It's kind of like having a friend who you are close with but don't always talk to. When you do reach out though, it is like nothing ever changed and the friendship continues just where it left off. Occasionally, I feel the urge to check in on Grant and see how he is doing. Then I remember that I can't and that he is not off living his life and doing all the things young adults do. Grant committed suicide in 2017 when he was only 18 years old. He did so 3 days after I gently turned down his romantic request in place of a platonic friendship. I know that I am not the one who pulled the trigger, nor am I the sole reason the trigger was pulled. However, I realize that my rejection was likely the last straw. After that, I stumbled through the rest of my senior year of high school. I went to college only 30 minutes from home so that I could still be close to my family while I grieved. I told myself that I would only be friends with people who didn't have the baggage or the depression that Grant had had. I would only be friends with mentally and emotionally stable people who were always happy. I soon found myself very alone. It turns out that pain is part of the human experience. I had to learn how to be someone to lean on again without drowning along with the person in pain. I had vicariously felt so much pain in high school that was not my own. This did not help bear someone else's pain but only doubled it. Throughout my undergraduate degree, I learned how to separate my grief from my school workload. Occasionally, it would creep up on me like on the anniversary of his death or when I heard a joke he would have liked. One time, I was at work and opened my phone to see a FaceBook notification that it was Grant's birthday. It was years after his death at that point, but I had to leave the room and confused my transcription partner. I still see art or hear a philosophical idea and immediately want to share it with Grant. Somehow, it always is a small surprise that I can't. I know he is gone, but my heart momentarily forgets from time to time when I am reminded of him. I am in a helping profession where I will work with people who struggle with communication differences or disorders. This is no small inconvenience. The ability and ease of communicating are vital to the overall quality of life. I want to be someone that people can lean on and share their joy and sadness with. I want to be able to do this in a healthy way though. I know now that sneaking out in the dead of night to go make Grant laugh and leave with my purse heavier with bullets from his gun was not the right way to be supportive. There are resources and parents and loved ones and so many things that I could have and should have sought out for Grant when he experienced lows. I educate myself with what resources my school provides and how therapy, exercise, sunshine, and more can help depression. Losing Grant taught me that I cannot bear others' pain on my own. I cannot save someone from their own gun by taking away some bullets. But I can turn to resources that ultimately can help me help others in a healthy way.

"All the Light We Cannot See" by Anthony Doerr broke and built up my heart in ways that I had never experienced. The enchantment of radios, the cursed jewel, and the rickety old house by the sea invite the reader into a world full of humanity and the lack thereof during the German occupation of France. Marie-Laure loves her father dearly. He cares for her by teaching her to navigate their neighborhood with a scale model as she is blind. Werner loves his sister dearly. They bond over listening to the scientific musings of a mysterious voice on a radio Werner learns to fix. Marie-Laure and Werner's stories intertwine with morality coming into question as Marie-Laure and her great-uncle join the resistance against the German occupation and Werner uses his knowledge of radios to track down illegal broadcasts. Both want good and are full of curiosity and brightness. I kept hoping that Marie-Laure's father would come home even after his placement in a German prison camp. It shocked me when he died - he never got to see his daughter again, and she never got to hear his voice again. The war halted worthy lives and relationships that had so much potential to bring joy and light into this present darkness. Werner's mind was incredible but he had to use it to appease the Nazis he worked with. His story was cut unbearably short. The words Doerr used to carefully craft moments full of hope or heartbreak, suspense or resolution at times took my breath away. The way that language can cause emotions never felt before to rise from the pit of your stomach to your throat: the grief of another's loss or relief in an act of good or anger at a total injustice can expand the entire human experience we have here on earth. It is better to feel deeply than to always live in the grey twilight of never knowing true joy or true pain. This book engrossed me and allowed me to take on the emotions and experiences of people who never existed but whose experiences did. Books create much needed empathy and understanding that people cannot always get otherwise. Books can evoke all the feelings we cannot feel on our own just as Marie-Laure experienced all the light she could not see through the caring love of her father and the saving act of Werner.

It's kind of like having a friend who you are close with but don't always talk to. When you do reach out though, it is like nothing ever changed and the friendship continues just where it left off. Occasionally, I feel the urge to check in on Grant and see how he is doing. Then I remember that I can't and that he is not off living his life and doing all the things young adults do. Grant committed suicide in 2017 when he was only 18 years old. He did so 3 days after I gently turned down his romantic request in place of a platonic friendship. I know that I am not the one who pulled the trigger, nor am I the sole reason the trigger was pulled. However, I realize that my rejection was likely the last straw. After that, I stumbled through the rest of my senior year of high school. I went to college only 30 minutes from home so that I could still be close to my family while I grieved. I told myself that I would only be friends with people who didn't have the baggage or the depression that Grant had had. I would only be friends with mentally and emotionally stable people who were always happy. I soon found myself very alone. It turns out that pain is part of the human experience. I had to learn how to be someone to lean on again without drowning along with the person in pain. I had vicariously felt so much pain in high school that was not my own. This did not help bear someone else's pain but only doubled it. Throughout my undergraduate degree, I learned how to separate my grief from my school workload. Occasionally, it would creep up on me like on the anniversary of his death or when I heard a joke he would have liked. One time, I was at work and opened my phone to see a FaceBook notification that it was Grant's birthday. It was years after his death at that point, but I had to leave the room and confused my transcription partner. I still see art or hear a philosophical idea and immediately want to share it with Grant. Somehow, it always is a small surprise that I can't. I know he is gone, but my heart momentarily forgets from time to time when I am reminded of him. I am in a helping profession where I will work with people who struggle with communication differences or disorders. This is no small inconvenience. The ability and ease of communicating are vital to the overall quality of life. I want to be someone that people can lean on and share their joy and sadness with. I want to be able to do this in a healthy way though. I know now that sneaking out in the dead of night to go make Grant laugh and leave with my purse heavier with bullets from his gun was not the right way to be supportive. There are resources and parents and loved ones and so many things that I could have and should have sought out for Grant when he experienced lows. I educate myself with what resources my school provides and how therapy, exercise, sunshine, and more can help depression. Losing Grant taught me that I cannot bear others' pain on my own. I cannot save someone from their own gun by taking away some bullets. But I can turn to resources that ultimately can help me help others in a healthy way.

My favorite song is "Wildest Dreams" because I love a song that can create an image in my mind accompanied by a real feeling. I can clearly see a barefoot young woman wearing a white dress with warm tones of sunset accentuating her red lipstick and rosy blush, making her almost glow with the sounds of the beach running its salty scent through her sunkissed hair. Even though the song states that nothing lasts forever, the memory of a breathtaking moment makes its way into his dreams and reminds him of youth and beauty and young love. While I plan to marry the man I have been dating for a little over 3 years, I hope that when we are old and gray that he remembers moments like these. Memories are what make us who we are. Dreams don't have to be of an untouchable future, but a reminder of our humanness that we already experienced. It's a dream already come true. I won't lie, I did not always listen to Taylor Swift - not because I didn't like her music but because my parents only ever listened to Christian radio and my sister and I only had CDs of Disney music. I remember thinking my friends were so cool when I would go over to their houses and they would show me Taylor Swift's music videos. Eventually, I started listening to Pentatonix because I was in awe at their acapella abilities. This led me to Superfruit made up of Mitch and Scott of Pentatonix. I actually heard their medley of this album before I ever heard her real album. Of all the snippets of songs they sang within 3 and a half minutes, the chorus of "Wildest Dreams" always stood out to me the most. I usually pride myself on not always listening to pop music but having my own taste in alternative folksy music made by artists few know about. I have a whole playlist full of music from lesser-known artists. However, Taylor's songs usually creep their way into my most listened-to playlist. While her music video for this song does not match up with the image in my head, I am so incredibly thankful for artists like Taylor Swift who go out of their way to share their success abundantly by donating to worthy institutions like the African Parks Foundation of America. Overall, this song reminds me of the importance of memories because, while they don't last forever, they make us who we are.

I am a confident woman working to better the quality of life for people with a communication disorder who experiences financial freedom enough to openly share with those in need by starting a literacy program, empowering families, encouraging multilingualism and diversity, and instilling hope in those around me.

As She Sleeps A mysterious sight to behold, Such elegance to look upon. Deep in sleep, she is wise and old, But when waking, young as dawn. The pain, the tragedy on her face Is beautiful, breathtaking. As if an echo, a memory Of the delight in waking. The radiant glow in her bright eyes Shines as she triumphs o'er the day! The birds greet her with sweet melodies As night slowly melts away. She is brilliant and glorious! Enchanting as she heads west. She is sorrowful, yet beautiful, Somber as she lies down to rest. A mirror image of when waking, Light, herself, closes her eyes With stars in her dreams to remember Morning when she is to rise! [Written in 2013 ~13 years old] Vivere con nostrum solis In the beginning, He said, Let there be light: A greater light to rule the day And a lesser light to rule the night. Our very own star whose light is only 500 moments away A main sequence G star only 4.6 billion years old Holding us close with one solar mass’s pull. Gravitas – the seriousness of our own insignificance. Isn’t it curious that even so, We can find solace and know That our own solis allows life to be lived By you and me, the trees, the tiny bees? Our Goldilocks zone, rocky, and minuscule home With oceans of the very stuff of life Is rare. We are rare in this galaxy. How extraordinary it is to even exist In a surrounding ring of endless light – Endless in our little lifetimes But halfway through the Sun’s. The moon holds close to us With his face singing to Earth every night, Tidal-locked, half dark, and half bright. The Earth dances around the Sun With her face turning towards, shying away. We hold on to each other with gravity – We hold onto light and warmth: the day, The same way it draws us close with endless tenacity. Vivere in nanum In the beginning, He said, Let there be light: A greater light to rule the day And a lesser light to rule the night – and the stars. The Genesis of light shines in the darkness And the darkness has not overcome it. In an afterthought, a new star was formed. Dust and particles clashed together – Through collision and chaos came creation. Vivere in stellas Along the celestial river, Starting at the foot of Orion, Eridanus holds Epsilon Eridani Whose young light only took 10 years to reach us. A K dwarf with a potential planetary system May have the potential to host life With its temperature, size, and habitable zone. Epsilon will far outlive our own. Perhaps its planetesimals will be home To life after life as we know it Has come to an end. We will toil until we return to the ground – For out of it we were taken, For you are stardust And to dust you shall return. [Written in 2018 - 18 years old]

"All the Light We Cannot See" by Anthony Doerr broke and built up my heart in ways that I had never experienced. The enchantment of radios, the cursed jewel, and the rickety old house by the sea invite the reader into a world full of humanity and the lack thereof during the German occupation of France. Marie-Laure loves her father dearly. He cares for her by teaching her to navigate their neighborhood with a scale model as she is blind. Werner loves his sister dearly. They bond over listening to the scientific musings of a mysterious voice on a radio Werner learns to fix. Marie-Laure and Werner's stories intertwine with morality coming into question as Marie-Laure and her great-uncle join the resistance against the German occupation and Werner uses his knowledge of radios to track down illegal broadcasts. Both want good in this world. Both are children full of curiosity and brightness. I have never been in the midst of a war. I have no idea the repercussions and personal loss that people endured during these times. I kept hoping that Marie-Laure's father would come home even after his arrest and placement in a German prison camp. It shocked me when he died - he never got to see his daughter again and she never got to feel his presence or hear his voice again. The war halted worthy lives and relationships that had so much potential to bring joy and light into this present darkness. Werner's mind was incredible but he had to use it to appease the Nazis he worked with. His story was cut unbearably short. The words Doerr used to carefully craft moments full of hope or heartbreak, suspense or resolution at times took my breath away. The way that language can cause emotions never felt before to rise from the pit of your stomach to your throat, the grief of another's loss or relief in an act of good or anger at a total injustice can expand the entire human experience we have here on earth. It is better to feel deeply than to always live in the grey twilight of never knowing true joy or true pain. This book engrossed me and allowed me to take on the emotions and experiences of people who never existed but whose experiences did. This book captured the excitement and curiosity surrounding newfound radio waves which are so commonplace now. This story allowed me to better understand what it must be like to be blind, even if for an instant. These words filled me with hope and anger. They reminded me to not take for granted my precious relationships. I have the privilege of not having to worry about the things these characters thought about daily. Books have always intrigued me. My mother instilled in me the importance of a trip to a bookstore, the excitement of choosing a book, and the feeling of being lost in the pages of someone else's thoughts and feelings. Books create much needed empathy and understanding that people cannot always get otherwise. Books can evoke all the feelings we cannot feel on our own just as Marie-Laure experienced all the light she could not see through the caring love of her father and the saving act of Werner.

"Let there be light" - words spoken, perhaps sang into the darkness and nothingness which brought on a vigorous but somehow gentle rush of soft, radiant light piercing through the darkness. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1–2). The power of language itself, the need to send and receive was perhaps the very thing that manifested this very life and universe itself. I won't lie - I was too intimidated to apply for this scholarship last year. Upon reading the winning and finalist applications, I was even more so intimidated by the incredible knowledge regarding physics, astronomy, quantum mechanics, genetics, and more that my impressive peers wrote about. I never especially excelled in my science or math classes, however, I argue that I understand a small part of this universe in a very different way than my scientifically inclined peers. I know that while I look at stars, I am bending ancient light with my cornea and sending it to my retina which in turn translates that pinprick of history into the image of a star, a constellation, a story. I also know that sound waves wash over my eardrum and are amplified by the mechanics of a minuscule hammer, anvil, and stirrup using distance and force to form a basic lever to increase the pressure of sound waves from the eardrum (55 square mm) to the oval window (3.2 square mm). I know that from there, the vibrations make the fluid in the cochlea shift which makes hair cells move. These dancing hairs take the movement of sound and translate it into the electrical signal our brain understands as music, voices, laughter, language. Our universe gives itself away when our cochlea's pattern matches that of spiral galaxies, sunflower seeds, musical scales and octaves, DNA structures, sea shells, the shape of hurricanes, and delightful poems where each line's number of syllables is the sum of the previous two. While I understand the basics of how humans see and hear, I also know about the brain uses those two senses together when listening to speech sounds. Watch this few-second video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFPtc8BVdJk, and listen closely. Then watch it again with your eyes closed. What you see is someone saying "ga ga" but what you hear is someone saying "ba ba." Feel where your tongue and lips are when you make those sounds. Your tongue should go up and touch your soft palate to make the /g/ sound and your lips should close to form the /b/ sound. When watching that video, your brain will likely compromise for the mismatch between sound and sight and allow you to hear "da da" as the articulators' placement is in between the lips and soft palate. The nature of our universe is perhaps this integration, this relationship that allows for a compromise or even allows something new to exist like the unsaid sound our ears hear. Objects wandering around in space hold on to one another with gravity to create something new: a system, a galaxy, a little planet in a goldilocks zone. One of my favorite classes was Neurolinguistics. I learned about the visual word form area (VWFA) compared to the fusiform face area (FFA) within the brain. Whenever someone sees another human face, their right occipital temporal lobe activates in recognition of humanness. Mirrored on the other side in the left occipital cortex, the brain reacts to letter combinations. Even more specifically, the VWFA activates to abstract representations of visual word forms. For example, RADIO and radio cause the same activation despite the different cases making the word look completely different. The human brain gets excited at the visual representation of abstract language itself just as it gets excited to see the visual representation of another soul walking about in a physical form. These two areas reflect our very humanness to connect with others by recognizing them to be one of our own and communicating with them. The interesting thing about the VWFA is that it is not actually formed until someone learns how to read. Researchers monitored the growth of this area in 5-year-olds throughout their reading acquisition. Adults who learn to read later in life also gain sensitivity in this area. This is just an incredible discovery that astonishes me every time I ruminate on it. One tiny chunk of grey fleshiness delights in seeing a human face while another dances when it detects written word. I fell in love with the study of how language works. Language is magic: a limitless, creative, innate need to communicate and connect with others. It is like learning a secret that has been right in front of you all your life. It is the implicit ease of comprehending and producing complex phonemes, morphemes, syntax, phonotactics, idioms, connotations, and so much more without ever needing to realize the underlying intricacies of it. Like language, the universe is right in front of us with so many secrets to share if we take the time to really look, to really listen, to really learn. The nature of our universe is interconnectedness. We are connected by the gravity of a star whose light is only 500 moments away. We are connected by the very elements that make up our persons and the carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and oxygen found within stars. We are connected by our breath pushed through vocal folds to produce sounds in the optimal range of human hearing that make up language. We are connected by the words of historians long gone to people and civilizations so very different from our own and yet were grounded in their ability to express and receive meaning from one another. The universe is connected by its origin and its destiny. We are not of this world but of this universe - be it physical or spiritual, we are citizens of both. I know that some people wonder if God exists, then why would he create secrets of the universe that humans will never have the resources to discover, let alone understand? I think that is because God delights in complexity and beauty regardless of it we ever find it. And yet, he delights in simple but elegant repetition - the sun rises and falls every day, trees wither and flourish throughout the year, and seasons come and go. G. K. Chesterton's words propel me to engage in the monotony and child-like wonder of life itself. “Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” ― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy I spoke of the integration of human senses, language, child-like wonder, and even God when trying to answer how to better understand the universe. I experience and learn about this universe every day. This universe has many secrets to offer that are not limited to this physical place in which we breathe and sigh and get bug bites. To better understand this universe in which we abide, I employ the concept of consistency (mundane yet beautiful repetition), the idea of connection through mere intonation, implicit phonological rules, eye contact, and theory of mind. I employ rules, implicit or otherwise, to understand the inner workings of the many layers our universe has to offer. The nature of our universe teaches us to delight in beauty for beauty's sake. It teaches us to reflect on complexity and the "bigger picture" when rules are seemingly broken. It is important to spend our lives working to better understand this vast and intricate universe since it reminds us of our place and yet our privilege. Douglas Adams, the genius who wrote "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," fictitiously created the Total Perspective Vortex wherein sentient beings are tortured when given "just one momentary glimpse of the entire unimaginable infinity of creation, and somewhere in it there's a tiny little speck, a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot, which says, 'You are here.'" And yet, despite our smallness, our insignificance, we are here. We have the privilege to exist and catch a glimpse of the awesomeness our universe holds. We are connected to our universe's origin be it through spoken word or a big bang or both. Either way, you and I are stardust and to dust we shall return.

I just finished my first semester of my master's program in speech-language pathology. I had a practicum wherein I worked directly with clients under supervision. I struggled to receive negative feedback from my practicum supervisor as I have done fairly well in school before. I wanted to be excellent at providing services but I really just did not know what I was doing. I could do readings and watch videos but exercising flexibility and creativity when a client did not want to follow my session plan (a common occurrence as I worked with 2-4 year-olds) was more difficult than I had anticipated. I sincerely wanted to please my supervisor and show her that I knew what I was doing. When she never praised my accomplishments but only told me how I was lacking in certain areas, I quickly became discouraged at the beginning of the semester. I worried that she did not like me as a person, let alone as a clinician. It made me want to switch to a different practicum under another supervisor. I spent several nights lying awake worrying about my next session. I cried to my mom on the phone (which is not a habit of mine) about how I didn't always agree with how my supervisor wanted things done. I felt as though I was walking on eggshells and anything I tried would never suffice. When our midterm meeting came around, I confronted her in tears about how I felt that I was doing terribly and that she did not trust me to do a good job. She kindly denied my concerns and promised that she did trust me while also knowing that I was still learning. She may have crushed some of my confidence with her feedback but instead of my usual response of getting sad, I decided to stop caring as much about what she thought of me. I decided to separate myself from the mistakes she pointed out in practicum. I realized that I was far more than her opinion of me and my mistakes. I eventually learned how to respect and learn from her negative feedback the way I should have from the start. I am nice. I am a people pleaser. I want to be liked and I want others around me to always feel welcome and liked as well. I had to learn that the end goal is not always simply to be liked but to work well with others who may have differences. I will not always be under the careful eye of a supervisor, but I have and will continue to learn from those experiences. I also realize that when I am out serving clients after graduation, I can do it my way while also incorporating strategies and skills I would have only gained from someone who would do it differently. After the midterm meeting, I felt a shift and started to tackle practicum and grow in my service delivery style. I made considerable progress in my data collection, session planning, and intervention strategies. I had to overcome some of my sensitivity (a rather big part of who I am) to just fail and try again during the next session. I learned that it is okay to not know what I am doing just yet, but can look back over 4 short months and see the progress I am capable of. I am still kind and try to make everyone feel welcome, but I stopped trying to find as much self-worth in others' opinions of me. Excellency takes time and often some negative feedback.

I know the song "To Build a Home" by the Cinematic Orchestra, sung by Patrick Watson by heart. The fluid piano, the crescendoing orchestra, and the vibrant vocals all captured my attention immediately when I first heard the song. It helped me find one of my truest friends. When I was a freshman and getting to know a junior named Gabby, we discovered that we both adored this rather obscure song. C.S. Lewis once said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" To this day, she and I connect over beautiful things like philosophy, dance, art, and music the same way we did over this breathtaking song. I know the scholarship panel can't listen to every song written about, but if you can - go listen. It starts out with gentle piano chords lovingly played. Patrick Watson's sweet, comforting voice comes in singing about a home. About a minute in, the piano picks up to what feels like gentle but eager running toward this home he has built for himself and his love. He sings of the home disappearing from them and how then they can leave and turn to dust. Their love lasts longer and stronger than any old house could. In the next verse, he sings of seeds and a tree older than him. It reminds me of all the times I climbed to the top of trees in the park across my street. How I held on as tightly as he sings about and how I was a little scared but invigorated by the views. This song means home and comfort to me. It gushes beauty and reminds me of friendship and childhood. It reminds me to appreciate beauty for beauty's sake.

I have lived in Lawrence, Kansas, since 2018 when I first started to attend the University of Kansas. Since being here, I have found incredible local businesses to support in the downtown area. I enjoy walking to Massachusetts St., nicknamed "Mass," where I could spend hours at the Yarn Barn (and have), where I find locally brewed coffee beans and beer, where I eat delicious homemade ice cream from Sylas & Maddy's. My dad's music store is on the same street as well where he builds custom drum sets for clients both locally and all over the world. More recently, I found a wonderful little business which is actually a dream of mine come true. It is called L.E.S.S. which stands for Lawrence Eco-friendly Sustainability Shop. Once a month, I bring my empty soap bottles and refill them with locally-made shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and more. I enjoy going to a locally owned grocery store called the Merc Co-op where I can buy all my food essentials. When I want to splurge though, I go across the parking lot to Leeway Butcher and buy fresh, quality meat. I also enjoy a tasty pastry from 1900 Barker and donuts from Munchers. I know that there are little local shops in every town and wherever I go after I am done with school, I will find these hidden gems. I know it's a small step, but I basically boycott Walmart and Amazon to support local places instead. I do my best to walk everywhere I can - to campus, the grocery store, and downtown. I am lucky enough to live within walking distance of most places I need to be. I hope to see more people doing the same since most car trips are less than 3 miles. Because of my research job working with individuals with physical disabilities, I am extra cognizant of the lack of accessibility on neighborhood sidewalks. The city recently went through a bout where they replaced several sidewalks but even more inadequate ones remain, especially unkept brick sidewalks. When I can, I tune into the City Commission Meetings to see how a variety of city issues are being handled, including accessibility and housing needs in the area. I support change by participating in local elections as well as national ones. I want to see a change in how communities work with and support differing populations such as those with disabilities, those without housing, and those with fewer resources. I am joining the "helping profession" of speech language pathology since I want to make an impact on people's lives. I want to see the world become its best self. Most people take the ability to communicate with ease for granted. It is one of the many ways humans connect with one another. If someone cannot communicate with ease, they may not be able to express themselves fully. Instead of advocating for change in their communities, they have to advocate just to be heard. I love the beauty and intricacy of language as well as the connections it can help to form. I will do my best to not only ensure that someone with a stutter, a speech impediment, or an augmented alternative communication device is heard but is allowed to reach their full potential in a world that struggles to accept differences. I plan to not only impact families locally through early intervention, but also to be the founder of a reading program to support school-aged children wherever I find myself after graduation. I feel strongly about acting locally and how a few small lifestyle changes can start to change my community, the country, and eventually the world. This starts with supporting local businesses, participating in local elections, walking whenever possible, building strong relationships with those around you, and amplifying the voices of individuals who may otherwise go unheard.

My mental health has taken several ups and downs during the past few years. Some days I am happy enough to wonder how I could ever consider myself depressed. Other days, I wonder how I will ever come out of my fog of apathy and lack of motivation. I feel that it is important to strive for days where positive mental health soars or is at least neutral. My depression has caused me to appreciate days wherein I am able to live life in a way that is neither distressed nor ecstatic. I know that a positive mental health is vital to my success, not only in school but in my work and relationships. Right now, I am struggling to recruit enough people for a research study I lead at my job. It is disheartening and frustrating, however, I am gleaning confidence from my supervisor and co-workers to "think outside the box" and reach out to enough of the right people. I am struggling to always be "happy" around my very sweet and supportive boyfriend. It is difficult because there is a lot of self-inflicted pressure to always be happy. Again, sometimes it comes effortlessly and I feel most like myself, while other times I feel unworthy because I know my boyfriend deserves better than the sad, small, and overly-sensitive thing that I can become. I believe that my positive mental health is vital to my overall health. I am motivated to exercise, engage in learning and leisure, and laugh at the little things when my mood is high. Unfortunately, my mood cannot always be optimally high. Instead of beating myself up about being in a bad mood, I have tried to alter my environment and utilize cognitive behavioral therapy to change my negative views and feelings. Whenever I feel unworthy, I remind myself of the strong and confident person that I am with the many accomplishments I have achieved with support from individuals who dearly love me. I maintain this positive mental health through engaging in mindfulness daily, prayers, stretching, exercise, walking, podcasts, audiobooks, music, childhood favorite movies, comfort food, and confiding in loved ones. I know that I am capable of a truly joyful life. I am conscious of the fact that I need to live in the now and not always in the future and "after school ends, after I am married, after I get a dog," etc. I cannot always maintain perfect mental heatlh, but I have been actively striving for it every day. Someday I will live my life day-to-day and forget how impactful my mindfulness, stretching, and learning from beauty in my environment did to my overall mental health.

I loved Tiana from Disney's "The Princess and the Frog" since she was one of the first voices I ever learned to adore. I remember when I was 9 years old and saw this phenomenal movie in theaters with my mom and sister for the first time. I was SO excited to go to the store afterward and get the soundtrack. I listened to those songs endlessly - now whenever I hear one on my regular Spotify playlist, I hear the beginning of the next song on the album regardless of what song plays next. I absolutely loved how hard Tiana worked to make her dreams come true. She embodies my ambition to complete school and be truly excellent at my job. I want to be a speech language pathologist (SLP) to enhance people's lives, not just make money. I know that certain SLPs go into this field to work in a hospital and with dysphagia (swallowing disorders). Those SLPs get paid a considerable amount more than I ever will in a school or private practice. While I care deeply for that population, I know that my heart and soul belong to language, reading, and children. Tiana didn't need the best-paying job - she needed one to fund her dream of serving people delicious food in her fancy restaurant. That dream still required hard work, excellency, and persistence. I hope to serve my clients and truly improve their quality of life even if it means working hard, researching, consulting, and sacrificing. I want to be excellent just like Tiana did. While I know that, of course, Tiana was singing because it was a musical, I also admire her voice, her passion, her creativity to share the beauty of her hard-earned accomplishments. I want to inspire others not only by my work, but my sharing of the beautiful intimacy of my work. Instead of helping people connect over a beautifullly crafted meal, I want to help people connect with words, either spoken, signed, or relayed through a communication device. I want to be like Tiana and change the world for the better one meal at a time - one word at a time.

I grew up in a household where music and art were encouraged over sports and exercise. While I appreciate my background, I plan to parent my future children differently and encourage striving for an overall healthy lifestyle. As a young adult in my early 20s, I recently started prioritizing exercise as part of my daily activities. I started attending the gym and even enrolled a second time in a women's strength training class. My boyfriend and I have started to sign up for a 5k each month, and I have now completed three! Together, he and I go on multiple walks a day and compare our health stats afterwards with my Fitbit and his Apple watch. Not only are these walks and runs beneficial to my physical health, but they increase my mental health. It is truly amazing to feel a sense of accomplishment after finishing a 5k, and I cherish the quality time I get to spend with my sweet man as well as all the neighborhood cats I get to pet. My life is busy with grad school, work, and keeping up with household activities, but I have found the joy and importance of taking the time to stretch, walk, and lift weights. I also have found satisfaction in my accomplishments in the kitchen. I enjoy preparing meals and planning for the week. It feels good to take care of myself by making overnight oats for my future self or finding creative ways to eat up an entire pork shoulder. I value the time I get to spend chopping vegetables and heating pans. It is a time for me to reflect on my day and appreciate what I have while creating delicious meals. Cooking is also a great time to get my music, podcasts, and audiobooks in - I need my obscure beautiful music, true crime, and Game of Thrones time. This first semester of grad school has been taxing on my mental health. I have a practicum where I am constantly scrutinized and critiqued. I am used to being pretty good at school, so I took it very personally when I was told that I needed to completely change the way I did a session with a client. I was able to openly and kindly confront my supervisor half-way through the semester about her feedback style and expectations that were not communicated. Practicum is still difficult and receiving mostly negative feedback is still frustrating, but I have been able to receive and learn from my feedback better and not take it so personally. I have allowed myself grace as I am still learning which is why there is so much room for growth. And I know that someday I will be excellent as a speech language pathologist because of the critiques I receive now. I have relied on my family, friends, and boyfriend through any low points during the semester while also practicing cognitive behavior therapy wherein I cut off negative thoughts and try to reframe them to better support myself. It is quite the feat to maintain my overall health on top of my research job, planning for sessions, and preparing for classes. I manage to get in my walks and stretching, my music and books for leisure, and my fruits and veggies with a gross amount of time management. I appreciate you taking the time to review my application. Stay healthy!

I am studying to be a speech language pathologist because of my love of language and people. Something that enticed me to this field is that it is research driven. I grew to love research after I begrudgingly took a research job my freshman year of college. I have grown in so many ways and have had 2 more research jobs, each with more responsibility than the last. Now, I am no longer simply entering data or transcribing speech sounds, I am eliciting both qualitative and quantitative data directly from participants. This excites me to no end because I am constantly learning how things can and should be different to better meet people's needs. I plan to work in early intervention which means that I will be on a team with a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, a social worker, and an early education specialist, and the families I serve. To prevent a family from having several visitors, we will use a service provider model wherein only 1 professional from the team works closely with the families. This means that I will be constantly learning from my team members what physical, emotional, social, and educational development should look like and how to support both children and families if any delays are present. I also plan to work with school-aged children with language and/or reading disorders. There is new research regarding this topic coming out all the time. In order to give best practice, I will not only read articles, but talk to other professionals, families, and the clients themselves. I do not want to be "stuck in my ways" and not accept new interventions or methods just because they were not what I learned in school. I want to ensure that my clients get the most out of our sessions, even if that means I have to constantly be aware of new developments in the field. Outside of my research and career, I hope to continue learning about philosophy, art, music, nature, theology, science, how to grow a garden, how to build a treehouse, how to change my brake pads, history, languages, cultures, and so much more. I plan to fill my house with books. My children's room will have too many books. My community will have a reading program that I either create or contribute to. I plan to stop and look at different leaves and wonder about them. I plan to feed myself and my family from my own garden. I plan to learn new songs on my guitar. I plan to learn how to paint a beautiful scene in nature. I plan to learn because I plan to be more complete as a person when I am old and tired than when I am young and energetic. I plan to do more, live more, learn more starting here and now and throughout my life rather than get excited that my "weekly screen report" average on my phone went from 3 hours to 2 hours and 45 minutes. I am more than just bingeing Netflix and scrolling endlessly on social media. I am soaking up real people's stories, my friends' favorite songs, my mother's favorite books, and how trees talk to each other. Life and learning are too wonderful to miss out on.

I started my undergraduate degree pursuing a major in linguistics. While I loved learning about it, when I asked a teacher what I could do with this degree, she gave me a vague and unsatisfying answer. I added speech language pathology my sophomore year. Now I am pursuing my master's degree in speech language pathology and utilize my love of linguistics to determine my areas of interest and potential expertise. I love the fine arts and sometimes wish that I had joined a choir or been in a few plays or took an art class while getting my undergraduate degree. I truly believe those talents are worthy and contribute so much to our culture and society. However, I do not plan to be a full-time artist or singer. I plan to change lives in a different way by helping those with communication differences or disorders. I cannot wait to graduate and be excellent at my job. Right now, I am in practicum where I serve people in both language and articulation areas. It is frustrating because I want to be the very best at truly helping someone who simply wants to better connect through communication. I am finishing up my first semester of graduate school and have realized that I am not the very best. I need the classes and the guidance from my supervisors. I need the practice and the experience. I need someone to tell me how I could have done intervention differently, or better yet, I need someone who challenges me to figure how to be better at my job. It has been difficult because I have never been "not good" at school. It's hard to be inexperienced and trying to figure out how to apply classroom teachings to actual speech and language sessions. Higher education allows me to grow. It is hard because I am not good at something I truly want to be excellent at, but I have the resources and the talented people leading my program that I can lean on. I wish I could be done with school and already making more of an impact in clients' lives (and an income), but I recognize my need to learn both in a classroom and with my clinical supervisor listening in on every session and giving me hard-to-swallow feedback. Higher education will allow me to support myself and my family as well as be comfortable enough to engage in the fine arts without depending on them for income. Higher education means that I can be truly prepared to serve people with quality, evidence-based, practiced interventions. Without it, I may be doing more harm than good in regard to the vital human need to communicate.

Obesity and depression are terrible problems arising in the US at an alarming rate. It is surprising because we live in the "land of milk and honey" where most want for nothing and have opportunities to pursue joy and overall health. I look around and see that my peers and my family and even myself are not taking the opportunity to treat our bodies like we should. Healthy eating is almost impossible when we are taught that every want should be quick, easy, and cheap. In the convenient world of fast food and frozen meals, fresh fruits and vegetables are seen as too expensive. Eating a healthy meal requires "doing your homework" (which we are taught to hate) to understand calories, carbs, healthy fats, etc. It also requires time, and we are taught that time is money. Some of the best things take time, are a bit difficult, and perhaps cost a little extra. I have been making sourdough bread and enjoying the gentle process that requires planning and patience. It is worth it to spend my precious time making delicious food for me and my sweet man to enjoy together. I make the dough the night before I want to bake it. Every thirty minutes, I stretch and fold the dough and watch it come together and become the right consistency. In the morning, I shape it and let it rest while the Dutch oven preheats. Then, I bake the dough and my house is filled with the smell of fresh baked bread. I used to find cooking cumbersome and stressful. It didn't always turn out the way I wanted, or I didn't start making it in time. Now, I try to view cooking as my healing time, either alone or alongside my partner. I listen to music and enjoy taking care of myself by chopping strawberries for my overnight oats, whisking eggs for an omelet, or seasoning a pork shoulder to make pulled pork. I feel as though I am loving myself when I take time to cook healthy meals for myself. I feel happy and accomplished just for feeding myself well. When I eat healthy meals regularly, I am not bloated or grumpy. I feel strong and like I am in control of my life and my body. I am learning to enjoy "doing my homework" and understanding what I put in my body. I am learning how to better take opportunities to fill my fridge with colors and tastes and calories that with feed my body and my soul. I am learning how to love taking time to care for myself in the kitchen. Healthy eating habits are life changing. I hope to continue bettering my habits throughout my life and truly enjoy food and how it makes me feel.

I grew up in a conservative, Christian household and attended a private school for 13 years. I was told that I was beautiful, smart, and worthy ever since I was young. I had wonderful friendships with my classmates. I was healthy and good at school. All this to say, I had no reason to be depressed. My world opened up when I started to attend camps and start jobs outside of my school and church. I met new and exciting people with different backgrounds and developed sweet friendships with so many individuals. I attended a 2-week camp in Wisconsin - 10 hours from home - every summer and stayed close to my camp friends all year despite only seeing them for two weeks out of the year. Many of my friends struggled with depression, anxiety, and/or substance abuse caused by trauma in their lives. I tried to bear their pain and burdens with them from afar. I didn't know how to do so in a healthy way and ended up simply doubling the pain - I was vicariously feeling my friends' pain in an effort to support them. This ultimately led to me becoming depressed for seemingly no reason, or at least reasons that were not my own. I truly wanted to understand my friends' pain and be able to say, "I know how you feel," and mean it. I was told that I was a goodie-two-shoes who didn't know anything about the world. In early high school, I was determined to change that, to learn things, to understand people better. I started sneaking out and spending time with a boy. We will call him Jay. Jay had a childhood friend who we will call Graham. Jay told me incredibly negative things about Graham and made it sound as though he was an unfeeling, insensitive jerk with no friends other than Jay. That impression could not have been more wrong. I avoided Graham until suddenly I decided to text him out of the blue. We talked all night because he told me that he stepped down from the side of a bridge to respond to my timely text. I thought that God had entrusted me to save Graham, that it was my duty to keep him safe from himself. I became close friends with Graham and learned that he was intelligent, emotional, vibrant, and perhaps the most sensitive person I've ever met. On Graham's particularly bad nights, I would roll out of my comfy bed and sneak out to cheer him up in the dead of night. I only left when my purse was heavier from the bullets I took from him and his heart was lighter from our laughs. Graham loved me and I loved him, but our loves did not align - he loved me romantically and I loved him platonically. He hated to see the way that Jay treated me, and he hated to realize that his best friend had suppressed him for years. I invited Graham to attend the 2-week camp with me where he found that he was loveable and indeed very loved. He made new friends who saw him for the kind and warm soul that he was. And he was confused - Jay had prevented Graham from making other friends since 3rd grade and had controlled him endlessly. Because of our close proximity at the 2-week camp, I didn't hang out with him as much in the months after we got home. Finally, after two months of not seeing each other, Graham and I got together to grab some food and hang out at his house. There I told him all about my new, healthy relationship with a kind boy from camp. I told him how much better it was than my emotionally abusive relationship with Jay. Even so, Graham asked me to be his girlfriend that day. I kindly declined and hugged him, assuring him that I cared for him but not in that way. And then I went to work. I gave him time after that day. Three days later my mother took me out of class to tell me that Graham had committed suicide. I remember thinking no laughter was allowed in the world. It wasn't right, not without Graham. Not when I was the last straw by denying his request. I should have known. The night I first texted him and prevented him from committing suicide, he was contemplating it because a girl had refused him. How could I have forgotten? I've felt heavy with this pain and guilt for over 5 years now. I know that I did not pull the trigger, that he did. But I never got to see his face again. I attended college the next year and decided that I would only make friends with mentally stable and happy people. And I found myself alone. I had to learn how to be someone to lean on without someone else's pain completely overtaking me. In my current relationships, I am honest about my own mental health and what I do to take care of myself. I go on walks and get sunshine, I utilize therapy, and I lean on my loved ones for support. I plan to work with children and families as a speech and language pathologist. I will not only help with their communication but also as humans with feelings. Language comes naturally to most of us, and we often assume that someone with a stutter or speech or language impairment is not as intelligent or worthy. Without typical communication skills, it is easy to feel isolated and misunderstood. I will be there to say, "I hear you. I see you. And you are not alone." I can honestly say, "I know how you feel," but I wish neither of us felt this way. We lost beautiful people to sadness. I am truly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sponsoring this scholarship in honor of your sweet mama.

Budget your time and your finances. If you don't, both will slip through your fingers without you knowing it. Be sure to carve out money in your budget for fun, buying wants and not needs, or eating out. And don't forget to budget time to relax and have fun. You got this! Instagram: @bethiekate

A healthy life is so much more than someone's physical appearance or weight. It is important to be well-rounded in health with equal weight given to both physical and mental health. I grew up in a home where creativity was encouraged. I read books, painted, wrote stories, sang, acted, and so much more. I wish, however, that my parents had cultivated an appreciation for physical health. I never played a sport and thought that gyms were not worth my time. Once I started gaining weight in college and saw my mental health decline, I decided to take charge of my overall health. I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a women's weightlifting class which sparked a new passion for me. My wonderful and understanding partner has been encouraging me during the last two and a half years to be more physically active. Instead of making me feel silly for having hardly any experience in running, he has always ran right next to me at my pace and pushed me to go farther than I had ever realized I could. For the entirety of our relationship, he has always been my motivator. I recently signed up for a 5k for the first time in my life as a 22-year-old. Instead of congratulating me, my parents asked me why I would do such a thing because "Running is terrible!" I know that their intentions are never to hold me back from doing what I love, but I will learn from their little mistake and encourage my own future children to be physically active. Eating mindfully is something that I have been working on as well. It is hard in a world of convenient food in a busy life of school, work, and relationships. My partner has been a great motivator for me in this area as well as we cook at home together every day. I will say that sometimes he goes for the best taste and not always the healthiest option, but it is something we are exploring together. I have struggled with depression for many years. This may be what has impacted my overall health the most. I continue to fight back though by doing simple things like getting enough sunshine, drinking enough water, and laughing at the little things. I not only attend therapy but encourage everyone to give it a try! I currently take an anti-depressant - something I have always been against for myself personally. It is my goal to wean myself off of it now that it has been a whole year. It affects my weight and prevents me from feeling intense emotion. That works out great when I used to experience extreme sadness, but I miss feeling true and utter joy. Something that elevates my mental health is the importance I feel in my work as a researcher and as a student of speech language pathology. Knowing that my effort has even a little impact on the worthy lives of others warms my heart. While I sometimes struggle to maintain the healthiest lifestyle, I know of its true importance. I remind myself everyday that my overall health will affect every aspect of my life. I am continually working on being mindful in my physical health through weightlifting, walking, running, and eating well. And I am actively overcoming my mental health issues one day at a time through meditation, creativity, stretching, therapy, exercise, and laughing at the little things with the people I love.

When I was in middle school, I begged my parents for a puppy. I knew that I loved all things cute and cuddly, and a baby dog would surely fulfill all my dreams. We met Penelope - a beautiful, fluffy Golden Retriever. When we brought her home, she was so tiny and energetic! I quickly realized that she wanted to do a lot more than just cuddle. I remember the moment of realization of true responsibility. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning every day to let her go potty or else I would have to clean up her mess myself. I took her on walks even when it was icy and snowy or blazing hot so that she could get all of her energy out. I brushed her and bathed her and combed her and fed her and whew. It was almost too adorable when her paws were too big for her body and I was able to wring her oversized skin out like a washcloth after I bathed her. It was a big moment in my life to realize that caring for another life takes effort, patience, understanding, unconditional love, and the willingness to get dirty. Penelope grew into a beautiful red "horse" and she still has adorable "pants" that are really just her overly fluffy back legs. She is starting to get grey in her fur around her eyes and doesn't move as quickly as she used to. She breathes her bad breath on me and puts her head in my lap. She goes on wonderful long walks with me even if it's raining. We both get soggy, she gets stinky, and it's just perfect. She makes me laugh all the time. A friend of mine stayed at my house for a summer 3 years ago. As a parting gift, she gave Penelope a squeaky banana toy. I thought Penelope would lovingly destroy it very early on in her relationship with her squeaky banana. But I was terribly wrong - to this day she will go get it out of her toy box to this day and gently cuddle her banana while she naps. As a person who has struggled with depression for years, Penelope effortlessly allows me to forget all my worries. She thinks I am beautiful because I am her mommy. She thinks I am capable because I take good care of her. She loves me and I love her. All of this reminds me to think of myself as beautiful, capable, and loveable in more eyes than just the two brown eyes of my sweet pup. She taught me responsibility, routine, and to have a love of nature no matter the weather and, of course, bananas.

When I was in high school, I was surprised when my mother told me that I was a leader. I did not enjoy group projects and keeping everyone in line with deadlines and expectations. I preferred to just do my part. I didn't want to become a "Team Leader" at my fast food job - I just wanted to be told what to do with no responsibility over anyone but myself. After she said that, however, I started to realize I can be both assertive and kind while being an active leader in my many communities. I have experienced my leadership skills blossom in many parts of my life including simple group projects in my classes, leading meetings at work, and caregiving for others. I am part of several communities, but the one that is closest to me now is my classmates in the speech language hearing department at the University of Kansas. I joined KU's National Student Speech Language Hearing Association (NSSLHA) and decided to apply for a position on the executive board. I had the honor of being nominated as the Peer Mentorship Chair. This position was new with no real basis for a Peer Mentorship Program. I eagerly set to work developing this program so that my classmates could benefit from it. I set rules, expectations, created surveys, descriptions, and more. When it was finally time to initiate the program, I sent out my organized overview of the program, the personality/interest surveys, and my hope that people would actually sign up. After hours of poring over career and hobby interests and schedules, I ended up matching 17 mentees to 15 mentors. I found that it was difficult to get so many college students' schedules to align for even a couple of events. Despite this challenge, I had success with mentors and mentees getting together for Peer Mentorship events such as an ice cream social, a brunch, and grad night. As much as I wanted everyone to participate, I had to learn a hard lesson. No matter how hard I tried to lead, it was up to other individuals whether they wanted to prioritize the program. That led me to find even more creative ways to encourage engagement in the program, such as incentives, better organization, and having to call people out for not following rules. I am a kind person and did not want to inconvenience anyone, however, I did learn how to require simple things such as becoming a member of NSSLHA before becoming a mentor or mentee. I had to turn people away which was hard but necessary. While I am no longer on the executive board for KU NSSLHA as the Peer Mentorship Chair, I take the extra time to help others in my program with questions. It has been a stressful time heading into grad school since so many documents, vaccination records, trainings, and more must be completed. My classmates have been asking one another how to find a certain link or get access to a site, and I have gone out of my way to not only respond but answer calls and investigate on my own. This may be a small thing, but my new friend recently told me just how much I was able to put her at ease by walking her through how to access an online course. Actively seeking out those in need and going above and beyond in the little things can affect mental health in big way. I will continue to do my best at helping others in my community to allow for overall better mental health.

I was introduced to individuals with disabilities first when I was 3-years-old because my parents opened their home as a therapeutic foster home. Until I was 18-years-old, there were always 1 or 2 foster brothers living down the hall from me. All of them had severe behavioral, intellectual, and/or communication difficulties. I honestly thought that I would never work with people with disabilities as an adult because, like most brothers, my foster brothers got on my last nerves. I am pleased to say that these brothers of mine are still my family today. It is much easier to love them tremendously now that we do not have to share a bathroom. I learned so much from them and how to appreciate someone despite their trauma-induced behaviors. I had a wonderful mentor this past year. I was drawn to her as she is a person of color who specializes in treating children with African American Vernacular English. I look around in my speech pathology classes and see so many people who look just like me: fair-skinned and female. While there is nothing wrong with either of those things, I plan to advocate for more diversity in my field. More genders, people of color, multilinguals should be here to serve all genders, colors, and languages. It is my plan to eventually fund a scholarship to young men, indigenous people, and people of color to receive schooling for speech language pathology. At my current research job, I interview adults with multiple sclerosis about their everyday activities and challenges. I am also working on a pilot study regarding adults who use a wheelchair and how to utilize socialization and technology to enhance their physical activity engagement. Both projects have allowed me to better understand proper language when talking to or about someone with a physical disability. I am more aware of my own ableness and actively try not to take it for granted. I am also learning how to be a strong advocate for individuals with physical impairments as I learn about their everyday challenges like exercise, visiting a friend, cooking a meal, pursuing education, etc., and how they overcome them. One of my favorite quotes is “Disability is a natural part of the human experience.” I have the absolute privilege of caregiving for a 12-year-old girl with autism. When I started at the beginning of 2021, we were in the midst of a pandemic. She had regressed to no longer speaking and had lost the little independence she had had. As the year progressed along with the routine of school, therapies, doctors, and more, she started to become herself again. It has truly been incredible to see her genuine personality. She talks to me and herself constantly. She loves pretty dresses, Mirabel from Encanto, painted nails, singing, and dancing. Needless to say, she makes me smile with no effort at all. It is natural to love her wholeheartedly. People do not say it, but they often view individuals with disabilities as less worthwhile than their typical peers – even as less than human. Even if subconsciously, it is shown in the way people with disabilities are treated every day. In my experience, I have found that so many people are judged unnecessarily based on the way they walk or talk or look. Differences ought to be celebrated and yet they are viewed as detrimental. The world would lose its color without diverse individuals. I will continue to not only show up for but constantly advocate for any person with any type of disability by educating my community through both my words and actions.

I used to think that it was normal to have severe stomach pain and sit on the toilet for long periods multiple times a week. It was what I had grown used to as a child and still deal with at times today. I finally went to the GI doctor and was told that I likely had irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). It was frustrating that I did not have an exact course of treatment as IBS has no exact known cause or cure. I was encouraged to try incorporating more superfoods into my diet and have been able to see the incredible difference in my quality of life ever since. I focused on adding more fresh fruits and veggies, probiotics, and fiber into my diet and eventually researched the best ones for my overall health. One of my favorite ways to incorporate fruits like blueberries, raspberries, or avocados is to just eat them plain as a snack or blend them with a banana and some kefir into a smoothie. It's also easy to throw in chia seeds, flax seeds, Greek yogurt, whole oats, and/or spinach. I don't always add everything since I try to make smoothies that don't require too much chewing and enjoy a little variety. I also think it is so fun when the chia seeds swell up after soaking in the smoothie! My boyfriend gets free farm-fresh eggs each week from his friend. It is honestly so nice to know that our eggs come from a local and trusted friend who treats his animals well. It's so good to make omelets with tomatoes, spinach, and mushrooms or just enjoy a tasty medium fried egg. I absolutely love brussels sprouts and enjoy them as a side to my main entre. I roast them in the oven and add a little bit of balsamic vinegar. Another good side dish is roasted broccoli with olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes. I need to start getting peas in a pod and not just from the can. I enjoy just heating a can of peas with butter and eating them with dinner. I was introduced to broccoli rabe on a trip to Colorado with my boyfriend. We went to a little pizza place in Boulder and my boyfriend was so excited when he saw the topping option. I am pleased to say that it was probably the best pizza I had ever tasted. Whenever we see it at the store, we get it and make our own pizza from scratch and try to replicate the pizza we had in Boulder. One of my favorite cuisines is Indian food. I love to use quality olive oil, fresh ginger, garlic, spinach, sweet potatoes, turmeric, and so many incredible spices. I also love Mexican food and usually incorporate black beans, avocados, leafy greens, sour cream, tomatoes, and more. I get the "Good Culture" sour cream with probiotics. Finally, how could I leave out Italian food? One of my go-to meals to eat is pasta aglio e olio - garlic and oil. The recipe calls for large slices of garlic with an olive oil sauce, lemon juice, and parsley. It is simple and easy to make and perfect for a romantic date night at home. Overall, my life is better when I incorporate superfoods into my everyday meals. I love the way they taste, I love that they make my IBS manageable, and I love to get quality time cooking with my sweet boyfriend.

One of my favorite courses in my undergraduate was called Neurolinguistics. I thought that it would be difficult or not align with my interests, however, I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat and soaking up every word my professor said each class. One discovery he taught me was of the visual word form area (VWFA) compared to the fusiform face area (FFA). Whenever someone sees another human face, their right occipital temporal lobe activates in recognition of humanness. Mirrored on the other side in the left occipital cortex, the brain reacts to letter combinations. Even more specifically, the VWFA activates to abstract representations of visual word forms. For example, RADIO and radio cause the same activation despite the different cases making the word look completely different. The human brain gets excited at the visual representation of abstract language itself just as it gets excited to see the visual representation of another soul walking about in a physical form. These two areas reflect our very humanness to connect with others by recognizing them to be one of our own and communicating with them. The interesting thing about the VWFA is that it is not actually formed until someone learns how to read. Researchers monitored the growth of this area in 5-year-olds throughout their reading acquisition. Adults who learn to read later in life also gain sensitivity in this area. This is just an incredible discovery that astonishes me every time I ruminate on it. One tiny chunk of grey fleshiness delights in seeing a human face while another dances when it detects written word. I used to think I was bad at science and that it was terribly boring. I appreciate teachers who can show me the sheer beauty of these discoveries and remind me to stay curious.

Cherishing Teddy I do not remember a time without a pet as a child. We always had a family dog and at least two cats. When I was in elementary school, I got my first hamster, lovingly named Teddy. He was light brown with creepy red eyes and so very soft. He ran on his squeaky wheel endlessly throughout the night. My mother couldn't watch scary movies because she'd wake up in the night and be terrified of the menacing squeak coming from the other room until she remembered it was just Teddy. I am quite sure now that our idea of putting his fish tank cage on the floor was a mistake. While it couldn't fall from a shelf and shatter, the cats could easily climb on top of the mesh lid to stare tauntingly down at him. Despite this supposed constant trauma, Teddy lived a good and full life of two years. I played with him every day by holding him and feeding him treats that looked like carrots. I read stories and sang to him. I protected my little Teddy. I am not sure if he enjoyed being a part of our family Christmas photo, but we sure enjoyed putting a tiny Santa Claus hat on him and holding him through a hole in a Christmas stocking. It is still one of my favorite Christmas photos to this day. As all pets do at some point, Teddy got old in his hamster years, and eventually, I woke to find him unresponsive in his food bowl. It was absolutely tragic. We held a beautiful ceremony for him. He was buried in a shoebox with all his favorite toys and treats. I cropped the Christmas picture to just his tiny face with his Christmas hat. I placed it on a headstone I made from a concrete stepping stone kit from a craft store. My older sister dug the hole, my older brother played the accordion, and my friend Rachel and I found Bible verses to read at his funeral. I remember crying at night in my bed and praying to God for my Teddy to be returned to me. I called out Teddy's name in my tears. I was heartbroken by my loss and devastated to no longer have my little friend. Recalling this made me smile at my dramatic response to this tiny creature's death. It was the first time I had ever been introduced to the death of a loved one. I am quite sure that it has helped me cope with the loss of some exquisite people in my life. Being responsible for a pet allowed me to better understand how to love. I also learned how to appreciate someone while they are here with me on this earth, no matter how little time I have with them. Cherishing Teddy taught me that it is better to love deeply even with the risk of heartbreak than to never experience that love at all in the first place. I cannot wait to buy my future children's first pet - be it a fish, a puppy, a kitten, or even a little Teddy 2.0.

A healthy life is so much more than someone's physical appearance or weight. It is important to be well-rounded in health with equal weight given to both physical and mental health. I grew up in a home where creativity was encouraged. I read books, painted, wrote stories, sang, acted, and so much more. I wish, however, that my parents had cultivated an appreciation for physical health. I never played a sport and thought that gyms were not worth my time. Once I started gaining weight in college and saw my mental health decline, I decided to take charge of my overall health. I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a women's weightlifting class which sparked a new passion for me. My wonderful and understanding partner has been encouraging me during the last two and a half years to be more physically active. Instead of making me feel silly for having hardly any experience in running, he has always ran right next to me at my pace and pushed me to go farther than I had ever realized I could. For the entirety of our relationship, he has always been my motivator. I recently signed up for a 5k for the first time in my life as a 22-year-old. Instead of congratulating me, my parents asked me why I would do such a thing because "Running is terrible!" I know that their intentions are never to hold me back from doing what I love, but I will learn from their little mistake and encourage my own future children to be physically active. Eating mindfully is something that I have been working on as well. It is hard in a world of convenient food in a busy life of school, work, and relationships. My partner has been a great motivator for me in this area as well as we cook at home together every day. I will say that sometimes he goes for the best taste and not always the healthiest option, but it is something we are exploring together. I have struggled with depression for many years. This may be what has impacted my overall health the most. I continue to fight back though by doing simple things like getting enough sunshine, drinking enough water, and laughing at the little things. I not only attend therapy but encourage everyone to give it a try! I currently take an anti-depressant - something I have always been against for myself personally. It is my goal to wean myself off of it now that it has been a whole year. It affects my weight and prevents me from feeling intense emotion. That works out great when I used to experience extreme sadness, but I miss feeling true and utter joy. Something that elevates my mental health is the importance I feel in my work as a researcher and as a student of speech language pathology. Knowing that my effort has even a little impact on the worthy lives of others warms my heart. While I sometimes struggle to maintain the healthiest lifestyle, I know of its true importance. I remind myself everyday that my overall health will affect every aspect of my life. I am continually working on being mindful in my physical health through weightlifting, walking, running, and eating well. And I am actively overcoming my mental health issues one day at a time through meditation, creativity, stretching, therapy, exercise, and laughing at the little things with the people I love.

When I was in middle school, I begged my parents for a puppy. I knew that I loved all things cute and cuddly, and a baby dog would surely fulfill all my dreams. We met Penelope - a beautiful, fluffy Golden Retriever. When we brought her home, she was so tiny and energetic! I quickly realized that she wanted to do a lot more than just cuddle. I remember the moment of realization of true responsibility. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning every day to let her go potty or else I would have to clean up her mess myself. I took her on walks even when it was icy and snowy or blazing hot so that she could get all of her energy out. I brushed her and bathed her and combed her and fed her and whew. It was almost too adorable when her paws were too big for her body and I was able to wring her oversized skin out like a washcloth after I bathed her. It was a big moment in my life to realize that caring for another life takes effort, patience, understanding, unconditional love, and the willingness to get dirty. Penelope grew into a beautiful red "horse" and she still has adorable "pants" that are really just her overly fluffy back legs. She is starting to get grey in her fur around her eyes and doesn't move as quickly as she used to. She breathes her bad breath on me and puts her head in my lap. She goes on wonderful long walks with me even if it's raining. We both get soggy, she gets stinky, and it's just perfect. She makes me laugh all the time. A friend of mine stayed at my house for a summer 3 years ago. As a parting gift, she gave Penelope a squeaky banana toy. I thought Penelope would lovingly destroy it very early on in her relationship with her squeaky banana. But I was terribly wrong - to this day she will go get it out of her toy box to this day and gently cuddle her banana while she naps. As a person who has struggled with depression for years, Penelope effortlessly allows me to forget all my worries. She thinks I am beautiful because I am her mommy. She thinks I am capable because I take good care of her. She loves me and I love her. All of this reminds me to think of myself as beautiful, capable, and loveable in more eyes than just the two brown eyes of my sweet pup. She taught me responsibility, routine, and to have a love of nature no matter the weather and, of course, bananas.

A healthy life is so much more than someone's physical appearance or weight. It is important to be well-rounded in health with equal weight given to both physical and mental health. I grew up in a home where creativity was encouraged. I read books, painted, wrote stories, sang, acted, and so much more. I wish, however, that my parents had cultivated an appreciation for physical health. I never played a sport and thought that gyms were not worth my time. Once I started gaining weight in college and saw my mental health decline, I decided to take charge of my overall health. I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a women's weightlifting class which sparked a new passion for me. My wonderful and understanding partner has been encouraging me during the last two and a half years to be more physically active. Instead of making me feel silly for having hardly any experience in running, he has always ran right next to me at my pace and pushed me to go farther than I had ever realized I could. For the entirety of our relationship, he has always been my motivator. I recently signed up for a 5k for the first time in my life as a 22-year-old. Instead of congratulating me, my parents asked me why I would do such a thing because "Running is terrible!" I know that their intentions are never to hold me back from doing what I love, but I will learn from their little mistake and encourage my own future children to be physically active. Eating mindfully is something that I have been working on as well. It is hard in a world of convenient food in a busy life of school, work, and relationships. My partner has been a great motivator for me in this area as well as we cook at home together every day. I will say that sometimes he goes for the best taste and not always the healthiest option, but it is something we are exploring together. I have struggled with depression for many years. This may be what has impacted my overall health the most. I continue to fight back though by doing simple things like getting enough sunshine, drinking enough water, and laughing at the little things. I not only attend therapy but encourage everyone to give it a try! I currently take an anti-depressant - something I have always been against for myself personally. It is my goal to wean myself off of it now that it has been a whole year. It affects my weight and prevents me from feeling intense emotion. That works out great when I used to experience extreme sadness, but I miss feeling true and utter joy. Something that elevates my mental health is the importance I feel in my work as a researcher and as a student of speech language pathology. Knowing that my effort has even a little impact on the worthy lives of others warms my heart. While I sometimes struggle to maintain the healthiest lifestyle, I know of its true importance. I remind myself everyday that my overall health will affect every aspect of my life. I am continually working on being mindful in my physical health through weightlifting, walking, running, and eating well. And I am actively overcoming my mental health issues one day at a time through meditation, creativity, stretching, therapy, exercise, and laughing at the little things with the people I love.

I have never described myself as brave - likely because that seems to be the stuff of knights and princes in the fantasy stories I used to read. Upon reflection, I found that I have practiced a significant amount of bravery in my relationships and have been bold in my life decisions. I experienced intense emotional pain in high school when many of my close friends dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts. Instead of bearing my sweet friends' burdens with them, I doubled the pain by vicariously feeling their emotional turmoil. After I lost a friend to suicide, I decided that I would only make close friends in college with people who had "manageable" mental health. Eventually, I found myself with little to no close friends in college because I had guarded my heart against others' pain. It turns out that most people experience hardship as part of being human. That is when I realized that it was time to be bold in my humanness and love others by finding healthy ways to bear pain with them. It took an enormous amount of bravery to allow myself to be vulnerable enough for my new friends to feel comfortable being vulnerable with me. Bravery looks different to everyone based on their day, their background, their opportunities - for me, it is to experience life to its fullest. The brightness of the good days and the darkness of the bad days far outshine the twilight of never experiencing true and utter joy or relatable heartfelt pain with the people you love. I am brave even if I don't rescue "damsels in distress" alongside knights. Instead, I laugh and cry with them both at all the silly and serious things we share in this little life.