hasn’t been without reward. My current partners are rocks in my life, showing me unconditional love for the first time, and giving me hope for the future. My studies are deeply fascinating and drive me to attend class. My life feels like it is mostly my own these days, and even when it gets difficult, I have a burning desire to live.

My struggle with clinical depression began in early childhood. As my peers grew closer together over their tween years, I only felt more isolated and misunderstood. At thirteen, I made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I’m still here, and since then I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. Every day I take care of myself so my mental health stays at the normal baseline; I feed myself, take my daily antidepressant, and let the sunlight in when it’s around. Once a week I do laundry and run the dishwasher to ensure the cleanliness of my space. The smallest tasks help maintain my sense of happiness. My life may not look conventionally ideal, but I do what works best for me, and aim as high as I can. My illness makes it hard to socialize and leave my home without becoming mentally drained, so I’ve found workarounds to spend time with the people I care about and still be able to attend class regularly. In fact, one of the activities my friends and I regularly do together is share a nice nap after a busy day. I’ve structured my life around realistic goals for myself and my partner; we’re looking forward to a three bedroom condo, which we can afford with a housemate. Right now my academic career is about getting my Bachelor's degree in ethnomusicology: the study of the intersection between music and culture. Between working part time, attending classes, and some needed financial support, I try my best to grow from that suicidal person I spent half a decade healing. And it hasn’t been without reward. My current partners are rocks in my life, showing me unconditional love for the first time, and giving me hope for the future. My studies are deeply fascinating and drive me to attend class. My life feels like it is mostly my own these days, and even when it gets difficult, I have a burning desire to live.

Before my transfer to UW, I was uncertain of continuing my college career. Now, my educational goal at University of Washington is switching to an ethnomusicology major. I am currently a music major with a concentration in percussion, which I enjoy and I believe it would make for a wonderful minor. I plan to graduate in 2024 with my bachelors degree. While in college I hope to live with my partners and move into a two bedroom apartment. I plan to live a life where we cook for ourselves most meals. One where we can all be safe, free to express our queerness. We will grow vegetables, learn to make pasta and bread from scratch, in general just live healthier lives. I hope to spread enough kindness in my community and get to know my neighbors enough to create genuine change. My goal is always solidarity because, is what feeds children breakfast every morning, what makes sure packages make it to their owners. We should all strive to know the people who live near us and make sure their kids are fed.