Art has always been a part of my identity. My journey began in fourth-grade aftercare, when I took a sheet of paper and began to draw. I was asked by my friends to join in on a friendly drawing competition, and it was the first time I realized I had a hobby in common with my friends, which brought us closer together. In these contests, I always seemed to win. My inspiration at the time came from Anime, so I drew characters from my favorite shows, such as Naruto and Luffy. The designs of the characters were interesting in terms of their styling and coloring. I also felt these characters exuded a physical strength I wish I had. My classmates would express their admiration for my work, and that encouraged me to keep creating, and eventually, I developed my own characters. At that time, I did this for fun, and my practice slowly evolved into a release for my emotions. During middle school, I struggled with COVID. I was feeling lonely and isolated at home with no one to connect with in person. Then, in high school, my parents got divorced. I felt lost, frustrated, and stuck. I was feeling helpless and like I had no control over the situation. Even if I wanted to see my dad, I couldn’t. My mom wouldn’t let me see my dad, and that caused tension between me and her. I felt that this was my breaking point, and I sought refuge in my art, knowing I needed something to express myself. My work shifted from silly Anime drawings to subject matter that described what was going on in my life. Before my parents’ divorce, I typically stuck to using markers. An example of a piece that highlighted my work with markers was Undeserved Victim. Although this piece looked visually appealing, I knew I could push myself further to link my art with my struggles. This piece was a colorful and overwhelming composition that seemed happy but had a deeper meaning, which had to do with my parents' divorce. In freshman year, I started attending art classes after school to further my studies in the visual arts and build a portfolio. I began to expand my range and was pushed to use different mediums such as acrylics, graphite, charcoal, oils, and pastels. During my time taking classes, I found that I loved using graphite. Graphite complemented my dark and gritty work and allowed me to push for harsh values. During the summer before my senior year, I attended a portfolio development course at Parsons. I did a lot of studies, observational drawings, and sculptures. I got a taste of college life as an art student and was able to learn a lot about not just my art but also myself. Each element of my artwork represents a real moment, setting, or object in my life. I am my own subject because the art is about me, my feelings, and my experiences. Art is the best way I have found to express myself, and actualizing my struggles on paper helps me process the difficult moments in my life. I want to inspire others to use art to help them get through difficult times. I hope that after viewing my work, people will realize that they are not alone, and eventually, with time and healing, things can and will get better. Getting over traumatic experiences is a process. I’m not sure where the finish line is, but I know that through my art, I’m closer than when I began.

Art has always been a part of me. I remember when my art journey started in fourth-grade aftercare and how it progressed into what it is today. One day, I pulled out a sheet of paper and drew lots of characters, such as Naruto and Luffy. My classmates told me my drawings were really good and to keep going and make my own, which I did. At that time, I did this for fun, but I didn’t realise the effect it would have on me in the future. At home, my parents started having small fights now and then, but I didn’t think much of it. Slowly, it began to become more and more aggressive. I started to be dragged into the middle of their fights. They would tell their side of the story and convince me they were right. My mom was always angry and started taking it out on me. Her words cut deep. If I did something wrong, she would go off and curse me out, take my phone, and isolate me from my friends. My dad would try to protect me from this and get me out of the house. My parents finally got divorced in the summer of 2023. It was a messy divorce; my brother and I were in the middle of it. My mom got complete custody of my brother and me; I wasn’t able to see my father for a month. During this time, I was being mistreated and constantly lied to. While I was going through this, my dad was actively trying to get more custody to see me more. My personal and school life wasn’t that easy either. I always felt like an outcast in elementary, middle, and even high school. Everybody had their own cliques and friend groups, but I never felt I belonged to any of them. I never felt I had a best friend or that one friend I could talk to about anything. I always feel lonely sitting at home watching people go out with their friends. Even though this happened to me, I still had my art to get me through it. When I had strong emotions to get out, I turned to my sketchbook for help. My style of drawing evolved from colorful anime characters to dark and more deeply rooted drawings. But even if I was drawing twisted sketches or fun drawings of celebrities, my art always took my mind off the things around me. For example, one of my drawings describes how I felt during this time. It displays two figures sitting together at night, one representing me and the other a good friend. It might seem innocent and kind-hearted at first, until you look closer. The figure representing the best friend doesn’t have a shadow. This represents the friendship I never had and how lonely I felt. Right now, I'm doing a lot better than I was two years ago. My dad now has 50/50 custody over my brother and me. I am happy to be able to see him more, and I was only able to get through this struggle with him and my art. Even though I still haven’t gotten over my past struggles, my mission now is to express my story through my art. I want other people to know that they are not alone. I hope my art can connect with other people and inspire them to keep going as I am. I now don’t want to draw to escape but to inspire others.